And?

Literally just my alternate Horus Heresy setting.

Come back, I have to tell you the plot of a fic I’ll never write and get you excited about it so we can all be disappointed with me later

Well, I'm fairly sure the British coined "eat like we have free healthcare", but the USA and USB one is absolutely amazing.

I thought the Custodes were supposed to have the finest equipment the Imperium could supply.

warhammer fact of the day:

did you know? the Sabbat-pattern helmet used by the Sisters Militant of the Adepta Sororitas was designed with a liftable visor so that they can kiss and make out with each other while wearing it (they may have to tilt their heads a little).

this is true and canon. verified information.

I mean, it's a pretty impressive gun. It's basically a souped-up meltagun, and while it's pretty much single-shot, it'll be one nasty shot.

Imagine being threatened at gunpoint by Sanguinius. Oh no is the great angel going to smite me? Cut me down with his holy blade?

Nope, he just loads his peashooter and puts it against your head.

Memes about my homebrew chapter

The Emerald Wings

I follow the Astartes Anonymous theory for Perturabo: what do you *think* he made the Iron Circle for if not to be his supporting environment when he wants to be soft?

Which primarch dolly would be best at taking cock? And I don’t mean fake crying from pleasure like some sex dolls have, but which butthole would be the most slick and accadanting to it’s grith and size? Or: You think like with how imperial fists are all about enduring pain, would Dorn be that type of guy to pretend sexualy as a statue while partner electroduces them and call him his huge brave little dolly?

Hmmmm, very good questions all around. First of all, I must say; I don’t think EVERY primarch would be a doll. Some of them would be dollmakers, and some of them would have no interest in dollification whatsoever.

IMO the list is as follows:

Lion: Doll, only for Sanguinius, reluctant at first but then feels how lovely it is to have his angel fuss over tying his hair back with a ribbon and call him a beautiful doll. Then he’s smitten with the concept. Gets dressed in fancy Caliban court attire and imperial dress uniform, because he’s a little figurine of a knight. Doesn’t get penetrated, but Sanguinius will jack or suck him off at the end of doll time if he behaves.

2: turns out they were a recast knockoff :/

Fulgrim: Doll OR Dollmaker. Partial to the ball jointed doll, EGL kind of look; fluffy petticoats and lace and ruffles abound, big sweet eyes, pink cheeks and lips. Will be a dollmaker for anyone curious, just to help them try it out, and is secretly holding out hope that Konrad will agree to it one day; he has such perfect pale skin, and big dark eyes, and long dark hair, he’d be the perfect doll. Fulgrim gets penetrated by his own dollmaker, easily and eagerly - his cunt is soaked by the time he’s fully dressed, he enjoys it so much, and from there it’s just a matter of pushing his petticoats up.

Perturabo: Neither, but not for lack of trying. He gets too impatient and uncomfortable to be a doll and too frustrated being a dollmaker. He’s asked Fulgrim a few times if he can have a go at him while he’s still in doll headspace though.

Jaghatai: skip I don’t know enough about him

Leman Russ: this guy’s into prey/pred and puppy play, not dolls

Dorn: Yeah kind of exactly what you said, honestly

Konrad: HE WOULD BE SUCH A GOOD DOLL I KNOW HE WOULD. Unfortunately. The everything else about him. Keep asking, Fulgrim, you’ll get him one day. Wouldn’t like penetration, but would like grinding with another doll while their maker watches.

Sanguinius: Dollmaker!! More of a masculine focus with his dolls, dressing them up like decorated generals in parade uniform or fairytale princes. Pretty enough to be a doll himself, but it feels too much like worship to him, and he doesn’t like being worshipped

Ferrus: Another dollmaker! For Fulgrim this time. He doesn’t like an awful lot of frill and decadence in his own life, but when it comes to making sure the ruffles and petticoats sit perfectly on his doll? He’ll be laser-focused on lace. Adores putting on the finishing touches; hair ornaments, jewelry, gently sliding and buckling shoes on. Having Fulgrim so malleable in his grasp just makes him bend his dolly over and fuck him full as soon as he’s dressed.

11: concept for a playline fashion doll that never got past prototyping :(

Angron: DO NOT

Roboute: Another smart-suited fairytale prince doll for Sanguinius! Doesn’t get penetrated, but adores giving oral - tell him he’s even prettier on his knees and he’ll whine

Mortarion: Stinky. Do not attempt

Magnus: He’ll try anything once! Prefers the clothing worn by the wealthy on Prospero for dolls - light, gauzy linen skirts dyed beautiful colours, jewelry dripping with precious metals and semi-precious stones, intricate sandals, maybe even a beaded net over the hair. It’s about the process, to him, not fitting the criteria of what a doll ‘should’ look like. Prefers to penetrate, regardless of if he’s doll or maker

Horus: Simply does not ‘get it’. Likes kinky sex! Just doesn’t click with this kind

Lorgar: Nah. Religion kink, maybe virginity kink, but not dollification

Vulkan: I don’t think he’d be a dollmaker, but he does strike me as the sort to want to play with a doll. Maybe he can work out an arrangement with one of the makers

Corvus: Dolly in denial. Get Corvus a pretty little gothic lolita dress and a black petticoat and cute little mary-jane style shoes and that’s it. The point of no return. Corvus would also be such a beautiful doll, with the pale skin and dark eyes and hair.

Alpharius(? Omegon??): Who. Fucking knows

So, what would you have had him do?

MF be like "Leandros should have gone to a chaplain or libarian and handled his suspicions of Titus in-house", and you know what? I get that. There's precedent for it. I remember reading about this big incident at the end of the Great Crusade where space marines handled suspicions of heresy in-house. I don't quite remember the name. Something starting with an "H", I think.

You will never escape. (Okay, well, that's not entirely true. You might be able to if you look hard enough.

i hate it when people are writing a long ass thing and start a parenthetical aside and forget to close parentheses it makes me feel like i cant escape from the sentence

There's two whole Space Marine legions of twinks, though. Where do you think the Emperor got the genetics he used for Fulgrim from?

pfahahahahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

THE IMPERIUM IS WOKE