thefastestshowersintheworld
Lemony Snicket Enjoyer(currently not using this blog a lot, my actual main is @lemonycranberries go check it there)
39 posts
Latest Posts by thefastestshowersintheworld
ma meilleure ennemie is so lemony and ellington coded
So funny actually when people’s issue with sunny is that she doesn’t age and not. Um. Everything else
A Series of Unfortunate Events Meme
[½ dedications] – The Austere Academy
UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; THE FINAL FINAL
Shen Qingqiu Propaganda:
The entire series is told from his POV and the story seems like a comedy. The side stories from other characters POVs make the story sound like a tragedy. He thought that Luo Binghe hated him and wanted him dead while everyone else knew that Binghe was in love with him.
the whole book he’s using his OWN interpretation of the world to explain literally everything, not knowing that his introduction into the world changed it so fundamentally that his prior knowledge of it is less than useless. he’s like “binghe is being sweet to me because binghe is sweet to people that wronged him before repaying their slight a thousandfold, and he only adds their acceptance of his sweetness to his tally of their sins!! i have to run away forever or he’ll tear my arms and legs off!!!!!!” and binghe in reality is like “wow the love of my life my beloved shizun is scared of me still :( i should act sweet and nonthreatening so he’s not scared of me :(“ and he literally doesn’t have this corrected until the end of the book. but even when that one thing is corrected he still is like “haha okay but these other six things-“ bro……. cucumber bro………….. you homosexualized the world just accept it
He examines the entire reality he's isekai-ed into as if it's still fictional and his inner monologue ignores any "character trait" of the people around him that doesn't fit into his perception of "canon" despite everything he's done to change reality from the canon of the novel he first read. He routinely mislabels his own emotions as well as making heteronormative assumptions about himself and the people around him before he finally realises he's in reciprocated gay love with a man. It's a book that benefits being read twice, so the second time around you can focus on the implications Shen Qingqiu blatantly misses.
Transmigrates into a novel he “hates,” assumes he’s doing a good job pretending to be the character whose body he got stuck in, assumes other characters will stick to their original paths. Lotta assumptions, lots of rationalizing, lots of incredible feats of misunderstanding/misinterpreting things. His internal narration is also hysterical.
Lemony Snicket Propaganda:
(I would like to preface this by saying that Lemony Snicket is the author's pen name, not a real person, and he exists as a character in-universe as well as being the one in-universe who writes the books!) I'd say he's unreliable because he spent time collecting information about the Baudelaire kids and then... wrote books about it. He has no idea what any of their dialogue actually was, what they were thinking, or even the whole plot, he's just doing research into the incidents and then filling in the gaps to make it a story. What ACTUALLY happened to the Baudelaires? Nobody really knows for sure
While the Baudelaire siblings are in potentially life threatening danger, he will randomly start talking about his own life and just leave the siblings hanging. For example, once Count Olaf was threatening to kill Violet, and then Lemony randomly began talking about how he met the love of his life at a costume party. This man CANNOT stay on topic. Usually when a new character is introduced, Lemony tells us right at the start that they’re either going to die or that the Baudelaire siblings will never see them again. Foreshadowing is not subtle in these books. CONSTANTLY emphasizes how miserable he feels while writing these books. At one point he admits that he had to put his pencil down and go cry for a while because of how sad it made him. Once he filled an entire page with nothing but the word “ever” to emphasize how dangerous it is to put forks in electrical outlets. He also repeated a paragraph about deja vu later on in the book to give the reader deja vu.
BRO???
how do i make a milf i have literally no idea-
welp folks that's gonna be it for today, i tried (also i forgot it should be partially based on me and now the result has nothing to do with my appearance lmao)
no idea who to tag, whoever sees this is free to join- btw, lita, i'd love to be in a movie w you too :)
Let's all be in a TV show!!!
> Do this quiz
> do this picrew (Based on urself + quiz answers)
> tag ppl
> profit.
