Read part one first!
Clay and Maggie exchanged worried looks, neither wanting to waver in their loyalty to Jack. Part of you respected the fact that they were keeping their loyalty a focus, but the other part of you was beyond frustrated.
Clay ended up joining Maggie and staying for a few days, making himself comfortable on your pull-out couch.
An overwhelming feeling of sorrow overcame you on your last night together, the four of you had spent the last few days bonding and making memories at home. Emmett felt the sadness too, as he was fussier than normal. His loud cries echoed in the house as you bounced him in your arms, eventually calming him down enough to put him in his baby swing for a nap.
Maggie insisted on cooking as she stood at the stovetop to made dinner, immediate flashbacks of your life with Jack flooded your mind. You remembered all of the times he’d rush home from a late night at the studio and make a grilled cheese for the both of you and how you’d stay up laughing for hours on end when you both couldn’t sleep.
Your eyes filled with tears, you had done so well at suppressing your emotions while Clay and Maggie were around not wanting them to feel caught in the middle more than they already were but tonight was the hardest.
Jack was trying to reach Maggie all evening, frantically calling her no less than 10 times. He had a meeting with his lawyers and was told you would be receiving a subpoena on behalf of his ongoing court case. It was news they tried to approach him with extreme softness, knowing you were a sensitive topic but regardless he didn’t handle it well.
The lawyers he hired looked to him with sympathy, letting him know they exhausted all other avenues and that they would pick back up tomorrow as theyvwere done for the day.
Jack stayed alone in the room to collect himself for a moment. He had tried to shield you from all of this, but you were his fiancé at the time of the embezzlement so nothing was off the table. He had successfully kept the story out of the limelight, but that was no doubt going to change soon and he was overwhelmed with emotions.
Jack wasn’t able to reach Maggie, she was always his sense of comfort and the person he turned to for advice. It was rare for her to miss calls from him but she was more removed from her phone because she was around you and her grandson.
When Jack realized her location was off, he grew increasingly concerned and decided to call his dad for clarification.
Brian wasn’t the best liar and didn’t convince Jack in the slightest that his mom was out of town for a work-related conference. He sighed and quickly decided to call Clay to see if he had any insight into why their mom wasn’t answering his calls.
You watched Clay's phone buzz against the coffee table as dinner was still being made, Jack's contact name and photo appearing immediately.
“Clay- ummm your brother’s calling you” You picked his phone up, handing it to him. Your hands trembled at the possibility of hearing his voice.
Clay nervously answered, stepping outside to take the call. Within minutes he was back inside with a nervous look on his face, he had nonchalantly tossed his phone on the counter and didn’t say a word to either you or Maggie.
You could see that you were putting both Maggie and Clay in a compromising position, and you were worried that this would affect Emmett's relationship with them in the long run.
A wave of impulsion came over you, grabbing his phone and answering it as Jack's contact lit up the screen once more.
“Dude, why the fuck are you hanging up on me? I need you right now” Jack was yelling, his breathing short and shallow.
“Hey, sorry, it’s not Clay” you sighed into the phone wondering if he would recognize your voice immediately.
Maggie and Clay stayed focused on you, Emmett was babbling in his baby swing and you mouthed to Clay to keep an eye on him as you walked outside to sit on your back patio.
Jack felt like the wind got knocked out from underneath him. He was beyond panicked and hearing your voice was not what he was at all expecting.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” you mirrored back, truthfully not going into this conversation with any kind of a game plan, as you anxiously picked at your nails.
“Why are you with my family?” he was beyond confused but admittedly happy to hear your voice after all this time.
“Just because we ended things doesn’t mean they have to” You let out an awkward giggle hoping to break some tension.
He laughed too, which gave you an opening.
“We have a lot to talk about but I’d rather do it in person” You didn’t feel like it was morally right to drop the “you have a son” bomb over the phone.
“I agree but I also have to tell you something now” Jack coughed nervously, his throat felt dry knowing he had to say things to you that he had been keeping a secret.
“Go ahead.” You could tell he was nervous by the tone of his voice.
Jack took a seat on his barstool in his house, “The night before we were supposed to get married I found out that someone on my team was stealing money from me.”
You slapped a hand over your mouth instinctively as he continued to speak, mentally putting the pieces together. You wondered why he wasn’t naming this person but you saved your questions.
“I’ve been trying to keep you from the embarrassment of all of this but I was told today by my lawyers that you’re going to be subpoenaed.”
Your breath hitched, “subpoenaed? Why me?” You had wondered if they thought you had anything to do with it.
“My lawyers think it would be beneficial if you were a character witness. The courts just want to know if you had witnessed anything while we were together. They want to know if I was lying about any of my finances or doing anything wrong on my end.” Everything he said sounded like one giant run-on sentence, he was nervous to talk to you and ashamed at how he handed things.
“So I’m supposed to go to court and speak to your character?” You stifled a laugh, you were still angry at how things ended, further proving you were still in love with him.
“I know, I’m sorry” he knew what you were subtly referring to.
“Is your girlfriend going to be there? Did she get subpoenaed too?” You couldn’t help but feel a wave of jealousy come over you, you’d blame it on postpartum hormones if you had to, but you knew that was the furthest thing from the truth.
