(The Foxes) You Better Not Mess With My Gang Or You'll Be Messing With...

listen. listen. andrew is a space nerd. you can fight me and @happyminyards​ we will defend this until we’re dead. this headcanon was brought to you by late night musings with lauren n tina.

it fits andrew so well?? bcs andrew isn’t interested in a lot of things, he doesn’t allow himself to be? but space? space is so removed, it’s almost fantastical, but it’s still real?? it can’t hurt him or come back to bite him in the ass, but it’s big and there’s a lot of stuff to know, a lot of really almost unreal seeming stuff??

andrew who, one day, on the roof makes a noise and when neil turns to look at him just says “the iss is flying over” and neil is like?? the heck?? bcs?? why does andrew know that?? andrew just rolls his eyes and points to the bright dot quickly moving towards the horizon again.

andrew, who points out constellations bcs neil admits that he doesn’t know any (ofc it’s not something the butcher teaches).

neil catches him looking at pictures from the iss astronauts instagrams one day.

andrew who totally has a twitter account just to follow neil and curiosity.

andrew buying books on space and telling Neil random facts to distract him from panic attacks.

one day he gets into a heated debate about the possibility of.life on other planets and Neil sheds a tear because here is his boyfriend being passionate about something that was never forced on him like exy was.

neil buys andrew a shirt with the words “I believe” and a tiny space ship printed on them after Andrews argument about the probability of life on other planets and Andrew just gives him this withering stare and says “life on other planets is more likely to be tiny micro-organisms than it is full grown sentient beings capable of vehicular flight” but he wears it at least once a week anyway.

andrew dragging neil wordlessly to the car one night and driving out onto some random fields to catch a meteor shower (neil teases him about this ~romantic date~, andrew shuts him up by pushing him back on the grass and kissing him).

neil forcing everyone to watch sci fi space movies with them so andrew can grumble at the inaccuracies but also neil knows that he likes to watch the super hd space shots with all the stars.

neil dragging andrew to a science/space museum for his birthday, though they refuse to acknowledge that it’s his birthday.

when he has a nightmare or can’t sleep andrew will flop on the sofa with a laptop and watch documentaries, mainly ones about deep space, the furthest away you could get from the stuff haunting him. and whenever he’s okay with neil being close neil will join him, and he won’t admit it, but the feeling of neil’s breath on his collarbone probably calms him down just as much as neil degrasse tyson babbling away over eta carinae.

when neil has a nightmare that just happens to happen in the middle of the eta aquarid meteor shower which andrew had been wanting to see from the roof, but he doesn’t want to leave neil to wake up alone and scared so he sits by the window and smokes while neil is tossing and turning behind him (he won’t wake him up bc it just disorients neil more).

(neil wakes up eventually, realises that andrew is missing out on seeing the shower properly to stay close in case neil needs him and proceeds to drag them both up to the roof with blankets and snacks bc he refuses to take this away from andrew, even unknowingly).

SO YEAH. SPACE NERD ANDREW.

how did Richard casually mention doing cocaine in a burger king parking lot and then ONE LINE LATER call Judy a 'senseless cokehead'

my dude drop the superiority complex

I love reading The Secret History because you’ll get moments like

Richard: Maybe your smoking habit is why you feel like you can’t breathe

Francis: No that can’t possibly be it. I will also not go to the psychiatrist through

how do I explain to my friend that in the last ten pages of tsh, the alcoholic shoots the druggy, we find out that the incestuous sister of the alcoholic was hooking up with the homicidal sociopath, and that homicidal sociopath shoots himself in the head partly because his narcissistic father figure ran off to the Middle East unexpectedly, and the druggy survives the gunshot wound but hallucinates the paranoid victim of a murder that this group commited a few months prior along with a bunch of other dead people while he’s in the hospital, and then somehow everyone brushes this whole ordeal off as if it were completely normal

Don't FUCKING argue with me. "Neil Josten let his cigarette burn to the filter without taking a drag. He didn't want the nicotine; he wanted the acrid smoke that reminded him of his mother." Is a fucking dynamite intro!! Is it edgy as fuck? Yeah. So? Is it hella melodramatic? Probably. So? Is it bad writing? Motherfucking NO! It's damn near expert level execution of several writing principles!

Who is the story about? First two words, next question.

Catch the reader's attention as soon as possible? "Why the fuck is he wasting a cigarette?" Intrigue successfully demanded, next question.

Raise questions that will keep the reader hanging long enough to have answered? "Why the fuck does acrid smoke trigger his mommy issues?" + "Wait it's because he burned her corpse??" Many many more questions raised + blind sided reader via preconceived expectations being subverted, next question.

Character establishing moment? What other characters use for physical and emotional regulation, he uses to fucking reminisce and wallow in his feelings, next question.

Set the tone for the rest of the story? Edgy, melodramatic, and emotionally gut wrenching, NEXT. FUCKING. QUESTION!

