Its So Sick To Me That The Rumors Of Jean Sleeping His Way Onto The Ravens Are Widespread But Not One

do you guys think that when neil got back home from cali he took andrew up to the roof where he sat watching him smoke and told him he put a hit out on a raven. and then andrew sat there in silence watching the sunset before asking "why?" and neil looked down fiddling with his own lit cigarette and said very quietly that this particular raven was jean's drake. do you think that andrew went very still and did not speak or smoke for such a long time that neil eventually looked up at him and was taken aback by how andrew was watching him very carefully. do you think that as andrew looked at neil he was so paralysed by the thought of jean going through that same abuse and neil putting an end to it without even thinking twice. do you think he realised his meter had officially broken and neil was so far past 100% and that he was really truly it for him

Wymack was ready to propose to Kayleigh, but choose to leave to not overstep Kayleigh boundaries. Wymack called Kayleigh to know if Kevin was his and was ready to be a dad, but she said no so Wymack let it go. He sees Kayleigh everytime he looks at Kevin.

Betsy developed an unnoticed way to call Andrew's attention when he is going anxious and trying to hurt himself. That way he stops and nobody notices.

Andrew accepted joining PSU because it was Aaron's opportunity to study medicine and became the doctor their mother couldn't believe he could be.

Aaron was able to see through Andrew's denial about his feelings for Neil. Because he knew his brother ticks, expressions and mannerisms better than he let it show.

Matt & Neil 👀

Made this for @s-hanna-h 's birthday hehe 💗✨️

Jean, Kevin and Neil are all obsessed with Exy, but all three couldn't be any more different.

Kevin looks at Exy as his birth given right. His mother created the sport. He probably held a stick, before he lernt how to walk. Little Kevin and Riko probably watched Exy games instead of shows for kids.

Kevin lived and breathed Exy since he could remember. It is his whole life, there is no way he could imagine living without it. It's not his hobby, it's not his passion, Exy is who he is. Without it he is nothing, he is worthless. He is outraged every time someone does something wrong on the court or doesn't care as much as he does, because it is personal for him. He takes disrespect on Exy as a direct disrespect on him.

He never chose this life, it chose him and he would crumble without it.

Jean plays to survive. He plays, because that is what is expected of him. Playing is his only worth, his only purpose, his only value. Without it he would be treated even worse than he already was and he knows it.

So he plays. He plays so he can have a moment to breathe, a moment for himself. If he can focus on the game, or the practice he can forget about the abuse. He can burry himself in at least one thing he is good at.

Exy doesn't, of course, come without consequences. He makes mistakes and he is punished and the cycle of violence continues. Exy is his curse, if he stoped there would be a chance that he would get a thing he so desperately wishes for.

Death.

But he plays. He plays, because he made a promise to Kevin. he plays, because he is too scared to find out what would happen if he didn't. He plays, because disobedience was beaten (and so much worse) out of him.

He never chose to play, it was forced onto him and even though he wouldn't accept it, a life without Exy would be his salvation.

Neil plays to live. He spent his whole life on crumbs, just surviving, looking over his shoulder and doing everything to see another day. He was in a rush, never stoping at one place for too long, never having someone or something that he chose for himself.

Until Exy, until the Foxes. He chose to play, despite knowing how dangerous it was for him. He played despite every survival instincts telling him to run.

Exy is like breathing to Neil. He loves it with every fiber of his being. He doesn't care if he gets hurt or killed, he just wants to play.

One more game, one more month, one more year, just one more.

Finding Exy again was the best decision he had ever made. It brought him his family, it brought him purpose, it brought him life.

He chose it himself and he would rather die, than let it be ripped away from him.

They are all Exy junkies, but none of them get the other. They think they do, but their obsessions are so fundamentally different, they never could.

So many of the foxes have sex related trauma.

Dan was a stripper as a minor. I imagine she was regularly harassed at work.

Renee was raped as a child.

Allison was being assaulted when Seth saved her.

Matt lost his virginity as a minor to a prostitute at one of his dad’s parties and let his dad’s friends use him when he was high. He might not consider it rape but I (and the law) do.

Kevin didn’t really have a choice to consent when Riko decided that he and Kevin were going to lose their virginity to Lydia. Plus Riko was in the room for Kevin and Thea’s first time.

