Bi Sapphics - Blog Posts
Bisexuality and sapphicism is a gift
Controversal opinion, I don't think it's really ever appropriate for people to theorize about groups they're not apart of.
That's how you get things like "non binary people aren't oppressed" and "trans men are exactly like cis men in every way and therefore have male privilege" and "asexuals aren't LGBT" and "bisexuals have straight privilege" like maybe like, include the group you're theorizing about to talk about their experiences because it always ends up exclusionary otherwise.
Preserving Bi Women’s History
Bisexual activist and scholar Robyn Ochs just announced the successful conclusion of a project she has been working on for 7 ½ years in collaboration with Amy Benson of Harvard University’s Schlesinger Library.
Back issues of Bi Women (now the Bi Women Quarterly) (1983-2009) and of North Bi Northwest (a publication of the Seattle Bisexual Women’s Network) are now archived and available via Harvard University’s Schlesinger Library. They have been digitized, and are searchable and available to the public.
Here’s the press release from Harvard’s Schlesinger Library:
Boston is home to the longest-lived bisexual women’s periodical in the world. Bi Women Quarterly, a grassroots publication, began in September 1983 as a project of the newly-formed Boston Bisexual Women’s Network.
Staffed entirely by volunteers, and containing essays, poetry, artwork, and short fiction on a wide range of themes, Bi Women Quarterly provides a voice for women who identify as bisexual, pansexual, and other non-binary sexual identities.
Robyn Ochs, editor of Bi Women Quarterly since 2009, donated the only complete collection of this publication to Schlesinger Library several years ago with the agreement that it would be preserved, and digitized in a searchable format. The digitized collection at Schlesinger covers the years 1983 to 2010. We are delighted to announce that this project is complete, and this resource is now available to researchers and to the general public through Harvard’s catalog.
Making the voices of bi women accessible will hopefully provide researchers primary material with which to begin to fill this gap.
Issues of Bi Women Quarterly from 2009 to the present can be found online a BiWomenBoston.org. These more recent issues will be added to the Library’s collection in the near future.
The other side of the token of the repost yesterday (the "Why bother write characters in heteronormative relationships?" One). This was created by one of my favourite bi content creators on YouTube. I don't agree with every single detail, but I agree on the essence.
Controversial take (that shouldn't be so controversial)
OK, this applies to average people/normies, celebs and sometimes fictional characters alike (I debate these latter ones in a different manner). You know, sometimes I suspect someone is bi, but if I find out they are/identify as gay (or even straight, but this is less frequent), I just say "Oops, OK," shrug and move on. If it's someone I like, I don't stop liking them. But when someone shows queerness and I -and others- suspect them as bisexual (or multiple gender attracted), some people get angry, offended even. They just read "heterosexual" when multiple genders attraction also include queerness; homosexual (and scoliosexual) attractions; the possibility of preference for similar genders/same sex and/or the other possibility of ending up in the queer pairing you can feel represented by. It's as if some people feel threatened or discredited by someone identifying as bi/pan/queer; or use no labels but acknowledge or at least seemingly show attractions to different genders. As a bi woman, I have had past relationships with women and I feel happy when another woman in a same-gender relationship identifies as Multiple-gender attracted. That might be why it bothers me when people who insist these women are "gay all along and lying" get mad at me for the mere pointing out at them talking about their bisexuality. And as a normie example, I have a friend who after a lifetime of dating men she ended up marrying a woman and for her, while comphet affected her in the way it affects all women, it never affected her in the way it affects lesbians. Her attractions and love for these men were genuine to her.
Also, it seems that nowadays some people in Social Media seem to get a pass to men who had girlfriends or casual sex with women as long as they identify or are perceived as gay. Granted, some gay identified men do that for a variety of reasons, but how about those who make obvious their attraction to women as well as men, and acknowledge attractions? I have also come to the conclusion that how you identify your sexuality might be a personal thing. I know people who identify as gay because they are not attracted to all genders equally; or they base it on who they prefer to have romantic relationships with. And there are people in these same situations who identify as bi/pan/queer... And that seems to offend those who identify as gay. Maybe take a closer look and see what their reasons are? Same with bisexuals being offended at someone who identify as pansexual. Or viceversa. Maybe there are particular reasons for each to identify the way they do? Sometimes I admit I struggle with that, or with Multiple gender attracted people who choose not to label themselves, but I don't let that bother me. I'd rather live and let live and listen to individual experiences. Anyways... I am just pondering as I go.
