Crooked Kingdom Chapter 16

pt.13 !! <pt.12 pt.14>

taglist for @andrewsleftarmband @blurryhour @you-know-i-get-itt @notexactlythatgirl @strangeoffputtingrat @tessasilverswan @minyard-05 @carbon-dated-gal @bisexualchaosdemon @stormiiflies <3

These r so incredible I'm losing it

I asked chatgpt to make some lame jokes about tsh characters, here are some of em':

1) Why does Henry hate elevators?

Because they remind him of morals—too many ups and downs.

2) What’s Bunny’s favorite exercise?

Running his mouth.

3) Why did Bunny fail history class?

He thought “Ancient Greece” was a fancy restaurant.

4) What’s Charles’s favorite drinking game?

Life. And he’s losing.

5) What’s Francis’s favorite song?

"Always Look on the Bright Side of Life", but only because he finds irony funny.

6) How does Julian flirt?

By reciting long passages of Latin poetry—because nothing says romance like a 300-page dead language textbook.

7) How did Donna Tartt know her book was going to be a hit?

She didn’t. She just knew it would make everyone at her college reunion really uncomfortable.

rip Neil Josten u would've loved reversible jeans and Duolingo

let's be real he found an old fashioned pipe somewhere, like he's going all out

also ganseys 100% a stress smoker sorry no regular non-smoker is making all those metaphors

sorry in what way exactly did kaz fumble inej

he paid off her indenture so she could be free, bought her a ship and found her a first mate so she could follow her dream, and brought her her parents so she could see them again, all while she promises to return to him

man had the most extreme trauma and armor up and still managed to make the baddest girl ketterdam has ever seen fall hard for him

that’s 10/10 game imo

I love reading The Secret History because you’ll get moments like

Richard: Maybe your smoking habit is why you feel like you can’t breathe

Francis: No that can’t possibly be it. I will also not go to the psychiatrist through

had a dream last night that Kaz Brekker joined an acting troupe and was one of the back up dancers in Hamilton and I went to see it and I saw him and was very confused and confronted him about it after the show and was like why aren’t you in your book??? And he looked guilty for a second didn’t answer me then ran away into the night still in his Hamilton outfit

Okay, I might be pulling this out of my ass but since that finals match was in Evermore that means the foxes should have been wearing their white away jerseys. Which means: the final match was a game of chess.

Not only are they wearing white, but they have first serve (Dan won the coin toss), and near the end the Foxes' king (Neil, because this is a battle between Riko and Neil) changes positions with the tower (Matt, a defenseman that towers over most people) creating the illusion of a castling.

And right there at the end, Riko attempts to kill Neil because they're in front of each other, but that's not how kings work. In the time it takes him to take that step, Andrew closes the gap and strikes. Check mate.

becoming the eyes and hands of a sentient forest your boyfriend created is peak boyfriendism, soulmate behavior, couple goals. maybe that's just me tho