How To Tell A Deaf Dog It's Time For A Walk.

Imma Slytherin that accepted it after years of wanting to be a Ravenclaw in an instant. I'm pretty proud cuz I'm the only Slytherin 🐍 in a family of Gryffindors🙄.

Ravenclaw: Do you think that everything we learn in school is necessary?

Slytherin: no.

Ravenclaw: but-

Slytherin: no.

Ravenclaw: if you didn’t procrastinate so much you’d like it. Think about all the things you get to learn!

Slytherin: or, I can get the answers and copy them down. Work smarter, not harder.

Ravenclaw: but- knowledge!

Slytherin: no.

Workout For Daily Life

I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY

White supremacist trying to form a straight-pride parade accidentally lets truth slip at city council meeting

This is like something straight out of Parks and Rec

SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME (2021) dir. Jon Watts

you: suck my dick me, an intellectual: sure 

Thank god they did cuz I pointed it out when it first came on & my brothers were confused since then

The madmen working on the SuMo anime actually did it. They actually referenced this, of all things.

The Smartphone

Headcanon that once, a muggleborn came to Hogwarts bringing her phone, wanting to show it to her friends. But she was disappointed when she discovered that technology went haywire inside the castle. Her friends were also disappointed, but they came up with an idea.

These wizards and witches started a new magazine for the students. On the pages were the games the muggleborn had described to them. There was a page for Among Us, another for Minecraft and also pages for their own version of Instagram, Twitter, TikTok and Tumblr, all bewitched so that they could be used by the owner. In honor of the muggleborn’s device, they named the magazine, “The Smartphone”.

The pureblood Slytherins pretended to loathe The Smartphone, but secretly they used it too. The professors also pretended to be annoyed with The Smartphone, claiming that it caused their students’ grades to drop, but they too owned it.

The muggleborn and her friends, the creators of The Smartphone ended up rich when a wizarding company bought their idea and sold it to the entire wizarding community. In just a few months, the wizards too now owned smartphones.

*randomly says in normal conversation*

#schoolrelatable

Person A= Gryffindor

Person B= Ravenclaw

Person A: “I wonder why I keep getting arrested.”

Person B: “I don’t know, maybe because you keep doing illegal things!”