Tags (/nf ofc):
@mxlilly @circus-of-horror @yourleastfavoriteguyinthechair @microsoupmouse @the-firefly-jar-system @punkrockinchair @theplushiesystem @coded-pup @florasolarsystem + ANYONE else who wants to join
@accidentallylita
Fun fact about you, the person reading this:
You just lost the game
moxie mallahan//the reporter
She stopped typing and reached into the band of her hat for a small card, which she gave to me to read.
MOXIE MALLAHAN. THE NEWS.
“The News,” I repeated. “What’s the news, Moxie?”
“That’s what I’m trying to find out,” she replied, and typed a few more words.
Relationship status: single... like, permanently
Favourite color: for show purposes, green (real answer: I, for the life of me, cannot pick favorite things)
Song stuck in my head: Dead Girl Walking from Heathers: The Musical
Favourite food: same as with the color, but I’ll say soup or salad or pasta or tea or something (do drinks count??)
Last song played: well... it wasn’t really me who played it but Dancing Queen (at a party I just came back from)
Dream trip: another one I don’t know how to answer, so I’ll remain with what I said last time and give the vague answer of “somewhere where I could meet my online friends”
Last thing I googled: Cyprus localization (wanted to see where Cyprus was compared to the African North to see something)
and I can’t think of ten people to tag so I’ll also leave it open for anyone who wants to join :)
Thanks for tagging me @emyn-arnens!
Rules: Tag 10 or more people you want to get to know better
Relationship status: Single
Favorite color: Red, currently. it changes a lot
Song stuck in your head: Sucker by the Jonas Brothers
Favorite food: Frozen raspberries
Last song played: The Ball from Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812
Dream trip: Georgia to visit some close friends of mine
Last thing I googled: dream of the rood
No-pressure tags: @flanneryculp @accidentallylita @wigilda @lesbian-in-leather @hopefullystillliving @tilions
”You don’t lug a typewriter around for years without growing a few muscles, Snicket.”
- Moxie Mallahan, Why Is This Night Different From All Other Nights? One of my favorite characters from Lemony Snicket’s All the Wrong Questions series, which I just finished reading. The ending was really sad and dark and excellent. Snicket’s work doesn’t have nearly enough fanart, so I thought I’d amend that.
Moxie Mallahan is the last journalist in Stain’d-By-The-Sea, a town that used to be on the sea until the sea dried up to save the Ink industry, but now that’s dried up too and if Lemony Snicket and his associates don’t do something, so will the town. Moxie is Snicket’s first associate and pretty much was alwasy my favorite. I have a soft spot for newsies.
I play to do three more of these; one for Ellington, one for Snicket, and one for Hangfire.
I was just casually rereading Coraline and I noticed THIS 🤩
now they ARE connected, you can't convince me otherwise 😌
He even read it out loud *^*
Found this post in the ATWQ tag (hi OP! I never interacted with you before, but I’m a Snicket fan from the same country) and would like to highlight that last paragraph- I found it really weird that they literally put “Widdershins” in the translation. Everyone was used to “Andarré” in ASOUE, and any fans that don’t participate in the fandom in English or know his original name because of some incredible coincidence will miss the reference. I don’t know what happened there, but I always thought it was a weird translation choice. Though I already knew who “Widdershins” was, it felt a little... unnatural (?) to read the name there when the rest of the book was in Portuguese.
Omg, I just finished reading When Did You See Her Last? and I’m like. KERBGLA4WEBSFVWALKGB
Widdershins appeared in the end! And he even mentioned a guy named Gustav (could it be Gustav that use to help Monty?). And so many mentions of Kit (and this time they even say her name). And a few mentions of Jacques. <3
And like, is the Bombinating Beast the Great Unknown??? I can’t stop thinking about the books now. XD I’m making a lot of theories.
So good. c:
OMG GUYS. WHAT IF WE SAW BEATRICE SOMEDAY ON ALL THE WRONG QUESTIONS??????
