Valeriannnnnn - Valerian

back by unpopular demand: me

Workshopping a fnaf au for twewy so stay tuned for that one lads :)

"Kill them with kindness" Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK* 🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏

moreover, i'd like to briefly add - in an admittedly more unstructured addition - that this issue surrounding how we conceptualise masculinity as inherently malevolent also hurts queer people as well.

even if we choose to decide that we have no concerns about how this can - and does - hurt men (which, personally, is not something i can agree with), it cannot be ignored how this affects queer people by proxy.

when we assert masculinity is inherently toxic, we therefore, whether intentionally or not, implicitly assert that those who are connected to masculinity in any way are similarly toxic - or are at least, by nature of their proximity masculinity, inherently more 'dangerous.'

this is the type of essentialist logic that paints transgender women as predatory or inexorably socialised as male for no reason other than having committed the 'original sin' of being born a boy; this is the same type of essentialist logic that asserts that transgender men are, by nature of identifying with masculinity, somehow 'dangerous' to women (please, i encourage you to read the many posts discussing this transandrophobia); this is the essentialist logic that leads to bisexual women being seen as 'dirty' through this puritan lens of evaluating their attraction and love of men as somehow 'tainting' them; this is the essentialist logic that presumes butches are, by their masculine nature, 'aggressive' or 'rougher' than femmes.

it's easy to fall victim to these ideas - and it doesn't inherently make you a bad person - but it's important to critically examine and sit with our conceptualisations of masculinity, gender, and gender essentialism so that we can grow beyond them.

i’ve been thinking a lot lately about AI and its use in pornography, specifically in the seemingly gendered approach to it. Broadly speaking, there is a sort of ‘binary’ to the demographics of AI Pornography; men, typically, gravitate towards AI Images while women tend to gravitate more towards AI erotic roleplay (such as Chai and similar platforms which permit 18+ roleplay, unlike CharacterAI, generally speaking). While the gendered differences in consumption of pornography have been discussed and analysed before, I’m particularly interested in the broader implications of the intersection of AI and roleplay within pornography as I feel it differs from the traditional erotica-focused/text-focused pornography that many women gravitate towards, which I feel indicates a broader social pattern.

Particularly, what fascinates me about this is how much of this roleplay isn’t simply action-based (i.e., focused solely on sex) but rather more narrative-based (i.e., a specific dynamic - a mafia husband who’s secretly falling for you, a demon boyfriend courting his angel girlfriend, a prince smitten with a princess, and so on), which speaks to a broader desire for emotional connection.

Simply put, a cursory glance at these bots suggests that the user demographic seeks more than just sex - they seek connection.

Now, on its own this is not inherently surprising nor new - many women tend to prefer to feel ‘desired’ or ‘courted’ by their partners - but rather, I think that the broader social context that we see this interest evolving in is noteworthy. I think it is fundamentally linked to a larger social dynamic of the growing social gaps between men and women.

Over the past several years, particularly since the start of the pandemic, men in many countries have shifted towards more conservative and reactionary viewpoints; men overwhelmingly vote conservatively, many men have become far more outspoken in their misogynistic viewpoints, and many men have overwhelmingly demonstrated themselves to not be a desirable partner - be it due to politics, unequal contributions to domestic labour, disinterest in female sexual pleasure, or a litany of other factors.

Moreover, as the rate of female college graduates continues to rise - while the male rate declines - and womens’ overall growth in careers, mental health, education, income, and similar categories catches up to - or outright outpaces - mens’ performance, more and more women have seemed to developed a growing awareness that, simply put, being in a relationship with a man frankly does not offer the same benefits as it once did.

In reaction to this, many - though not all, of course - men have reacted negatively, instead doubling down on these behaviours rather than seeking to improve, which, in turn, has resulted in many women de-centering and de-prioritising men.

Concurrent to this, we’ve seen the rapid development and evolution of AI, which almost offers an escape - the ability to instead find fulfillment from an ‘AI Boyfriend’ - who’ll never leave dishes by the sink or ignore your pleasure - which I think contributes to this divide. Fundamentally, if you still desire companionship, at least in the vaguest of senses, you can satisfy it momentarily through the virtual embrace of AI.

Now, this isn’t to blame women for such a pivot - it’s wholly understandable why, given the above reasons, a woman might decide that remaining single isn’t that bad of an option - but I think it nonetheless requires discussion as we stare down the question of what happens when a large portion of the population may not end up in a relationship?

