You, Random Trans Person Who Wants A Trans Man To Kill Himself For Talking About His Oppression, How

The way "transemasculation" has been seemingly re-coined as the sole replacement for transandrophobia, anti-transmasculinity, etc. is gross enough by itself, but as far as I can tell, the term had ALREADY been coined in 2022 ALONG WITH talking about antimasculism (both described here). And I just. I knew it wasn't in good faith in the first place, but to not even do 5 minutes of research before trying to coin a term about experiences you don't have...? Hello?

something that I think might be missing a bit from discussions about transandrophobia (specifically when it comes to saying that it's just transphobia/misogyny, or that the only oppression trans guys face is being erased or infantilised) is that this literally is not the case for a lot of trans guys. transphobes do not see me as a "soft feminine confused stolen daughter", they see me as a predator trying to take their daughters from them. I am harassed and threatened out of the women's restrooms I'm forced in to, they think my testosterone makes me angry and violent, they think I am converting their "daughters" to transgenderism, they think I'm transitioning to perv on their sons. it's important to talk about the harm that invisibility and infantilization causes, but do not act like the oppression that trans men face stops there.

It may seem strange how many "progressives" are angered by the pretty obvious and milquetoast assertion that "Bigotry is a problem of broader society that manifests on many websites in many ways". But if you concede that 4chan isn't this unique font of absolute evil, a certain sort of tumblr user would lose one of their favourite pejoratives for trans women. Like the whole "4chan basement loser" thing already fits into their idea of trans women (at least the ones they don't wanna fuck) as "pathetic fail men". And by acting like mere association with 4chan (real or imagined) politically taints you in a way that say facebook or tumblr doesn't, you don't even have to feel guilty because those weird trannies are obviously bad people who love bigotry no further explanation needed. Sure there's no shortage of ways you can justify harassing trans women but a lot that requires more work; you need to spend like 5 seconds looking up what she actually said or did. Throwing out "they're a channer" (while yourself being a tumblr user) is just too convenient to give up

What an absolutely strange and deranged thing to comment under a reel about a lesbian couple getting married dude.....

This post by catgirlforeskin has nearly 1500 notes as of the moment, so as a trans woman and transfeminist myself, I'm going to provide some context on where this is coming from.

Firstly, it's obviously a deliberate lie because T4T just plain never meant transbians exclusively. That's just objectively not true and no one has ever once produced any evidence to the contrary.

We can tell it's disingenuous he constant whining about completely inane shit and bang out such comically over the top maudlin trash over how "personally upsetting" it is inevitably always comes from people like the OP, which is to say, absolutely holy fuck massive transphobes.

As an aside, TRFs seem incapable of realizing that gay disabled trans men of color exist. I'm sure that doesn't play a part in their conceptualizing all trans men as being essentially cishet White men.

Then, of course, to further sell this, they'll continue to make excuses for why it's okay when they're transphobic, such as when OP answered this question about the term th**fab:

Again, there's the immediate issue that this is a lie, other trans people are generally not any crueler to us than we are to them, I cannot emphasize enough that the idea behind the justification for th**fab is just completely fucking made up, but the bigger picture here is how these two things are framed.

Other trans people are cruel to trans women. Trans women are partaking in a "half-hearted way of hitting back."

The self-infantilization in the name of denying one is capable of harm is gross, but what else is new. Trans women are innocent fragile babies with paper skin and glass bones who can't do anything because they're just too pitifully weak. Poor dolls. Boohoo, the poor dolls.

TRFs might, occasionally, say they don't necessarily approve of trans women using it in this way, but understand the frustration that leads to it. Which is not really the gentle, nuanced take you'd expect of someone who randomly called all non-binary people in general that word in the process of asserting that they're too unfuckable to have problems like trans women do.

Which, as a side-note, is also the cause of the false claim about the term femboy. Supposedly everyone else is just acting out their fantasies of trans women but just don't want to say they're trans women. It can't be that some people simply like boys who crossdress.

Can someone tell me what OP, self-admittedly not a "woman who's completely in the grip of the sorta bitterness and despair that leads to that way of acting sometimes," was calling out as transmisogynistic in that screencap? Anyone? Can someone work that puzzle out? It's funny these folks seem determined to rewrite history on that one but are just totally a-okay with saying c***tboys should commit suicide.

The point of the post is this: Do not listen to these people. Never let them tell you trans men weren't there from the beginning playing just as much a part in shaping trans culture as anyone. Do not let yourself be guilted. Do not let their constant unbearable affected angst affect you or your choices. And especially do not let it affect how you see yourself, or your position in the community. Anyone saying otherwise will always be coming from a place of bigotry.