Need the third book like… Now. ;w;
(One thing I have to complaim though, it’s not from the book itself. But from the portuguese translation of it. Here on Brazil during The Grimm Grotto, Captain Widdershins is named Capitão Andarré. So when he appeared on the book and wasn’t called Andarré I was like… Who is he???? But them he mentioned the submarine, and I googled what is his official english name. And them… I realized it. And started freaking out! xD)
how did on earth dewey pronounce that
woevember is coming!
what is it?
woevember is an asoue fanwork event week, that will take place from november 13th through november 19th, 2022. each day of that week is dedicated to a different group of characters from a series of unfortunate events and all the wrong questions.
what do i do?
the character groups will be revealed now, so everyone has time to make something. between now and the week of november 13th, you’ll create fanworks about the characters, and then post it on the corresponding day during november 13th - 19th!
don’t forget to tag this tumblr (asouefanworkevent) in the post so i can find it and reblog it, and tag the post with #woevember !
what do you mean by fanwork?
everything! fanfic and fanart are of course allowed, but also edits, gifs, analysis posts, even just headcanons!! super short fics!! your sketchiest drawings!! i want people to be encouraged to and be able to create even something small that didn’t exist before for the snicketverse, and share it with other people!
are there any rules?
to keep the event open and comfortable for everyone, no explicit content. also, this should go without saying, but in case it doesn’t, sibling romance and age gaps are not allowed and will not be tolerated.
do i have to make something for every day?
only if you want to! feel free to just make something for one day if you want :) the point of having a different character group for each day is so everyone’s favorite character (or a character you like or find interesting) will hopefully come up at some point, so everyone’s covered, and you can at least make something for one of the days.
what are the prompts?
i tried to get a good mix of characters we already love a lot, and characters who you might not have thought about before!
november 13th – sugar bowl gen siblings
the best siblings. the worst siblings. they’re going through a lot, at all times. “the schism has turned many brothers into enemies.”
character options include: snickets, denouements, anwhistles, calibans, sebalds
november 14th – firestarters
what makes a “firestarter”? (besides needing to find seven broad categories in which to fit many, many characters.)
character options include: olaf, esme, the bald man, fernald, the henchperson, the white-faced women, the man with a beard but no hair, the woman with hair but no beard (also related characters, like ernest, georgina, olivia)
november 15th – the city
there is so much in The City! and so much with a deep vfd history, that every aspect of the city must’ve crossed paths with vfd or the baudelaire’s story at some point, in some way.
character options include: jerome, eleanora, geraldine, esme squalor’s fanclub, honestly anyone you would like to stick in a specifically City location
location options include: the punctilio, the banking district, the herpetological society, the hemlock tearoom and stationery shop, the taxi, the opera, the fountain of victorious finance, 667 dark avenue, veblen hall, orion observatory
november 16th – unseen characters
there’s plenty of characters we hear about in the series, but never actually really see. give us your takes on them!
character options include: lemony’s editor, the snicket parents, olaf’s parents, haruki, the baudelaire’s uncle elwyn, madame dilustro, gina sue, whoever beatrice and bertrand invited to their dinner parties besides mr. poe, moxie’s mother, ellington’s mother, violet’s friend ben, lemony’s friend playing the sonata on the pipe organ in the cathedral of the alleged virgin
november 17th – stain’d-by-the-sea
what becomes of stain’d-by-the-sea and all the people still living there, after lemony leaves? what happens to wade academy? what happens to ellington?
character options include: moxie, pip, squeak, jake, cleo, kellar, ornette, lizzie, ellington, prosper lost, stew, the mitchums, the talkie brothers, any character from 13SI (theodora can also be included here)
november 18th – the unfortunate generation
what are they up to, post-canon? or what were they up to, pre-canon?
character options include: violet, klaus, sunny, duncan, isadora, quigley, fiona, carmelita, friday, the second beatrice
november 19th – free space!
is there a character you want to make something for that didn’t necessarily fit in these categories? (and my deepest apologies for who didn’t. the duchess? miranda? ishmael? the islanders? widdershins? hector? the village of fowl devotees? jacquelyn? larry? phil? beatrice and bertrand, technically????) is there a character you wanted to do but you didn’t like the group they were in? (you’d rather talk about esme outside of her relation to the firestarters?) do you want to do something centered on a ship? (lemony/beatrice/bertrand? dewey/bertrand? kit/beatrice? violet/isadora? jacques/jerome? olivia/jacques? beatrice/bertrand? monty/gustav? sally/r?) put it here!
