Tony: Here's A Helpful Grammar Tip: "further" Is For Metaphorical Distance And "farther" Is For Physical

Annoying neighbor

A/N: Written for @saiyanprincessswanie ‘s writing challenge. Prompt used: Annoying Neighbour. I ALWAYS wanted to write a single Dad Tony, the amount of feels?! Feedback is love!

Pairing: Single parent! Tony Stark x F! Reader

Warnings: Fluff

Word count: 2.3k ish

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Tap. Tap. Tap.

There it was again.

The pestering sound of metal tapping against your window. Every time you tried to ignore it and fall back asleep, it would start again and irritate you.

Clicking your tongue, you threw your blankets aside and got out to investigate. Sure enough, it was a toy plane stuck on a branch of the tree right outside your window that was striking against the glass.

The cool night air met your face harshly as you opened the panes and reached out to grab the toy. Your neighbor was probably awake again, that you figured given their bedroom light was perpetually on whenever you happened to glance there.

He probably had trouble sleeping, you had figured. Or preferred to work at night because you rarely saw him in day time.

The one time you did, he had been friendly, had a charming smile and striking facial hair and a face you couldn’t really forget. Dressed in a crisp suit, you had concluded he was very well to do, also that his cars screamed all things rich. But you somehow never caught his name.

After grabbing a hold of it, you perched the plane on your desk, making a mental note of finding out who it belonged to in the morning.

With that, you went back to bed with a relieved sigh, unaware of the fact that there was a rather upset five year old right next door, on a lookout for her lost toy.

..

Work was hectic the next day, you had a terrible headache by the time you reached home. A glass of wine and a nice, long bath was all you needed.

You had everything set up, the water was just the right temperature, the room filled with the aroma of your favourite essential oils and a glass of vino for company.

Your head merely touched the back rest of the tub when a loud crash reached your ears, alarming you out of wits. Your best guess being one of your windows had been broken, that eventually was right.

Letting out a frustrated groan, you pulled on a bathrobe and made your way down the stairs angrily, muttering curses under your breath.

Sure enough, several glass pieces lay shattered by the window sill in your kitchen, along with a toy robot? Perhaps that’s what it was, a tiny red and gold armoured robot that had flown inside, breaking your glass window.

As you looked around, your vision landed on your neighboring house, and sure enough, there was a flurry of movement and the curtains were drawn close quickly.

Was it him? If it was, he was about to get an earful.

Storming outside, you held the toy bot in one hand, not bothering about changing out of your robe as you walked up to the front door of your neighbor, glancing at the nameplate which read The Starks in a rather fancy format.

Three sharp knocks and you waited. Waited for the man to show up and explain himself for ruining an already miserable day.

“I know you’re in there!” You muttered out loud, finally hearing footsteps approach.

The doors swung open to reveal a little girl with brown hair, matching eyes wide with apprehension as she stared up at you.

“Oh.”

Is all you could say as your anger dissipated away. You realised you were still clutching the toy in your hand that probably belonged to the kid.

“Uh, hi. Is this yours?”

From the corner of your eye, you saw a man peek through a column before straightening up and walking over to his daughter.

It was him! And he had a kid? That was quite unexpected, you thought.

“Daddy had the remote.”

She spoke, making you chuckle as she pointed to his Dad before running back inside the house.

“Thanks for ratting me out!” He called out after her before turning back to you and flashing you a winning grin and holding his hand out.

“I’m Tony, Tony Stark. Your next door neighbor and lawbreaker.”

You chuckled and shook hands, introducing yourself and looking down at your hands still clasped together.

“I’m really sorry about your window, I’ll have it fixed, I promise.”

“So it was your idea to let your kid open the door so I wouldn’t yell? Really classy.”

You teased, watching Tony let out a nervous chuckle and scratch the back of his head.

“It worked, didn’t it?”

He was right.

Tony’s brows furrowing and he perhaps hid a smile as he took in your outfit, you were in your bathrobe.

“Matter of life and death?” He smirked.

“I had to know if my house was being broken into.”

