Actually, I need people to understand that we have amnesia. Not the full mind wipe amnesia that people often think of when they hear the word. We are going to forget things easily and often. No, I won't always be able to tell when or if something happened. No, I won't always remember what I've already done or what I'm supposed to do. No, I won't always remember that one memory from 5 years ago. WE HAVE FUCKING AMNESIA
thinking too hard abt that part in smoke and mirrors where cloud is helping genesis take off his boots and being like huh. the feeling of. you could treat me like a pervasive, plague riddled man and instead you're helping me take off my boots. the feeling of you should be repulsed but instead you just want to help. the f. the feeling of. the feeling of drops onto all fours and starts barking
vampire knight backgrounds from the vampire knight artbook by matsuri hino
people misunderstand what ‘gifted kid’ actually means but it’s ok it’s fine it’s cool it’s good
He's very pop-culture savvy now.
Chiitan, Japan's crazy mascot beats up Orihara Izaya from the hit anime Durarara!! (colorized)
every time someone talks about someone "faking disability to live on welfare" or anything to that effect i think about how my mom worked in law and directly knew of a case of a guy who had terminal brain cancer with an estimated few months to live and got rejected the first time he applied for disability income. like, he was 100% going to die and that wasn't disabled enough to not have to jump through a million hoops and get lawyers involved. non-disabled people "living off of welfare" is such a non issue because i cannot bring myself to care about the like, 3 people who maybe successfully do it compared to the thousands of people rejected who need aid
The people who insist that you have to be anti-endo/cannot be pro-endo or even neutral in order to access CDD resources, be those informational posts or discord servers or communities or anything else, are part of the problem of making it really hard to even separate CDDs from plurality as a concept. The more you double down on making these resources inaccessible to others with a CDD who have a different opinion from you on endogenic plurality, the more you conflate that endogenic plurality and CDDs are tied to each other.
Like, if your point is to curate a space for *yourself* where *you* feel safe and comfortable, that's one thing. But if you're out there making "communities" and "resource posts" and the like for the wider public, these things absolutely should not be gatekept. If specific individuals are in these spaces spreading harm and misinformation, then sure I understand wanting to keep other safe from people like that. But someone having a pro-endo stance and not even necessarily advertising that or not even engaging in conversation about endogenic plurality shouldn't be kept from CDD spaces.
this is what i've been working hard to remind myself lately
The wildest part about being a system and having known you are a system for a while (6+ years for us) HAS to be seeing people who are just figuring it out fall into holes that you've long left behind.
Like. Yeah. We also thought we needed to keep tabs on everyone to increase communication. In the end it became too unwieldy. Especially since DID evolves with what you experience all the time.
Microlabels are cool and I fully support anyone who uses them, but figuring out what to call every single structure in your system isn't for us anymore.
Another thing we notice is people who try their best to know who is fronting at all given times. A lot of that comes naturally to us nowadays, but it's also... OK not to know. Especially if you're not focusing on anything system related at the time.
I guess a lot of this boils down to, it's okay not to care. It's okay to go with the flow of things and figure out at your own pace. Identity is fluid, especially if you have a dissociative disorder. You don't HAVE to have everything figured out 100% of the time.
It's okay to take it slow. It's okay to not know. It's okay to just exist for a bit. It's okay to live and experience things beyond being a system.
To all the people who are just starting to comprehend this. You do not need to know and label exactly what is happening in your head all the time. Fuck, we sure don't. And we're happier for it.
It's okay to just be you.
Think systems with a high number of fictional introjects are a new phenomena? Kluft's paper on polyfragmented/extremely complex DID from 1988 includes a patient with LOTR introjects, and another based off of Shakespear's Tempest. Fictional introjects have been a thing for a very long time!
97'. they/them. queer and disordered. here for a bit of a cry, and not much else.
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