Regardless of what side of the issue an individual falls on, the question nonetheless retains its gravity. Fundamentally, whether or not we view men as wholly or in part at fault for this social trend in women choosing to remain single, we must consider how this affects men.

For example, if we take a group of 100 heterosexual men and estimate that 20% of them will not end up in a relationship, that leaves 20 men effectively isolated - particularly when we look at statistics of male friendships. Now, if we assume that 40% of them are unable to find a partner for ‘self-induced’ reasons - such as holding misogynistic views, for instance - that nonetheless leaves 12 seemingly ‘decent’ men single.

Now I’m not arguing that those 12 individuals are entitled to a relationship nor that they are obligated to be ‘given a chance,’ but rather I think we must ask ourselves: what happens to those overlooked individuals? It’s not sufficient to simply say “sucks to be you” as, ultimately, humans will still desire connection. Moreover, when we look at the systems that target these men - pipelines of radicalisation, such as the Far-Right - we fundamentally need to consider the outcomes of these circumstances.

I’m not positioning myself as a ‘defender of men’ here, but I fundamentally believe that we should not just abandon a segment of the population for no reason other than their gender. While, yes, the onus does ultimately fall on men as a whole to build up spaces and connections to combat this isolation, we nonetheless have to consider, as progressives, what will we do in response to this? Will we simply abandon these individuals, telling them to effectively ‘figure it out’ and leave them to search for communities, many of which implicitly push them out?

Fundamentally, I feel that that is an issue that pervades many progressive spaces; there is this tendency to engage in rhetoric outwardly hostile towards men and then be surprised that men are broadly disinterested in these spaces.

Now, I’m not arguing that we should placate and centre men - much of this rhetoric comes from people and groups who have understandable reasons to be distrustful of men, given the unfortunately too-common experiences of male violence - but we must nonetheless consider how we communicate this. To put it bluntly, we cannot reasonably expect men to happily sit by and be told they are fundamentally evil due to their gender; rather, we should try to find a reconcile our justifiable anger towards patriarchial violence while still offering space to men.

This doesn’t mean that we have to blindly tolerate patriarchial views and attitudes - fundamentally, I believe that everyone, regardless of who they are, should be held accountable and encouraged to grow - but instead we should open ourselves to a more intersectional perspective that considers that we are all victims of patriarchial violence.

Obviously, I’m not trying to equivocate between individual experiences of patriarchial violence and present them as all equal; instead, I’m simply positing that, in our ever-divided society, extending empathy to others is beneficial to reactionary ideology when we can.

In closing, I feel the words of Bell Hooks communicate my point much better than I ever could:

“To create loving men, we must love males. Loving maleness is different from praising and rewarding males for living up to sexist-defined notions of male identity. Caring about men because of what they do for us is not the same as loving males for simply being. When we love maleness, we extend our love whether males are performing or not. Performance is different from simply being. In patriarchal culture males are not allowed simply to be who they are and to glory in their unique identity. Their value is always determined by what they do. In an anti-patriarchal culture males do not have to prove their value and worth. They know from birth that simply being gives them value, the right to be cherished and loved.” - Bell Hooks, “The Will To Change”

this pride month I am wishing everyone a very stop overanalyzing yourself and just have fun with it. have gay sex. don't have any sex. try on a new gender. stop caring about gender at all. talk to your doctor about hormones. go on a date. break up with the person you dont love. whatever it is you have been putting off doing by dithering about it in your head. just do that and fully experience how it feels without trying to put it into words. if you still need a word for it later there will be one. they aren't going anywhere. but people were here before language and there's only so far language can go in giving you a fulfilling human experience. so if you are hiding behind finding the right words for whatever it is your heart wants i hope this month you get the courage to just do it instead.