The Muses asked Nora to roll for Hook and she rolled a nat 20 five times in a row in 30 words or less. Hook, Line, and motherfucking Sinker bitches

Some of y'all need to stop ragging on AFTG's writing and start using it as a fucking case study cus this shit has the addiction capacity of heroine and god help the goddamn saltine cracker throwing stones

Andrew Minyard is the Smartest Ever and I Need to Discuss It

So one night Andrew and Neil are both perching on Andrew’s desk which he has pushed by the window because they’re both blowing their smoke out through the screen 

It’s finals week and all of Neil’s books are scattered underneath where they are sitting 

Andrew is already done his finals because seniors take theirs early 

The seniors are celebrating senior week but Andrew much rather prefers staying in and pretending it’s a hardship helping Neil study even though he secretly doesn’t mind 

And after they’re done smoking, Andrew says something like “you sure have become a slob for a former runaway” and Neil just rolls his eyes and dramatically swipes all the papers and books from the desk into his backpack to shut Andrew up 

Not realizing that he accidentally swept some of Andrew’s papers from the desk 

Probably because they made out on the desk for about 45 minutes afterward

So the next day when Neil is trying to cram during his five minutes between exams he starts rummaging through his bag for his notes 

And instead finds a letter 

And he’s confused why he has a university official letter in his bag and starts reading it 

But then he notices it’s addressed to Andrew 

So he’s about to stop 

But TOO LATE because then he sees in bold letters 

“Congratulations on being this year’s Valedictorian" 

And Neil sucks in a breath so hard that he starts choking 

And now he has to fucking SIT THROUGH an entire FUCKING EXAM knowing this information 

I mean Neil knew Andrew was smart but he did not know he was this smart

That even when Andrew was hospitalized he was still doing his work and getting straight A's 

Cause Andrew has always gotten straight A's 

When he was in the foster system he probably used doing homework and studying and reading as an outlet 

And Neil spends at least half of his english exam wondering when in the world Andrew has time to study between Exy practices and Neil being a constant pain in his ass 

But then Neil starts to put some of the pieces together and thinks about all the times he was studying and Andrew would just be reading in the corner 

Or how Andrew never misses any of his classes for anything unless Neil says he needs him 

And now Neil feels guilty for any time that he pulled Andrew from class 

And Neil knows Andrew’s schedule by heart except it never really clicked that Andrew has been in 400 level classes since Neil has known him 

But Andrew never puts in effort!!! With anything!!! So it doesn’t make sense!!! Except it /does/ because Andrew only puts in effort if nobody is asking him to 

Nobody ever hounds Andrew about classes or his grades probably thinking it would be pointless to do so 

Except nobody apparently had to because Neil apparently has the smartest boyfriend in the world 

His dick might be half hard by the time he hands in his exam

I mean he basically pops a boner every time Andrew wears his glasses so it is #confirmed he has a huge kink for intelligence and intelligent looks

So Neil gets through his English exam and rushes back to his dorm 

That he shares with Andrew and Kevin 

And he barges in and is looking down at the paper saying “You’re valedictorian??!!??” 

And when he looks up he realizes it isn’t just Andrew in the room 

Neil is stunned into silence 

Andrew is perched in his regular spot 

And all of the rest of the foxes are scattered across the floor watching a movie together like literally ALL OF THEM like the past foxes too because they came to visit!!!! Because Neil only has one last exam tomorrow but also to sort of have an excuse to be there for the other foxes’ graduation

But now all eyes are on Andrew

And Andrew is looking at Neil with the most passive expression 

Nicky is the first to speak letting out a stunned “What the fuck" 

He earns a glare from Andrew

Kevin, Matt, and Aaron are looking between Neil and Andrew in complete shock 

Renee looks unsurprised but gives Andrew this small proud mom smile 

Kevin, Matt, and Aaron are literally giving themselves whiplash 

Dan and Allison are just sort of looking at Neil for further explanation since they know they won’t get any from Andrew 

But Neil doesn’t have any explanation 

And he’s short circuiting because everybody is there 

Also he feels like he just revealed one of Andrew’s big secrets or something 

But Andrew just slides off the desk and walks over to Neil 

And takes the paper out of Neil’s hands 

Whips out his lighter 

Sets the paper on fire 

Drops it in the bin 

And says “guess I’m not valedictorian anymore" 

Before retreating back to his perch like nothing happened

Forcing everybody to act like nothing happened like the little shit he is

Later on, Neil brings it up while hovering over his math textbook trying to memorize the last few equations and failing

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Andrew ignores his question in favor of picking up a piece of paper and scribbling a bunch of numbers on it

“Solve this”

So Neil sighs, figuring he’s not going to get anywhere else tonight and solves the equation and hands it back to Andrew

But Andrew doesn’t take it, just raises an eyebrow and says “What did you get?”

And Neil reads out “286%” before realizing what it actually means.

Part 3

Andrew minyard

ready for Valentine's Day 💘