I Think I’m Going Insane

Tumblr Code.

My pizza still not here it’s 1:36 am :(

I can’t fucking wait for pizza

🚨urgent 🚨

My whole life is attachment in this link , may god not forgive you ,if you don't publish my story , d0n@te! a little ,Share a post with as much as possible . 👇👇

This is not a campaign we can wait weeks to complete. My parents are very tired due to the lack of medicines to treat them. Diseases are everywhere. The situation is catastrophic. Death and displacement are following us everywhere. The bombing does not stop for a second. I do not want to lose any member of my family. I cannot bear this. I cannot remain without one of them.

Donate to the dentist Ahed from Gaza and 7 members of her family before it is too late. This campaign is funded by butterfly effect project line No.407

gofundme.com

Donate to Help Gazans family get to safety, organized by Ahed Alshaer

‏Hello, Please read this as if I'm a member of your family . maybe your sister, daughte… Ahed Alshaer needs your support for Help Gazans fa

Anyone who knows me knows what I fought for from the first moment I created the campaign. This was the ultimate solution to make the sun shine again for every member of my family. I created an initiative and a campaign with all my strong motivation, and with all my will and determination to save them no matter what the cost. I have put all my energy into this battle to... save them. You put so much hope in every member of my family. I started fighting everyone who stood in my way.

I undertook this campaign for one goal only: to survive. So that we do not allow the occupation to kill us in cold blood. I don't want to see myself cut into pieces. I don't want to see my family in this horrible way. I won't stand it. You who are reading my words will not bear to live in this hell for a single minute, so you will fight for me because you are a human being, no matter how much I explain to you the details of the suffering that I experience every minute and every risk that I take just in order to survive.

I decided to start posting on the Tumblr application, which I did not know about, but I came across it by chance. I hope that this coincidence will be the reason for saving 8 people from death and genocide. I have great hope for you. I know you will help me and stand up. By my side in this ordeal and difficult circumstances

For those who do not know us, we are a family of 8 people: my mother, father, two daughters, 3 brothers, and a little girl. I am Ahed, a dentist at Al-Azhar University in Gaza, in the fourth year, and my sister Samah is in high school. My father is diabetic and my mother has pneumonia, and my brothers are Jamal, Hamada, and Hamdan.

Asking for your help is the only way I have to rescue my family’s life and future, your help may become our hope when hope is far away from us under these conditions, every dollar you can help with may save a life, bring hope to a tired heart and save a future of a youth one

Please don’t read this as a tragedy story ,, I’m here to ask you to prevent it from getting more tragedy and to help us start our life all over again. I’m here to ask for your help not your sympathy , to ask you to take action whether by donating or by sharing this to everyone you know who can help, please read this with your heart and take action as if it’s your family, your mom, your siblings who are under these conditions.

@timetravellingkitty @turian @briarhips @aces-and-angels @mahoushojoe @rhubarbspring

@schoolhater @pcktknife. @transmutationisms @sawasawako  @appsa @terroristiraqis @irhabiya

@commissions4aid-international @wellwaterhysteria @mangocheesecakes @kyra45-helping-others @marnota @brutaliakhoa

@tortiefrancis  @toiletpotato @fromjannah @omegaversereloaded @vague-humanoid @criptochecca 

@ot3 @amygdalae @ankle-beez @communistchilchuck @dykesbat  @socalgal

@chilewithcarnage @ghelgheli @sayruq @deepspaceboytoy @post-brahminism @junglejim4322 @kibumkim @neechees

@victoriassecretangelsss @sar-soor @northgazaupdates2 @journalsforpalestine

@deathlonging _@watermotif @shesnake @pcktknife

FAVORITE CHAPPELL ROAN BRIDGE/OUTRO → RED WINE SUPERNOVA “I needed a campy gay girl song that captured the magic of having feelings for another girl. I packed the song with fun raunchy lyrics that make it feel like a night out flirting with the girl across the bar!”