I think that it's really important for people to realize that being disabled is traumatic. genuinely. your body and brain feel like they are breaking down and wrong. you are in constant heavy stress from stuff like chronic pain. most disabled people i know have a somewhat regular emotional break down from the trauma of it all. and we are expected to just smile through it by society, to not be in the way, to not be an issue.

explicit sexual content, a bit of dark content. contains gn! reader, obsession, stalking, allusions to xavier accidentally killing mc's grandma and best friend (caleb)🧌 the both of you live in townhouses instead of an apartment. written on mar. '24

perv!xavier who always pries into your private life, subtly asking for more details.

perv!xavier who shares his clearance with you and offers to drop you home just so he can know your current location. perv!xavier, who just so happens to be walking past your home and stops to say hi to you-- through your window while you face away from him, towel the only thing covering his body.

xavier's the soft-spoken, sleepy boy you befriend and, as you get closer, allows you to rely more and more on him when it comes to your issues. he could never give you a good solution though, eyes taking glances at your collarbones and stomach that peeks out whenever you stretch in that white fluffy sweater he gifted you. focusing on your lips, he eventually nods to whatever it is you're saying in "understanding."

the more he got closer to you, the more his life took a downward spiral. he was a good guy who was always focused on saving people-- saving the world. but when you found him on that mission, he just couldn't get enough of you and no matter how hard he tried to stay away, you two would always cross paths. xavier became more interested with every interaction. he craved to see you more and more so here he was-- just outside your home. he wasn't stalking you... you told him where you lived and said specifically to "come by whenever" he wanted. and that's just what he did.

your towelled body becomes bare as you push yourself up onto the bed, laying on your stomach while your legs move back and forth in the air as you smile and giggle. xavier's eyebrows twitch and his eyes darken as his nails dig into his skin. what were you so damn happy about? to be honest, xavier was ready to kill anyone who set his hands on you. it's not like it wouldn't be the first time, though, he would make certain, unlike before, there would be no casualties involved, not that you had anyone left after the first incident.

xavier spots you rolling onto your stomach. your fingers trace down your body, sending shivers down your spine before you fuck yourself onto them. xavier follows suit, unzipping his pants and stroking his cock. he watches you intently, looking at the way your mouth forms words-- said word being xavier. the slow sounding out of it and the fact that you called out his name throws him for a loop as he cums right then and there, a choked whine leaving him.

looking at the mess on his hand, he pouts, a bit annoyed he couldn't last longer. he looks back up to spot you still at work, your phone now resting on your bed. focusing his eyes, xavier stares at the electronic device to see the displayed photo of said boy outside your window, previously in the comfort of his own home with his shirt held by his teeth while he pumped at his cock.

nightlight.

xavier [沈星回] + female reader

synopsis. you have a wet dream.

genre & contents. 18+! MDNI! pure smut, porn no plot…, threesome (lol), oral (receiving + giving), p in v, established relationship. wc; 1.2k+

author's note. um… i don't even know how to explain this one. the idea just popped into my mind and i had to write it before i exploded. enjoy <3

Gloved hands caress your inner thigh slowly.

Your eyes flutter, a soft sigh escaping your bitten lips. His fingers hook onto the waistband of your sleep shorts, pulling them down in one swift motion. Your back arches off the bed, feeling his breath dangerously close to your wetness.

“I’ve barely touched you, angel,” he moans softly, hiking your legs over his shoulders. The white jacket he wears is cold against your warm skin. You can’t find the words to speak, only gasping in response when he pulls your panties to the side.

His hands grip your thighs; a tender, slow flick of his tongue that makes you thrust your hips up, entirely too impatient with his lack of urgency. He chuckles lowly at your shameless need. Another agonizing swipe of his tongue, and your hands come up to grip his silver hair.

“Nnngh— s-stop teasing m-me.” you plead, looking at his blue eyes, adorned by an ornate mask. His eyes glimmer with the moonlight seeping through your bedroom window.

“But I like hearing you beg for me.” he whispers, and you can feel every word against your dripping cunt. You sigh, making your frustration known. But you sense it only serves to indulge him.

“P-please,” you implore once again, this time his fingers coming up to toy with you.

“Mmm,” his gaze is heavy, admiring the sight before him. “Okay, angel. You know I can’t resist you.”

He steadies you, lapping at your dripping folds like a man starved. You’re writhing, moaning and pulling at his strands. He’s relentless, holding you down in place as he guides you towards your sweet release. You’re close, so close—

“Y/N?”

You still, turning towards your bedroom door where the sound of your boyfriend’s voice was heard. Your eyes widen, choking on your words.

“X-xavier?!” you gasp, coming up onto your elbows. You stare at him in disbelief, turning back to the man in between your legs. How… how could it be…?