“Fair enough.” Tony held his hands up in defeat.

You exchanged polite conversation back and forth, he seemed smart and funny, he had interesting insights and was someone you could get along with easily.

You made plans of catching up over a cup of coffee before saying goodbye.

He turned back around to catch a glimpse as you walked back to your house, meeting your eyes with a chuckle as you did the same, waving at him before heading back inside with a big smile on your face.

…

It was close to four in the morning when you finally made it home after a girls night out. It had been a week, and you very much needed to unwind.

Killing the car lights, you got out, only to see Tony sitting alone on his porch steps, nursing a cup of coffee in his hands.

“You’re about three hours too early for coffee, I think.”

Tony’s head snapped in your direction as he heard your voice, letting out a soft laugh at your words.

“Rough night?”

You called out more softly, smiling when he patted the ground next to him, gesturing you to join him on the steps.

“Rough week.”

“Tell me about it.”

You let out a sigh as you sat down opposite him, leaning against the pillar behind, closing your eyes for a brief moment, feeling Tony’s eyes on you.

“So, Mr. Stark, what’s keeping you up at night?”

Tony tried to ignore the way his heart fluttered at you calling him ‘Mr Stark’ smirking as he offered you the mug he was holding.

“Lots of things, Miss Y/L/N, my work, Morgan, this divine mug of Chardonnay.”

“Wine in a coffee mug? I think I like you already.” You teased, sipping on the wine he had offered.

There were many ways your night could’ve ended, sitting on your neighbour’s porch drinking wine wasn’t something you had fathomed.

“That and I broke the only wine glass we had left.”

He hung his head, chuckling to himself before the front door opened, revealing Morgan rubbing her eyes sleepily, clutching a stuffed rabbit to her side looking between the two of you curiously.

“What are you doing up, Maguna?”

Tony held out his hand for his daughter while you watched Morgan curl up in his lap adoringly.

“Did Daddy break another window?”

She turned to face you, her brown eyes full of sleep. Her question making the two of you giggle, Tony kissed the top of her head sweetly.

“He has a habit of breaking things, huh?”

You teased, winking at Morgan who nodded shyly, giving you a smile. Tony had called in someone to fix your window the very next morning after the infamous incident and paid for it before you could protest.

“Would you like to come over for a movie night tomorrow?”

Tony asked out of the blue, finally mustering up the courage to ask you out - something he had been planning on for days. Fidgeting with Morgan’s toy absentmindedly, he waited for you to respond.

You pretended to think about it, but really there wasn’t much to think about, you found the man interesting and so did he. What you didn’t expect was him asking you on a date with Morgan.

“Well it depends, are we watching The Lion King and are we having ice-cream?”

Your grin widened when Morgan screamed ‘yes’ breaking the silence of the night with her tiny, excited squeal.

Tony whispered something in her ear and she ran off inside, leaving the two of you alone once again.

He walked you back to your house, glancing at you every so often as if to check if you’d changed your mind.

“That is one first date my five year old is most looking forward to.”

Tony scratched the back of his head as you unlocked your front door, leaning an arm against the door frame.

“I can never pass on my favourite movie and ice cream.”

“Duly noted. So, tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow it is. Good night, Stark.”

You wanted to hug the man, but you settled for a quick kiss to his cheek before stepping inside, your heart fluttering hopelessly.

“Sleep well, (Y/N).”

…

You must’ve checked yourself in the mirror a hundred times before finalising on an outfit for the evening. Sure, it wasn’t a fancy one but you made an effort to dress your best.

Grabbing the bottle of wine you got for Tony, you closed the door behind you and headed over to his place, fixing your hair while waiting for him to open the door.

The man was holding a bunch of red roses as he opened the door for you, bowing in exaggeration as he held the flowers up, making you giggle.

“Welcome to my humble abode. You look beautiful.”

Pressing a quick kiss to your cheek, he placed his hand on the small of your back, leading you inside. You could feel his lips linger on your skin long after the kiss as you walked inside, waving hello to Morgan who practically ran down the stairs to greet you.