I took her to my penthouse and I freaked it

There is no bigger honor than a kid asking to sit with you during fireworks. Biggest confidence boost in months

Did any one else have way to much confidence in them self as a kid. Like I remember when I was like six I would walk around and look at fully grown adults and just think “ yeah I could probably take them in a fight.” But It didn’t stop there I would think about like how I would fight them and just stare at them and think about it

Is this anything

I think I need a Tetris shot

(THE BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS!!)

Thinking about Bill’s appearance at the end of the book…

[ID: BIll when confronting the Axolotl. He is shown in white silhouette, hovering in space, hovering neutrally. Notably, he has a massive crack running through his body, splitting him into multiple pieces, some of which are coming apart. /end ID]

When confronting the Axolotl, Bill is broken. The Axolotl even notes this: "Shattered, broken, not yet dead."

(Which, side note, makes me think Bill might have been lying about having been "kicked out of Hell," if he didn't actually die in Stan's head.)

[ID: Three pictures of Bill in the Theraprism. The first one shows him holding his hand against the side of his head in a dazed expression, sitting in a chair in a white padded room between a wizard with a clock for a face and Saturn (taken directly from the painting Saturn Devouring His Son). The second is a camera recording of him wearing an orange jumpsuit and kneeling in a cell, surrounded by arts and crafts tools, holding a pair of scissors, and beaming his thoughts frantically into a book. The third shows a mugshot of him staring blankly into the camera, his own name written on coded text below him. In all three images, he has a glowing scar where the cracks were, and is in one piece. /end ID]

When he's shown in the Theraprism, we see a glowing, static-y scar where the cracks were. The scar crosses his entire body (and even crosses to the other side of his eye without affecting it!), but he's actually whole, keeping himself together.

But then...

[ID: Two pictures of Bill from the last pages of the book. In the first one he is facing forward and holding up one finger, his eye reddened, his entire form glitching, and his crack is notably worse than prior, cracking through his eye, multiple smaller pieces drifting away. In the second one he is staring blankly at the viewer, his arms hanging limply, his eye wide and blank, the crack worse than the previous image, with more pieces floating away. /end ID]

In the last few pages, we see the scar is gone and the cracks are back, and even more of him is breaking away, including parts of his eye. It's especially bad in the last image, with even more pieces of him breaking away.

Also noteworthy is that the static texture behind him seems to be the same as the blood sample the US government took from him in the 1940s. He's bleeding.

We know from context that these images are meant to be taken somewhat chronologically. After dying (or nearly dying), Bill seeks out the Axolotl, who sends him to the Theraprism. While there, he writes the journal that he's beaming to us. The staff at the Theraprism catch onto this, and allow him to write out the last few pages, meaning those last few pages are chronologically the last of Bill we see.

This means that, after the events of the show, Bill was shattered... and then, upon entering the Theraprism, started to heal, his body coming together and scars forming... but at some point afterward, he started breaking apart again.

I'd made a post previously about Bill's development, how he views himself as a monster after the Euclidian Disaster, and how he continues to act monstrous afterward (and winds up agonizingly lonely as a result). I didn't really touch on this in the post, but I feel like after inadvertently destroying his home dimension...

Bill never left the denial phase of grief.

I could be wrong on this, but I get the feeling that part of his reason for acting monstrous toward just about everybody is because he sees himself as a monster, because "this is just how I am" is easier to accept than "I really really screwed up."

Bringing this back to his shattering... It's interesting to me that after entering the Theraprism, his body is scarring, which means it is healing. But then, at the end, as he's signing off the book, he's shattered again, and looking even worse than he did when talking to the Axolotl. When talking this over with a friend, they pointed out something that struck me:

Bill does not want to heal.

Healing means having to actually think through what happened. It means having to confront his past, confront destroying his home dimension, confront the harm he caused to others, confront the fact that he did not have to be this way.

And he refuses to do that.

He refuses to heal.