Nicky was sent to camp for being gay.

Andrew was raped as a child and an adult.

Neil was beaten by his mother for just kissing a girl.

The only ones I don’t think have anything mentioned are Aaron and Seth.

number symbolism in aftg

kevin's bday being 22 + 22 ravens when evermore was shut down + 22 of neil's names and cities

andreil jersey numbers adding up to 13. baltimore happened on 10/3.

renees jersey number being 9 - stephanie being renee's 9th foster home

jeans jersey being 29 for kevin (2) and renee (9) and jeremy (2+9=11)

riko's perfect court fell after number 4 (四 ie, 死 (death))

neil's 10 is the mirror image of riko's 01

An idea I love is when the Foxes become a more well-respected team in the league, Wymack starts talking to them about being “role models” and that they have all these young fans now who look up to them. And Neil is just horrified.

Then the Exy league organises this like, pre-game warm up meet and greet thing where they do some drills and games with the kids of the local teams in the area.

Everyone expects to have to keep Andrew away from the kids but he’s actually fantastic with them. He’s blunt and honest but he does try very hard and they absolutely love him.

Neil spends the entire time running away from the children and hiding behind Wymack (he tried hiding behind Andrew but Andrew was actually getting along with the little demons)

Kevin hates it but the kids LOVE him, they think it’s hilarious how grumpy and angry he gets and they keep falling over themselves laughing anytime he yells. They keep asking him to “do the grumpy voice” he starts yelling in French and they think it’s just about the funniest thing that’s ever happened.

Dan and Renee are keeping the whole thing on track, actually running through the drills and teaching the kids with endless patience. Dan has a little mini me girl who’s like 10 and the captain of her team and just wants to be Dan so bad so Dan gives her a whistle and she’s just shadowing her all day, blowing her whistle whenever Dan tries to get someone’s attention.

Aaron and Allison hang back and only very reluctantly interact with the children.

Matt is the equivalent of a climbing gym. He has about 4 children hanging off various limbs at any given time and a little 6 year old has taken up permanent residence on his shoulders.

Nicky loooves it and teaches the kids all of bad words and gets them to play pranks on Kevin- which results in Kevin yelling at him and he and the kids falling over laughing.

One child seems to be really isolated and quiet. Neil sits with this kid so Wymack will stop yelling at him to get involved. They don’t talk at all but Neil gives the kid some gum and the kid manages a little smile.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that he hurt you, I’m sorry that you’re still afraid to talk about it, and I’m sorry that you think I’ll never understand. I’m sorry that he tricked you into thinking you deserved it."

what the fuck do you mean there are people out there liking jean's and thea's "friendship" ??? "she was like a sister to him" ????? the girl that asked him if he was back to his “old tricks” when she saw him in THAT state?? his old tricks being him getting fucked by older guys when he was 15/16 years old?? "riko made her believe he was willing" he was a kid??? "she is a victim too" i don't care let her heal far away from jean??? i hate u

I think Andrew's desperation to live is a little overlooked in the fandom. It's not explicitly stated in the books, other than his SH scars, but I honestly think it is so important to understanding him and his motivations.

Did Andrew ever plan to live past graduation? Before Kevin came along and promised his life would have worth? Did he plan on disappearing when Aaron eventually walked away from him? Believing nobody would notice if he was gone?

He clung on purely for Aaron, to make sure Aaron had a bright future ahead and could go live without him. To make sure that Nicky could go back to Erik without worry.

Before Neil, Andrew didn't believe he had anything to live for. He made a very one sided deal with Kevin to find something, anything, to build his life around after graduation, believing his brother would leave him alone once again.

Because at the heart of it all, Andrew doesn't want to die. Not really.

Andrew has chronic depression and he is suicidal. He sits on the edges of roof tops to feel. He puts his life on the line again and again with little regard for his own safety. He makes promises that put him at a severe disadvantage.

His promises are what keeps him alive, what forces him to live. Dying would break his promise, and Andrew has suffered enough from broken promises.

He doesn't want to die. He wants to survive those who beat him down. He wants to move on. He wants to get better. He wants to live.

He just doesn't know how.