“Heather? She’s not my girlfriend, we have just been hanging out. It’s just PR to make things look good” he wasn’t supposed to admit it to a single soul but he felt like he owed you that much.
“We will fly home with your brother and mom tomorrow and meet you at her house in the evening so we can talk. Sound good?” You hadn’t even realized you started the sentence off with “we” but Jack did, wondering if it was a slip of the tongue and opting not to point it out.
••••
The flight to Kentucky felt excruciatingly long, Emmett was obviously very young, and that made you a nervous wreck about everything.
You had some baby items delivered to Maggie and Brian’s house that way things were set up when you got there. You didn’t expect Jack to already be waiting inside when you arrived.
He was sitting on the family couch with his head in his hands as you noticed the bassinet you had delivered was already put together and sat in front of him.
“How long has he been here?” You whispered to Brian as he softly took Emmett from your arms.
“Long enough to build that bassinet himself” he whispered back and the family agreed to give you both the room, leaving quickly to another room in the large house.
You stood in front of Jack who had only looked up at you now, his eyes were bloodshot and his hands were trembling. Otherwise, he looked handsome as ever, he had been working out, his arms were practically bursting out of his jacket and his hair and beard were fluffy and full.
“Is that for our baby?” He stood up, forgetting how much taller he was than you making you step back at his loud tone.
“Jack- let me explain.”
“It’s a yes or no question, do we have a child together?” He was closer to you now, unaware of how intimidating he may be. He had done the math in his head and it made sense.
You reached your hand out to push him back, “I’m going to need you to sit down if you want to have this conversation with me.”
He stumbled slightly unaware you’d be pushing him off balance, but he sat down on the same couch cushion he had been sitting on when you arrived. He was looking up at you now as you stood in front of him.
“Yes, that's what I wanted to tell you in person” Before you could continue Jack jumped up, ready to go looking for Emmett but you stopped him by standing in front of him.
“Jack, please! Can you just calm down and not go barging in there and scaring your son when you meet him for the first time?” You wanted to get all the animosity out of the way first.
“We have a son?” His face softened, that was the first bit of information he had gotten from you.
“I’ll start answering your questions when you start answering mine” You handed him some tissues out of a box on the side table in the living room.
Jack quickly wiped his drippy nose, collecting himself to answer anything you wanted to know. “Ask me anything.”
“Why didn’t we get married? Did you realize you didn’t love me? That I was too “boring?” You said that last word with air quotes.
“I’ve never stopped loving you, that’s the truth” he swallowed, keeping his eyes on you as you paced around the living room in front of him. You were wearing a long-sleeved purple body suit and black leggings, and new balances, a comfortable airport outfit but he still thought you looked beautiful.
“You’re still deflecting” You had zero patience for his lack of immediate answers.
“I don’t think you’re boring either” he laughed having to clarify. “The night before our wedding I found out that someone was stealing significant amounts of money from me and I didn’t want to get you involved. It was something I should’ve caught a long time ago but with the album and our wedding I was just distracted and it all came crumbling down so fast.”
You finally sat down, across from him as he spoke about the truth for the first time to you.
“Why didn’t you just tell me? It doesn’t make any sense to me. I was your fiancé, we were going to get married!” Your emotions were getting the better of you, as your voice was raised.
“I didn’t know how to tell you. I thought it would be easier if you didn’t know” and it dawned on you why things had become so complicated. Your mind was racing knowing of one possibility that would absolutely break your heart.
“My sister? Is it my sister?” You started to piece everything that had happened within the last year together now.
Your sister was already working for Jack and was the reason you two had met in the first place, this was her first “big girl job” and you and your family had assumed she was finally getting her life together.
Jack nodded confirming what you suspected, tears rolling down his cheeks.
When Jack called off your engagement, your sister stopped speaking to you and your parents, claiming you ruined all opportunities that came your way and that this would affect the both of you. She wasn’t even aware of your pregnancy, what was meant to be your wedding day was the day you lost both Jack and your older sister.
Your parents were never phased by her absence as she had always had a checkered past, so they never questioned why she disappeared since she had done it so many times before.
“You warned me to keep an eye on her and I just ignored it because she was your sister and I thought my team would catch any inconsistencies. Before the wedding I had them look into everything one last time for the sake of saying I did it but then they found out she was stealing from me and I didn’t know how to tell you…” He started to sob, a weight had been lifted telling you the truth but he felt regretful for missing out on so much. He was attempting to ramble through his tears as you stood up from your seat to approach him, kneeling to hold him as his muscular frame shook in your arms.
Jack loosely wrapped his arms around your body as you slowly stood up and instinctively wrapped yourself around him by sitting on his lap, holding one another through tears.
“I haven’t talked to her since that day. She doesn’t even know about Emmett” You nervously played with a stray curl, making him look up at you.
“His name is Emmett?” A small smile broke across his face, a twinkle in his bloodshot eyes that wasn’t there before appeared.
“Do you want to meet him?” You slowly stood up, embarrassingly realizing you had made it into his lap.
Jack nodded and you both walked down the hallway, lightly knocking on the door as Jack nervously followed behind you.
