Whenever I Open A Fanfic And See "sorry English Isn't My First Language" In The Authors Note I Know I'm

I have ADHD and I am deepl grateful dor this post...needed this today ♡

only washing the exact amount of dishes you need for your next meal is valid

- one pan

- one cooking spoon

- one plate

- one fork

it‘s fiiiiine if you don‘t have the energy for more. but you gotta eat, babe 🫶

Murphy’s law, applied to fanfics.

- The fic starts out great, nice style, language, captivating summary. It’s unfinished and has been abandoned since 2013.

- The fic is complete, nice style, language, tons of kudos speak for themselves. It’s about your NOTP.

- The fic is about your OTP,  it’s complete, it’s kinky as hell. The plot is absolutely dumbass.

- The plot sounds great, it’s about your OTP, it’s complete. The characters are horribly OOC.

 - Everything is perfect in this fic, starting from the first letter and ending with the last full stop. It’s exactly 800 words long.

- The fic’s word count is a six-figure number, it’s about your OTP, characters are compliant with your head-canon. It’s dull and boring as seven hells.

- The beginning is enthralling, everything’s great, the plot, the style, it’s long and it’s even about your OTP. It features something that makes you close the tab as soon as you open it, like father/daughter incest or mpreg or some other squicky thing. 

- Everything is perfect in this fic, the length, the characters, the language, the style, you forget you’re reading fanfic, thinking it’s a masterpiece of true literature, you cry tears of joy and write a huge review full of gushing love and then rush to the author’s profile to read every other thing they’ve written. It’s their only work.

"done." I say through tears as I pick out yet another fanfic of the same people but this time they meet at a carnival.

"Seasick" - Shipping Rizzles on a Lesbian Cruise

Title of Fic: "Seasick"

Author: Sybilia

Fandom/Pairing: "Rizzoli & Isles", Maura Isles and Jane Rizzoli ("Rizzles")

TW: /

Rating: M

Synopsis: Angela Rizzoli wins a 7-day-vacation on a cruise across the Caribbean and wants her daughter, detective Jane Rizzoli, to come with her. But shortly before the ship's departure, Angela suddenly declares that she is feeling unwell and can't come on the cruise. This leaves Jane with her best friend, brilliant and nerdy Medical Examiner Maura Isles, as the "plus-one".

But when her and Maura enter the ship, Jane quickly comes to the conclusion that something on the "Olivia" smells - well, fishy? (sorry for the double entendre, lol). Not only are there solely women on the ship - the women all seem to be very interested in the same sex. Jane is mortified, especially when Maura points out that as the winner of the cruise drive, Jane is legally obligated to stick to the release she signed, which inlcudes leading various group activitites, posing for pictures and the like.

Jane would rather just up and leave but lets herself be convinced into staying (does she even have a choice, for real?). So, our two favorite Bostonians find themselves in an extremely gay environment, surrounded by hundreds of lesbians, and have to pretend being a couple as soon as they leave their cabin on the ship to participate in the various activitites and competitions going on.

But Jane would not be Jane without her competitive streak and she soon finds herself wanting to be the "Queen of all Lesbians", as the winner of the games is called. This leads to some pretty hilarious events like her participating in a "Lick clean an ice-cream bowl"-contest or a "penetrate donuts with a dildo on a harness strapped to your waist"-competition.

It does not only sound funny and weird as heck, it is! The wonderful thing about this fic is that there are multiple wonderful things, to be honest. The plot is so clever and original that you don't want Rizzles to leave that lesbian cruise ship ever again. But then we also have the beautiful, very accurate depiction of Maura and Jane who are written in character so very well by this crazily talented writer. The descriptions, be it of the games or the ship or the tourist destinations, are done in great detail and serve to make this story even more outstanding. Aaand as the special cherry on top, we also get the authors's OCs and all of them are utterly PRICELESS! We have former Wimbledon Champion, the unapologetically gay and deliciously unhinged Millie-Joyce Ming, famous singer and surprisingly tame diva Beata Frankenmeier and "Big Carl" Carla Timmons, another police officer ready for a good time among fellow lesbians.

