To Briefly Revisit My Decade Old Labyrinth Hyperfixation, I Think It Would Be Neat If Sarah Grows Up,

to briefly revisit my decade old Labyrinth hyperfixation, I think it would be neat if Sarah grows up, has a teenage daughter who finds her book and while in a pissy mood wishes goblins would take her mother away

just imagining Sarah freaking the fuck out, taking the extremely limited amount of time she knows she has left to load up her confused daughter with all of the iron jewellery she never usually takes off, peppering her with instructions not to eat ANY of the food and vague warnings about illusions in the walls

and then suddenly before she knows it her mother is just gone, and she's being told by a strange glittery man that she must begin her own journey through the Labyrinth to find her mother

the funniest part however would be Jareth finishing his spiel to the daughter and returning to his castle to properly greet his new hostage with no fucking clue who he just snatched, and finds to his surprise and horror a Too Old For This Shit Sarah absolutely rampaging through the halls threatening to tear down his entire world all over again if he doesn't take her back to her daughter right the fuck now

I can't decide which is funnier, the tale ending with Jareth lobbing Sarah at her daughter before she even gets one foot into the Labyrinth and fucks them off home immediately, or the daughter completing her shockingly easy journey through the Labyrinth only to find her mother sitting in the king's throne with a dazed Jareth under her heel and terrified goblins waiting on her hand and foot