Glow-up Tips That Actually Work From Your Favourite Beauty Girly (me)

Maybe you don’t feel any hope for the future. And you want to give up. Even if that’s true, consider if you are curious about what’s coming?

Maybe that can be enough.

A reminder for anyone who may need this: Feel that emotion. Let it flow through you, through your body, through your soul. Give it space. It may not be comfortable, especially at first. It may feel like burning sludge ripping through the pipes your soul. It may feel like the blackened roots of an unknowable mold penetrating into the deepest recesses of your chest. It may even feel like the most blinding light, so intense that if you let it free your very being will be washed away in its brightness. But I promise you, you will feel the better for it. To be human is to feel. Anxiety, fear, rage, dread, grief. They all have their places, and we experience them for a reason. Give them space, lest they take that space by force. It will pass, and you will be okay.

You will be okay.

coffee / writing date / ☕️ / ✍🏽 / 🤍

Start

Mindfulness is the plow, the hoe, and the irrigation source that waters insight.

— Thich Nhat Hanh, The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching

One depression hack I've found is comparing how I treat myself to how I treat my cat.

Oh you didn't eat dinner, but you want to go to bed? You wouldn't make kitty cat go to bed without dinner would you? No? Got get a snack.

Oh you don't feel like taking your meds? Would you make kitty cat skip his meds? Go take your meds.

Oh kitty cat is allowed to have a bad day and be cranky about it but you're not? Is that the logic we're playing by, hmm?

I have reframed taking care of myself to just taking care of another cat. It works wonders.

rediscovering shame and giving yourself compassion (how to deal with shame as someone with ADHD)

this is directed towards my fellow ADHDers who have trouble with reoccuring shame while leads to hindered productivity.

signs that your productivity is hindered by shame (compiled by my own experiences):

you feel negative physical symptoms when you think about your responsibilities

you find ways to avoid the responsibilities

every time you make progress, you feel like you don't ever wanna touch it again

when you present your progress, you feel ashamed of yourself because it's not finished (on time & according to ur standards).

you feel like you are a constant failure. you never win, despite achieving good things here and there.

you are a walking ball of anxiety

you have a fear of being perceived

there's probably more, but eh those are just from my own experiences

below i will write down what y'all should remember, what you can do to help yourself, etc. this is compiled from dr k, my own journaling time, and my firsthand experience from having shame 24/7

some things u gotta remember

shame is what exists in the gap between your ideal self and where you are currently.

your ideal self doesn't have to be unrealistic, it can be yourself when you were at your peak or someone who is very similar to you.

shame brings negative thoughts, because it makes you see progress as a negative thing.

instead of being happy that u made progress, u grumble to urself and ask "why didnt i just do it sooner? im so stupid". it's a reminder of your failures, so u avoid progress altogether.

shame can become a part of you, to the point where you feel uneasy or vulnerable if you dont feel ashamed at yourself

shame doesn't do anything to ADHDers in the long run except self-loathing and hindered productivity.

what should u do?

basically self-therapy, but instead of stopping at why, i try to solve my shame one-by-one.

examine past moments where you felt a LOT of shame. this can go back to elementary. the stronger the emotions, the better. now, write them down. you're probably cringing, but that is good. feel all the cringiness running through ur veins.

why did you feel shame? why did it happen? what did you feel?

reframe your thoughts. instead of immediately running away from it, accept it and justify it. give it compassion. give it a hug. was it your 7 year old self? hug yourself. it's okay to fuck up and do silly things sometimes, and it's okay to have ADHD. it's not our fault.

remember that ADHD is a lifelong nerudivergency, you can't just push it away. coping mechanisms and tools help, but give yourself some grace when you screw up. it's our first time living anyway.

calm your body down. make sure your physical body is doing okay.

now... think of one thing you want to do but can't because of shame and do these steps carefully. think of the reasons why you might be ashamed, and reframe your thoughts.

WARNING!! TAKE IT ONE PRESENT ACTION AT A TIME. don't do this for every action you want to take, let your body slowly learn that it's okay to make progress despite the shame you feel, and you are allowed to feel compassion for yourself.

train your body to accept compassion slowly. life is tough with ADHD but it's even tougher knowing that shame will get in your way. give yourself a break, it's fine to fuck up, we all go through different things anyway. even if it's not fine, you will learn and make those mistakes a lil bit lesser in the future.

ok hope this helps.

how to begin your rebranding journey (self-rebrand tips)

1. start following accounts (like mine🫶) that helps you with your rebrand. whoever you want to become, how you want to live, use social media as a way to constantly be reminded to upgrade yourself. subscribe to youtubers who live how you want to live and those who will help you with what you need help with. you use social media everyday so you might as well use it for a purpose rather than endless scrolling. change it up, it’s okay

2. this kind of goes hand-in-hand with number 1, but change your mental environment. you are the content that you consume. you are the music you listen to, you are the tv shows you watch, you are the social media you follow— all this media is being recorded in your mind. your subconscious mind perceives it as real. think about it: people who listen to sad music are generally always pretty sad. people who watch crime documentaries are usually scared and on high alert 24/7. it’s okay to enjoy your favorite music, tv shows, movies, books, etc., but be careful of how much of it you’re consuming. change it up, it’s okay

3. change your physical environment. redecorate, move, clean, organize, go outside more, do everything you need to do to change your physical environment. this can be as simple as letting in fresh air and sunlight rather than keeping the blinds closed and being in the horrible fake yellow light and air conditioning (unless it’s extreme heat or cold outside.. obviously). maybe try eating out at that restaurant instead of having it delivered. always look to change your environment and surroundings. change it up, it’s okay

4. i suggest doing the steve harvey 300 things list. if you don’t know what it is, you write down 300 things you want for yourself and for your life. read it every morning and every night. pray over it. meditate over it. and work on some of those things. it’s not enough to just read and pray, you have to do the work. feel free to look it up on youtube

5. start working on your goals today. do something. anything. maybe you can only handle one goal at a time. that’s okay. maybe you can work on multiple goals at once, that’s okay too. it’s not a race. do something right after reading this, it’s okay

helpful things to remember:

it's not going to happen overnight, relax

you must enjoy the process and not try to focus so much on just the end result

you're going to have good days and bad days. again, relax