Maggie carefully handed Emmett to you. Jack made sure he was sitting down before you let him hold Emmett, the family leaving you both alone once again.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” He sniffled as he looked down at his son who was fast asleep after a long day of crying.
“You had already decided you didn’t want to be married, you told me you didn’t love me and that you needed to be with someone on your level. Why would I force you to pick me or raise a family with me for that matter?”
“You know now that wasn’t true right?” He finally looked up from Emmett to look at you. “Did you know that you were pregnant when…?” He didn’t want to finish that sentence and you knew that.
“I didn’t, not until a few weeks later” you shrugged, moving the blanket down from Emmett’s chin.
“He looks just like me” Jack chuckled, looking at you sympathetically “Sorry about that.”
You laughed, feeling the tension slowly dissipate at his comment. “It’s okay, it made me feel close to you.”
Jack smiled, finding comfort in the fact that you said that. “I’m sorry that I made things worse. I thought I was helping by keeping you from it and I didn’t know you were pregnant or that would’ve changed how I reacted.”
“Would it?” You were still hurt, and trying to suppress your need to subtly throw jabs at him.
“Yes, and I’m sorry” he couldn’t manage to say anything else, knowing he didn’t have a rebuttal.
“Anything I can do to make this easier, I will. If I have to go to court for you, I’ll do it. I always would’ve” You wanted that to be clear.
“I didn’t think it was fair of me to ask that of you. I tried everything to keep this out of your life” he sighed and you heard a knock on the door, Clay was wheeling the bassinet into the room for the both of you.
“Thank you” you hummed as he nodded and quickly left. You helped Jack carefully set Emmett down inside of it, his paternal instincts quickly kicking in as he sat on the bed next to the bassinet to keep a close eye.
“It’s not just about you and me anymore. You’re his dad and I want to make sure you’re okay. I’ll do whatever I have to and we can meet with your lawyers tomorrow” You sat on the bed beside him.
“Even if it means testifying against your sister?”
“I don’t have a sister as far as I’m concerned” you spoke to him as blunt as you could about that, wanting him to know you meant it.
“She stole a lot of money, and will likely go to prison for a long time. What if your parents don’t agree with your decision?” Jack was worried you’d change your mind once family weighed in.
“My parents won’t be upset with me, my sister has been causing chaos in their lives since she was a teenager. If anything they’ll just be happy you know about Emmett” You smiled, looking at your baby who was sound asleep.
“I just don’t want to lose you again, or him” Jack was immediately in love, but the reality set in quicker than anticipated.
“You won’t. You might want to call your lawyers first thing tomorrow and let them know you have a son though” you laughed, wondering if that would affect anything.
“I’m just glad I can stop hanging out with Heather” Jack nudged you with his shoulder knowing you were jealous when you mentioned her earlier.
“I like the sound of that” You leaned into him with your shoulder. He turned to you, his hands cupped your face as he went in for a kiss, something he had wanted to do from the moment you walked into the house.
Jack leaned back on the bed, grabbing your thighs and pulling you on top of him as Emmett was still asleep nearby.
“Jack- we can’t” you moaned between kisses, missing the touch of his hands more now than before.
“I just want to kiss you” he pleaded between moans, his kisses growing more and more sloppy as you straddled him, your fingers entangled in his curls.
You had no idea you had fallen asleep until Emmett woke you with his cries. Jack immediately rolled over, shushing you to go back to sleep as he kneeled to look for formula in the diaper bag on the floor.
“Do you know what you’re doing?” You whispered as he took a bottle from your bag, a look of worry came over him that you found endearing.
“I’ll show you” You picked Emmett up and held him against your hip as you walked with Jack to the kitchen, showing him the steps and how to test if the milk was too warm.
“I’m sorry you’ve been doing this all alone” he whispered, knowing he had a lot of things to catch up on. He bent down to quickly kiss you before testing the formula on his wrist.
“I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with all of this alone” you replied, referring to his impending court case.
“I wasn’t alone, I had Heather” he teased, making you roll your eyes as he giggled behind you and back to the bedroom.
“Don’t make me fly back home, you’re still on thin ice” you teased back, earning a scoff from Jack.
“Stop playing, this is your home now” he hummed, taking Emmett from you as he fed him for the first time. He flashed you a big bright smile, letting you know he was serious and you found all the comfort you needed in hearing that.
••••••
A/N: Special thanks to @vanwritesfan-fiction for helping me brainstorm the storyline for this part. I appreciate you so much.
pairings: bucky barnes x pregnant!reader
summary: you go against what you and bucky agreed, how will he react?
warnings: angst, pregnant reader, asshole bucky, none more i think?
word count: 1219
a/n: Bucky's a major ass in this but i have part two started if anyone is interested :)
Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :)
I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.
part 2
masterlist
You didn’t mean to mess up this bad, you just wanted a normal day, a day where you could leave the tower alone without an Avenger there to protect you.
You knew what you signed up for when you and Bucky became official. He had told you so many times that being with him put you at risk but you didn’t care, you loved him too much to be without him. He had insisted that since that day you would have someone there to protect you at all times, you knew it was in a loving way it was a lot to handle, and ever since you and Bucky discovered you were pregnant it had only gotten more intense. You knew it was for the better but it was suffocating you, which is why you went to the store alone this morning. It wasn’t far from the tower and you would be back within the hour, surely nothing could happen in that time?
