Finally

reverse rant

(Yup, it’s that time again…)

There’s no use pretending that the JSE community isn’t going a little sideways at the moment, at least here on Tumblr anyway, and I’m not presumptuous enough to assume that me adding my thoughts to the proverbial dumpster fire will solve anything. But I’ve sat by and watched the flames get higher for a few weeks now, and I think it’s high time I get this off my chest.

The “tea” blog is a flawed idea, yes. We can all acknowledge this. Anyone can go and anonymously spread misinformation or fear, and that’s not helpful. But a lot of the anons on the blog are also just concerned members of the fandom who don’t feel safe to speak out otherwise, and that’s scary, guys. People in our community can’t or won’t speak up because of the PMA Police jumping down their throats about “spreading negativity” when really, we do need a chance to clear the air. That blog’s existence is proof enough of that.

So allow me to be honest: I haven’t felt connected to the community really since Sean’s break last year. The things that I loved most about the Tumblr side of the community was the theorizing and the inside jokes and, yes, the positivity. It seemed like this community, among others, stood out as one that stuck together and encouraged one another. But recently? There’s been nothing to theorize about (Ego content, gaming content, or otherwise). The inside “jokes” have gone on too long and many weren’t even that funny to begin with. And the most depressing of all? Friends of mine have been harassed because they shared their honest feelings about Sean’s changes to the channel. Others don’t feel comfortable voicing their opinions at all. All because of this forced mentality that if we pretend everything is fine, eventually it will be. But that’s only going to put more and more strain on things.

Let people feel how they feel. That’s the main idea behind PMA. Feel distant from the community. Feel sad to see the channel change. Feel a little wary if you want to. But don’t resort to going anonymously on a blog that has said they don’t really care about this community. Speak to friends and fellow members. Get those things off your chest to someone you trust and acknowledge them. It’s okay to feel those things. Maybe they’re just temporary. Every community goes through lulls. There have been times where I’ve felt distant from many communities I’ve been a part of, but 9 times out of 10, I’ve come back around to them later on. The same may be the case now.

Or they may be a permanent issue for you, and that’s okay, too. People change and move on. If this community isn’t a place you want to be anymore, it’s not the end of the world. I know that many of us are emotionally attached to the channel and the community, myself included, and it’s hard to entertain the idea that this change might alienate us from something we’ve loved for so long. But there’s always more out there to discover, and you are free and welcome to explore it, no matter what others say. Don’t let them guilt you for leaving.

And if you want to stay, spread real positivity. Spread real kindness. Don’t elbow for attention and validation by being “the most positive” or “the most devoted.” That’s a cult, my friends. Cult-fandoms sicken me. There is no room for new people. There is no room for open discussion. And there is no room for an actual community. Make no mistake, I am not saying we’re already there. But if we keep traveling down this road of jealousy and finger-pointing and censoring, people are going to leave and never come back and the best days will be far, far behind us. And I don’t want to see that happen.

Instead, just be genuine. That’s something I think our community is lacking right now: genuineness. Be honest and allow others to be honest as well. Decide to stay because you want to, or allow yourself to step back if you need to. Personally, I’m taking a step back. I’m going to allow some time to pass to see if my interest returns. I’m not going to follow as many JSE blogs as closely. I’m not going to watch videos unless I really want to. I will continue writing the Egos because I do genuinely enjoy that, and my slice of the community here around my blog is still a ray of sunshine in my life. The people I have here are why I’m still posting at all, and I want to keep posting for them. And I’m not going to feel bad about it. This is how I choose to enjoy something that is made for enjoyment. And it’s okay.

For anyone who wants to talk, get some things off your chest or whatever, my DM’s are always open. I promise that this blog is and always will be a safe space for you guys, and I thank you all for being so kind and so fun. I really do love this little corner of the community we have here, and I want to keep it together. That’s why I say these things, not to start drama but to clear the air. And that’s all I’ve got!

Stay gold, cutie pies.

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