This is such an accurate description of how I was raised
I know it's useless to ruminate, but I've been thinking about the way I was raised, and the indirect ways I was taught that the rules and standards are different for me and for other people.
I was taught to never judge anyone, but also that I should not embarrass my family by acting or appearing any way that people would judge. I was taught that it was rude of me to talk on and on about things that are boring, but also that it was rude of me to not listen attentively when someone else was talking on and on about things that bore me. That people were allowed to take their anger out on me, but that I was not allowed to be angry at anyone or anything. That everyone's feelings are vaild and their actions are understandable, except for mine of course.
If they ever heard me say this, my family would argue "nobody ever explicitly said that to you, word-for-word, at your face, so therefore none of this is true", but they did, indirectly and inadvertently, teach me that I must always be nice, patient, polite, understanding, and good to people, but that it's preposterous of me to expect anyone else to treat me as nicely as I'm expected to treat them.
I was taught what is, and what is not, the appropriate way to treat other people, and to unconsciously understand that I don't really count as "people".
Me: I don't get it. I thought I was doing a lot better than I was a few years ago. I'm like 10 times more on top of things than I used to be. How does everything feel terrible now?
The Tiny Me in OSHA-approved Hi-Vis Gear Who lives in my brain and pulls all the levers: Boss, it's the fascism. You're completely gunked up with cortisol due to the fact that your entire daily life is now underscored with a haunting awareness of the rapid erosion of your rights, dignity, and any and all social safety nets, and you're also bearing witness to the most vulnerable people immediately being persecuted. This creates a natural stress response that basically means you're going to continue having memory and organizational problems, as well as emotional imbalances.
Me: BUT I HAVE A BULLET JOURNAL AND I MEDITATE NOW.
Tiny OSHA Me: BOSS, THE FASCISM.
#Need more baseball Bajorans
imagine a bajoran teenager living on ds9 who's trying to decide what to do with her life and feels compelled to get closer to the Emissary, but gets the sense that Sisko is a little uncomfortable with being approached in that way, and she's a little young to join the bajoran military and try to get stationed under him, so she looks for another pretense to like have a conversation with him or something
and she overhears Jake talking about playing baseball with his dad, and maybe at the temple she overhears Kira talking about going to the holosuites with them for a baseball game, and she gets the sense that baseball is Important
so she gets up her courage and approaches him on the promenade some time when he doesn't seem too busy, like "excuse me Emissary, I wonder if you would allow me to ask a favor of you."
and Sisko tries not to look like he's steeling himself
"I would like to learn about Baseball."
and he gets this big grin. and tells her what day and time to show up to Quark's for the next time he and Jake are gonna play (and ngl maybe part of him is thinking she's closer to Jake's age than Mardah is...)
and like as they're doing warmups, and she's taking things Very Seriously trying to learn the ropes, Sisko makes an offhanded comment about how Cestus III would be the place to be if you really wanted to get immersed in the sport. and of course she takes this a lot more seriously than he meant it. like a direction in life given to her from the Prophets, directly from their Emissary.
so after all of one (1) time playing baseball in a holosuite she approaches Kassidy to learn more about Cestus III and works like a short internship under her to earn passage there. and shows up in like Pike City or someplace like "hi, does anyone around here hire non-federation citizens? i don't care what type of job. also when are baseball tryouts?"
and like after several years spent getting good, bc she approaches the sport with y'know religious devotion, she returns to her people. and starts a training camp on Bajor that's like basically a monastery. like teenagers who want to pursue religious studies but can't sit still long enough to have hope of becoming a ranjen, they get sent to her to learn to practice Baseball
like imagine a young adult with a really elaborate earring and also like the baseball shoes and the short pants tucked into tall socks going "you know, waiting for a sign from the Prophets is a lot like playing left field..."
My father hates the idea of accommodating me so much he is willing to risk his own health and safety. I have issues processing audio, so I got him an emergency button that pushes to my phone in case I can't hear him calling for help. He refuses to use it and is livid every time I don't hear him. Find out, I guess.
These are all the reasons I wear capes!
Everybody knows and loves Spock's cunty black cape from Return of the Archons. While the rest of the crew's disguises are more or less congruent with each other and with the planet's natives, Spock is the only caped bitch on the entire fucking planet as far as we can see. There are other, more fitting, in-universe ways to cover his ears. He had no right to be serving this much cunt with this look.
So the question I usually see is: Did Spock pick this look for himself? And is he this weird because he's a Vulcan? Or is he, individually, just this extra? Here is the secret third thing: This cape is the PERFECT accessory for an autistic person.
Feeling overstimulated? Raise the hood; it works like blinders on a horse.
Feeling understimulated? It swishes around like a princess dress when you move. Spinning optional.
It's not as tight around the body as a jacket, so it keeps you warm without having to feel a structured jacket all over you while you're trying to go about your day. Meanwhile, the part around the top of the head is just structured enough that it's not touching your face or falling off all the time.
It's a good conversation starter. If you want people to talk to you but you don't know what to say, this cape is guaranteed to get their attention and get the conversation going.
Have issues around being perceived? This one is a little harder to understand; but when you have a cape like this, people notice the cape instead of noticing you. There is a freedom in it. It's why a lot of autistic people are into cosplay.
Also, it helps with that "why are they staring at me" anxiety. They are staring because I am beautiful and mysterious and elegant and wearing a fucking cape.
In conclusion, I really hope Spock kept this cape and wore it on other occasions that we don't see on-screen. Also, I will be buying one for myself in the near future.
Wish I had these words a few weeks ago. Had the concept, but words are hard in the moment
*grabs your hands and speaks to you in a tone that is so gentle* they/them pronouns stop being universal once you learn a person's pronouns. Sometimes that person's pronouns will include they/them and in that specific case you are allowed to keep using those pronouns for that person. In any case where you learn a persons pronouns and that person doesn't use they/them, you should no longer use those pronouns for that person. If you continue to use they/them pronouns knowing that person doesn't use them, you are now misgendering that person. Kindly stop doing that please. Thank you, I love you.
star trek: deep space nine s4e05 "rejoined" / "good luck, babe!" by chappell roan
everyone clap and say hooray for my lesbian awakeninggg
Essentials.
Crying thinking about Spocks mom reading Alice in wonderland to him idk don’t talk to me.
something something yellow and blue are complementary colours something something Jim is his light something something homosexual
Spirk is so gay it can't be accessed by corporate marketing for capital, actually.
Things that DO NOT define your self worth
Jean size
Relationship status
Absence or presence of a thigh gap
What others think of you