On your walk home your phone started to buzz, and not just once but it kept buzzing until you opened the chat and the messages started loading in. They were from Sam, the first was a picture of you, from just 15 minutes earlier, you were reaching up to the top shelf in the store and your shirt had risen up, making your bump slightly more visible. How someone noticed that you have no idea. The rest of the text messages were fairly calm but the last one made you panic.
Sam
where are you? let me know you’re okay please Y/n are you safe? He doesn’t know yet.
Shit. Bucky was going to be furious at you, he had told you so many times not to go out alone because of this very reason. Now everyone was going to know that you and Bucky had a baby coming. You and Bucky had both agreed that you would keep your pregnancy between as few people as possible, for the baby’s safety and now you’ve compromised that. Only the other Avengers, your family and a couple of friends knew about it.
Unintentionally you slowed your pace for the rest of your walk, sending Sam a quick text to let him know you were safe and on your way back. You were scared to face Bucky but at least you could tell him yourself before he found out online or by Sam.
It doesn’t take long even with your slow pace to get back, you hesitantly push the button for your floor, mentally preparing yourself for facing Bucky. He had been especially insistent on keeping your baby away from the public because of his long list of enemies and being a part of the Avengers meant that list was forever growing.
When the lift dings and the doors open you pause for a second before stepping out, first you check yours and Bucky’s bedroom but it’s empty so you head for the common room. When you walk in Bucky’s there, as well as Sam, Tony, Natasha and Steve. At first glance things look normal, and no one notices you walking in until you speak. “Hi..”
That’s when Bucky turns around, his jaw was clenched together, brows furrowed, anger practically seeping out of him. He knew. You want to apologise but you can’t manage to get any words out. A few seconds pass before Nat’s voice breaks the silence. “Are you okay Y/n?” You nod towards her, fidgeting with your fingers trying to distract yourself from the shouting match you knew was about to begin. You’d seen Bucky angry before but never this much and never because of you.
“Bucky, I’m so-“ You couldn’t finish your sentence before he interrupted you
“Did you not listen to anything I said to you? Did you really just ignore everything? I told you this would happen but what? You just did it anyway?“
“Buc-“ He wouldn’t listen, his words were spilling out of him. He didn’t even know what he was really saying. He was just so scared and angry at himself for not protecting you and your baby.
“You’ve seen what the people we deal with can do and you still acted like a complete idiot.” You could hear muffled sounds of Sam and Nat trying to stop him from going any further but all you could focus on was Bucky’s words.
“No. How could you make such a careless mistake?”
Your eyes were growing wetter with each word he said but you tried to keep yourself composed. You didn’t feel as if you had any right to be upset, you were the one who messed up.
“I wasn’t trying to..” You attempt to interrupt him and defend yourself but at this point you knew that was pointless.
“I mean seriously,” He pauses for a moment, contemplating his next words, “it’s like you don’t care about our baby at all.”
Oh. That one hurt. He had to know you cared right? Your baby was everything to you. Could he really think you didn’t care?
Tony had stayed quiet up until now. “Enough James!” He screeched from behind Bucky, “I won’t let you talk to Y/n like that, either calm down or leave my tower.”
You knew he was going to be angry at you but you were not prepared for this much of it. Bucky stares at you for a few seconds before he walks out, dropping his head down to your stomach and scoffing as he does so. Now it wasn’t just anger you felt from him, it was disappointment too.
You can’t bring yourself to move from the spot you’ve been standing in since you arrived, the only thing breaking you out of your trance was someone’s hand on your shoulder. You weren’t sure who until they spoke. “Y/n? Are you alright?”
It was Sam, you manage to turn to him and stutter out, “I‘m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He brings his hand up to your head and pulls you gently towards him for a much needed hug. “He’s not angry with you, he’s just scared. It’s gonna be okay.”
“I just wanted to do something for myself, I don’t want to have to rely on an Avenger everytime I want to go to the store.”
“I know, he shouldn’t have gotten angry like that. I’m not making any excuses for him but he’s never felt love like he does for you. You and this baby are everything to him, he’s scared to lose you.”
“Do you think he’ll forgive me?” Your voice is quiet, almost too quiet but Sam can just hear you.
“I know he will, he just needs some time to cool down.” You nod your head against Sam’s chest, part of you knew Bucky would forgive you but an even bigger part of you believed you had messed up too bad.
You reach into your bag and take out the small white teddy you bought, when you read the words printed on its tiny outfit you start to cry harder. It read, “Best Dad Ever”, you just hoped Bucky would forgive you so you could give it to him.
If you could go back to this morning and change your decision you would. You just want things back the way they were.
Jinyoung is coming home in 39 days 💚🐥i am so excited to see my man again🎉🥳
Theodore Nott
Theodore freezes, his book forgotten in his lap. A frown creases his brow, but it's laced with worry, not anger.
"Love," he murmurs, his voice a low rumble. "Is everything alright? Did someone force you into that?"
He sets his book down and approaches you slowly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of distress. His possessiveness manifests as a need to protect you, to understand why you'd wear another house's colors.