You had brought the toy plane that had landed up near your window weeks ago. The moment you took it out from your purse, Morgan let out a happy squeal and hugged your legs tight, elated at finding her lost toy.

“I want to show (Y/N) my toys!”

Without waiting for an answer, Morgan grabbed your hand and pulled you towards her room. Chuckling at her enthusiasm, you glanced back at Tony who simply raised his hands in defeat, watching the two of you go upstairs with a fond grin.

“My date’s been hijacked. Pizza arrives in ten ladies!” He called out before heading to the kitchen to grab a couple of wine glasses.

When you returned, Tony had set everything up in the living room, blankets over the couch, a big bowl of popcorn, pizza boxes and wine. It was perfect.

“Ready?”

“I want to sit next to (Y/N)!” Morgan exclaimed, clutching your hand with both of hers, making Tony narrow his eyes at the two of you playfully.

“Well me too.”

Tony shrugged and took a seat in a corner, leaving you to sit in the middle between the two of them.

As the movie played along, you sipped on wine, occasionally stealing glances at Tony who had scooted closer to you, placing his arm on the back of the couch, hovering over your neck. At times you felt his fingers through your hair, playing with it every so often, sending tingles down your spine.

By the time the credits rolled, Morgan was fast asleep with her head in your lap and your hand around her middle to keep her from rolling off the sofa. You covered her with a blanket before leaning back against the sofa, letting out a soft sigh.

Carefully, Tony picked her up and carried her back to the bedroom, whispering ‘I’ll be back’ to you.

Carrying the empty pizza boxes in the kitchen, you were about to refill your glass when Tony strolled in, standing right behind you and reaching around to grab your wine glass, letting his hand linger over yours.

“Allow me.”

You felt your breathing halt for a moment as you felt his breath against your cheek, teasing before he swiftly moved away.

“So.”

“So…not your ideal first date?”

You turned around and leaned against the counter, watching Tony follow suit, this time your shoulders touched.

“Wouldn’t call it traditional, but I had a lot of fun. Morgan is adorable. Is she um, I mean are you—”

“Her mother and I parted ways a long time ago. She never wanted a child, which is why she left Morgan to me.” Tony shrugged.

“That must’ve been hard for you.” You placed your hand on top of his and gave it a reassuring squeeze, getting a small smile in return.

“It was. I actually would put her diapers on wrong for an entire week, before finally getting it right.”

You didn’t know if it was the wine or the moment or both really, but you felt the urge to kiss Tony’s cheek. As you leaned in to do so, he turned his head to face you, glancing down at your lips before meeting your gaze silently asking permission. You closed your eyes and captured his lips in a soft kiss that nearly made you weak in the knees.

You were about to break the kiss and move away when you felt Tony pull you back in, this time standing between your legs and snaking an arm around your waist while the other carded through your hair, his lips molding against yours, tasting and exploring. His syrupy kisses tasted of coffee and berries, something you could get addicted to.

When you finally broke apart, you were grinning ear to ear, touching your forehead to his, your breaths a little shallower.

“You know, you aren’t too bad for an annoying neighbour, Stark.”

“Yeah? I don’t promise not to break more of your windows though.” He chuckled, pecking your lips a couple of times.

“I think I can live with that…”

Them: Ok yeah, Criminal Minds is good and all but that tech girl Garcia?? Shes SO annoying like omfg can she just s t o p

Me:

Tony: Why does everyone assume the worst of me?

Steve: It saves time.

Hey can we talk about this

how at the end of Iron Man 3, we were reassured that Tony Stark would be back.

while for the other MCU heroes, we got this…

… not “Steve Rogers will return” or “Scott Lang will return” or “Peter Parker will return”

and at the end of BP, we see “Black Panther will return in Avengers: Infinty War”

We get their masked identities. Their superhero aliases. Their alter egos.

When we think of Captain America, Ant-Man, Spider-Man, Black Panther, etc., we think of them as the heroes who we could rely on to help us, kick ass, and save the day, right?

