Journal Of Bisexuality

Bi women can’t talk about being in relationships with men because that’s seen as forcing heterosexuality upon gay and lesbian people. Bi women who previously identified as something other than bi can’t talk about the process of realizing they were bi because that’s seen as forcing heterosexuality upon lesbians. Bi women can only talk about being in relationships with women if they add 15 caveats about how they hate other bi women now and have discarded their bisexuality. Bi women in relationships with bi men or with lesbians have to swear up and down that they aren’t fetishizing their partners. 

Bi women can’t talk about being happy (either single or in a relationship) because then people will take that as us having no problems in the world. Bi people can’t talk about mundane issues such as media representation or language about bisexuals because that’s too trivial. Bi women can’t talk about their sex lives or wanting to be polyamorous because that’s seen as too dirty and too gross and too predatory. Bi women can’t produce or consume “sappy wuhluhwuh content” because that’s seen as defanging and disrespecting lesbian identity and yet they can’t talk about bisexual social alienation/trauma/invisibility/loneliness because “invisibility is a privilege” and because “those things are just stolen terms from gay and lesbian people”. 

Bi women can’t talk about being unicorn hunted on dating apps because apparently they don’t face that issue and instead perpetuate it and force lesbians to have threesomes with their male partners (apparently). Bi women can’t talk about intracommunity biphobia without being told that we aren’t radical for dating men and that LGBT spaces are safe gay spaces that we’d be invading. 

Bi women can’t call themselves gay even when they’re in gay relationships. Bi women can’t call themselves tops or bottoms even when they’re having regular gay sex. Bi women can’t call themselves queer because that’s a slur but oh wait, it’s okay when other people weaponize that word against us. Bi women can’t call themselves masc or femme because they’d be stealing those terms from lesbians but oh wait they can’t call themselves tomcats, does, or stags because those terms are cringeworthy imitations of butch/femme. Bi women can’t talk about gender expression without being told they’re appropriating “real” gay culture. Bi women can’t talk about femininity without being told they perform it for men and bi women can’t talk about masculinity without being told that being bi makes it impossible for them to be masculine. 

Bi women can’t talk about how unique relationships between bi women and bi men or bi women and bi women or bi men and bi men are. Bi women can’t call their relationships “bisexual” relationships because that’s somehow “anti-materialism”. Bi women can’t talk about loving their male partners because that’s anti-feminist but they can’t talk about hating men as a class or their trauma with respect to men without being told that it means they must actually be “lesbians suffering from comphet”. 

Bi women can’t talk about solidarity with LGBT people without being seen as selfish, nor can they talk about just bi women without being seen as selfish. 

Bi women can’t talk about the material, systemic, and sexual violence we face because apparently it isn’t real, no matter how much empirically validated proof we offer, and if we do talk about it, we’re stealing lesbian specific experiences or erasing lesbian specific experiences or trying to claim gay and lesbian specific experiences. 

Bi women can’t talk about our place in overall LGBT history (because we were apparently invented in 1998) and we can’t talk about bisexual history (because that’s *spins wheel* taking the focus off the REAL radicals in the community). 

Bi women have to be politically perfect all the time and have to allow people to scrutinize their personal lives and interpersonal relationships and sexual histories/traumas but it’s okay for people to not be in solidarity with us or to even offer us an ounce of empathy (and if we ask for it we’re whiny, selfish, and crying about non-issues). Bi women have to hate themselves and each other and hold each other responsible for all the world’s problems 24/7 but can never hold people responsible for biphobia. 

Bi women can’t even talk about any of these things on their own blogs, in their own spaces, on their own time, with other bi women, because that’s just too much.

