Latest Posts by yasminwashere - Page 3

Steve: The door is locked.

Bucky: That’s okay. Locks are my specialty.

Bucky: [smashes the window]

Bruce: We promised Steve we would prepare for the mission.

Y/N: No, Bruce, you promised Steve. See, I never promise Steve anything. That way, I never disappoint him. I try to be considerate.

(Bonus)

Tony: Do you really care about disappointing him, though?

Y/N: No. Absolutely not.

Peter, angrily: ARE YOU-

MJ: Fucking

Peter: -KIDDING ME?

Ned: ...what was that?

MJ: Happy banned Peter from swearing, so I volunteered to help him out.

Ned: I think you just like saying fuck.

MJ: That doesn't make my job any less important.

Bucky: FOUR MONTHS

Steve: What's going on?

Sam: Bucky, it's not a big deal-

Bucky: FOUR MONTHS YOU STOOD THERE AND WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT

Cop: Excuse me sir we got a call that you had pot in your car

Wade: Oh you mean this pot *pulls out flower pot*

Cop: Oh haha my mistake, what are you growing?

Wade: Weed

Avengers Rule #43

Dying in each other’s arms is forbidden (looking at you Peter)

THE LAST ONE I SWEAR💀💀💀💀

Peter and Y/N get kidnapped by the winter soldier

Peter: Call the avengers!

Y/N: no

Peter: What do you mean no?!

Y/N: I mean no, you wanna hear it in Spanish!

Y/N: noh

I miss Tony Stark

That’s how I feel right now

this is so funny & pure

same energy (๑>◡<๑)

Bucky in Civil War: I wanna apologize to all of you for what I did. It was very wrong and I am very sorry. I just would like to move on and live a normal life. You know get a job and a wife.

nothing has gone right since tony stark died.

I can’t stop watching this video and I can’t explain why

From a British to American accent, this boy makes my heart melt. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I’d like to imagine after Elle killed that guy and left the BAU she went on to kick other rapists asses.

*case for the BAU comes in*

JJ: oh some ex FBI agent is killing rapists?

*slides file into trash*

JJ: whoops

every episode of criminal minds

lady: walking down dark alley slowly and alone (everything a woman would never do)

white guy in hoodie: hey

lady: AHH

white guy in hoodie: u look like my mom *stabs her* *takes her toes*

—

emily: and then i got drunk and slammed that bitch’s head into the bar counter

derek: haha thats great-

jj: its a bad one *hands out files*

emily: let me eat you out

(in the conference room)

jj: so yeah this guy stabs ladies. but now, he takes their toes

spencer: hes escalating

hotch: 😡😡😡 wheels up in 30

(zoom in on the plane)

jj: if when you do, but i cannot for the yes of he was what i no 💖 -lil huddy

(in the plane)

emily: sexual sadist

spencer: the history of toes is actually a long starting with the ancient indians they used to-

derek: dont make me put ur head through the plane window pretty boy. although i know you would love that

spencer: 😳😑

garcia on the phone: okay so i made a list of all the white guys in arizona.

derek: i want to taste ur guts

garcia: impale me with ur cock

hotch: thanks garcia 😡😡😡

—

detective alzhiemers: we spoke on the phone and i invited u here but i just want u to know i dont trust a single fucking thing you say. wow agent jareau u got that barbie doll build.

hotch: 😡 where can we set up

(at the crime scene)

rossi: 👁👄👁 he took their toes. but u can see the bone here.

(camera zooms in on derek)

derek: *takes off his sunglasses* *flexes* hes devolving

(at the m.e)

doctor dr. : so basically he kills them. u can see because theyre dead. he takes their toes but its sloppy.

emily: he must be doing it because he doesnt have any toes.

reid: *calling garcia* we need a list

(music escalates)

—

spencer: yeah so basically hes white and a sexual sadist

hotch: mid 30s, his mother didnt love him

emily: HES IMPOTENT because his girlfriend cut off his balls

derek: and he does not have toes. we gotta catch him fast. *picks up a call from garcia*

jj: i will be telling the press so we can get calls about men without toes.

garcia: hey my 12 inch bad dragon dick. i found him- Ben Serialkiller, 54 creep lane. born without toes, his mom kicked him out when he was 5.

derek: thanks babygirl. remind me to kiss ur feet tonight.

rossi: god am i old enough to die

detective alzheimers: actually i think youre completely wrong.

emily: we dont fucking care shut up limpdick

other cops: okay we believe you now

—

(in a dark basement)

spencer: Ben, i get it. u dont have to kill these women. *puts the gun down and takes off kevlar for no fucking reason* my mom tried to kill me too. but im not a serial killer.

white guy in hoodie: you dont get it.

rossi: you dont want to kill her. we can let the world know of your struggle, ben. we will teach them of a world with men without toes.

white guy in hoodie: okay i guess. *lets go of lady* *cries*

hotch: 😡😡😡 *cuffs him*

—

morgan, on the jet: u did good today, kid.

reid: thanks. i wonder what my life would be like if i didnt have 3 lifetimes of trauma on my 27 year old back.

morgan: hahaha

emily, joining in: hahahaha. loser

hotch: 😡😡😡 i wish i had emotions

jj: i miss my kids

emily: can we fuck yet

jj: fine i guess

(picture of the sky)

rossi: And in the end, if I eated soap, no I didnt because I yes ✨ -hitler

not me having massively unrealistic crushes on celebrities that will never even know i exist....

how come i can keep a poker face on when reading aggressive f-cking but i end up a gooey mess when there are cute nose boops and shy kisses and shit

Omg it’s BEAUTIFUL like seriously look at the hair, the shirt!!!!!!!!!!

