This Post By Catgirlforeskin Has Nearly 1500 Notes As Of The Moment, So As A Trans Woman And Transfeminist

"Transandrophobia isn't real because that implies trans women oppress trans men" it doesn't, but do you think this way because you think transmisogyny means trans men oppress trans women?

"Transandrophobia is reactionary to transmisogyny and is just a way to make trans men feel special and more important" it isn't, but do you think that way because you think Transmisogyny is more "special and important" than other forms of oppression?

"Androphobia and misandry aren't real, so transandrophobia can't be" because you're basing your viewpoint on transmisogyny, and misogyny is the ultimate victimhood for you, right? Because we can't have a conversation separate from transmisogyny, because transmisogyny is the worst form of victimization, and everything stems from misogyny, especially transmisogyny. If you're not talking about misogyny, you might as well shut up.

And we can't have issues that aren't shared with cis people, because otherwise we aren't "really" men and women. Because white cishet people are the ones we should be looking to when we "prove" our identity through our suffering, right?

To be a woman, you have to suffer. To be a man, you can never suffer. You can never just be. You have guilt and shame and violence and self sacrifice to be doing if you dare to transition into power.

Because if you, a trans man, don't have male privilege, that must mean that trans women do, because we all live in opposite to eachother, even though the framework of male privilege is something made by and for cis people. If trans women are suffering, that must mean that you aren't.

You can't talk about your own life or struggles or else you're indirectly talking about trans women, and cis men, and cis women, and everyone else except you.

(And fuck non-binary and intersex people and whatever they have going on with their identities that shits just not important to our oppositional viewpoint, right? We can make them fit in this box based off of their genitals, anyway. Dont bring racism into this either, you're just being misogynistic if you do.)

You, random trans person who wants a trans man to kill himself for talking about his oppression, how are you different than a regular transphobe. quickly

A vent, inspired by conversations from earlier about sexual entitlement

As a nonbinary person who likes to present in a way that gets interpreted as "goth woman" the fucking entitlement that people have over me/my sexuality is wild.

Like on one hand you've got the people who want me to be their goth dommy mommy and too and/or dom them when like. I can switch and dom people on occasion, but there's very few people I consider it worth it to do. In sex (not kink) I am exclusively a bottom and thankfully that hasn't been an issue but that's usually because when people realize I'm not going to dom them they stop pursuing things.

But on the other hand there's the people who do respect me as a sub and a bottom, but because I'm goth and kinky they take it as a blanket permission to just like, live out whatever sexual fantasy they have. Just straight up sexual assault on a somewhat regular basis because people can't be bothered to ask before they start to choke me because I'm goth and kinky and they've seen it in porn so it must be fine (it's not, you can kill someone even if you choke them properly, and a solid chunk of these people don't actually know how to do it properly).

So yeah as someone read as a "goth woman" it feels like it's literally impossible to get away from people having sexual expectations of me and being annoyed when I'm not a conscious sex toy that'll do whatever it is they want me to. Like it's one thing when it's just jokes, I don't mind playing along when someone asks me to step on them or whatever, but when people are seriously expecting me to be sexual in specific ways that I'm just not it can get really really awful.

And it was really frustrating a few months ago when comp top/"let trans women be bottoms/subs" discourse was going around TRF circles and they were like "trans women have been through a lot and they deserve to be taken care of instead of needing to take care of others" (which I agree with) "so therefore if you're not a trans woman you should dom/top and take care of trans women" when like.

I am someone who has been through significantly worse trauma than most people I know, and have always been placed in the role of taking care of others. Part of why I only dom certain people is because of my trauma of being forced to raise my younger brothers and play parent to my own mother. I am very much in the category of people who've been through it who have always been expected to do things for others and who deserves to be taken care of. And there was just no acknowledgement from that group that people other than trans women might be in the position of having had to take care of others and being deserving of support and care now.

It feels like the same entitlement as the people irl who want me to be their goth dommy mommy. Society has decided that people like me are people it's fair to feel entitlement towards, and like. That entitlement is in a large part why I can't be what people want. I'm a human being, and while I know how to take care and be there for others, I'm not going to do it without being taken care of myself because I've spent too many years of my life giving to others and getting nothing in return.

Everyone deserves to be happy, to have the sexual experiences that they're looking to have, to be taken care of if that's what they wish, but while we all deserve these things it is unfair to expect them to come from any specific individual, and if someone is telling you no to these things you find someone else to ask, not try to get your needs met by someone who has made it clear they don't want to.

Very well said anon. <3

i hate you "haha men are so boring"

i hate you "ugh, why would you become a man"

i hate you "kill all men, including trans men"

i hate you "men will never understand the real feminine rage"

i hate you "trans men are becoming the enemy"

i hate you "men don't love like women do"

i hate you every gender essentialist radfem bullshit sentiment thats disproportionately used against transmascs to dehumanize us, frame us as less worthy, less trans, less worth listening to and believing.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I fell asleep in my friends' arms. It was eleven at night, we were tired, curled up in a small pile on my tiny bed. I had my head buried in my roommate's side, and one of my closest friend's hand on my shoulder, steadying me. It was quiet and nothingness and peace and their heartbeats in my ears, my hands in their hair.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

We pack four people to that little bed, you know. Laps used as footrests, collarbones as pillows, little lights like moonlight in rustic yellow bathed on their faces. The TV plays an anime. The words are repeated by my dear friend on my shoulder, curled close. My legs are asleep; my roommate may be, too.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

The cat curls on top of our criss cross mess of legs and arms and heads on chests to absorb the warmth of us all. She purrs in contented peace. When my roommate and I are left alone in the quiet, she cries, and watches the door for our friends' return.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I will never kiss them but the top of their heads. I will never touch but the warmth of their arms. I will never take more than what's freely given, and in return I put my glasses on the bedside table fashioned from a guitar amp, and when I lean into their sides, I pick up my vulnerability and place it in their capable, tender hands.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I sing for them. I cry for them. I work and I run and I withstand the worst of the world for them, because some days I get to cradle their forehead on my shoulder and some days I get to see their shining eyes.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

Maybe to you. But look beyond explanation. I love them. With my heart in my unsteady hands, with my nose pressed to the side of their head, with the buzzing in my feet and the warmth all around Iike the sunset pushing into the window.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

Is it enough to say I love them? With no strings attached? With reckless abandon and utter devotion and freedom and kindness and fear?

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I cannot explain it any clearer. I love my friends. There is no more to say.

2004

am i real?

post by : @playingonmydsi <3

I put this in the comments but I figured I'd put it in reblogs too

I think what anon is referring to is not the coining of the term nonbinary itself, but instead the person who made the nonbinary flag. Here's one of the posts stating why they pushed for the term and flag.

#we can't have anything focused on our mascness and all more general trans terms ('egg'/'t-slur'/'t4t') all actually Belong to trans women#we're chock full of cooties and if we use the wrong words or try to make our own we're just gonna infect the trans community with them

can I add just remember non-binary got made because “too many” afab genderqueer people were in the tags so it was made for amab ones.?? Still don’t know how any of that worked but I will never use nb over genderqueer after finding that out

I was trying to look into this but couldn't find anything indicating that. Would you mind sharing where you heard that from? The term seems to have been coined on its own but not popularized until the 2010s or so; I wouldn't be surprised if negative sentiment towards people afab identifying as genderqueer heavily contributed to that popularity considering how certain people have talked about us. But I'd still like to find that information for myself if you have any direction towards it.