Theghostofacookie - Theghostcookie

there are a lot of things that make the locked tomb series so appealing, like yeah lesbians with swords, bones, deeply fucked up and compelling dynamics etc, but fundamentally possibly the most enticing aspect of it is the sheer amount of pathetic women in it. we are living in an age of DROUGHT of pathetic women in media; the Girlboss trope, in its most stereotypical and mind-numbingly basic interpretation, reigns supreme. the female silly little meow meow is ENDANGERED. but not in the locked tomb series! in fact there are several of them here and they’re all pathetic in different special ways, which doesn’t prevent them from also being badasses and strong, skilled fighters, but CRUCIALLY they are also losers!! and that’s what makes them so great!!!! like we have the self-sacrificing butch lesbian jesus-figure with a hole in her chest and the most pathetic case of Simping in history, canonically known as the ‘saddest girl in the universe’, the evil stick feral kitten lesbian nunlet with a bone fetish that everyone for some reason is obsessed with (no actually it’s understandable), the super tall ghost-looking ‘problematic’ lesbian with a bone arm who loves to cause problems on purpose, her even taller and more insane twin sister and her deeply repressed constantly half-dead crush who’s pretty much always having the worst time out of everyone in a series where everyone is always having the worst time. oh and of course the eldritch horror dressed up as a barbie doll

Wretched voice in my head telling me to make an absurdly complicated tactical TTRPG where every character class is managing multiple unique mechanics and juggling four or more resources. Ideally every class takes over ten hours to, like, figure out, and very few of the skills learned transfer from class to class. They should all be capable of immense bullshit if you can figure out how they do what they do and how to optimize your turn structures. The things keeping me from doing this are twofold:

It would take a long long long time to make

It would fucking suck to play

I LOVE SPELLS AND I LOVE TO FUCK

GOTTA SLEEPING CAP ON AND IM IN MY TRUCK

WORK ALL DAY JUST EARNING CENTS

CROSS ME AGAIN AND YOULL GET BENTS

“WIZARD’S RAP!”

The etymology of the interjection pog is so insane like:

1. People are saying "pog" because there is a twitch emote named pogchamp

2. It's called pogchamp because the face of the emote is this guy:

3. who is a youtuber and streetfighter player who made this face on a video because of a production mishap and later won a competition of the game Pog for which he made a video titled "Pog Championship" that featured this face

4. Pog is a game also referred to as "milk caps" where you stack disks and slam your disks into your opponent's stack to disrupt them. They look like this:

5. The game is called pog because it is commonly played with novelty bottle caps from a drink also called POG

6. The drink is called POG because it's an initialism for its ingredients passion fruit, orange, and guava

7. Passion fruit is native to South America and got its name because Portuguese missionaries used its five-part shape as an allegory for Jesus's stigmata to explain the crucifixion of Christ to the Brazilian natives

8. The word passion comes from the Latin patior which means "I suffer" in reference to the suffering of Christ on the cross

9. The Indo-European root of patior has been reconstructed as *peh- "to hurt" which is cognate with English fiend

Footnotes on foes: Eldrazi

Hey DMs, do you need an unfeeling aberrant force to threaten your campaign world at various scales but don’t want to use mindflayers? Bored of lovecraftian knockoffs threatening to drown reality in abstract but unspecified “madness”? Well have I got the monster for you friends, It’s the Eldrazi: an unknowable and all consuming horde that’s here to reduce your setting to nothingness.

I’ve always had a fondness for the Eldrazi after they originally debued in magic the gathering, alien beings that sap all life from their surroundings and seem to have no other aims beyond the total and complete obliteration of whatever world they happen to dwell on. (plus they have a super cool look, and in the end isn’t that what matters?)

Eldrazi have a lot of mystery surrounding them, but in trying to puzzle them out I came up with my own headcanon that was too good not to use.  Below the cut I’ll go into detail on how I think the eldrazi function, and how you can best use them in your campaigns.

TLDR: The eldrazi are the great decomposers of the multiverse, reducing dead worlds down into their base components, and then into dust to be reabsorbed by the cosmic cycles of the astral sea. A perfectly natural process, but one that can go catastrophically wrong should the eldrazi be drawn to a world that has not yet died as they often are by witless dabblers or disruptions to those same astral currents. When they end up on a world they’re not supposed to be they end up creating wastelands, fighting against nature like an infection.  

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req’d by @plaguerightsactivist

aw beans

imagine how clean you could get in the shower if you were a skeleton

I never understood why "Sucks dick" means "Thing nobody likes" should be the polar opposite "This meal is so good, it sucks dick!" You know? OH SHIT