I Love Seeing Neil Through Jean’s Eyes Because We Really See How Much Of The Butcher Is In Him And

One of my favorite things in AFTG is how the author deals with consent, particularly between Neil and Andrew. "Please" is such an easy go-to to make something not sound like an order or demand (especially for more aggressive characters, i.e., "Let me x/Do x, please"), but she completely took that off the table in this case. It becomes even more of a challenge when you take into account how Andrew’s bluntness can be taken as rude, but it's offset so well with Neil needing it spelled out to him because romantic interest go right over his head. Also, once a boundary is set, it's set. No questions asked. No testing it. And despite Neil being dumb as bricks to most things (bless his heart), most of those boundaries aren't even verbally discussed. It's either trial and error, observation of the other, or just left for the other to initiate. And there's no question to the reader that "no" or any sign of hesitation will be taken as "no." It's kinda refreshing to see it portrayed that way in media.

I'm like 99.99% sure that Eden's is a gay bar. It makes so much sense. But just imagine Aaron never knowing after 4 years, despite working there with Andrew and Nicky, and Kevin also never realizing.

Just occurred to me that during the Revelation Scene, Neil says "you like me" instead of "you're attracted to me" and I'm wondering if it's because in his lil demisexual brain, the only way he could reasonably articulate his understanding of the situation wasn't "you wanna fuck me" but instead "you enjoy my existence" because "blowjob" held very little value or interest to him but "positive regard" absolutely did and I just-

misplaced forever partners will always be the most painful part of neil and jean's dynamic to me. like What do you mean they were always going to be together, be matched with each other, in every way that mattered, in every universe except the one where jean survived.

I thought about Andrew, who falls asleep on Neil on the couch or in a bag chair, and Neil is completely immobilized for several hours, he even has to skip training

Maybe half the time Andrew just lies with his eyes closed, pretending to be asleep (and enjoying the feel of Neil's body underneath him)

do you guys think that when neil got back home from cali he took andrew up to the roof where he sat watching him smoke and told him he put a hit out on a raven. and then andrew sat there in silence watching the sunset before asking "why?" and neil looked down fiddling with his own lit cigarette and said very quietly that this particular raven was jean's drake. do you think that andrew went very still and did not speak or smoke for such a long time that neil eventually looked up at him and was taken aback by how andrew was watching him very carefully. do you think that as andrew looked at neil he was so paralysed by the thought of jean going through that same abuse and neil putting an end to it without even thinking twice. do you think he realised his meter had officially broken and neil was so far past 100% and that he was really truly it for him

exy twitter (neil josten: pr nightmare au)

aaron watching andrew be forced to take a medication that will alter his mental state.

aaron seeing all andrew's nervous tics before he takes the first pill. aaron seeing how scared andrew is.

aaron sitting outside the bathroom door while andrew gets sick after trying to get off his meds the first time. when andrew finally comes out into the hall and sees aaron, he just walks right past him. "withdraw sucks doesn't it?" aaron says. "don't talk to me," andrew says back and aaron can't help but hate how tired and defeated andrew sounds.

what did you expect, captain?

For the record, Neil will do as he's told by others because compliance gets him what he wants. His obedience is fueled solely by ulterior motive.

But Neil will do as he's told by Andrew because Andrew Said So. His obedience is fueled by trust and pretty eyes.