can i do ships for other days?
you absolutely can! i’m just giving options in the free space.
can i include other characters that aren’t a part of the group set for each day?
yes, as long as the major focus of the work is still on the designated group! for example, for sugar bowl gen siblings, you could definitely make something about, say, beatrice interacting with the snicket siblings, as long as the focus of the work is still on the snicket siblings. or, for stain’d-by-the-sea, you could definitely write about those characters interacting with vfd characters, or the unfortunate gen, or even mr. poe, as long as the focus of the work is still on the stain’d-by-the-sea characters.
if you have any questions about anything, feel free to drop me an ask or a message!
happy creating and i hope to see lots of you november 13th - 19th!!
Maybe I'm just a sentimental fool but sometimes I think too hard about the Baudelaire's parents, and all their peers in VFD before the schism, even Olaf, going on missions together and gathering for dinners and defending each other in fights and bickering during a stakeout and my entire brain just goes :(
Olaf putting out fires and doing good work with Jacques and Kit and the others. The others listening to him play piano (because genuinely? He was good at it in the show.) Lemony being everyone's collective friend that constantly needs to be stopped from starting a soliloquy every time they're out anywhere. Esme being well-intentioned, if a bit egotistical, and using her penchant for blending in with high society to gather important information. Monty bringing his iguana to group meetings sometimes, and teaching certain other members how to take care of his reptiles temporarily when he needed to leave the house for longer periods of time- keeping guest rooms ready in the house. Beatrice inventing a way to patch up Lemony's typewriter when he drags it along on a mission and it gets damaged. Kit and Olaf using empty safe places to slack off a little and relax in-between missions, when they need a moment to take things less seriously. Group musical theatre nights. Beach visits. Theme park attendance. Vacations, even.
Thinking about them all together, bonded by good intentions, shared secrets and common interests kills me inside </3
I’m going to LOSE my shit Webb took some pictures of Jupiter and………………………….
"You're so nice" ok well bites you bites you bites you bites you
It’s just hard for me to imagine what happens next. What? What happens after liking each other. It feels like this is a big deal. Like I should have some sort of great determination. It’s scary to think that if we start things… it might make things difficult for both of us. Are you getting married? Why are you taking this so seriously? Date her and then if it doesn’t work out, you can just end things. With this person, I can’t start anything with the mindset that it won’t last. So you think it won’t last? No, I don’t think that! Go, then. You have your answer. Go? Go.
EXTRAORDINARY ATTORNEY WOO (2022)
was going through my asoue tag yesterday (of posts i’ve reblogged, not my own posts) and found the post about klaus thinking even years later that he should’ve done something to help uncle monty and prevent his death and how important and heavy and terrible that guilt is and i was reading my tags on it and wanted to make them into a bigger post bc like, this really is heartbreaking, and so is reptile room in general
reptile room is such an important book!! bad beginning sets up olaf and his desire for the baudelaire fortune (and general abuse), but reptile room is the one that creates the set up for the rest of the books – new guardian (or new circumstances), olaf eventually appears – and is the first time it happens!! the kids go from suddenly losing their parents, to getting olaf, who’s a terrible, abusive person, to then getting a new guardian, who’s, nice. monty is still, incredibly misguided and a well-meaning but ultimately useless adult, because he doesn’t recognize olaf and focuses more on the herpetological society than baudelaires telling him olaf is a threat, but he’s also still a good person, and he’s the first good, kind, decent person the baudelaires meet after losing their parents.
