Imagine How Clean You Could Get In The Shower If You Were A Skeleton

NSFW now means Not Safe For Wealth

"your days are numbered" yes that is quite literally how the calendar system works

patreon.com/shencomix

maybe i should post at all

The whole “make a monster version of a regular animal by prefixing its name with a scary word” bit doesn’t really work with birds because bird names are just Like That. Tell me I’m going up against a blood horse and I’ll grant that this would probably scare me, but a blood raven, well, that’s just a guy. I am 100% prepared to believe there’s an actual bird species by that name.

Adventure: Enter the Vivlioklasm 

“I’ll tell you something for nothing” said the old wizard, leaning back in her well worn reading chair. “ The power of our station is gained through the acquisition of knowledge and cultivated through understanding. Archmage Jovenal never understood the later, and it led him and the dozens of fool apprentices that chased his horde to the same sad fate. Trapped like a begger in a golden tomb: surrounded by all they could ever want, but with no way to use it.” 

Setup: Rumors among knowledge seekers  and bibliophiles speak of an infinite library, A scriptographic cornucopia  somewhere in the astral plane that contains every though ever consigned to page. Those venturing across planer barriers in search of a multi-dimensional archive invariably return disapointed, having found what amounts to the back room of an ill-managed bookshop, distorted in scale until it reached the size of a city, complete with districts, castles, slums and canals all full of muchabused volumes.  The place is a maestrom of loose pages and flying volumes, constantly being piled and repiled in different configurations. 

Said to contain coppies of every text to have ever existed, the Viivliokasm contains no accurate maps, guides, or filing systems, with volumes tossed about randomly, buried beneith mountians of other mismatched texts, or used as some architectural flourish in the city’s ever changing layout. Most astral explorers know that finding a useful tome, let alone a singular instance of a DESIRED tome is impossible and leave the search to the immortal and foolishly overambitious. 

Adventure Hooks:

Working for a loremaster, the party seeks a book of prophecies that can help them to evade a great disaster. Entering into the most dangerous dungeon they’ve ever delved, their sacrifices and trials come to naught as the tome in question has rotted away into barely legible scraps. Knowing that there is one last “hail Ioun” option, the loremaster equips them with a tracking spell and sets them on a path towards a portal to the Vivlioklasm

A lich and an angel have taken up residence in neighboring boroughs of the book-made city, intent on bringing order to the chaos. The two rivals send minions to steal volumes to one anotehr as they work on increasingly elaborate ( and non-compatible) filing systems. Can the players break the stalemate, or perhaps even negotiate a peace between the two?  it may be only a drop in the bucket, but in a few millennia their organization may turn the Vivlioklasm into a usable resource.

By Chance, the party comes into possession of an absolute rarity, a magically enhanced map that charts the location of a series of valuable books and the shifting hallways that hide them. Sadly, these hallways lay in “the burning stacks”, which is where the arcane servitors that maintain the Vivlioklasm place those books that invariably catch fire in the sprawling chaos of the libric-city. As the books themselves are astral constructs, they don’t completely burn away, instead piling atop one another as kindling in an everburning cathedral reminiscent of something out of hell. Coincidentally, the party acquires the map from a group of demonic cultists. could they have competition in retrieving these rare volumes?  

Keep reading

After over a year of work, it's finally here: my biggest (and I think best) project ever, the cultist class!

Note: This is a preview of the class. You can access the full version by pledging to me on patreon or you can also purchase the PDF directly via dmsguild!