I got so many kind words about my last drawing that it made me want to do another 🥺

Obviously I still have lots to learn but for my third try I think it’s okay!

I’m SOBBING oh god this is so good I can’t even describe

Always Have, Always Will (S.B)

A/N- hello! So this one wasn’t requested, but it’s something I have been wanting to write for a while now. It’s been very emotional writing this, so I hope it invokes some emotion in the readers too? please let me know if it does, or doesn’t. Feedback is very appreciated! 

(note: consenting legal age for any form on sexual activity in the UK is 16, all characters mentioned are of age.)

Flashbacks in italics.

Happy Reading!

You stood outside the Burrow, wearing a long black dress, your hair in a tight bun with a dark red lipstick on. Looking down at your attire, you made sure everything looked fine, you always valued appearance over many things. Taking a deep breath in, you knocked on the door. A familiar face opened the door, you wondered if she remembered you. 

“Nymphadora, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?” You smiled at her, as you saw the color of her hair change to red, clearly someone wasn’t happy to see you.

“It’s only friends and family today, you can come some other time.” She said, closing the door but before she could, you put your foot forward and stopped it from closing. You took a few steps and opened the door, inviting yourself in as you smiled at her, resulting in another glare. You cleared your throat as you stood inside the Burrow, 

“Is Remus around?” You inquired as you took your black leather gloves off. Obviously, you didn’t receive a response from her. You rolled your eyes and continued, “he’s the one who sent me a letter, so how about you direct your glares at him instead.”

Keep reading

*opens a fanfic on my computer*

me: this feels wrong….

*opens same story on my phone*

me: Better

i come back with memes

SPENCER REID EVERY FREAKING EPISODE (2005-2020)

Me: *purposefully clicks on a fic tagged multiple times as a soulmate au*

The soulmate au: and they were soulmates!

Me, gasping: oh my god they were soulmates

God this is so sweet I swear aaaa and Garcia in the end❤️

good morning ; spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid (criminal minds) x f!reader (garcia’s friend)

summary: sweet mornings with a sweet boy. 719 words

a/n: here’s an attempt at fluff while i write part 2 of “i want to love someone and be loved” :)

When you open your eyes and the first thing you see is a Doctor Spencer Reid conked out, you can’t help but brush a small piece of his hair behind his ear. He doesn’t move.

He looks so peaceful – no tension between his brows, no frown on his face. He’s having a restful sleep, for once, no nightmares in sight. If there is a God, you thank them. He needs it.

Your hand falls to the back of Spencer’s head, fingers twirling his hair. It’s gotten long enough that you can wrap a strand around several times. You keep bugging Spencer to let you give him French braids. He keeps refusing.

Time passes – you don’t know how long you spend like that, eyes dancing around Spencer’s calm face, soft breaths on your lips as you’re so close. You wish every morning was this, full of tranquillity instead of rushed kisses and “I’ll text you!”s because he’s been called in for a case suddenly.

He shuffles, a small groan coming from his throat, and Spencer’s awake. Just like you, he feels blessed to wake up to such a sight.

“Hi.” He rasps.

You smile giddily, “Hi.”

Spencer’s arms move to wrap around you and he tugs you close, close enough that you could tuck your head into his neck if you wanted, but you don’t. You want to look at him, take him all in, because he’s a vision you’ll never get bored of. Kind of like the night sky.

“Thank you.” You say suddenly.

He looks at you in confusion, “You’re welcome?”

You laugh at the odd look he gives you. You explain, “No, hear me out. Since before we started dating you’ve been so patient and understanding. Remember when you first asked me out? I told you your line of work doesn’t lend itself to love, and you told me you were willing to try if I was. And I was scared, and thought we’d try and you’d give up and we’d have to deal with that awkward aftermath, but you’ve proven every day since that love isn’t so difficult and isn’t as unattainable as I originally thought. I’ve never been happier to be proven wrong.”

Spencer’s got this look in his eye. You wish you knew what was going on his head, but the one thing you can tell is that he appreciates what you’re saying. He’s got a meek smile on his face, eyes gleaming as the sunlight streams in. His thumb glides back and forth on your back, grip tightening a little.

You’re not done.

“Your job is so tough, Spence, so much more than I could ever understand and I try to be there for you because you’ve always been there for me and I’m sure it isn’t enough but.. I’d do anything for you, and you know that, right? I love and care for you so much. Thank you for showing me the world isn’t full of cruel people.”

You let out a breath when you’re done, like you just finished a full sprint, and smile at Spencer’s awed expression. He still hasn’t said anything some minutes later.

“A lot to unload on you five minutes after you woke up, huh?” You joke. You glance at his lips.

He giggles, pulling you so you’re completely flush against him. He rubs his nose against yours, again and again, his grin so wide all you can see is perfect teeth.

He pecks your lips, still smiling.

“You deserve nothing less,” He starts, voice less rough than when he first woke up, “And as long as I’m able to, I’m gonna do everything in my power to do that. Every day for the rest of our lives.”

There’s nothing but love and warmth in the very minuscule space between you.

It’s there and then Spencer decides he’s going to marry you. He’ll text Garcia when you’re distracted, make her swear on her life to not let this spill, and invite her to help him choose a ring. Maybe Derek can tag along if he promises to behave.

Garcia wakes up, across town, with an extraordinary amount of happiness in her body. She can tell something is happening – her love senses are tingling. When Spencer texts her some hours later, she breaks her favourite mug in excitement.

Them: Ok yeah, Criminal Minds is good and all but that tech girl Garcia?? Shes SO annoying like omfg can she just s t o p

Me:

s7e13