Bi women aren’t secretly straight. Bi men aren’t secretly gay.
the things that a lot of y’all assume are “lesbian only” feelings and experiences and tag with “non-lesbians don’t touch” rlly reveals a lot of assumptions u have abt what bi women feel and experience. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, lesbians and bi women have far more in common with each other than not, and the differences should not be defined without input from bi women themselves
what does febfem mean?
@bai-xue-lives and @prismatic-bell both asked me the same question, so here goes nuffink
Febfem: On Bisexual Radfems, Facts Don’t Care About Feelings, and Lesbians Essentialism
Radical feminists describe ‘febfem’ as a bisexual female* who, by choice. exclusively dates females. It arose out of a specific subset of radfem tumblr, which holds some ideas about gender, sexuality, and identity to be self-evident. these facts include:
lesbian refers exclusively to homosexual females. words like bisexual and lesbian are not identities but statements of fact. any person who self-identifies as a lesbian must be a female homosexual. if you’re not a female homosexual for any reason (you’ve dated men in the past, you were assigned male at birth, you’re bisexual but only date women) then you cannot be a lesbian. you need other words.
females who are exclusively attracted to females are the most oppressed group. everybody else needs to protect them; their terminology, and their spaces. they are inviolate. an attack upon them is the greatest crime. bisexual women are their oppressors because bi women benefit from heterosexuality (what these benefits are is unclear)
lesbians are allowed to call bisexual women anything they want, including slurs like cockslut, bihet, handmaiden, etc. a lesbian referring to bi women using these slurs is venting about her trauma at the hands of her bisexual oppressors and is above question or reproach. bisexual women are not allowed to vent about their trauma at the hands of lesbians because they have privilege over lesbians and it would be lesbophobic.
bisexual women are untrustworthy rapists who want to invade lesbian only spaces and abuse lesbians. [please note that in this case, “bisexual women” also refers to trans-inclusive lesbians.] all bisexual women are untrustworthy, cheating cocksluts until proven otherwise.
Bisexual radfems who want to have access to spaces that keep them safe and people who don’t treat them like cocksluts who are only waiting to cheat on the nearest lesbian, must find some way to signal their virtuosity. “Look at us!” They say. “We’re good bisexuals, unlike these other bihet handmaidens. Please allow us into your safe spaces, and make room for us in your rhetoric. We promise to hate ourselves for being attracted to men, constantly apologise for oppressing lesbians, and allow lesbians to target and bully us whenever they like. Look, to make it easy for lesbian radfems to tell when a bisexual is one of the Good Ones, we’ll put this handy word that we just made up - Febfem - in our bios, so you know precisely how to find us.”
It’s almost enough to make me feel sorry for them. If you go through the febfem tag on tumblr, a lot of posts talk about the importance of not talking over lesbians, not infringing on lesbian-only spaces, and not appropriating lesbian terminology, and reiterating constantly that lesbians don’t owe bi women anything (Just be grateful they didn’t call you an abusive slut today!). Of course, all this ground is won at the cost of bisexual women who aren’t female-exclusive, trans-inclusive lesbians, and trans lesbians. So I don’t really feel sorry for them. Except when I do, cause hyperempathy is a bitch that way.
also, they hate mogai tumblr even though they’re literally the radfem version of mogais
*Note: I use female when talking about AFABs (as radfems use female) and women when talking about people who identify as women regardless of AGAB.
