Knight Strip Tease. Is That Anything

Random Things Cale Henituse had done Without Context

adopted 14 children in a month

threw money into lava

stole cookies from royalty

scammed a vampire to give him an allowance

ate a rock

set a lake on fire

bribed a prince with poison

impersonated a priest

fed a hobo

stole a tree

dived into a mummy lake

wished to cough blood elegantly

hand-embroidered outfits

served a freaked-out dragon tea

forced a prince to make an MMORPG account

made his enemy wash the dishes

beat up a guy with a rock

fed a tree

commiserated with a god over work-related sleep deprivation

let his kid eat poison

sang creepy hide and seek song

tried to dig a hole in the ground and failed

gave away bones as a present

converted a barbarian with the Power of Friendship

blew up an island (twice)

stripped in front of his bff's uncle

blew up a whirlpool

hugged his arch nemesis

defenestrated a man

got compared to a haystack

strangled a guy with his bare hands

ate a battery

fought a lake

stabbed himself with a stick

...Feel free to keep it going. The weirder and more random the better. Let's see if we can catch all the references lol

Cats getting caught doing crimes

Filled with Static...

Summary: Yuu was already fed up before coming to Playful Land and now that it's over... She has some very choice words for she has reached her boiling point...

Sorry in advance~

Yuu watches with hollow eyes as Fellow and Gidel depart without having to face the consequences of their actions. Everyone jokes around her about what they just went through, but static is rapidly and quickly filling Yuu's ears. She moves away from the group and makes her way down a street, unaware of the sound of footsteps behind her. A hand lands on her shoulder and she's quick to slap it off.

"Ow, rude much?"

Yuu turns to see Ace with his arms crossed. "What?"

"Just wanted to know why you took off like that."

"Why do you care?"

"Wow, jeez." Ace scoffed. "I knew you were snippy from the start, but I thought that would've cleared up. What's the big deal?"

"What's the big deal? What's the big deal!?" Her voice echoes throughout the small area of the docks. "Ace, are you fucking blind as well as a total fucking moron!?" She jabs her hand to where Playful Land used to be. "We almost got turned into puppets and sold off because of you guys!"

"Hey, we got out in the end!"

"No, we didn't. If Fellow hadn't gotten that phone call, we'd be goners." The others have stopped a few feet away, but Yuu ignores them. "And you're cracking jokes about it."

"Well, destroying the park was-"

"I mean about the whole thing, you brainless baboon." She snarls. "From the start, you ignored all the fucking warning signs that said you should stay far away from this man. Did Azul tricking you not ring any bells in that empty head of you?" She tapped her finger against Ace's forehead. "And even when you were told that the warning signs were blaring red, you still ignored them."

"Hold on." Ace growled. "Why am I getting signaled out?"

"Oh it's not just you, Ace." She points behind him. "It goes double for those cacophony of idiots."

"Wow, rude, Yuu-chan..." Cater mutters.

"I get that you guys are like this. It's all fun and games to the ones who can use magic." She shakes her hand in a mocking way. "But this is just another scar on my body that I do not need." She pulls up her sleeves to show the overblot scars...as well as a new wooden looking scar on her wrist. "You guys think this is a joke, when it's not. You're risking my life with your guys shit."

"You came with us!" Ace argues.

"Cause I had to make sure my useless excuse for a fucking cat didn't keel over and die!" Yuu shouts and begins shoving Ace. "You. Treat. Me. Like. I'm. Expendable." She pushes him back. "I'm a living being too, jack ass, what I have done to warrant being treated lower than dirt? Every time this happens, and I almost lose my life in the process... how many more times is this going to be an almost before it actually happens?"

The red head narrows his eyes and snorts. "If you hate it here so much, why don't you just go back home?"

"Ace..." Lilia tries to say but is cut off by Yuu socking Ace in the face and sending him to the ground.

"NEWS FLASH, ASSHOLE!" The look in Yuu's eyes are murderous. "I'VE BEEN TRYING TOO! YOU GUYS CAN JUST CALL UP YOUR FAMILY OR SEND THEM A QUICK TEXT TO CHECK UP ON THEIR WELL BEING! YOU'RE A PORTAL AWAY FROM HOME! I HAVE NOTHING, I GOT NOTHING, I HAVE NO FAMILY HERE AND I AM REMINDED OF IT EVERY DAY BY YOU GUYS AND BY CROWLEY!" Tears well up in her eyes. "I've had it here. I'm gone. I'm leaving NRC, I'm getting far away from you guys." She turns to leave and rubs her eyes. "Enjoy the rest of your fucking lives."

"Yuu-chan!"

"Shrimpy!"

"Herbivore, come back!"

"Potato!"

"Henchhuman!" Grim tries to follow after her only to lower his ears and back up as she shoots the darkest glare she can muster at him. "I'm....I'm..."

Yuu disappears into the morning crowd that had gathered to learn what the commotion was about. She did not return to NRC that day...rather Crewel had found her, curled up outside his temporary house.