2-Mattheo riddle
Matteo's eyes narrow the moment you enter the common room. A dark scowl creases his handsome face as he takes in the (not-green) uniform. His possessiveness flares.
He stalks closer, ignoring the curious stares from other Slytherins , his hand reaching out to grip your arm. "Tell me this is some elaborate prank. A way to test my devotion perhaps?" A twisted smile plays on his lips, a dangerous glint in his eyes.
"What. Is. This? Those colors are an insult to your beauty. Only Slytherin green complements you, darling,Change back, darling, before I rip it off you myself .."
Lorenzo Berkshire
Lorenzo's jaw clenches as he sees you. Possessiveness explodes in his eyes.
"What are you doing in those colors?" he he asks, his voice low and husky .
"Get those damn robes off you darling " he demands, his voice rough with desire and possessiveness. "Slytherin green is the only color allowed on this gorgeous body of yours, and I intend to remind you of that fact very thoroughly."
Your soul knows. It will let you know when it's time to distance yourself from people who no longer align with you mentally, emotionally, physically, or energetically.
To protect your ✨peace✨ it is okay to:
Say no.
Cancel plans.
Watch less news.
Stop following accounts that trigger you.
Stop following people IRL who stress you.
Set Rules.
Do things that make you happy and relaxed.
Change your mind.
Honor your boundaries.
Put your needs first.
Spend less time with negative people.
Talk to someone.
Spend time away from electronics.
Text back later.
Walk away.
Take deep breaths to stay calm.
Not over do it.
Take Breaks.
Read or watch things that make you feel good.
Let others know if you're stressed.
Spend time on hobbies you love.
Forgive yourself.
Let yourself have a bad day.
Let go.
(Rafe Cameron x Reader, series, 3k words)
series summary: You'd had a crush on Rafe Cameron since you were six years old, but he friend zoned you at every turn. Once shy and insecure, you found new confidence and self-love after high school. When your high school friends go on a reunion beach trip, Rafe finally sees what he lost, but he isn't going to give you up without a fight.
tropes: unrequited crush, glow up, she fell first/he fell harder
content: some angst, eventual fluff, slow burn, tomfoolery and shenanigans, drinking, fem!reader has occasional insecurity and body image issues
⇢ series masterlist
Your mom called you a late bloomer, and even though you always hated the way she said it, so full of pity and condescension, you couldn’t argue that she was wrong. You were a late bloomer, physically and socially. Your whole childhood and into your teen years, you were painfully insecure, so you tended to hide and shy away from situations that would stretch your comfort zone. You had a good childhood growing up on the ritzy side of the island. But nothing ever felt…complete. You always had this nagging feeling that something was missing, or rather, that you were missing something.
Your older sister, Carter, was the exact opposite of you. She knew who she was from the day she could walk. She developed physically years before you did, even though she was only 18-months your senior. In school, Carter was one grade ahead of you. Everyone knew her, and everyone loved her. She played sports, won class president four years in a row, and was the obsession of every boy in every grade. She was the best known girl on the island, and you were best known as Carter’s sister.
All of these things should’ve been reasons for you to resent her, for the two of you to compete and grow a bitter rivalry, but you were best friends from the start. Carter never made you feel left out or left behind, folding you into her friend group from the time you were kids.
Your mom didn’t have to force Carter to invite you to hang out with her friends, it was always Carter’s idea, dragging you to parties and begging you to keep her company, even though you knew she didn’t need it. She would encourage you to put yourself out there, to leave your books at home and jump in on the fun, assuring you that everyone wanted you around just as much as she did. Carter always saw something in you that you didn’t see in yourself.
From middle school on, Carter casually dated just about every guy in your friend group - Topper, Kelce, several others. She never committed, and they were all fine with having her for just a little bit. There was only one boy she never gave the time of day. The one that she knew was off limits, without you ever really having to tell her, it was just understood.
You had been in love with Rafe Cameron since the moment you first saw him. He was a year above you, in Carter’s grade, and his family lived down the road from yours. You met him on the school bus your first day of kindergarten.
You were so nervous, your mouth going dry as all the kids on the bus looked at you with judging eyes, but Carter just grabbed your hand and pulled you along with her, plopping you into a vinyl seat a few rows from the back. As soon as you sat down, a pair of blue eyes covered by floppy blond bangs popped up over the seat in front of you.
You noticed him right away, eyes wide as his sudden presence startled you, and your cheeks burned bright red for reasons that you didn’t understand yet. The boy didn’t notice your blushing, his attention fully focused on Carter as he reached his hand over the seat and pulled at her braid.
“Quit it, Rafe!” Carter swatted his hand away.
The boy, Rafe, smiled, a small dimple creasing his cheek. You weren’t sure why, but you wished more than anything that he was smiling at you instead. After bugging Carter a little longer, his gaze finally shifted over to you and your eyes shot down nervously to your lap.
“Who is that?” Rafe blurted out, talking about but not to you.
You looked at Carter in panic, tongue-tied as you tried to stammer out your name, which you were struggling to remember. Carter noticed your look of desperation, you were so shy and she had gotten used to speaking for you.
“That’s my sister,” Carter said with pride. “She goes to school with us now.”