he gives them their own rooms, with things he knows they’ll like, and he lets them be involved in his life and work and help prepare for the trip to peru. (this is also assuming that peru was not vfd-related, which i don’t think it was.) he makes them feel important and needed for themselves, not for the money they’ll one day have. he gives them a home, a safe place, somewhere they’re cared for, by someone who genuinely cares about them. it’s not like being at home with their parents, because nothing is going to compare to that, but it’s close. especially after living with someone like olaf, who hit klaus, locked sunny in a cage, tried to marry violet. and in no other book do they have the opportunity to be as comfortable and safe and cared for as they are with monty in the reptile room. (josephine’s fear prevents her from really being a parent and connecting with them, sir makes them do child labor, nero doesn’t care about his students and puts the kids in the orphan shack, esme and jerome are, esme and jerome, the vfd village also treats them as child labor, after that they’re on their own and the adults they meet still can’t do anything to really help. even dewey’s offer of the kids staying at the hotel falls flat in the face of, it is a vfd hotel, and even as neutral territory and ‘the last safe place’ it’s never going to be completely safe. the only place they have ever been remotely as safe as they were in their parent’s house is with monty.)
(and especially in the way that monty isn’t just montgomery montgomery, he’s introduced as uncle monty. it’s unlikely that he really was related to beatrice and bertrand, but he’s considered family.)
and then olaf comes back. and he corrupts that safety, and murders monty.
and it’s like the baudelaires lose their parents all over again. but this time, it was supposed to be different!! because before, when the fire killed their parents, they weren’t home, they were at briny beach. but now!! this time they were home!! this time they were there!! they were with a guardian who was family and like a parent and supposed to protect them, and the baudelaires could protect him, too!! and they were there when monty was murdered and just didn’t know!!! this kind of loss wasn’t supposed to happen again but it did! of course klaus would still think even years and years later that he should’ve done something, because he feels directly responsible for this loss that wasn’t, by any stretch of the imagination, supposed to happen a second time!!
and there’s no way he could’ve possibly changed anything about how it played out. olaf would’ve murdered monty eventually no matter what, because monty was in his way, and olaf was always going to do it in a way no one could interfere with. even if klaus had called out to the taxi driver to take olaf away when he arrived as stephano, likely nothing would’ve happened. but klaus’ survivors guilt exists and stays with him because it’s a horrifying loss that he blames himself for, because he was there, and monty was alive and then he wasn’t, and there’s proof this time, there’s a body this time, there’s a house that remains that didn’t burn down that klaus was in, monty’s possessions are left behind, his peaches are still there, such tangible things that only reinforce what was lost and wasn’t supposed to be lost this time. klaus is twelve years old and just lost his parents and then lost the only other adult who could’ve come close to them. (and it’s not going to stop there, but how this loss functions first in bb/rr specifically is pivotal)
and that trauma never stops! ideally he should know better as an adult, that it was never his responsibility to save monty, or his parents, and there was nothing he could do, but he still thinks it was because they were so close and so similar. it’s heartbreaking that even some time later klaus can’t stop re-imagining what he could’ve done differently
Relationship status: Single, as always
Favourite colour: Cannot possibly decide, but when I have to give an answer, it’s green. Or yellow.
Favourite food: I’m really bad at choosing favorite things. But I really enjoy any type of soup and salad.
Song stuck in my head: Strawberry Fields Forever, by The Beatles. I keep singing out of nowhere. Your Existence by Wonstein too.
Last thing I googled: The translation of a Latin phrase
Time: 01:27 (or 1:27 AM)
Dream trip: Not sure... there are many places I’d like to go to (although traveling to Peru with friends has been a dream for many years now- and recently, I added “traveling someplace in the world where I could meet my online friends” to that list).
Something I want: To publish a book some day- oh, and have at least one small role in a movie/television show at some point in my life.
Thanks for tagging me :)
Don’t know anyone else to tag, though, sorry.
starting a new post so it won't be so horrible long
Rules: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better.
i got tagged by @how-to-be-a-hero tysm bestie<3
Relationship status: single
Favourite colour: darkblue and darkgreen
Favourite food: sushi
Song stuck in my head: Maybe you're the problem by Ava Max
Last thing I googled: nevermoor thai cover
Time: 7 am.
Dream trip: australia
Something I want: to keep the contact with my friends after changing school
no pressure tags: @belle-the-mess @idiot---witch @queen-fenestra @niamhous @iyahpostsstuff @neherandunasflor @necromancers-incorporated @frey-the-they @okay-hamlet @queercodedcadence