THIS BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE FOR ALL BISEXUAL WOMEN.
whether you have only dated men, only want to date men, have only dated women, only want to date women, have dated both and more genders, at the same time or not, don't want to date at all;
whether you are in a relationship with a man, in a relationship with a woman, in a relationship with a nonbinary person, in a relationship with someone who is not any of those, in a relationship with multiple people, or not in a relationship at all;
whether you enjoy threesomes or not;
whether you have a preference for men, a preference for women, a preference for nonbinary people, a preference for other genders, or have no preference and feel attraction regardless of gender, whether you're attracted to all genders, or are only attracted to some genders;
whether you've always known you were bisexual, you identified as a different sexuality before coming out as bisexual, you use other labels as well as bisexual interchangeably or simultaneously, or you're still unsure about or are scared of being bisexual;
whether you are masculine, feminine, androgynous, have mixed presentation, or something else;
whether you are a butch, a femme, a futch, a stud, a fish, a stem, or none of these;
whether you are a cis woman, a trans woman, a nonbinary woman, a multigender woman, a genderfluid woman, or have a different relationship with your womanhood;
whether your experiences with your bisexual womanhood is like something listed above or something different altogether;
NO MATTER WHAT, MY BLOG IS A SAFE PLACE FOR ALL BISEXUAL WOMEN.
here you will not be judged. here you will not be belittled. here you will not be abused or ridiculed. here you will not be bullied. here you will not be treated as lesser. here you will not be vilified or told you are wrong because of your sexuality.
bimisia has no place here or in the community.
here you will be loved. here you will be respected. here you will be honored. here you will be uplifted. here you will be praised. here you will be adored. here you will be respected. here you will be supported.
MY BLOG IS A SAFE PLACE FOR ALL BISEXUAL WOMEN.
because you belong here, and you deserve to have a community that supports you.
bisexual sapphics are allowed to be assigned lesbianism, but never may they have autonomy to label themselves.
The thing is, radfems (and other biphobic lesbians) DON'T have a problem with bisexual women using "lesbian terms". Not really.
They see a woman talking about her attraction to women, and call her a lesbian with no further thought. They see a masc woman, and they call her a butch, or the d-slur (affectionately). They see a pair of women in a relationship, they call them a "lesbian couple". They see no issue with these things. If you have a problem with it, maybe you should figure out why you have such a big problem with the word "lesbian"!
It's good, when it's used for bisexual erasure. Thus, the only conclusion we can draw is that their real problem lies in bisexual women having the autonomy to call themselves these terms.
People who get really bothered by the fact that bisexual women like men are so funny to me . “Bisexual women be like I am into a man 😂” yes that is something that often happens when a person is bisexual
Here is a sapphic songs spotify playist for bisexual women with songs made by bisexual women 🩷💜💙 (just to be clear, it's not my playlist. I'm just highlighting it)
Selenic Flag 💜🤍🌙🤍💜 made by @/LUV4SAPPHICS on Twitter!
I love this flag and term, and my hecatic flag was inspired by it!
Bi women can’t talk about being in relationships with men because that’s seen as forcing heterosexuality upon gay and lesbian people. Bi women who previously identified as something other than bi can’t talk about the process of realizing they were bi because that’s seen as forcing heterosexuality upon lesbians. Bi women can only talk about being in relationships with women if they add 15 caveats about how they hate other bi women now and have discarded their bisexuality. Bi women in relationships with bi men or with lesbians have to swear up and down that they aren’t fetishizing their partners.
Bi women can’t talk about being happy (either single or in a relationship) because then people will take that as us having no problems in the world. Bi people can’t talk about mundane issues such as media representation or language about bisexuals because that’s too trivial. Bi women can’t talk about their sex lives or wanting to be polyamorous because that’s seen as too dirty and too gross and too predatory. Bi women can’t produce or consume “sappy wuhluhwuh content” because that’s seen as defanging and disrespecting lesbian identity and yet they can’t talk about bisexual social alienation/trauma/invisibility/loneliness because “invisibility is a privilege” and because “those things are just stolen terms from gay and lesbian people”.
Bi women can’t talk about being unicorn hunted on dating apps because apparently they don’t face that issue and instead perpetuate it and force lesbians to have threesomes with their male partners (apparently). Bi women can’t talk about intracommunity biphobia without being told that we aren’t radical for dating men and that LGBT spaces are safe gay spaces that we’d be invading.