Xavier walks towards the bed, hand coming to hold the back of your head. His face is inches away, pink lips tempting you. He’s completely covering your vision, but a small kiss to your thigh reminds you of the other him.  

Lumiere.

“So greedy,” Xavier whispers, pulling your head back. “You really need two of me?”

“I…” The words die on your tongue as the man below you hits a particular spot with his tongue.

“I can please you just fine.”

Xavier’s eyes darken, jaw clenching. He pulls you in, lips crashing against yours in a fervorous kiss. You moan, melting into his touch. It’s easy to lose yourself with him; you don’t even notice the absence between your legs until another hand grabs your jaw.

You barely have time to register what’s happening, Lumiere’s lips replacing Xavier’s. You wonder how they could feel the same but be so different. His kiss is rougher, messy and wet. He’s more controlling, guiding your tongue with his own. 

Xavier growls behind you, climbing over you and wrapping your legs around his hips. He grinds into you, his hard cock barely contained by his sweatpants. You moan into Lumiere’s mouth.

“Over here, angel.” 

You pull away, a string of saliva falling from your lips as you turn to look at your boyfriend. Beside you, there’s a dark chuckle. What the hell was happening? You were too turned on to question it further. 

Xavier revels in your redirected attention, pulling his sweatpants down. His cock slaps his skin, red and throbbing for you. You bite your lip, unconsciously spreading your legs wider. Your dripping cunt is ready for him, but you're pulled away before you can feel him inside.

You squeak at the sudden movement, Lumiere’s strong arms pulling your head to the edge of the bed. He stands over you, a slight smirk on his face as he pulls his own pulsing length free. Your eyes widen, mouth falling slightly agape.

“I want my fun, too.” He brings his tip to your lips, and you part them without question.

Below, Xavier grabs your legs once again, spreading you open and teasing your pussy with his tip. You moan, and Lumiere takes it as an opportunity to bury his cock deeper into your mouth. A light slap against your thigh, a reminder of where to keep your attention.

“Mmmmph!” 

Xavier pushes into you slowly, inch by inch. The stretch makes you arch your back, moaning sweetly against the cock in your mouth.

“Fuck, angel,” Xavier groans once he’s fully inside. You tighten around him. “It’s like you were made for me.”

Then they pull their hips back, slamming back into your gaping holes. Moaning and whining with every brush against your throat, every stretch of your walls. You’re turned into a mess under their unabated pounding. 

Drool is dripping out of your mouth, Lumiere’s cock hitting the back of your throat with every stroke. Tears pool in your eyes, but you don’t pull away, his low groans encouraging you to take him even deeper.

Xavier holds you in place, nails digging into the sides of your thighs as he slides in and out of you. He’s whining, your tight walls coaxing him back every time he pulls away. You’re being completely defiled by them, but you don’t want them to stop.

Their thrusts are sloppy now, a sign they were close. And so were you.

“Hey!”

You ignore the little voice, trying to focus on the coil tightening in your belly. Xavier feels good, so good inside of you. 

“Hey!”

The voice is persistent, and suddenly you find your mouth empty. Lumiere nowhere to be seen.

“Hey, wake up!”

You groan, squirming away from the hands shaking your body. Flipping over, you yelp, falling over the edge of the bed.

“Ow!”

You rub your shoulder, opening your eyes to see that you’re no longer in your bedroom. Instead, it’s your boyfriends. The blue moonlight is gone, replaced by sunlight peeking through the white curtains. Sitting up, you look around, only to find Xavier looking at you with concern.

He’s on the bed, sheets pulled over his waist. Definitely not the boyfriend that was fucking you stupid.

“You okay?” he asks, voice laced with sleep. 

“Uh… what happened?” your voice is raspy. You stand to grab the glass of water by your bedside table, chugging it like it was the only water left on earth.

All you can do is nod and swallow, suddenly very aware of the wetness sticking to your underwear.

“I think you were having a nightmare. You kept mumbling my name in your sleep.” he pouts, tapping the space next to him.

You give in, crawling back into bed and into his warm embrace. Xavier caresses your cheek gently, and you can’t help the way your face heats at the lingering memory of your dream. 

“What was it about?” 

You nuzzle your head in his chest, unable to face him directly. He places a barely there kiss on the crown of your head.

“I don’t… I don’t even remember.” you lie, but he doesn’t press further. Soon his breathing slows, and he’s asleep once again.

