Recently I’ve been thinking about different components of sexual orientation, and how it is effectively formed of both internal identity and external behaviour. It’s interesting that, without a detailed conversation with other individuals, we can only assume their orientation and identity on the basis of their external behaviour, which is all that is visible to us.
For example, if someone is in a long term, committed, monogamous relationship with a member of the opposite sex, they are assumed to be straight, and their behaviour is interpreted as representative of heterosexuality. But they might be bisexual. If someone is in a long term, committed, monogamous relationship with a member of the same sex, they are assumed to be gay/lesbian, and their behaviour is interpreted as representative of homosexuality. But they might be bisexual.
In this context, what external behaviour could someone exhibit that would lead to the assumption they were bisexual, and therefore that their behaviour is representative of bisexuality? They’d have to be engaging with the same sex and the opposite sex more or less simultaneously in order not to be assumed to be straight or gay/lesbian. How might that work?
They could be having regular sex with multiple people of both sexes (bisexuals are promiscuous, bisexuals are easy, bisexuals are sluts). They could be having multiple concurrent and short term relationships with people of both sexes (bisexuals can’t commit, bisexuals will leave you for a member of the other sex). They could be having sex with people of both sexes at the same time (bisexuals are kinky, bisexuals have group sex, bisexuals want to have threesomes all the time). They could have a committed relationship with a member of one sex, and affairs with members of the other sex (bisexuals CHEAT). They could be non-monogamous and having various relationships with members of both sexes (bisexuals can’t be satisfied with just one person).
So. In order for other people to recognise you as a bisexual person, you have to be engaging in some form of stigmatised and nonconforming sexual activity, all of which just happen to be typical stereotypes about bisexuality. The only way to be perceived as a bisexual person is to conform with bisexual stereotypes. A bisexual person who doesn’t conform to a single bisexual stereotype cannot be perceived as a bisexual person, and therefore cannot disprove or undermine those stereotypes in the mind of the person perceiving them. Because if they don’t conform to a single bisexual stereotype, they are perceived as heterosexual/homosexual, and their nice, conforming, virtuous behaviour is ascribed to that perceived monosexual identity. Even if they had previously exhibited bisexual behaviour (bisexuality is just a phase, they’ll eventually pick a side).
Alternatively, they could verbally assert their identity regularly enough to offset the assumptions others make on the basis of their behaviour (bisexuals are self-obsessed).
There is no way of being consistently perceived as a bisexual person, in the current landscape, without reinforcing bisexual stereotypes in the minds of those perceiving you, because if you don’t align with and reinforce those stereotypes you are unperceivable as a bisexual person.
all in all though I'm very proud of bisexuals especially bi women for speaking out against biphobia and not allowing ourselves to be silenced these past several years, these spaces are obviously still pretty hostile sometimes but I think we've made a lot of progress and changed a lot of people's minds.
hey, i hope it was okay that i added a background circle with a shade of purple exactly in-between the two you used! i just felt it looked a little too simple, so for fun i wanted another slight detail:
i also made versions with the classic double moons symbol as well!
Biphilia attraction to two or more genders.
The suffix “philia” Greek word means “love, affection”. Philic attraction would mean love (towards two or more genders).
Bi individuals may prefer this term, some because they are variorented, such as gyneromantic androsexuals or androromantic gynesexuals, etc. Biphiliac encompasses all bi-prefixed orientations.
The first flag was based on the gynephilic and androphilic flags, can be used for ambiphilic flag too. The sencond one on the bisexual flag, I would like to make the size of the purple color the same as the others, but it would look like some androgyne flags.
See also: ambiphiliac.
i'm tempted to say "they're dating" but of course the whole point is they're not and that's the tragedy of a century. they are platonic partners, allies in arms, besties for life, love & light in solidarity!
Les4Les:
A lesbian who prefers to date other lesbians rather than other sexualities due to shared experiences. This does not mean they won't date someone of a different sexuality, they just have a preference for dating the same sexuality.
Bi4Bi:
A bisexual who prefers to date other bisexuals rather than other sexualities due to shared experiences. This does not mean they won't date someone of a different sexuality, they just have a preference for dating the same sexuality.
Bisexual activist and scholar Robyn Ochs just announced the successful conclusion of a project she has been working on for 7 ½ years in collaboration with Amy Benson of Harvard University’s Schlesinger Library.
Back issues of Bi Women (now the Bi Women Quarterly) (1983-2009) and of North Bi Northwest (a publication of the Seattle Bisexual Women’s Network) are now archived and available via Harvard University’s Schlesinger Library. They have been digitized, and are searchable and available to the public.
Here’s the press release from Harvard’s Schlesinger Library:
Boston is home to the longest-lived bisexual women’s periodical in the world. Bi Women Quarterly, a grassroots publication, began in September 1983 as a project of the newly-formed Boston Bisexual Women’s Network.
Staffed entirely by volunteers, and containing essays, poetry, artwork, and short fiction on a wide range of themes, Bi Women Quarterly provides a voice for women who identify as bisexual, pansexual, and other non-binary sexual identities.
Robyn Ochs, editor of Bi Women Quarterly since 2009, donated the only complete collection of this publication to Schlesinger Library several years ago with the agreement that it would be preserved, and digitized in a searchable format. The digitized collection at Schlesinger covers the years 1983 to 2010. We are delighted to announce that this project is complete, and this resource is now available to researchers and to the general public through Harvard’s catalog.
Making the voices of bi women accessible will hopefully provide researchers primary material with which to begin to fill this gap.
Issues of Bi Women Quarterly from 2009 to the present can be found online a BiWomenBoston.org. These more recent issues will be added to the Library’s collection in the near future.
☽☾ bi blog ✗ learn ur historyop (pride-cat, whom you can call aster) goes by he/she and identifies as butch (but is often inactive) icon credit: n7punk | header credit: mybigraphics
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