And in the middle of this spicily sapphic ship, we have Maura and Jane, both secretly already harboring more than just platonic feelings for one another... but will they finally be courageous enough to admit their blossoming love for each other and go from "fake girlfriends" to "real couple"?

I cannot stress this often enough: READ THIS MASTERPIECE!! It is so wholesome and brilliant and great fun and romantic and wild and creative and had me laugh out loud in public again and again because the humor is simply impeccable. Read it. You won't regret it.

Also, make sure to check out the writer's other two stories, "Constant Companion" and "Seasick"'s sequel, "Cherry Grove", they are equally awesome!!

"Rizzoli & Isles: Season 8" - a brilliant fanfic for everyone who wants Rizzles endgame!

Title of Fic: "Rizzoli & Isles: Season 8"

Author: SilenceintheLibrary13

Fandom/Pairing: "Rizzoli & Isles", Maura Isles and Jane Rizzoli ("Rizzles")

TW: /

Rating: M

Synopsis: This story is set as a continuation of the series, but with the ending we all hoped for with every fibre of our being and still didn't get! And the best thing is that we get to read about their month in Paris together - where they finally admit their true feelings for each other and enjoy a romantic first vacation as a couple. Yay!

The characters are written really well here and while it's not a slow burn, their development as a romantic couple is depicted in a very convincing way. The plot itself needs to be praised, too: We get some sexy times, but also heartfelt conversation and a glimpse into their domestic life together, yet the author did not shy away from adding some good ol' suspense: When Maura and Jane decide to get married, they receive threatening anonymous messages to call the event off! Someone definitely does not want to grant them their well-deserved "Happily ever after" but who could that mystery person be? Someone holding a grudge against those two for professional or personal reasons?

This storyline has everything a really good fanfiction needs and was Winner of the 2018 Rizzles Award of Distinction for Best Canon Storyline!

It is one of those fanfics you can read again and again when you are in the mood for something that is light but not shallow, romantic but not *too* dramatic, neither slow-burn nor sloppily done. It's one of the stories to go back to again and again because of its perfect combo of romance, fluff, smu*t, suspense and character development.

"Warm Milk" - a Rizzles Fanfic that has it ALL: intimacy • growth • romance • fluff • sexy times

Title of Fic: "Warm Milk"

Author: YoDrDeath

Fandom/Pairing: "Rizzoli & Isles", Maura Isles and Jane Rizzoli ("Rizzles")

TW: mentions of past abuse, r*pe, PTSD

Synopsis: This fic is based around season 1 & 2 and follows Jane and Maura on their journey from friends & co-workers to becoming a romantic couple. Jane Rizzoli was not only cruelly haunted by Hoyt, but also s*xually assaulted. Maura Isles wants to help the person who is becoming the best friend she's ever had, but she also can't deny her own attraction to Jane who is still suffering from nightmares, flashbacks and severe anxiety. When Maura gently suggests to aid Jane in the process of becoming more okay again with vulnerability - especially regarding sexual intimacy -, the detective is hesitant, maybe even appalled, at first. But she can't quite get Maura's idea out of her head and so, the two women find themselves in one of their bedroomes, talking about stuff Jane is scared of and Maura starts developing a plan to guide her dear friend. At first, all they do is talk. They talk about sexual encounters, about what Jane would like, what would feel good and why, it starts out harmless enough. But of course, their conversations turn a little more heated very soon, and then, slowly, the touching starts, too. And finally, both women realize that they want more which understandably is horribly frightening and confusing for Jane. But on the other hand, Maura is her safe place. She trusts the medical examiner more and more, she finds herself aching for her presence and aching for her touches.

This story beautifully explores their blossoming relationship and the difficultites they have to face. It is a heartwarming, clever, tender story about true love, and it deals with difficult but extremely important issues like consent, PTSD, boundaries and sexual epression. It is the story about Jane, the surivor of a horrific assault, that changes her life forever but that does not take away her personality and her ability to love fully and desire intimacy - physical and emotional. Somehow, this story delicately manages to walk the fine line between the really dark stuff, the beauty of love blossoming in the most unexpected places under the most unexpected circumstances and also captures this really passionate, intense moments between our two favorite ladies.