"Oh, Pup...." He pulls his coat off, wraps it around the crying young lady, and helps her inside.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry... I’ll be good I promise, I’ll change I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. Please I can’t live without you, you’re my savior, my goddess please don’t throw me away I’ll die without you”

“I hate being alone, it’s so cold here without you. Not being able to see you scares me, I feel so uneasy. I exist for you, I won’t leave this room unless I’m with you, I won’t even talk to anyone b-but you are able to do those without me, because you don’t need me. I can smell other people whenever you come back to this room, I know I have no right to complain about such things but it breaks my heart I can’t help it. I exist for you, I breathe for you, I live for you. This worthless life belongs to you so please keep it, don’t throw it away don’t neglect it”

Twisted Stories Masterpost

Heya, this is going to be a silly little series about Yuu and their friend Finn (by @the-fab-fox) getting in trouble and (hopefully) falling in love with their respective assholes love interests. There's technically a story/timeline but sometimes it is just random slice of life. I hope you'll enjoy it!

Arc 1

1. A Meeting

2. "How to motivate the troops" - A plan by Cater Diamond

3. Two seconds memory

4. Shipnames are hard to create

5. Baking Hell

6. Rule overlooked

7. Suboptimal situation

8. A strange phenomenon

9. Two seconds memory part 2

10. The Forever Question

11. A weird feeling

12. (Coming Soon)

Riddle: You are joking this can't be their dream.

Onsen!Yuu: *Reclined on a fainting couch wearing only translucent silks surrounded by scantily clad women laughing, singing, and eating. The haven of women had a collection of men who had turned to stone.*

Cater: Oh, I get why you like she so much, Trey. The snake hair suits them.

Trey: Everyone cover your eyes.

Please give us more ace marriage proposals

A mysterious pirate crew has offered Whitebeard a ridiculous sum of money for the hand of his second commander, Fire Fist Ace.

The kid loves free booze and food— no reason not to show up, right?

Part 1

*MC had decided to check again the ancient texts Malleus translated, but one in particular caught their eye—strangely, they didn’t remember reading it before.*

Your soul belongs to nowhere.

MC: ...

MC: Strange... the Dark Mirror said these same words when I first came here...

MC: ...

Grim: Hench-human! What are you still doing there?! We're gonna be late for class!

MC: !!!

MC: Y-yeah! Just—just gimme a second!

Crowley: Ah, Prefect! I presume you've come seeking my invaluable counsel?

MC: Yes, headmage. Is it okay?

Crowley: Of course! How may I be of assistance?

MC: ...

MC: Headmage, do you still remember… my first day here?

Crowley: Why, yes! How could I forget? You and Grim caused quite the commotion that day!

MC: Great… Then do you remember what the Dark Mirror said? That my soul belongs nowhere?

Crowley: *sensing their agitation* What’s troubling you, Prefect? Why these questions all of a sudden?

MC: I...

MC: ...

MC: *forced a smile* Never mind, headmage. Maybe I’ve just been... thinking too much about it.

Crowley: Hm... To ease your worries, the Dark Mirror simply meant you don't belong to any dorm, as your soul doesn't align with any of the Great Seven's. This includes the fact that you possess no magic.

MC: Yes. But still...

Crowley: ...

Crowley: Prefect, you should go back to Ramshackle and rest. I'll let your teachers know you need the day off.

MC: ...

MC: *nods* Yeah. I should do that.

Ace: Huh? Where's MC?

Grim: They went back to Ramshackle. *frowns* I wanted to go back too, but Trein and Crewel said no.

Deuce: Well, you have no reason to skip.

Grim: But Hench-human wasn't even sick!

Ace: Yeah, yeah. We get you.

Deuce: We should ask them later to know what happened.

MC: *rechecks the ancient text, only to discover new words that shatter all their hopes*

Death came for you—but your heart still beats. Your lungs still gasp. This place cradles you now, a hollow solace for what you’ve lost. That yearning in your chest? The dream of home? It will never be anything more. You are trapped here.

MC: *tears begin to fall—slow, silent, inevitable—as the truth settles like a stone in their chest*

*Ace, Deuce, and Grim exchanged confused glances why MC hadn't come to open the door yet.*

Ace: Don't tell me they're asleep?

Deuce: It's still quite early for them to do that.

Grim: *pounding the door with both paws* Hey, hench-human! Open up!

Deuce: Oi, Grim!

*The door opens.*

Ace: Ha! Finally! What took you so long—

MC: *their expression empties - not blank, but void - as the sickeningly familiar swirl of overblot begins creeping up their arms*

MC: ...

Ace: Oi... What's going on...

MC: ...

MC: I... don't know... but you have to leave... now...

Grim: Hench-human...?

MC: Grim… there's… there's nowhere for me…

Deuce: This... This is getting bad!

Ace: W-We'll be back! Okay?! We'll call for help!

Deuce: Grim! Stay with the Prefect!

*Ace and Deuce went to get help.*

Grim: ...

Grim: Hench-human...

MC: ...

*Ace and Deuce hurried to the Mirror Chamber where the dorm leaders were gathered.*

Riddle: *frowns* Ace? Deuce? What are you two doing here?

Vil: You are not allowed here, spudlings. This meeting is for dorm leaders only.

Kalim: We should hear them first—

Ace: THE PREFECT IS OVERBLOTTING! WE NEED HELP NOW!

The dorm leaders: !!!

Malleus: What?!

Deuce: Please, Draconia-senpai! They're in pain! We must hurry!

Grim: MC...

MC: ...

MC: I'm fine, Grim... But can you do me a favor?

MC: Don't let anyone in.