There really is no winning. 

can u make barbie a bi butch?? im tryna see sum

What are you asking for? For like an icon of Barbie with the bi butch flag? For a stick figure drawing of Barbie with more visually masculine or butchy clothing? Like do you want me to make Barbie a bi butch like march down to Mattel and create canon bi butch Barbie? Oh if I was a superhero that’s how I’d use my powers :)

promo post!

this is a positivity blog for all wlw the identify as dykes featuring mood/stimboards, pride icons, positive reminders, stories from wlw, advice, and even a place to vent and share your own stories! we'd love to have you if you'd like to hang out with us. 💖

this is a pro bi butch/femme, pro neopronoun, pro he/him lesbian, and anti bi lesbian blog (the flag below is the wlw flag).

feel free to ask anything but remember that this is not a discourse blog and we do not tolerate ahistoricism or disrespect.

Morally grey bisexual gf’s <3

what does febfem mean?

@bai-xue-lives and @prismatic-bell both asked me the same question, so here goes nuffink

Febfem: On Bisexual Radfems, Facts Don’t Care About Feelings, and Lesbians Essentialism

Radical feminists describe ‘febfem’ as a bisexual female* who, by choice. exclusively dates females. It arose out of a specific subset of radfem tumblr, which holds some ideas about gender, sexuality, and identity to be self-evident. these facts include:

lesbian refers exclusively to homosexual females. words like bisexual and lesbian are not identities but statements of fact. any person who self-identifies as a lesbian must be a female homosexual. if you’re not a female homosexual for any reason (you’ve dated men in the past, you were assigned male at birth, you’re bisexual but only date women) then you cannot be a lesbian. you need other words.

females who are exclusively attracted to females are the most oppressed group. everybody else needs to protect them; their terminology, and their spaces. they are inviolate. an attack upon them is the greatest crime. bisexual women are their oppressors because bi women benefit from heterosexuality (what these benefits are is unclear)

lesbians are allowed to call bisexual women anything they want, including slurs like cockslut, bihet, handmaiden, etc. a lesbian referring to bi women using these slurs is venting about her trauma at the hands of her bisexual oppressors and is above question or reproach. bisexual women are not allowed to vent about their trauma at the hands of lesbians because they have privilege over lesbians and it would be lesbophobic.

bisexual women are untrustworthy rapists who want to invade lesbian only spaces and abuse lesbians. [please note that in this case, “bisexual women” also refers to trans-inclusive lesbians.] all bisexual women are untrustworthy, cheating cocksluts until proven otherwise.

Bisexual radfems who want to have access to spaces that keep them safe and people who don’t treat them like cocksluts who are only waiting to cheat on the nearest lesbian, must find some way to signal their virtuosity. “Look at us!” They say. “We’re good bisexuals, unlike these other bihet handmaidens. Please allow us into your safe spaces, and make room for us in your rhetoric. We promise to hate ourselves for being attracted to men, constantly apologise for oppressing lesbians, and allow lesbians to target and bully us whenever they like. Look, to make it easy for lesbian radfems to tell when a bisexual is one of the Good Ones, we’ll put this handy word that we just made up - Febfem - in our bios, so you know precisely how to find us.”

It’s almost enough to make me feel sorry for them. If you go through the febfem tag on tumblr, a lot of posts talk about the importance of not talking over lesbians, not infringing on lesbian-only spaces, and not appropriating lesbian terminology, and reiterating constantly that lesbians don’t owe bi women anything (Just be grateful they didn’t call you an abusive slut today!). Of course, all this ground is won at the cost of bisexual women who aren’t female-exclusive, trans-inclusive lesbians, and trans lesbians. So I don’t really feel sorry for them. Except when I do, cause hyperempathy is a bitch that way.

also, they hate mogai tumblr even though they’re literally the radfem version of mogais

*Note: I use female when talking about AFABs (as radfems use female) and women when talking about people who identify as women regardless of AGAB.

Selenic + Khonsic Solidarity

I love bi ppl so much it’s unreal

The problem with commercial F/M romance is that it's written by the most heterosexual women alive and reading it you feel yourself slowly suffocating from the Gender of it all like a fish in a eutrophying lake. And what we actually need as a culture is F/M written by insane bisexuals violently allergic to heteronormativity

If a bisexual woman disagrees with me I will immediately change my views. I have no principles

I got inspired by starpyrate sparkly frame and decided to make one for me! and if you want that extra sparkle on your bi pride, feel free to use it!

happy pride!