Rating: M

"Thin Frames" - a Cabenson Fanfic full of suspense, sexiness and sweet moments!

Title of Fic: "Thin Frames"

Author: DAxilla (rest in peace <3 Your works of (fan)fiction have touched so many hearts and continue to do so!)

Fandom/Pairing: "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit", Olivia Benson/Alexandra Cabot

Synopsis: Not an alternative universe here - in this story, Olivia is working as the dedicated detective she is while Alex is exactly the passionate and ambitious ADA we've all come to love on the show! However, DAxilla gives us just what our hearts need: a beautiful, very well written, emotional love story between these two beauties. She manages to convey their thoughts and feelings with depth and never strays Out of Character, but at the same time, the fic is not your typical slow burn - however, there are still some major bump in the road to domestic bliss and hapiness because Alex is scared of letting Olivia in while Olivia has a hard time figuring the younger woman out. All of this is settled into the crime plot of the fic that really would make a great SVU episode! While the Cabenson moments in this fic are priceless (and the main reason we've all read it, c'mon!), the storyline based around the brutal mutilation and murder of upper-class business woman Samantha Wainscott, who also happens to be the daughter of Judge Wainscott, is such a creative one and composed with so much care, knowledge and detail that it left me awestruck more than once!

It's not as slow-paced as your typical slow-burn but at 31 chapters long, I can guarantee you that it makes for an compelling story that will have you go through aaaalll kinds of emotions.

I can't even express my gratitude that such brilliant pieces of FanFiction exist - and this fic is also the one that truly makes me yearn for a show that openly portrays the relationship between a strong, caring, badass detective and her beautiful, intelligent, sophisticated, no-nonsense blonde ADA girlfriend!

Rating: M

Help girl I'm finally alone with my thoughts and I don't like it

the ao3 servers are apparently ‘stressed’ but not as stressed as me now i have no fics to read and might have to wait hours to read them

not gonna lie, every wes anderson movie gives me exactly this vibe

I do wholeheartedly believe Wes Anderson is a sick sick freak. I like his movies but I definitely think this guy has like a hidden room in his spacious french apartment that he slips into quietly each night and it is just filled with tiny little doll replicas of all the actors he's ever used in any of his movies and he puppets them around and mimicks their voices and shit. and sometimes he'll text Owen Wilson pictures of his little doll with a comb or something from an untraceable number and pair it with like "see how I take care of you Owen?" and then the following day Owen Wilson will find him at the service table and go, "Geez Wes look at this," and Wes will pretend to be all concerned and horrified but there is this calculating almost eager look in his eyes that unsettles Owen Wilson. and the next time Wes is having a little soiree with all his actors, his beloved beloved actors, maybe Owen Wilson will accidentally get lost on his way to the beautiful bathroom and find that little room and see all those dolls and his throat will hitch with horror. And before he can call Bill Murray or Adrian Brody to look a dark silhouette will appear in the doorway and Wes looks sort of resigned when he says, "I see you finally found my secret, Owen," and Owen Wilson will try and pretend that he's fine with it but they both know better. and Wes will go (the look in his eyes back again) "We both know this can't get out, right?" and he'll grin very suddenly and Owen Wilson will laugh along very nervously and leave the room and eat some brioche and when the evening is over he will rush over to his Prius and frantically click his keys but over the cobbles on the beautiful beautiful street there is the sound of footsteps. and tears are running down Owen Wilson's cheeks but he can't say a word and Wes, emerging from the shadows, will gently touch him on the shoulder and say, "look, I'll drive you to the airport, huh?" and Owen Wilson will try to refuse but they both know it's futile. and, halfway through the drive, Wes Anderson will smile and say, "I'll miss working with you" and then perfectly jump and roll out of the car, wiping off his corduroy pants, while Owen Wilson's Prius swerves into a local patisserie, bursting into flames