My Advice To The Kids Is That They Should Fight People On The Playground While They Can Still Get Away

Xiao Zhan as Yan Bingyun in Joy of Life:  1.39

Episode 3

This fool. This idiot. This absolute buffoon. He has no idea what’s about to hit him. Savour this peace while you can, Lan Wangji. 9/10

Jiang clan shenanigans (Shenanijiangs) and Wei Wuxian daring to speak in his presence drag the ambient peace down. Is it fair that someone can be So Attractive and also So Annoying? It is Not Fair. 7.5/10

Breaking the rules is against the rules. The eyebrow slant is growing Dangerous. 4/10

The consternation is Real. Wei Wuxian has been told that breaking the rules is forbidden but he continues to break the rules??? How could anyone feel peaceful in a situation like this? Lan Wangji’s brow threatens to furrow. 3/10

On the surface you may think you see a man who is Completely Peaceful. Do Not Let Him Fool You! That little step back tells you everything you need to know. 3/10

Lan Xichen is a Gift and a Balm in these troubled times. Peacefulness regained, restored. All is right with the world. 8.5/10

Betrayal. Lan Xichen is a Betrayer. Let us speak no more of this. Flee into the night. 2.5/10

Yeah no I'm no longer a zhehan stan acc. There's no way the visits to Yasukuni Shrine and Nogi Shrine were purely coincidental.

For the folks who are detached from the intergenerational trauma of Japanese colonialism, here are some history facts from 1937-1945 World War 2 that personally impact my decision:

- The bataan death march. I have family who experienced this.

- The history of comfort women and girls: Grassroots activists from South Korea, China, and the Philippines are still fighting TO THIS DAY in order to get reparations for the enslaved women forced into prostitution. There were children who were kidnapped. Its too traumatizing to share more detail.

- Japanese occupation and bombing of my city from 1941-1945

There are multiple recent sources stating Zhehan's involvement in these insensitive acts and I cannot bring myself to believe he didn't know any better. Yes, people are sensitive to this news because we continue to mourn the events that occured less than 80 years ago. History may be of the past but the past impact our present day realities.

Whether or not you continue to support Zhehan is your choice. What I find disappointing about this discourse is the disrespect regarding Chinese people's anger. The context is heavy.

watching word of honor was fun because i knew all the spoilers but none of the actual plot. yes i know everyone who dies in the penultimate episode. what’s a glazed armour. yes i have seen 30 different gifsets of every wenzhou scene including the epilogue. who’s zhao jing

‘So everything sucks’ mental health toolkit

Hello everyone, I lost half my family last year between March and November, three of whom were elderly, and it was Not Much Fun Actually BUT I have had the horrible thought that many people this year are going to be in the same boat I was in in 2019, so here is how I coped:

Write everything down. I mean it. Anything you’re feeling; the grief, the worry about their health, how much you love them. Put it down on paper. Exorcise it. Don’t just let the bad feelings and the sadness fester. It doesn’t have to be exquisite poetry, just catharsis. 

Call your relatives! Especially the elderly ones. After the first 3 bereavements I got much closer to my grandma. Her passing wasn’t made harder by the fact of having spent more time speaking to her; it was eased because I knew that she knew how much I loved her. 

BE SENSIBLE. You want to see your family now. I get it. My uncle was given 3 weeks to live and I caught norovirus. I couldn’t see him for a week. It sucked. But I had to stay at home, because if he caught it, he’d die. Covid-19 is the same principle. Phone them instead. 

Talk to your family and friends about how you feel. Grief is a really, really lonely place sometimes. I didn’t know anyone going through what I was going through. This time, we’re all in it together. Share your feelings. Reassure each other that you’re valid and heard. 

Be kind to yourself. There’s going to be days, especially with all this social upheaval, where you just can’t. This is OK. You’re a human who has worth beyond your productivity. Let yourself feel sad if you have to. Eat a bit of chocolate. Have a bath. Then do the laundry.

Keep being human, in all the ways you can. Keep cleaning the house. Get up every morning and get dressed. Go to bed at a sensible time. Eat healthy, regular meals. Keep yourself strong, not just in case you get the virus, but to remind yourself that you can and will endure. 

As clichéd as it is, remember that you have survived everything in your life up to this point. You can get through this. There will be a time when it’s over. I thought 2019 would never end. It was funeral after funeral. I thought I wouldn’t make it out the other side. I did. 

Check in with people and ask them to check in with you. My friends literally got me through 2019, even though I wasn’t always up for seeing them in person. We phoned and texted. Build a support network. Being socially isolated doesn’t mean being lonely. 

I think that’s pretty much it, but a final reminder that we humans can endure so much more than we think we can, even when it feels like it’s relentless and it will never stop. It will. The only way through it is, well, to go through it. I hope everyone is staying safe and well!!

you don’t have to be good. You don’t have to be good. You don’t have to be good. You don’t have to be good

if ur not borderline i promise u that u don’t get it. ppl have tried to tell me that they understand how obsessive i am in relationships because they get mad when their bf is talking to other girls. no. u don’t get it. and u should be happy u don’t get it. it’s not cute to have panic attacks in the middle of work because ur partner texted u in a “different tone”. it’s not fun having ur whole day ruined because u just remembered they have friend and ppl they care about outside of u. it’s not normal to genuinely want to die because they didn’t compliment u with the same enthusiasm they usually do. it’s scary and embarrassing and guilt inducing. u don’t get it and i’m so glad u don’t but pls stop trying to relate to something that u physically can’t. it doesn’t make me feel better it makes me feel invalidated and embarrassed because u DONT know how deep it goes.

My ancestors, watching me dump an entire stick of cinnamon, two cloves, an allspice berry, and a generous grating of nutmeg into my tea, sweetened with white sugar and loaded with cream, while I sit in my clean warm house surrounded by books, 25+ outfits for different occasions, and 6 pairs of shoes, in a building heated so well I have the windows open in mid-autumn:

Our daughter prospers. We are proud of her. She has never labored in a field but knows riches we could not have imagined.

Singing at the top of your lungs with someone you care about is a love language. Randomly breaking into a dance together is a love language. Being weird together, knowing how the other person likes their coffee, saying “you’re brilliant” or “you’re beautiful” at unexpected moments are all love languages. Text messages that day “I’m thinking of you”, or “this song reminds me of you” or “how is your day going?” are all ways of saying I miss you and therefore a love language. “Let me know when you’re home safe” is a love language. “Do you want a hug” is a love language. Listening, truly listening to a rant and offering comfort is a love language. So is sitting in silence together. Saying “I believe in you” is a love language and encouraging your passions is a love language too. Look, just look at the thousands of ways people say I love you. They don’t have to use the words at all. All you have to do is listen. Just listen.

- Nikita Gill, Love Language