Latest Posts by threerats-inatrenchcoat - Page 6

I got my new class schedule!

Registering absolutely sucked because freshman get to pick last so everything filled up, and to go and top it off it didn’t open until 12 am!!

You hear singers and guitarists with your ears but you hear bass lines with your heart so don’t go telling me bassists aren’t important

i fuckin love sitting. if a task that’s traditionally done standing can also be done sitting? my ass is on the ground. my legs are cris-crossed. my knees are apple-sauced. my shoulders are hunched. my posture is a shrimp-like abomination. i love it. i love sitting. i love every single fucking filthy thing about it.

I love going on late night drives with my roommate :3

It gives me a chance to think

new crochet project

I decided to try and make a skirt for the first time and it’s actually working, when I finish it I’ll post the pattern link for it :3

I’ve decided to start going on my walks after classes again and omg does it feel good. I did have to take a bit of a break to go charge my phone since it was at 8 percent lol

after walk snack-

made good granola bar 100cal

mamma chia 70 cal

forgot to post this yesterday lol

Breakfast: skipped

Lunch

Broccoli 20

Steak teriyaki 120

Rice 110

Dinner: skipped

Total 250

fuck summer i want it to be dark and misty and frigid and october

little update

I started a water fast for the week to drop a few pounds right, so i was only drinking water, taking my daily vitamins, and having a few strawberries. But that couldn't keep up with my body and what i was doing, so while i was at a carnival with my boyfriend and some of our friends, i ended up fainting at one point then getting insanely nauseous. Which honestly in the long run helped me get out of eating at the carnival because theres really no way of seeing how many calories are in carnival food, so win lose i guess. i feel bad because i worried my boyfriend over nothing, all he asked of me was that i took a little break for the rest if the day from my fast to eat some fruit and sip on a juice box. At the most i think that was about 25 extra calories and seeing as I've barely been hitting my calorie restriction (which is 500) and at the time i was only at 85, i think it was ok to take a break for the moment. Ill be back at it tomorrow though.

Your fifth most recent emoji is what your soulmate thinks about you

iegiuaehruiogh

who knew that waiting till the last minute to do over 4 assignments for a class was a bad idea... me :| haha kill me lol

Update: this was months ago and we broke up.. I broke things off after he wasn’t respectful of my boundaries after multiple chances. On the bright side I’m in a much happier and healthier relationship with someone that does respect my boundaries

holy shit

guys I’m literally freaking out, just for some context I’m a senior in high school and have been in a committed almost 3 year relationship. And this dummy texts me “wouldn’t it be so silly if I proposed to you while your in uni” and I say back “if you doo, wait till after freshman year as that’ll be my most stressful year” wtf like I know I wanna be with him forever but like, what if he’s joking? I don’t think I can that that

.

Bio update

guys I just realized that I never updated my account bio lol, I just fixed it. The only things fixed were my age (I’m 18 now woop!), and that I’m now a freshman in college!

This is actually accurate lol

i made a generator for yall to see what ur genders are

people are always like “are you a morning person or a night person” and I’m just like buddy I’m barely even a person

mannn

everyone around me brags about going through a pod in a week or less and I’m over here hitting it when I can and I don’t make a single dent in it at all, wtf man. Like yea I can make it last but by the time I do make a dent it’s pretty burnt.

wat

holy shit guys, it feels weird to say this but I’m 18 now. I don’t feel like an 18 year old yet when does it hit lol

Update: of course I post this a week after my birthday, life doesn’t give me time to process on my actual birthday lol

holy shit

guys I’m literally freaking out, just for some context I’m a senior in high school and have been in a committed almost 3 year relationship. And this dummy texts me “wouldn’t it be so silly if I proposed to you while your in uni” and I say back “if you doo, wait till after freshman year as that’ll be my most stressful year” wtf like I know I wanna be with him forever but like, what if he’s joking? I don’t think I can that that

.

hiatus

I’m going to be taking a break from all social media for a bit, I know that this is sudden but I just went through a breakup and need some time to process it all

update

Yay my labs are done so tonight I got to use my new pack of blades:)

Tw sorry lol

man I would love to slit my wrists rn but I can’t since I have to get labs done in a few weeks and I know that they won’t be healed by then. I might just go it on my tights tho but that’s an awkward place to me yk

Tw sorry lol

man I would love to slit my wrists rn but I can’t since I have to get labs done in a few weeks and I know that they won’t be healed by then. I might just go it on my tights tho but that’s an awkward place to me yk

Tw

does anyone else ever feel too numb so they purposely trigger themselves to feel something? I know it’s not healthy but it’s one of the only ways that I feel anything right now.

hi

I’ve learned 2 things tonight. That I shouldn’t combine four of the things that I combined today, and that I regret my decisions- Sorry make that theee things-

Firstly, I hate the taste of The devils lettuces.