Bi women can’t call themselves gay even when they’re in gay relationships. Bi women can’t call themselves tops or bottoms even when they’re having regular gay sex. Bi women can’t call themselves queer because that’s a slur but oh wait, it’s okay when other people weaponize that word against us. Bi women can’t call themselves masc or femme because they’d be stealing those terms from lesbians but oh wait they can’t call themselves tomcats, does, or stags because those terms are cringeworthy imitations of butch/femme. Bi women can’t talk about gender expression without being told they’re appropriating “real” gay culture. Bi women can’t talk about femininity without being told they perform it for men and bi women can’t talk about masculinity without being told that being bi makes it impossible for them to be masculine.
Bi women can’t talk about how unique relationships between bi women and bi men or bi women and bi women or bi men and bi men are. Bi women can’t call their relationships “bisexual” relationships because that’s somehow “anti-materialism”. Bi women can’t talk about loving their male partners because that’s anti-feminist but they can’t talk about hating men as a class or their trauma with respect to men without being told that it means they must actually be “lesbians suffering from comphet”.
Bi women can’t talk about solidarity with LGBT people without being seen as selfish, nor can they talk about just bi women without being seen as selfish.
Bi women can’t talk about the material, systemic, and sexual violence we face because apparently it isn’t real, no matter how much empirically validated proof we offer, and if we do talk about it, we’re stealing lesbian specific experiences or erasing lesbian specific experiences or trying to claim gay and lesbian specific experiences.
Bi women can’t talk about our place in overall LGBT history (because we were apparently invented in 1998) and we can’t talk about bisexual history (because that’s *spins wheel* taking the focus off the REAL radicals in the community).
Bi women have to be politically perfect all the time and have to allow people to scrutinize their personal lives and interpersonal relationships and sexual histories/traumas but it’s okay for people to not be in solidarity with us or to even offer us an ounce of empathy (and if we ask for it we’re whiny, selfish, and crying about non-issues). Bi women have to hate themselves and each other and hold each other responsible for all the world’s problems 24/7 but can never hold people responsible for biphobia.
Bi women can’t even talk about any of these things on their own blogs, in their own spaces, on their own time, with other bi women, because that’s just too much.
There really is no winning.
Bisexual Feminist Blinkies! 🩷
All blinkies made by me, but I found all the formats on blinkie.cafe!
Completely Random Icons I’ve made that I would totally use rn if I wasn’t so attached to my current one:
Bi Dyke Sunset Shimmer
Bi Femme Glimmer
Bi Barbie
Pastel Bi Feminist
Pink Bg w/Bisexual Moon + Double Venus
Bi Harlivy
They are ALL giving Mari/Gontrom/KittyKat
Free to use, just give me credit <3
Various Bisexual Flag moodboards ♡
Bisexual (pastel version, edited by me)
Camellian (a bi woman/bi sapphic who dates fellow sapphics exclusively; acknowledges attraction to men but chooses to not act upon it- basically a trans/nb inclusive vers. of febfem!)
Bi Dyke (bisexual woman/bisexual sapphic who chooses to reclaim the slur dyke)
Bi femme (a bi who is femme)
Selenic (any bisexual sapphic, regardless if they are dating a woman, a man, an nb, or single. Any bisexual wlw + nblw)
All photos sourced from Pinterest!
Poison Ivy camellian icons 🩷🌸💜💙
Support Your Local Bisexual.
Support Bisexual Men.
Support Bisexual Women.
Support Trans Bisexuals.
Support Non-Binary Bisexuals.
Support ALL Bisexuals.
[ Art is mine. Please do not repost, but reblogs and likes are welcome! ]
Sapphic Feminist Flag ♀
Sapphic Feminist flag! Based off of my Bisexual Feminist Flag!
Bisexual Woman flag <3
I chose pink for- not femininity as all women are beautiful whether they’re masculine or feminine- but for femaleness. Purple for sapphicness and womanhood. And green since it’s an international women’s day colour. I am so proud of this flag :)