There are no sincere concerns, real wounds, or genuinely upset feelings about catboys supposedly being a rip off of catgirls, which, by the way, would not be transfem-originated anyway just like forcefem isn't. Resist the urge to allow people to tell you to give up pieces of yourself or things that make you happy on baseless accusations of appropriation.

Any trans women who cares about you, which is by far the vast majority of us, will tell you this in a heartbeat.

why are people so willing to throw young transmascs under the bus :( feels like our own community still sees us as hysterical girls that can’t be trusted to make our own choices

the spectre of "transmasculinity as a disease which corrupts the purity of cis girlhood" remains strong I see.

Also "testosterone works just as well at 25" GIRL THE GROWTH PLATES. GIRL THE HIP BONES.

hey, other trans women, group pep talk here:

not liking being seen as a man doesn't give you the right to treat men like shit.

not wanting to be associated with manhood, personally, does not mean you get to treat people who DO want to be associated with manhood like shit.

not wanting your body to have high levels of testosterone does not give you the right to tell other people that testosterone is a "poison" or that it will "ruin your body". testosterone was bad for you. it's not bad for everyone. i was forced on to estrogen HRT as a teenager due to being intersex and i literally fucking hated every single moment of it because it made me miserable. estrogen is not "pure" and testosterone is not "evil". estrogen almost ruined my health and my life.

you are traumatized by cisheternormative patriarchy. you are not traumatized by the concept of manhood.

trans men are not talking about their struggles with corrective rape, misgendering, transandrophobia, misogyny, violence, homelessness, substance abuse and domestic violence to diminish what we go through. we BOTH face these issues and for some reason you're just literally choosing to erase what an entire group of people that you don't occupy goes through for... what exactly ?

hating trans men and misgendering them and treating them like shit is transphobia.

what are you trying to accomplish here? do you give a fuck about trans rights at all? or is this about feeling powerless in cisheternormative society, so you feel you have to control someone else?

if trans women talking about the experience of being a trans woman doesn't take space away from trans men talking about the experience of being trans men, then the opposite isn't true, either.

if the concept of transmisogyny doesn't take space away from people discussing transandrophobia, then the opposite is also true.

do y'all hear yourselves? hating trans men won't make cisheternormative society like you better. hating trans men won't make transmisogyny go away. throwing trans men under the bus won't make queerphobes treat and accept you better. all you're doing is being transphobic. who does that help exactly?

ask yourself: are you in this because you want to express who you are on the inside, or are you in this to be a bully? if the only reason you're here is to treat men like shit because you don't like being seen as a man, the door is right there. kissing up to rad fems won't make them see you as more of a woman, just so you're painfully aware. they will always hate us. stop sucking up to people who literally want you to die.

trans women aren't the only trans people who suffer under cisheternormative patriarchy. accept this and move on. stop finding every excuse you can think of to misgender other trans people. it's not going to help you heal from your dysphoria and the trauma society has given you.

'You're a child you didn't live through the ages of REAL transphobia like us. Thats why you became a tmra!'

The trans kid in question, who is from the global south.

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The American Negro has the great advantage of having never believed that collection of myths to which white Americans cling: that their ancestors were all freedom-loving heroes, that they were born in the greatest country the world has ever seen, or that Americans are invincible in battle and wise in peace, that Americans have always dealt honourably with Mexicans and Indians and all other neighbours or inferiors…. Negroes know far more about white Americans than that…. And perhaps this attitude, held in spite of what they know and have endured, helps to explain why Negroes, on the whole, and until lately, have allowed themselves to feel so little hatred. The tendency has really been, insofar as this was possible, to dismiss white people as the slightly mad victims of their own brainwashing. One watched the lives they led. One could not be fooled about that; one watched the things they did and the excuses that they gave themselves, and if a white man was really in trouble, deep trouble, it was to the Negro’s door that he came. And one felt that if one had had that white man’s worldly advantages, one would never have become as bewildered and as joyless and as thoughtlessly cruel as he. The Negro came to the white man for a roof or for five dollars or for a letter to the judge; the white man came to the Negro for love. But he was not often able to give what he came seeking. The price was too high; he had too much to lose. And the Negro knew this, too. When one knows this about a man, it is impossible for one to hate him, but unless he… becomes equal—it is also impossible for one to love him.… (Ask any Negro what he knows about the white people with whom he works. And then ask the white people with whom he works what they know about him.)

— James Baldwin, The Fire Next Time