Wasted-life-musings - Musings Of A Wasted Life

Dream Journals

I’ve decided to start writing dreams down, so I might as well take up space here with em, some will be old dreams I remember still, some will be new dreams, just dreams, the only time we’re honest with ourselves and therefore the most honest i can be with you ( not that my 3 day old tumblr has alot of readers yet )

October 15th or something:  Fell asleep drunk watching the walking dead, dreamed I was being attacked by cops, it was a good ol time for a while til i was overwhelmed.  They’re run up, id stab them in the heart, another would come, stab, etc, eventually there was too many to stab and i ran, pretty self explanatory really, dreams are half subconscious mind and half replaying what we’ve seen experienced that day.  Now if i had that dream on say a Bahama vacation, well, worry then

When you’re lonely, you seek people.  You find people, you compromise, you sell your good traits and pretend the bad arent there, an vice versa.  When you reach a certain point, you dont care anymore and all your relationships fail, and then you’re lonely for a long time, and then you hook up out of desperation with excuses therein as to why you arent desperate.

And of course those relationships fail, because theyre more about your own problems and less about the people involved therein.  Then you stop caring, and die.  Some people do this quicker than others.  We all start as hot love affairs and end as roomates with benefits, yet we all waste so much time on it.

Id say Humans are 45% concerned with love, 45% concerned with highs, be it drugs or overeating or whatever, 5% regret, and 5% coercive optimism.  Maybe if we all stopped lying to ourselves and eachother we could get somewhere..i mean, did you SEE the new walking dead, how amazing, this is a life well spent, the big bang theory, hahahaha, he said  something sorta nerdy and there was a laugh track! hahahaha, im gonna eat some popcorn, pretend to read a book to appeal to hipsters, then check my many online dating profiles for a hit, this is me spending my life well, this is me, progressing....

Here’s a song I posted awhile ago, these are random people doing it, but this is probably CLOSER to the original 1800s version of the song.  Little Pretty Anna...

"I will work as long as my life remains. Working for my food is what has made me happy in this life." (Gatlang, Rasuwa)

A man, perhaps even you, sits one day on a rockface high above a roaring sea.  He lights a cigarette, and watches as the water batters the rocks, as he watches, for hours the waters rise and fall, he contemplates that fate itself must work in much the same way, he inserts himself into this concept and continues contemplating his existence.  

A small child happens upon the man, the rock face though precarious being easily reachable by a certain means, and pulls from her pocket a small collection of shells and rocks she has found, and how proud she is of them.  The man speaks with her awhile, about her collection and how its a wonderful collection, the only of its kind in all of existence, and produces his own pretty rock he found on his walk, and places it in her hand.

The mother, finding lost child apprehensively calls to her, seeing she is amongst company of this strange man on the rock face.  As it happens, it then comes to pass a strong breeze hits them and the frail girl is sent hurtling towards the edge of the rocks, and the man grabbing her coat, stops her from tumbling down the cliffside.

The mother frantically runs towards the man and flings herself onto him, latching on in unbenounced appreciation and depth.  The man not anticipating this, loses footing and the man and mother topple down the rocks and the child is left an orphan, just her and her rocks.

No good deed goes unpunished, as they say.

" Is murder ever justifiable? " is a standard sort of philosophical question, and with all philosophical conundrums there is no right answer.  We all have individual morals, based mostly on learned and observed morals, thus rendering our own individuality in the endeavor inert.  But i was asked this recently and actually gave it some thought, and here are my long winded results you wont read:

Concerning antiquity:  The Vikings had what they called "justifiable Murder" in where certain social norms and or laws were broken, and rather than the state executing, as we now as a "modern" society do, it was left to the individual.  in such a case, a family member felled unjustifiably, a family member raped, etc, murder was legal, however there were stipulations, you had to pay for the burial of said killed party, and if i recall correctly had to pay 6 months of their lost wadges on the farm ( despite the reputation, most Vikings were farmers and not warriors per se ) and this was because the death without said stipulations would punish innocent parties, IE their families.  This also meant, like in most cultures, the rich got away with murder moreso than the poor, go figure, but thats a whole different tangent.