“Oh, hi,” Rafe said, polite but unimpressed.
“H-hi,” you managed to squeak out, tucking your hair behind your ears, which were burning red.
Rafe disappeared back into his seat. Carter looked at you, noticing how you were nervously biting your lip, your go to tick when you were nervous. She folded her hand protectively in yours and didn’t let go until she dropped you off at your kindergarten classroom.
This is how your interactions with Rafe would go for the rest of elementary school, and middle school, too. He’d ignore you most of the time, tossing you a word or a look here or there, and you’d melt into an absolute puddle everytime. Your tendency to blush at everything he did never went away, meaning everyone knew you loved him.
Your crush was common knowledge among your sister’s friends, hell among the whole school, but no one dared mention it or tease you about it, lest they tempt Carter’s wrath. But they knew, and you knew they knew, and you knew he knew.
As a freshman, you quickly became first in your class, taking sophomore math and science courses. You ended up in the same first and last period as Rafe, who always struggled in school. After a few weeks of chatting during labs and lending Rafe your notes, you actually started to feel like he had become your friend. He played every sport, and you were right there in the bleachers for every game. Sometimes, when he’d make a great play, he’d look at you in the stands and wink, making your whole body blush, feeling like the most special girl in the world. But then, on his next play, he’d wink at another girl or playfully bow to the cheer squad and it’d make you want to die, suddenly invisible again.
“He’s such a douche,” Carter would nudge you with her elbow, trying to downplay the moment because she knew you were crushed.
You dreaded the day Carter would graduate and leave you at this school alone. You weren’t friends with anyone in your own grade, it seemed the year you were born produced more mean girls and fuck boys than the one before it. Carter would tell you the girls in your grade were just jealous that you got to hang out with her class, but you always thought it was more that they didn’t understand you, and people tend to attack what they don’t understand.
Cassie Bryant was the worst of them. She was the Kook princess of your year, as pretty and popular as anyone could be. From early on, she mastered the art of being mean to you in a way that crushed your spirit but looked totally friendly to everyone else. She’d make backhanded comments like “the way you dress is so…interesting” or “you’re lucky you have so much free time to study, I’m way too busy.”
She was even worse when Rafe was around. It was like Cassie had a radar for when he was finally giving you some attention, and the second you felt comfortable, she’d be there playfully stealing his baseball hat or pouting at him and saying “Rafey, do you have a J?” Then as she pulled him away, she’d laugh at you and say “it’s okay, we know you’re too cool to smoke with us.” No one saw the smug look she’d shoot you as she hung on his arm. You’d try to explain to Rafe why her words hurt you, but he never understood. He’d just shrug and say “that’s just Cassie, she has no filter.”
At least Carter believed you.
“Pick-me bitch,” she’d spit as she watched you watch Cassie steal Rafe away yet again.
You and Rafe saw each other every day. You’d tutor him for tests and help with his homework, you were in advanced classes and he had to retake most of his credits. He’d call you “Einstein” and “smarty pants,” always finding a way to address you without actually using your name. You never thought much of it, convincing yourself that his nicknames were coming from a place of affection. When he wasn’t copying your homework or convincing you to stay up after all of your work was done to help him with his, you found other ways to feel needed. You’d bring him lunch from his favorite spot when he got in-school suspension, bake him brownies before his big games, and give him rides to all his practices since his dad took away his truck so often.
Every afternoon at 4:45, you’d stop by the gas station across from your school and get a Redbull and protein bar for him, and a bag of your favorite candy for yourself. You’d park by the field house, waiting in your car with his snacks for sometimes a half-an-hour before he decided to stop messing around with his friends and head out. When you’d give him his snack, he’d kiss your cheek and say, “thanks, kid.” Even though it wasn’t really meant to be romantic, you lived for those moments when you could pretend you were his girlfriend, smiling at the way the cheerleaders eyed your car judgmentally when you pulled out of the lot with the Rafe Cameron in your passenger seat.
“He’s just using you,” Carter would say when you got home.
“No he’s not,” you’d shrug, “we’re friends.”
“Sure,” she rolled her eyes.
Even if Rafe broke your heart everyday, you were fine with it as long as he put it back together the next with some small gesture that made you hope…maybe someday.
Then, in the spring semester of your junior year, his senior year, you were parked outside the field house like usual after one of his baseball practices. You saw his figure emerge from the brick building, his hair wet and clinging to his forehead. You smiled wildly, your heart fluttering every time you saw him, even after all these years. You got his snacks out and set them on the seat for him, ready for your daily thank you.
But he didn’t head for your car like usual, instead he veered toward the group of cheerleaders gathered on the other side of the lot. You frowned, eyes furrowed as you watched him approach the gaggle of girls. When he reached them, he grabbed one of their hands and pulled her out of the huddle. Your heart sank when you realized who it was.
Cassie giggled as Rafe pulled her toward him, the other girls in the circle laughing and catcalling toward them. Clearly everyone in this parking lot knew something you didn’t.
And then he kissed her.
Rafe pulled away from the kiss, hands still on Cassie’s waist, and watched with confusion as your car peeled out of the parking lot without him.
You didn’t speak to him the whole next week, but he was completely oblivious to your heartbreak, still texting you as if nothing ever happened.
