Latest Posts by thewillywonka - Page 7

When you ran away from home and your dad wasn't there when you went back how did you survive like what did you do? Where did you stay after that?

I didn't have any nearby family where I used to live, so temporary housing with relatives wasn't an option. While browsing around the local candy stores one day, I saw a man through a window pulling taffy through a taffy puller. I would visit there frequently, as he would engage me in conversation, give me food and allow me to stay out of the cold. He eventually found out I was homeless and offered me a place in his home. I then studied his candy making process and earned my own money by helping out as a hired stocker and assistant at the store, and that's when I started to create my own concoctions of candies in the back room and at home after school. Over time, I had saved up enough and used that money to invest in opening my own corner candy store, took and passed the Chocolate Manufacturing exam with flying colors, and the rest is history, really.

I hope that you're still coming to the picnic this weekend?

But of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world, dear Edward. ☺️

Ooh, that reminds me! Do I need to bring anything? Cups, cake, drinks, chocolate?

I kinda already baked the cake, I hope you don't mind strawberry fudge whipple delight...topped with whipped cream, heh.

When veruca got attacked by the squirrels were you pretending to look for the key or could you really not find it lol? 🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️

Contrary to popular belief, I seriously couldn't remember which key it was. But I warned her about those squirrels. They can be vicious little suckers and she was a bad nut! A very bad nut...yeah.

You're pretty and I'm gay -

and now I'm going to hide away in embarassment, bye !

Oh, thank you for the compliment!

How do you know all the Oompa Loompas names if they all look alike?

Families that have twin children would know which kid is which, right? Same concept. They may look identical but they each have very unique personalities.

Let's keep pumping out the chocolate!

Good morning, folks! Rise and shine, wipe the boogers from your eyes! It's show and tell time! ✨

You guys ever had chocolate soda? No? Then you're in luck!

Behold! The Berry Berry room. This very room is specially designed for soda pop creations beyond the wildest flavors. Everything from Root Beer to Chocolate Berry Blast. Which just so happens to be the new flavor we're still processing through our machine.

The Export and Float machine (above) fills every 12 oz bottle up with some of Wonka's magic ingredients!

But as you can see, we've tried it at least two hundred times and every bottle of soda came out a bit differently. In wonky shapes and sizes. So this is still in the works.

But with every trial and error, we've gotten a bit closer to our goal! Putting these babies in every store on every shelf!

That's all for now from the factory.

More updates to come soon! Til then.

- Willy Wonka 🍫

i want you to tie me up and choke me while fucking the shit out of me and smack my ass you sexy piece of white chocolate 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼👅💦👉🏼👌🏼

...............

I think that's enough tumblr for today.

Bye.

Why did you put secret recipe on the secret recipe? You should've known it was gonna get stolen 🙄🤷🏻‍♂️

Quite obviously for the same reason you came to my chocolate factory even though you hate chocolate, you obnoxious mumbling child.

I'm sorry I didn't know I was just taught that when a white man bring people over from a foreign country to his to work it's slavery 😐

You haven't a clue how slavery works, dear. First of all, you have to be a slave to be a slave and slaves they are not. They are happy, healthy, paid and dearly loved Oompa Loompas. Understood? 'Kay? 'Kay. Moving along.

It's slave labor cause the oompa loompas were taken out of their country and now working for you, you know that right??

Of course not! Don't be ridiculous. It's only slave labor when you're taken forcefully and forced to work against your will for no wages. That goes against my code. The Oompa Loompas agreed to come work in the factory because they would be living in better conditions and would have their precious cocoa beans in trade for their work. It was a business agreement, which is the same as a verbal contract. How you could imply such a nonsensical accusation with so much confidence and very little knowledge is entirely beyond me.

You’re cute 💚💚💚

Heh...Mrs. Beauregarde is that you? 🙂

He's still learning how to let go. Heh...

🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫

You really stayed inside your factory for fifteen yrs????? That's so crazy 😯🤔😲

Don't be silly, I went out in search of exotic flavors for new candy ideas numerous times. Fifteen years...pish posh.

Hey. 😊 If you didn't floss your teeth for years how are they still so straight and white?

Hi, Tarrant! I hope you're doing well today!

In addition to brushing daily, I simply created a mint flavored candy, Fiddledummies, to be exact, to whiten teeth! I've had straight teeth for a long time now, due to years of wearing those terrible braces.