We, as Americans or, modern westerners in general tend to be biblical in our morals, of course we dont really read into that.  In the Jewish Torah for instance, thou shalt not kill was only applicable in ones own tribe, infact in the torah ( and feel free to research this ) only sons of Abraham ( jews ) were even considered people, and murder or enslavement of non jews was, not only fine but encouraged to a extent.

Native Americans, on the other hand, and of course this isnt applicable to all tribes, native americans are as diverse as any continent, when someone didnt contribute, or acted in reprehensible ways they were laughed at, everyone just laughed at them, and if they didnt change the behavior they were then thrown out, essentially a death sentence.  

Now we teach people murder is always wrong, and if you do it, we'll kill you by injecting you with chemicals ( lethal injection goes very wrong often, btw, its not the peaceful death they claim ) we'll teach you killings wrong, by, killing you.  Now, you cant reason with a rabid dog, some killers we let out and they immediately kill again, its important to TRY but not everyone can be saved, just trust me.  In the case of a rabid dog, you put it down, not to just save others but really to save the dog from himself, watch some interviews with killers, they almost always know theyre damaged and are somewhat grateful for being stopped, because they cant stop themselves.

Do I PERSONALLY believe in murder, of course not, I feel that 95% of people can change their mind, and be to some extent rehabilitated, I also, again to some extent, feel life is precious, even damaged life.  Perhaps the murderer writes a book in jail that is published and influences a person to save lives as a career, one can never predict the butterfly effect of the cosmos.  

I think, ideologies and religion asside most people have a nature to not want to kill, perhaps hurt, but not kill.  This could just be my bias because i see so many pictures of hunters smiling with their kills propped in their arms, I only kill ( obviously i havent killed people ) when I have to, rather its to eat, or disease prevention or, what have you, and everytime i feel bad.  Hunters now arent hungry, they just like the thrill of killing something, that they then happen to eat, to me thats different entirely, but im off on a tangent from the original tangent...

All things are subjugate to perspective and scenario, no (sane) person kills and likes it, but (most) sane people will kill if their life is threatened.  I dont like tear jerky philosophical questions like this, any black and white question has no place in the spectrum of philosophy really.  If you aim to kill me, and i know it, ill kill you, in that moment, and trust that i mean this, ill kill you without a thought whatsoever.  Thereafter i will feel bad, and have nightmares and become a drug addict and blow my brains out or what have you, but in the moment, its justifiable.  

No man should have the right to be judge, jury, and executioner, however if you know, and i mean really know that unless you kill person A, person B, C, D, and E will die, thats simple math, blow that prick away, feel bad later.  This rant seems like its about murder, and it IS but more loftily this post is about all pseudo - philosophical questions, when is it ok to steal, when is a lie a good thing and when is it a bad thing, etc etc.  Is murder ever justifiable, of course it is, and more lofty still if reality is subjective, anything is justifiable at a given time, the difference is the intent, I think.  

But do abandon the thought that murder dooms you to hell, as if there were such a place, and if a fear of a hell is your only reason for not murdering, you're a terrible person and i hope there IS a hell, just for you.   We take for granted that our minds are our own, and that all minds are not like yours, and your reality isnt real at all, some people can kill for fun and not feel bad, theyre crazy, or, am i crazy because im not like that, its just my word against theirs, and the majority rules, which is a shit endeavor because the majority has group psychosis and shit taste in every and all things.

" That which is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil. "

“ The Wall “ is my favorite floyd album, even though darkside is probably better it speaks to me personally.  that being said, once floyd lost barret it was no longer floyd, here’s scarecrow, a song ya should know but maybe dont.

( Fun fact the name pink floyd comes from syd barrett, he used to wear an all blue leisure suit, and one day they were tripping and it looked pink, a floyd was a brittish slang for a fancy gentleman, hence he was the pink floyd. )