And what do we think of when we hear the name Tony Stark?

Here, Tony’s actual name, not his alias, is in the same position as the others, reminding us that Iron Man may be powerful, but the true person we can trust to come and save us is Tony Stark. Iron Man has firepower, but Tony has more to offer the world than just his armor. If he ever finds himself in a situation where he doesn’t have a suit, you bet he’ll find another way to save the day.

That’s what he does. He’s a mechanic. He sees a problem and he fixes it. Yeah, he has an awesome suit of armor that helps him kick ass, but that’s just a high tech prosthesis, an extension of himself, an amplification of his true superpower — his brain and his heart.

Even without Iron Man, Tony Stark is a hero.

idk what’s worse.. being in love with someone who will never know you exist or someone who doesn’t even exist

every episode of criminal minds

lady: walking down dark alley slowly and alone (everything a woman would never do)

white guy in hoodie: hey

lady: AHH

white guy in hoodie: u look like my mom *stabs her* *takes her toes*

—

emily: and then i got drunk and slammed that bitch’s head into the bar counter

derek: haha thats great-

jj: its a bad one *hands out files*

emily: let me eat you out

(in the conference room)

jj: so yeah this guy stabs ladies. but now, he takes their toes

spencer: hes escalating

hotch: 😡😡😡 wheels up in 30

(zoom in on the plane)

jj: if when you do, but i cannot for the yes of he was what i no 💖 -lil huddy

(in the plane)

emily: sexual sadist

spencer: the history of toes is actually a long starting with the ancient indians they used to-

derek: dont make me put ur head through the plane window pretty boy. although i know you would love that

spencer: 😳😑

garcia on the phone: okay so i made a list of all the white guys in arizona.

derek: i want to taste ur guts

garcia: impale me with ur cock

hotch: thanks garcia 😡😡😡

—

detective alzhiemers: we spoke on the phone and i invited u here but i just want u to know i dont trust a single fucking thing you say. wow agent jareau u got that barbie doll build.

hotch: 😡 where can we set up

(at the crime scene)

rossi: 👁👄👁 he took their toes. but u can see the bone here.

(camera zooms in on derek)

derek: *takes off his sunglasses* *flexes* hes devolving

(at the m.e)

doctor dr. : so basically he kills them. u can see because theyre dead. he takes their toes but its sloppy.

emily: he must be doing it because he doesnt have any toes.

reid: *calling garcia* we need a list

(music escalates)

—

spencer: yeah so basically hes white and a sexual sadist

hotch: mid 30s, his mother didnt love him

emily: HES IMPOTENT because his girlfriend cut off his balls

derek: and he does not have toes. we gotta catch him fast. *picks up a call from garcia*

jj: i will be telling the press so we can get calls about men without toes.

garcia: hey my 12 inch bad dragon dick. i found him- Ben Serialkiller, 54 creep lane. born without toes, his mom kicked him out when he was 5.

derek: thanks babygirl. remind me to kiss ur feet tonight.

rossi: god am i old enough to die

detective alzheimers: actually i think youre completely wrong.

emily: we dont fucking care shut up limpdick

other cops: okay we believe you now

—

(in a dark basement)

spencer: Ben, i get it. u dont have to kill these women. *puts the gun down and takes off kevlar for no fucking reason* my mom tried to kill me too. but im not a serial killer.

white guy in hoodie: you dont get it.

rossi: you dont want to kill her. we can let the world know of your struggle, ben. we will teach them of a world with men without toes.

white guy in hoodie: okay i guess. *lets go of lady* *cries*

hotch: 😡😡😡 *cuffs him*

—

morgan, on the jet: u did good today, kid.

reid: thanks. i wonder what my life would be like if i didnt have 3 lifetimes of trauma on my 27 year old back.

morgan: hahaha

emily, joining in: hahahaha. loser

hotch: 😡😡😡 i wish i had emotions

jj: i miss my kids

emily: can we fuck yet

jj: fine i guess

(picture of the sky)

rossi: And in the end, if I eated soap, no I didnt because I yes ✨ -hitler