My Headcanons For Shops In The Hilltop Centre:

"This fic was ai generated—" Cool, so lemme block you real quick

I low-key love the fact that sci-fi has so conditioned us to expect to be hanging out with a bunch of cool space aliens, that legitimate, actual scientists keep proposing the most bizarre, three-blunts-into-the-rotation "theories" to explain the fact we're not.

Some of my favourites include:

Zoo Theory: What if there are loads of aliens out there, but they're not talking to us because of the Prime Directive from Star Trek? (Or because they're doing experiments on us???)

Dark Forest Theory: What if there are loads of aliens out there, but they all hate us and each other so they're all just waiting with a shotgun pointed at the door, ready to open fire on anything that moves?

Planetarium Theory: What if there's at least one alien with mastery over light and matter that's just making it seem to us that the universe is empty to us as, like, a joke?

Berserker Theory: What if there were loads of aliens, but one of them made infinite killer robots that murdered everyone and are coming for us next?!!

Like, the universe is at least 13,700,000,000 years old and 46,000,000,000 light years big. We have had the ability to transmit and receive signals for, what, 100 years, and our signals have so far travelled 200 light years?

The fact is biological life almost certainly has, does, or will develop elsewhere in the universe, and it's not impossible that a tiny amount of it has, does, or will develop in a way that we would understand as "intelligent". But, like, we're realistically never going to know because of the scale of the things involved.

So I'm proposing my own hypothesis. I call it the "Fool in a Field" hypothesis. It goes like this:

Humanity is a guy standing in the middle of a field at midnight. It's pitch black, he can't move, and he's been standing there for ages. He's just had the thought to swing his arms. He swings one of his arms, once, and does not hit another person. "Oh no!" He says. "Robots have killed them all!"

studying isn’t as aesthetic when you have to do it or else you’ll fail your finals

my son who i hate

"genre-savvy" no i want a genre-unsavvy protagonist. scratch that, i want a genre-deluded protagonist.

i want a protagonist who is convinced until the last possible moment that they're in a lighthearted romcom--despite the proliferation of slasher murders. give me a soccer dad who is just so determined to enjoy family vacation, despite the fact the kids summoned an eldritch deity from the lake. a preteen who is experiencing a coming-of-age saga and annoyed their parents aren't emotionally present (the parents are distracted by a literal zombie apocalypse). endless possibilities

uh hi so!

i wrote this webpage that walks u thru looking after yourself when you know a thought is making you spiral. deployed it publicly bc i wanted it on mobile and i thought other people might like it too

check it oot

different version of supernatural where literally nothing changes except for the fact that cas' handprint on dean was on his ass instead of his shoulder

Me after tmagp 1-4: yeah I love the theory that the cases relate and hint to the voices that read them but it’s certainly nothing concrete and too early to say that’s the pattern for sure

Tmagp 5: Chester is reading a case about a guy who was roped into horror from a young age and has become almost dependent on horror stories. This, combined with his fatal flaw of morbid curiosity, led him to fall prey to something called “voyeur” that knew impossible invasive things about him and his past. Oh, what happened to him? Well he became another goddamn mystery, why do you ask?

hey what if I threw up actually

AND HES STATED TO BE A MASSIVE HORROR PERSON TOO

LIKE MY MAN DID NOT GROW UP WATCHING A SHITTON OF HORROR JUST TO REACH THIS LEVEL OF ABSOLUTE IDIOCY

I’m so sorry but Mr Personal Screening may be the biggest dope in tma/tmagp history :/

“I never gave them my address, but they sent me a letter! I’m sure that’s normal!”

“The screening is at the theater my dad and I used to go to that I’m sure shut down! Cool!”

“This theater has only one employee that’s somehow doing every single job at once! Poor guy!”

BRO YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!!!!