Thursday, March 23rd
Hey kid, u coming to my game tomorrow? u know I need my good luck charm Read 11:03 pm
Sunday, March 26th
Babyyyyy in drvnk at top’s pick me upppp? :( Read 2:17 am
Tuesday, March 28th
yo dude u got the hw packet done for precal? I’m screwed for tomorrow Read 9:56 pm
You’d stare at the messages for a long time before shoving your phone in your desk drawer or turning it off all together, but always made sure to open the message so he’d know you read it.
Then you’d cry yourself to sleep.
Carter would sit in your bed each night, rubbing your back comfortingly, pissed that she couldn’t do more to save you from this hurt, muttering under her breath about how she was gonna kick his ass.
After only a week of unreturned texts and trying to get your attention at school with no luck, Rafe went silent. You thought you’d make him sweat for a few weeks before forgiving him, enough time to show you he cared that you weren’t speaking, but then he did the exact opposite.
“It’s for the best,” Carter tried to convince you.
Maybe she was right. After you no longer had Rafe in your life, you threw yourself into your schoolwork. You had always been smart, but now that you were more focused on yourself and not him, you were acing every class, top of the honor roll.
The gang all went their separate ways after graduation. Rafe to UNC Chapel Hill, Carter to Duke, Topper and Kelce to U of Florida. With your sister and her friends gone, you spent senior year alone, but opened acceptance letter after acceptance letter. Rafe faded slowly from your mind as you dreamt out your future.
Eventually you got the letter you were waiting for, your dream school. The day before you left the island, you promised yourself you wouldn’t miss out on the college experience the way you missed out in high school.
Then, hundreds of miles away from home, something miraculous happened. Far from the memories of your lonely childhood and Rafe Cameron, you bloomed. You made friends early on, feeling like you may have finally found your people in academia. You picked up intramural sports, now you were the one scoring goals and spiking balls and waving smugly to all your friends in the stands. You dated, and you dated. Never settling on one guy too long, having too much fun to tie yourself down.
Things just clicked so much easier, no longer living in your sister’s shadow, far enough away from all the shy girl stereotypes to explore and figure out who you were on your own terms. And slowly, all thoughts of Rafe Cameron faded from your mind. You only thought of him when he made cameos in your dreams, the high school nightmare variety - late to class, showing up naked on accident, a test you forgot to study for, and Rafe in the parking lot kissing Cassie Bryant. You’d wake up cursing your subconscious and feel off for about half a day, before your fast paced routine in your new city erased his face from your mind again.
You changed physically, too. Though you didn’t really feel any different, Carter would make comments every time you came home for a holiday or event.
“Damn, bitch,” she’d say, looking you up and down and wolf-whistling.
“Shut up,” you’d roll your eyes, feigning annoyance when it really made your confidence soar.
She’s just being a supportive sister, you’d tell yourself, clinging to the same insecurity you’d had your whole life. But she wasn’t the only one, boys noticed you now a way they never used to. You hooked up with enough guys to start to feel comfortable with the attention, but whenever you’d draw eyes at college parties or lecture halls, your cheeks would still go bright red, never quite figuring out how to turn off that particular mannerism.
You were almost done with your third year, a plane ticket to head back to North Carolina for Carter’s graduation already purchased. One night, as she showed you options for her graduation outfit on Facetime, she casually threw out, “some of us from Kildare are going to Miami to celebrate graduation.”
“Oh?” You said, not really listening, going over a term paper with a red pen for the fifth time.
“You should come…” she was nervous, trying to say it casually enough that maybe you might not overthink it and just say yes.
“Wait sorry, come where?” You put down your pen and actually looked at the screen, knowing she hated when you were listening without really listening like this.
“Miami,” she repeated. “A few of us are getting an Airbnb on the beach for a week after finals.”
“Who’s us?” You asked.
“Oh y’know,” she started listing names of her old friends, a lot more people than you expected, your throat tightening with a social anxiety you hadn’t felt in years at thought of being in a room with that many people from high school. “...Jack, Maddie, Sabrina. Topper and Kelce obviously,” she continued, at least ten names deep, going quiet for a moment before adding “...and Rafe.”
“No.” you said simply, propping the phone back up and returning to your paper.
“Oh, come onnnn,” she whined, not at all surprised by your response. “It’s been four years, and you’re thriving now! You can just pretend he’s not there.”
“Yes, exactly,” you snarked at her. “Just as I’m finally thriving, you want me to spend a week stuck in a house with Rafe Cameron. That makes sense.”
“You and I will hang out on the beach the whole time, we don’t even have to talk to him,” she reasoned. “And he can just sit in the corner and look at your hot body and feel like shit for being such a dick to you in high school.”
You laughed a little despite yourself. You’d be lying if you said there wasn’t a part of you that wished he could see you now. Even though you stayed away from Kildare as much as possible and barely went out when you were home, terrified of running into him, you also dreamt of a time you would see him again. New look, new confidence, new you.
“Hah! You’re thinking about it aren’t you?” Carter said smugly, interrupting your thoughts.
“Maybe,” you said, turning back to your schoolwork.
“I’ll take that as a yes!” she cheered victoriously.