And although I do enjoy sweets as much as the next person, luckily for me I'm not silly enough to eat candy every second of every hour of every day, that just can't be good for one's diet.

So that's that. Hm. :)

I like how you embrace different cultures like with the oompa loompas you speak their language, tried their food, and love them and with prince pondicherry you wore indian clothes out of respect and you never antagonized them. A white man who knows what he's doing 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

I appreciate it, but really everyone should be this way. We're all people after all.

Do you have a gf or wife or have you ever dated at all and are you a virgin??

I'm all in your business sorry 🙂🙂🙂

A virgin?! Goodness. You just have a dirty little mind, don't you?

A gentleman never tells.

How do you feel about black lives matter?

Good morning, anon!

Well, myself being someone who has travelled to different parts of the world and experienced various cultures, I think it's a very necessary cause that deserves attention. Racism is a HUGE problem in our society. It's extremely important to educate yourself on the topics of social injustice, and especially racism, as to not repeat it. I actually will be donating a sum of $2,000,000 to several BLM fund raisers and small businesses this weekend in aid to end police brutality and keep local businesses flowing.

Fun fact: By the way, did you know that Charlie Bucket, in Roald Dahl's book, was originally black and was also supposed to be a black kid in the movies? It's a shame the producers thought "making the hero black" was unacceptable, but changing him because of racial intolerance was somehow more socially acceptable. It's ludicrous, really.

🙊

Isn't it past your bedtime, little girl? 😒

What do you like to eat besides candy. I’ve always wondered if you ever ate anything besides sweets 👀

Surely you didn't assume that I eat candy for every meal, my dear?

I enjoy steak, fish and vegetables quite often. Turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce are a favorite. Tropical fruits too. Oh, and popcorn! Except that's kind of a hassle to eat, those little kernels can be so darn annoying!

But can you imagine the state my health would be in if I ate candy every day? That's a horrible idea.

You should build restaurants inside the factory for the Oompa loompas like McDonald's or something xD

No I should not! Do you have any idea what's in McDonald's burgers? They chop up little aborted fetuses and serve them to YOU in their food. Ew.

Good morning, people!

I want to quickly show you guys something new inside the factory!

This is the Space and Underwater room! How many of you believe in aliens? I hope you do, because we've perfectly constructed anti gravity delicacies, called Moon Pies, that we're going to send straight into orbit, allowing any aliens out there with a sweet tooth to eat to his or her fill. And that way, if the sweet is eaten, we'll know whether or not extraterrestrial life forces exists. Brilliant, no?

Now, these big white balls attached to the ceiling above the Oompa Loompas' heads are organic moon replicas, made from crystalized particles, Himalayan salt and Alpaca fiber. They're used to collect any goop or DNA from any aliens that eat the pies off 'em. We've also set up a big pair of binoculars to see if we capture any activity.

Oh, and check this out, this is one of the neatest things. This is the Underwater Simulator, it serves the same purpose as the Space Simulator and Moon Pies, except its job is to lure otherworldly marine vessels into our line of vision, see if they like chocolate.

You just simply dunk a person, or in this case an Oompa Loompa, into the water and they can scuba their little bodies around while collecting data. Yeah.

Though it's a latest and greatest idea still in the works, if successful, I'll be the first chocolatier in the world to document extraterrestrial life! Ha, can you just imagine?!

How old are you we wanna know? #questionsthatkill 😭

I found a silver hair, how old would you consider me to be? That's the big question, my dear.

How do you feel about Timmy playing you in the new Willy Wonka movie?

I'm delighted for Timmy! I congratulate him on the role! I'm sure he will do my story justice!

This gives me the chills. 🌨️

"Surviving Willy Wonka is an American horror movie created by Tim Burton and is the sequel to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Six years into the future, a whimsical candy-making killer with an unknown motive for luring his adolescent victims inside his chocolate factory opens his doors up to the public once again. But this time, tourists won't leave."

Daddy wonka

I just joined and your the second person I followed 😂

Oh.... Why wasn't I the first? 😒

I love you Willy! 😚❤️❤️❤️

Oh, thank you! Nice gif.

Hey there, Where do the Oompa Loompas sleep???

Ah, good question! The Oompas Loompas have a very special room within the factory where they sleep, specially designed to resemble their country of origin (minus the Whangdoodles, Snozzwangers and Hornswogglers, of course). While they sleep in shifts, the rest are wide awake concocting new creations, singing and being rather mischievous. They certainly can be a handful..