You close your eyes, willing your mind to go back to that beautiful moonlit room with Xavier.

And Lumiere, of course.

Hair Wash [read on AO3]

For XavMC Week 2025 ( @xavmc-week )

Day 2: Domesticity

(🔞 slight nsfw at the end)

In which, after a long mission, you decide to comfort Xavier by washing his hair.

Little did you know, it would lead to other consequences..

“You..wanna help wash my hair?”

Xavier stares at your adorable figure, standing in the doorway of the bathroom. He has just returned from a classified mission and is in the process of unbuttoning his shirt when you walk in with the proposal. He isn’t averse to the idea. Rather he’d welcome any form of skin contact if it’s you but the fact that this is the first time you’ve suggested doing something like this makes him slightly suspicious.

He tilts his head and frowns. “Am I being pranked?”

You giggle as you head to the cabinet and pull out your bottle of shampoo. “Xavier, you look like a bunny who rolled around in the mud. I simply wanna help clean up.”

“Well then, you can wash my hair but, ” He scratches his cheek and smiles, a playful threat in his eyes, “..know that this bunny will bite if you try anything funny.”

You shake your head and gesture with your hand for him to come over to the bathtub. The smile never leaves his face as he deftly undoes the last few buttons on his shirt and discards it, followed by the black turtleneck to reveal the muscular build of his torso. The sight still makes you shy like a schoolgirl so you avert your eyes and dip a finger in the tub to assess the temperature of the water instead.

“Okay just..”

When you crane your head back, you find him clad in nothing but his boxers. Your eyes involuntarily travel south and the apparent bulge shouldn’t surprise you, considering the fact that you have already seen the real thing in action, but it does. A heated blush blooms upon your face as he makes his way to you and settles into the tub, completely oblivious to the effect he has on you.

While he adjusts himself in the tub, he’s quiet but not uncomfortable. Rather, his eyes seem to be twinkling like a cat that got the cream. And his body is positively glowing like a radiant star. “I’m ready.”

It’s impossible to believe he suspected you of pranking him just a moment ago when he looks like the happiest bunny right now. You take up the hand shower’s cord and gently pour water on his hair.

“Close your eyes, lean back, and relax.”

He obliges.

You let your fingers run through the strands to evenly wet his hair, and he hums in approval. The sight makes you smile, and you proceed to squeeze out a generous amount of the shampoo in your palm. Then slowly, you massage the liquid into his hair and scalp, earning another sound of approval, this one deeper.

“Glad you’re enjoying this.”

“I am.” His reply is a breathy whisper, barely audible because of your proximity. And his cheeks are flushed a pretty hue of pink. Who knew he’d be enjoying something so simple so much?

You continue on, massaging his scalp for another minute before taking up the shower cord again. “Eyes closed, okay?”

He doesn’t respond but his eyes are closed regardless so you spray his hair with water, and begin rinsing off the shampoo. Your fingers card through his wet, silvery locks to make sure the lather isn’t left anywhere.

After you are done, you stand up to grab a towel but before you can take a step, his wet hand comes up to grasp your wrist. “Wait! You’re done already?”

His eyes are open now, big and blue and disappointed.

“Um..yeah..” You shrug. “It’s done.”

“But I just..”

He tugs at your wrist and due to the wet, soapy floor, you end up slipping, your face smacking right on his half-submerged torso.

“Ugh..Xavier you!”

Clumsily, you try to sit up, and in the process, your hand glides down, accidentally landing on something firm. Immediately you retract your hand and stare at him, face flushed beyond words.

“Is that..are you..?”

He passes a hand through his hair, the other leaving your wrist to instead wrap around your waist, and properly draw you on top of him in the tub. His eyes are heavily lidded and voice hoarse as he asks, “What if I am?”

You are too stunned for words. The article you read online only talked about this being an act of intimacy and domesticity between couples. And it’s not that you aren’t flattered but you had no idea this could turn sexual.

You punch his chest lightly. “I was only trying to help you relax!”

“And you’re doing so well.” His thumb easily unfurls your fist and he guides your palm back under the suds to rest over the outline of his obvious length confined within the boxers.

“Now..” He runs the back of his other hand over your cheek and smirks. “..finish what you started.”

hope you liked this ficlet ♡

i don’t think i have much time to write full-length fics but i atleast wanna write short moments of intimacy for each prompt, and participate!

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