“Or you can take it as a maybe, which is what it is,” you corrected her.
“Pleaseeee?” She begged. “It’s my graduation trip! And I don’t want to be there without you.”
You sighed deeply, weighing all of the pros and cons as you bit your lip. Carter had always been there for you, and if it was so important to her that you make this trip, it was really the least you could do. Plus, she was going abroad for grad school in just a few weeks, and you knew it would be your last chance to spend time with her for a while.
“Fine…I’ll come,” you finally conceded.
“Yay!” Carter yelped. “Best trip ever!”
“Uh-huh,” you said skeptically. “Best trip ever.”
(next chapter)
a/n: hi, i'm nat and i've struggled with body image and anxiety my whole life and I have been the victim of countless unrequited loves, particularly in my teen years, though the sting never really goes away. writing this series has been really personal to me so far, and i'm having a great time. I hope you like it. ♡
* ˚ ✦ CAPTURED MEMORIES | TRENT ALEXANDER-ARNOLD
hana’s notes : just watched inside liverpool of the kit launch and trent coming out of the photo booth got me thinking 🥹…… im just so obsessed with writing lovesick!trent & lovesick!reader so this is what you get <3
MAIN MASTELIST
┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °
The chilly wind was biting your cheeks making you cuddle up more into your boyfriend’s arm. You were already wearing a coat but Trent’s warmth was more comfortable.
He looked at you with a smile, eyes all soft as they glanced over your figure. “Ya cold, baby?”
You sniffled, nudging your nose into his arm more, “Jus’ a little.”
Trent can tell that wasn’t entirely the case, but before he could tease you more about it, your eyes lit up by something in front you.
“Trent, look! There’s a photo booth!”
There was just a couple that got out of the photo booth and you were already buzzing with excitement. “Can we go?” you asked, a pout forming on your lips, hoping that it could sway your boyfriend.
Trent was already agreeing with you, you didn’t even have to put on that cute face of yours. Anything you want Trent would get it for you.
He chuckled, leaving a peck on your forehead, “ ‘f course, baby.” he hand grazed your cheek. Your cheeks were freezing.
You squealed and quickly dragged him to the photo booth. Luckily it wasn’t already occupied, so you both took your seat, shrugging off your thick coat.
“Alright, so we need to plan the poses!”
Trent was listening intently to every single thing you were saying. Although he did got distracted at times by how pretty you were, and the way your smile is just so captivating, it took him in a daze.
“Got it?”
A fond smile formed on his face, it instituted his cute dimples which made you smile wider.
“Yeah, I got it.”
After taking three photo shots, you were on your last one. He knew you where most excited about it. Your idea pose was him kissing you on the cheek while holding your jaw as you grin the biggest grin of your life. You said that it would look pretty. It was actually based on a photo that Robbo took of you two at an after party when Liverpool have won the UCL. It was one of the first picture of you both as a couple so you were trying to recreate that memory.
“Last one!”
The machine was already counting down so you got into your pose, already smiling the widest smile you could until your cheeks were starting to hurt.
10 . . .
9 . . .
Trent couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, even after the previous pictures where the camera click had went off. His eyes were stuck on you, taking in your features.
8 . . .
7 . . .
He softly moved his hand up your neck and to your jaw. The veins of his hands sending little bumps across your skin making your stomach flutter.
6 . . .
As it hit 5, Trent whispered, “Can I kiss you?”
4 . . .
You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, “Course you can, handsome.” patting his thigh using your hand that was already resting there.
Before you know it, Trent was turning your head to face his, his warm hand now navigated around the back of your neck. His pillowy lips landed on yours, as his other hand wrapped itself around your back, dipping you down a little. Like those romantic movies that you guys always watch. You squeaked out a surprised gasp but immediately calmed down, winding your arms around his shoulders, as you brought him down with you.
1.
You were so lost in each other that you didn’t even notice when the flash had gone off. Your face was hot, your mind was all fuzzy and your heart felt so so full.
Breaking from the kiss with your breaths mingling. Your eyesight was a little blurry so you tried to focus is in by blinking.
“Do you think that’ld look good?” Trent whispered, as he catch his breath. He squeezed your waist, trying to bring your attention to him.
You dumbly nodded your head, “Yeah.”
Trent airily laughed, the kind that brought butterflies to your stomach and its making you feel a little bit dizzy. He pecked your nose, once, twice, your forehead, your cheeks (which was not freezing anymore) and lastly your lips again. He felt like they belonged there, fitting perfectly with yours.
A sudden banging noise can be heard from outside the booth, “Hurry up, then!” you didn’t even realise you have been in there for quite a while.
“Sorry!” you yelled out, quickly grabbing your things and exiting, Trent’s hand bringing you outside. with giggles pouring out of your guys’ lips.
The other pair went inside the booth, shaking their heads and mumbling something under their breath. But you didn’t pay attention, you were all too enamoured by your boyfriend and his previous bold action.
Now, it was your turn to stare at him, taking in his features.
As you both wait for the picture to develop, your arms went around Trent’s waist, his moved to your hips. You were no longer cold, warmth filling your heart along with the tips of your lips as the traces of your boyfriend lingered.
Captured memories to keep forever.
reblog for a kiss <3