Secondly, under no circumstances do not mix the green leaf, nick, an empty stomach, and no sleep together. It does not ent well at all. Trust me lol.

Thirdly, have you ever done so much of something that when you look back at yourself you don’t even recognize who you used to be? I’m thinking back to how I was not even two years ago, and I now don’t know anything about me. But I’m too far in now so I can’t stop. And I know that most of the people in my friend group think of me as the dummy drug addict, but that’s not what I wanna be. I never wanted to end up like this, and I’m genuinely disappointed at myself. Sorry if this doesn’t really make sense, I am incredibly not well rn, in more ways than one lol. Anyway, I truly hate what I’ve become, and like I know what you’re thinking, ‘ just stop doing them if you don’t like it’. But like it’s really hard to stop and now it’s like the people around me just expect that that’s all I do, they assume that if I’m a little off at school then I’m high. ‘Oh they were quiet today- they’re high’ oh you didn’t answer my text earlier- did you get high?’ Like no aly I didn’t do that, i forgot my adhd meds than got so depressed that I was genuinely contemplating and planning out my suicide bitch. I told someone that I care a lot about that I would try to sleep again, but I’m honestly scared that I wouldn’t wake up because I’m pretty sure that I may have almost over done it but idk, ignore that lol. We’ll find out in the morning if I’m alive lol, if I don’t make an update then y’all know why.

Drink water. Water is your best friend

Hi everybody!!! I just really needed to say this please be careful who you talk to on here there's many Groomers/ pedophiles in the ed community especially for us minors here's some things you can do to protect yourself

1. Don't send pictures of yourself to people you absolutely don't know

2. These groomers/pedophiles will disguise themselves as Ed accounts so beware of random accounts texting you

3. If there's anyone who you are associating yourself with starts to make you feel uncomfortable BLOCK THEM!!! I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH

4. These "people" will ask you for personal information private photos etc. And pretend to be your ana coach/buddies and im speaking for experience please by careful I don't want anyone being taken advantage of or even worst.

I thought that I was better

I genuinely thought that I was getting better, that I was moving on from my past. That I wasn’t the same 83 pound ball of depression and suicidal thoughts. But now I can realize that recovery isn’t a liner line, it’s a wave that has high highs and low lows. Some days it’s be a high, while others are a low. I may be depressed and doing things I shouldn’t do, but I’m not starving myself and I’m not cutting myself. And for me that’s a win. Yes I’m hurting in other ways, but I’m not bleeding and I’m not skin n bones anymore. I have scars that show I lived and I’m 105.8 pounds now. Technically I’m still in the bmi underweight category but not by much. I’m at a happy weight. And while yes sometimes I forget to eat, and others I say that I don’t deserve to. That’s all a part of my recovery, it might not be how others recover as each and every person handles things differently. All forms of moving forward- yes even the ups and downs- are a valid form of healing and progress. It shows that you are strong and kicking whatever it is that you are facing in the butt.

Sorry that this was so long, I’m on day three of not sleeping and needed to get this out. Good night or good morning, I hope you all have a lovely time. -3rat

Welp

After the worst fucking day, I just threw 2 weeks down the drain. I was doing so well, and I went and messed it up. i was clean for two weeks then I went and played fruit ninja on my arms. FUCK. I am quite literally a fuck up

I just can’t do anything right anymore. So here is my current mood. Idk what I’m doing anymore, should prolly just die lol. That sounds like a better idea than anything. My bf could do way better, and be way happier with someone who isn’t a fuck up. With someone that he doesn’t have to worry about hurting themselves. Mom and dad don’t care, they’re too busy arguing to be bothered by me. That deserve a happy, non-messed up child.

so if anyone is wondering, I have playlist for when I fuck up. Idk if anyone else does this lol, but here what I got. Damn this post is a mess lol