Wait, So You Said That You Can Learn To Trust Others By Building Friendships, But How Does One Go About

Wait, so you said that you can learn to trust others by building friendships, but how does one go about doing that? Wouldn't someone I don't know be creeped out or annoyed if I suddenly walked up and started talking to them?

Friendships are built of repeated low-stakes interactions and returned bids for attention with slowly increasing intimacy over time.

It takes a long time to make friends as an adult. People will probably think you're weird if you just walk up and start talking to them as though you are already their friend (people think it's weird when I do this, I try not to do this) but people won't think it's weird if you're someone they've seen a few times who says "hey" and then gradually has more conversations (consisting of more words) with them.

I cheat at forming adult friendships by joining groups where people meet regularly. If you're part of a radio club that meets once a week and you just join up to talk about radios, eventually those will be your radio friends.

If there's a hiking meetup near you and you go regularly, you will eventually have hiking friends.

Deeper friendships are formed with people from those kinds of groups when you do things with them outside of the context of the original interaction; if you go camping with your radio friend, that person is probably more friend than acquaintance. If you go to the movies with a hiking friend who likes the same horror movies as you do, that is deepening the friendship.

In, like 2011 Large Bastard decided he wanted more friends to do stuff with so he started a local radio meetup. These people started as strangers who shared an interest. Now they are people who give each other rides after surgery and help each other move and have started businesses together and have gone on many radio-based camping trips and have worked on each other's cars.

Finding a meetup or starting a meetup is genuinely the cheat-code for making friends.

This is also how making friendships at schools works - you're around a group of people very regularly and eventually you get to know them better and you start figuring out who you get along with and you start spending more time with those people.

If you want to do this in the most fast and dramatic way possible, join a band.

In 2020 I wrote something of a primer on how to turn low-stakes interactions with neighbors and acquaintances into more meaningful relationships; check the notes of this post over the next couple days, I'll dig up the link and share it in a reblog.

More Posts from Wolfspoot and Others

1 year ago

Many people seem to think it is foolish, even superstitious, to believe the world could still change for the better. And it is true that in winter is still sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say ‘What do I care if there is a summer, its warmth is no help to me now’. Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. And so I must still have hope.

Vincent Van Gogh (via hope-for-the-planet)


Tags
1 year ago

tumblr user, drinking a bottle of uncontaminated water in post apocalyptic america: i love this?? this is so pure omg


Tags
5 months ago

This a a reminder to not fall victim to the sunk-cost fallacy. Just because you invested time and energy into something, does not mean you should indefinitely waste more time and energy on it, if you decide it’s not what you want anymore. This goes for anything, from books, to relationships, to jobs, to hobbies, etc.

If it’s not serving you anymore, move on.


Tags
3 weeks ago
wolfspoot - Wolfspoot

Tags
1 year ago

"binge-worthy show" man fuck that

i want my shows one episode followed by a whole ass week of going a little insane over it with the people on my phone, writing fics theorizing and going over every single scene through amazing gifs and meta, before the next ep drops and the cicle begins anew


Tags
2 weeks ago
This Comic Makes Me So Stupid Emotional. She Might Have Never Known.

This comic makes me so stupid emotional. She might have never known.


Tags
11 months ago

Just some stretches you can add to your daily routine!

For more on passive bar hanging, check out Dr. Kirsch's work: https://www.kirschshoulder.com.

He's an orthopedic surgeon that claims simple hanging helped many potential patients avoid shoulder surgery.

I believe he's said that hanging can eliminate 99% of shoulder pain. Try it out!

Legal Notice: Consult a physician before beginning any exercise program. This video does not replace a doctor's visit or physical therapy program.


