Therealestmallet - Love My Cat So Much

Duty. I must boop. I have no clue what it means or what it does but it’s a button and I have to press it.

(I will boop everyone who reblogs this post, for the record 💖)

the dentist makes me feel like a whore. they open me wide and jam their fingers and toys into me, they tell me to bite down, they call me good and obedient. it’s sexually charged s’what it is.

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Got 5 pages of my essay written in one hour god is real

Every morning for breakfast I eat the goop I can get you a recipe if you want it has like 69 protein and 300 calories

they should make a meal that appears whenever you want to eat it and it doesn't take effort to make and is nutritious and filling and it never goes bad if you leave it in your fridge for a long time and never gets too dry or soggy or otherwise textureweird if you eat slowly and when you're done it automatically cleans off the plate so you don't have to do the dishes and also it should be free

in case you haven't thought about switching to firefox yet, here's an extension that will...

Notify you if a website you're on has employees that are on strike

Bypass paywalls for major news outlets like the New York Times

Change the browser theme based on the time of day

Directly install third party non-extension scripts

Save individual browser sessions to be reopened at any time

Use the TV format of YouTube in-browser

Make all chrome extensions compatible with Firefox

Turn YouTube dislikes back on

Fix Twitter and make it way less fucked up

Automatically remove trackers from URLs

And many more!

Feel free to add any other firefox extensions you think are slept on.

my parents almost named me altoid

fuck it, naming my kid Yarlf. just really getting gross with it.

Ppl be like “it’s too early/late to nap” I am simply closer to God than you. You are just incapable of understanding.

Wizards WISH they could have my alchemical knowledge. Fire ball this and that blah blah blah I cast Molotov cocktail. That doesn’t work? Staff of molten metal spark shower.