Tags
9 months ago

Daily reminder that we do not actually live in a dystopian movie put the apocalypse down and back away slowly. You know when your cleaning a room and you pull everything out of it's draws to sort through it and you're like "what the fuck have I done I'm never going to be able to tidy all of this" I think that's the stage we're at in the world. Thanks to social media we've pulled out all the messed up shit from the cupboards of the world, it was always there but now we can see it and we're going to have to sort it all out we made this mess and we can fix it. Falling to the floor sobbing will not clean a crusty room. A group of people working systematically (preferably with music in the background) will.


Tags
3 months ago

I feel like in the rush of “throw out etiquette who cares what fork you use or who gets introduced first” we actually lost a lot of social scripts that the younger generations are floundering without.


Tags
5 months ago

Tags
Loading...
End of content
No more pages to load
  • thedandeliongarden
    thedandeliongarden reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • thedandeliongarden
    thedandeliongarden reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • childofdemon
    childofdemon reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • childofdemon
    childofdemon liked this · 1 week ago
  • yukine-sakamoto
    yukine-sakamoto reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • yukine-sakamoto
    yukine-sakamoto liked this · 1 week ago
  • narwhalpanda
    narwhalpanda liked this · 1 week ago
  • tomato-on-a-stick
    tomato-on-a-stick reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • tomato-on-a-stick
    tomato-on-a-stick liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • the-merry-otter
    the-merry-otter liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • v-confused-212
    v-confused-212 reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • silveredgears
    silveredgears reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • silveredcircuitry
    silveredcircuitry liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • obsessingoverl
    obsessingoverl liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • study-harder
    study-harder liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • blueotterman
    blueotterman liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • dimondlite
    dimondlite reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • motherfuckingampersands
    motherfuckingampersands reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • sapphickeyboard
    sapphickeyboard liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • fallen-roman-empress
    fallen-roman-empress liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • icarusxwings
    icarusxwings reblogged this · 4 weeks ago
  • whenitgrowsbright
    whenitgrowsbright reblogged this · 4 weeks ago
  • smol-seal
    smol-seal liked this · 4 weeks ago
  • unterwordes
    unterwordes reblogged this · 4 weeks ago
  • justahalfling
    justahalfling liked this · 4 weeks ago
  • ozzernexus
    ozzernexus reblogged this · 4 weeks ago
  • hailsatanacab
    hailsatanacab liked this · 1 month ago
  • dp-time-police
    dp-time-police liked this · 1 month ago
  • elevenpenguins-in-a-trenchcoat
    elevenpenguins-in-a-trenchcoat reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • elevenpenguins-in-a-trenchcoat
    elevenpenguins-in-a-trenchcoat liked this · 1 month ago
  • purplesublimeangel
    purplesublimeangel reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • perchanceapoet
    perchanceapoet liked this · 1 month ago
  • emauxetcamees
    emauxetcamees liked this · 1 month ago
  • holy-teos
    holy-teos liked this · 1 month ago
  • fruity-hub-blog
    fruity-hub-blog liked this · 1 month ago
  • phantasieandmirare
    phantasieandmirare reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • rayckeith
    rayckeith reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • rayckeith
    rayckeith liked this · 1 month ago
  • unterwordes
    unterwordes reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • hopefullystillliving
    hopefullystillliving reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • hopefullystillliving
    hopefullystillliving reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • pearlescentpearl
    pearlescentpearl liked this · 1 month ago
  • russingontrash
    russingontrash reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • danger-xylophones
    danger-xylophones reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • soggyfrenchfryeater
    soggyfrenchfryeater reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • soggyfrenchfryeater
    soggyfrenchfryeater liked this · 1 month ago
  • mybookishwandering
    mybookishwandering reblogged this · 1 month ago
wolfspoot - Wolfspoot
Wolfspoot

I’m a young-adult woman with the hopes of becoming a well-known writer. I’m a dreamer, a music lover and a chaotic human being, curious about what the future will bring but without any idea of what to do with it. As for this tumblr, we’ll see. I will make an attempt to make an interesting place but for now I still have to figure out what to do with it.

167 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags