Latest Posts by youdelight-itolerate - Page 6

Could I leave my flowery Hannibal Lecter without a similarly flowery Will Graham? Of course not!

  I hope you like it 💙

Prints and other stuff on my RedBubble and Threadless (I’m Wisesnail on both <:  )

i fucking love kermits nephew. like look at him

peak character design. he’s just a little baby

[plays the addams family theme]

does anyone here know how to consume a peice of media without it consuming your entire existence? asking for a friend.

btw if u don’t wanna be a girl u can just not be a girl. if u don’t wanna be a boy u can just not be a boy. likewise for being a woman or a man or any gender that has ever existed.

there’s no test you need to pass or license u need to hold to trans your gender - you can just decide one day that u feel like doing something different. if ur waiting for permission, i’m giving u permission. go be happy.

Yesterday I didn’t even know what SMAU meant and now it’s 3am and I’m sobbing over a multimedia masterpiece Blackbonnet fic set in the 80s

Your love is my turning page

Where only the sweetest words remain

Every kiss is a cursive line

Every touch is a redefining phrase

Not parasocial love nor parasocial hate but a secret third thing where I respect the celebrity for their talents and achievements while acknowledging that I do not have a personal relationship with them and that they are a human with flaws

We’re communicating so much better now, no?

We’re communicating so much better now, no?

Everything is new And everything is you

And all I've learned has overturned What can I do?

Look, I love Stede Bonnet but so many fanfics and aus make him way too nice. Like sure he reads the crew bedtime stories but also when he heard the Swede’s teeth were falling out he was like “idk thoughts and prayers I guess, I’m going on a date.” He made Lucius wear an all white outfit to the Republic of Pirates and got mad at him when it got dirty. He insulted Roach’s cake!

Stede isn’t nice! He’s insane! He almost faints when his crew is getting ready for a raid but then when Blackbeard’s crew does a raid he’s like “oooh Lucius note the gusto” as Lucius nearly throws up next to him. He willingly picks severed noses up off of the ground but wants to know if the army has less scratchy blankets. Twice he finds out someone was going to murder him and both times that makes his relationship with them better.

He’s insane! He’s a huge bitch! I love him!

it's probably not a generalization to say that we all want to be forgiven. there's something that all of us has done in our lives that we ache for forgiveness for, that we regret, that wakes us in the middle of the night as we think, god if i could just do that again, i'd make better choices this time -

i know this place. i think most of us know this place. so i *understand* why stede ran, when he got all his traumas hit, and he felt like a fraud and a failure, and monster, i get it.

but my god does it also make me want to wring his little neck. it's the way that self-hatred makes you *selfish*. the way it makes you render others petty and small in your mind. the way it lets you discount them, dismiss them, disown them.

because when stede makes the choice (and let's be clear, he very much did make a choice, he *decided* to go back to Barbados and his wife and his family) to leave ed waiting for him on that dock, he does it entirely consumed with himself, and his fears, his doubts, his trauma, his utter self-hatred, and it makes him selfish, because that's what self-hatred does. it makes people selfish and in a way, even arrogant. stede doesn't think about what ed told him, what ed shared, how ed feels - that ed is glad to be figuring himself out, that ed is happy with stede, that ed doesn't want to be blackbeard.

what stede thinks is "i ruined him". he dismisses ed's ability to know himself, to think for himself, to make decisions for himself. because stede is so consumed with his own self-hatred, his own conviction that he ruins everything that he completely runs roughshod over other people's feelings in the process of living in that hatred. he decides that he knows better than ed how ed feels. he decides that he knows better than ed what ed needs.

after all, stede hates himself, stede is useless, stede is pathetic, so ed can't really MEAN any of that, right? ed must be humoring him, or he must be tricked, or something. he can't possibly impact the people around him. they won't hurt in his absence. ed won't be hurt for being abandoned, the crew won't be sad for being ditched with izzy. he's just stede.

and in the meanwhile, there's that family, the family stede abandoned but thought would somehow exist in a stasis, in a pause, available for him to come back to - it's clear he thought mary, alma, and louis would still be as he remembered them, that it was like, in his mind, he could put a pause on the relationship and come back if needed to, without change, without growth, without *anger*...

and now that he's learned his lesson about that, i'm really, really hoping that the stede we see in season 2, the stede who's grown and seen how he impacts the people around him, is a stede prepared for how absolutely fucking pissed the love of his life is about to be.

yet another thing that ofmd does so well is how awkward and nervous all the dialogue is during all the romantic confession scenes we get from our three canon relationships. like it's so fucking relatable. watching those scenes makes me think of the (admittedly very few) times in my life when i have made these kinds of halting, nervous confessions. i can feel how the adrenaline is making their hearts pound and their hands sweat and their faces flush with heat. trying to sound casual while there's a heavy lump the size of a dodgeball trying to claw its way from your chest to your mouth.

Black Pete starts off stammering, "So... uh, listen." He veers too close to genuine, revealing too much when he says, "I-I thought I was gonna... lose you," and when Lucius responds jokingly, he tries to backtrack a bit, play it cool. "Exactly! And uh, and... uh—death, yknow..." He shrugs, tries for nonchalance and doesn't quite make it. "I'm used to death. But, um..." And Pete's barely been able to hold Lucius's gaze this whole time, his eyes constantly flickering somewhere to Lucius's left, but here he closes them, steels himself. "But not, um..." A beat. When he says, "your death," he opens his eyes again, looks right at Lucius, and the surprised little smile on Lucius's face is almost too much.

Olu's been listening to Jim's tragic backstory, hurting for them and understanding them on a deeper level than he ever has before. When Jim says that their nana is their only family, Olu's face goes on a journey, here: his eyebrows furrow in concern, then twitch upwards as he thinks about how lonely that must be. He hunches in on himself, shoulders to his ears and hands in his pockets, and he rocks himself to the side as he gathers his nerves. "Well, look..." he begins, moving half a step closer, "if you wanted–" his eyes land on Jim's for only a moment, then he's looking above them, around them. "I could be family," he says, shrugging and spreading his hands, like he's showing Jim what he has to offer: himself, just himself, and his desire to be someone Jim can lean on. "I just..." There's no ending to that sentence, he didn't know where he was going when he started it, so he trails off as Jim glances away, then looks at him from under the rim of their hat, considering.

(And Jim is so lucky—but also, it's what they deserve—that they get not one, but two confessions from Olu. When they come back, when they ask him why he gave their room away, Olu's demeanor goes from "happy to see his friend alive and well" to "nervous boy asking their crush to prom" in an instant. "I, um..." His hands bounce at his sides, his eyes flicker all over the room. When he finally meets Jim's gaze, his hands are still moving nervously. "I-I missed you.")

And Ed. Ed. He enters the scene by walking over and sitting so close to Stede, close enough that they could be touching. He sits in Stede's space like he belongs there (and he does; Stede doesn't move away, doesn't react like Ed's proximity is unexpected or unwanted). He looks at Stede and smiles at him as he offers reassurances, but once he looks away he doesn't look back for several minutes. As he dismisses Stede's self-deprecation and answers Stede's questions he alternates between fiddling with the sand in front of him and gazing out at the sea. There's nervousness there, things going unsaid that have been ready to jump from Ed's tongue at any moment. And Stede gives him that moment when he asks what makes Ed happy.

But despite how desperate Ed is to tell him, there's still hesitation. He meanders his way towards giving Stede his answer, starting with, "These past... few weeks?" as if this isn't something he's given much thought to. "Have been... th'most fun I've had in ages. Years." His voice is soft, his face scrunching casually as he speaks. He still doesn't look at Stede, because the nerves climbing up his throat right now would choke him into silence if he did. So he stares at some fixed point in the distance, maybe a specific rock or blade of grass, as he says, "Maybe ever," with a surprised twist in his expression.

And as he moves into the next part, into the important part, those nerves in his throat climb higher. "So," he says, firmly, but that's the last thing he manages to say with any force. As his nerves go higher, so does his voice, but the volume becomes softer.

"So–uh... I reckon. What makes Ed happy..."

He feels Stede's eyes on his face, and that nervous fidgeting is gone, replaced instead by a stillness that his heart doesn't emulate.

"Is..."

Ed's been run through many times. He's been held at gunpoint, had rope tied around his neck, been stranded for days without food. He's watched the life drain from his father's body as a result of his own violence.

But for some reason, this is possibly the most nervous Ed has ever felt, the hardest his heart has ever pounded. The only moment that competes is when he watched four men in red coats point their rifles at Stede's trembling body.

"You."

OUGHUHUFHUGHUGH..... i know EXACTLY how they feel and it makes all these scenes hit so much harder. and SO MUCH OF IT is how fucking good the acting. if you just read these lines as flat dialogue, taking out all those pauses and stammers that the characters are trying to hard to hide, so much of the flavor is lost:

"Death, y'know, I'm used to death. But not your death"

"Well, look: if you wanted, I could be family."

"These past few months have been the most fun I've had in ages, weeks, maybe ever. So, I reckon what makes Ed happy is you."

like these are cute lines, but they're also awkward ways to stumble around just outright saying "I Care About You" and it's so real and incredibly relatable. i know EXACTLY how it feels to nervously try and tell someone you like like them and ofmd does it so so well

(bonus tag game: if u reblog this and ur comfortable w it, PLEASE tell me about an awkward confession you have given or received, i love shit like this. i will, of course, add my own story in the tags of the original post)

Never knew where was home I slept a lifetime alone Yeah, we had it one time but it’s gone now, it’s gone Let me drown I know with pleasure comes pain I figured we were the same But as I get older I get more afraid Let me drown

ORVILLE PECK, “LET ME DROWN”

I'm not sure if fans of the show without ADHD understand this, but when Ed says he's bored he's not normal person bored.

Neurotypical people, or so I'm told, experience boredom as a temporary state. They can resolve it with a wide variety of activities. For those of us with ADHD, though, boredom feels like a life sentence. Firstly, we can't resolve it with just anything. Our brain wants ONE EXACT THING and won't accept anything else but also won't tell us what the one thing is. We can try dozens of things and still feel bored, even days later, if we can't find the right one.

Second, we have time blindness! If a neurotypical person is bored for an hour, they probably think it's a really long, unpleasant hour. Us ADHDers feel that hour as an eternity. It's torture for an unknown amount of time that feels like forever. It SUCKS.

Third, and maybe most importantly for Ed, neurotypical people don't understand what ADHD boredom is like. My mom still thinks I'm fucking with her when I say I prefer physical pain to boredom. I prefer ANYTHING to boredom. I think Ed exists in much the same space, and there is NO WAY Izzy understands. Izzy would have been confused, maybe even angry at Ed for trying a million different hobbies and raid plans and fuckeries to find the one thing that his ADHD brain needs to cure the boredom. Izzy probably rolled his eyes and scoffed.

For Ed, boredom isn't a minor inconvenience. It isn't a bad day. It's an endless torture. No wonder he'd do anything for the most interesting man he's ever met. No wonder he's broken when that boredom is forced back onto him.

And what they hear isn’t laughter after all It’s just your voice learning for once to stand up tall

Ed’s outfits throughout season one

Stede’s version (x)

the way ofmd deals with masculinity is so fascinating. we have stede, who’s about the least masculine a character could possibly be in the traditional sense: he gets sad instead of angry, he refuses to engage in physical violence, he encourages talking about feelings, he likes fashion and interior design and romanticizes everything. he likes picking flowers. and he has been told for his whole life that he is worthless because of all of this. he has been bullied and taunted and abused for it, but that didn’t keep him from adding a secret closet to his ship (lmao) to keep his excess fineries. he is still outwardly himself.

then we have ed. ed who is the pinnacle of the idea of masculinity, part of why he was remembered as history’s greatest pirate in the first place. he’s violent, ruthless, quick to anger, hierarchical, and his name, blackbeard, even emphasizes a symbol of masculinity. he’s revered for his masculinity. his performance is so powerful that people surrender before he even shows up in person. but it’s not him. blackbeard is a character ed has played for as long as he could remember that served to protect him from harm. you can't get hurt if you're never vulnerable in the first place.

when he meets stede, he finds someone he doesn’t have to present as blackbeard for. he can indulge in the frilly colorful clothes, the dancing, the emotional honesty that stede treats as normal. ed lets stede hold his heart in his hands and stede calls it beautiful. and stede, for the first time, has met someone who doesn’t see those things as hateful or embarrassing. everything stede has been mocked for unequivocally delights ed. in the reverse, stede sees blackbeard as the man stede never was. the ideal of a pirate that he read about and romanticized before he became one himself. to stede, blackbeard is everything he could never bring himself to be.

when ed begins to outwardly become interested in stede’s way of life, izzy serves to try to force him back into that hypermasculine presentation of Blackbeard. izzy hates stede for all the same reasons stede has been hated his whole life, and he sees stede as poisoning edward with his embarrassing foppish behavior, emasculating him. this comes to a head when ed signs the act of grace, shaves his beard (the symbol of his performance of masculinity), and kisses stede. all of those go against traditional masculine norms and by extent, the idea of Blackbeard. but ed isn’t performing anymore. he smiles more after the kiss than he ever does in the rest of the show.

then, stede is held at gunpoint by chauncey, who calls stede a monster, a plague for ruining the greatest pirate in history. ruining through emasculation, which in countless other media has been presented as horrific. think about other media that puts masculine characters in prison or the army (the similarities are staggering)—the threat of beating the character down until they’re submissive and emasculated is ever-present. losing the appearance of masculinity is by and large seen as one of the worst things that could possibly happen, and is often paired thematically with the loss of autonomy.

so stede agrees. he’s horrified with himself. he himself was already not traditionally masculine, and he spread it to blackbeard like a disease. everything he (and, interestingly, the viewer) has ever been told is that ed’s shift throughout the show is something to be terrified of. ed shaving his beard, in stede’s mind, confirmed his worst fear: stede had made ed into everything stede hated about himself and wanted to change; he killed blackbeard. but what he and chauncey and izzy can’t see is that stede actually gave ed more autonomy, more freedom and comfort to be himself and do what makes ed happy.

so stede runs. he runs back to where he once performed masculinity as a father and husband (regaining his own beard, so to speak), now sure that blackbeard would have been better off not knowing him. on some level, stede does want parts of blackbeard’s edge to stay (he’s like izzy in that way) and is scared he’s somehow excised it permanently. ed doesn’t want to leave it all behind either, but he’s terrified that stede could never accept the side of him that still exists as blackbeard. i also think this is why ed didn't try to kiss stede until he was the least like blackbeard he could be; he saw it as being less likely to get rejected for the ugliness he saw in himself.

it's interesting that ed doesn't go back to being blackbeard immediately after stede abandons him. at first, he goes all-in on the emotional vulnerability, trying to hang on to the hope he had allowed himself to experience when stede had agreed to run away with him. hanging on by a thread. the thread snaps when izzy mocks him for pining after stede, for lacking the masculinity izzy required in order to maintain his respect. in quick succession ed was rejected by stede, whom he loved, and izzy, whose respect he'd had since before the show began. so he threw his walls back up. he painted his mask back on, closed himself off, and removed every reminder of when he had allowed himself to be vulnerable.

ed's return to masculinity is not presented as a good thing. it's a trauma response, a defense mechanism, and it's toxic. the show experiments with defining a line between toxic and non-toxic masculinity; izzy, calico jack, the kraken, stede's father, the admiral twins, they all represent the ways toxic masculinity enforces a culture of violence and punishes any emotion except anger. stede and his crew represent a healthier version of masculinity: emotional honesty, encouragement and care for others, kindness, and love. it's not an accident that as ed allows himself to love and be loved, he begins to leave behind the toxic aspects of masculinity he had before. i've used the word emasculated to refer to ed's transformation throughout the show, but in truth that's not entirely accurate. it lines up with how many people would view what happened to him, but in reality he did remain a man, he just became a healthier one.

Season 2 this, Season 2 that, I just want fucking bloopers. I wanna see how many times they had to film Taika Waititi beating that fake snake up. I need to know how many people on set couldn’t keep it together when Rhys Darby first chanted “man for sale” and “someone buy my booty”. How many other versions of the improvised forest-lunch conversation exist. 

I have to know.

Hannibal 3x06 - “Dolce”

#the way they invented love

You know after thinking about it I think my main problem with Izzy stans once you get past the obvious one, which is the way that they are racist to Ed, (Clearly my main problem but not the problem I’m here to talk about) is that they don’t even like Izzy. They like Ed, and they like Black Pete, and they like Calico Jack, but they can’t admit that they like those characters for some reason? (you know why they can’t admit that they like Ed and Black Pete)

Like the ways Ed’s back story gets cannibalized for Izzy in a lot of fics and the way people will swap Izzy and Ed’s personalities is well trod territory. Ed is treated as enjoying violence and having a toxic masculinity problem and Izzy is treated like someone who’s trying desperately to make his working relationship with Ed beneficial when in the show those rolls are switched. You’ve heard this meta before. I just made a whole post about the way that Jack’s roll in Ed’s backstory (i.e. like 90% of the reason he exists as a character) gets ignored in favor of giving that roll to Izzy. And don’t even get me started on Black Pete. Both Izzy and Black Pete struggle with toxic masculinity, are obsessed with Blackbeard, and desperately wants to be in a leadership roll and aren’t very good at it. But so far at least Black Pete is the one undergoing the redemption arc and getting better, and Izzy is the one getting worse. I see people wanting a relationship with Lucius to redeem him and I’m like girl you have that. That’s Black Pete. Like Black Pete chose to get better and he’s still working on it but when he realized that Blackbeard wasn’t who he thought he was he minded his business and he went from complaining about sewing being womens work and worrying about what Blackbeard’s crew would do in episode one to learning through his relationship with Lucius to be sweet and vulnerable. And while Izzy in canon is attracted to Lucius i guarantee you that Lucius will not be playing that roll in his narrative, because it’s the roll he plays for Black Pete. That’s not to say that Lucius fixed him, but they will give Lupete’s dynamic to Izzy for no fucking reason.

So I’m gonna do something I don’t usually do and that’s defend Izzy here. If you’re gonna like Izzy there are tons of things about him that you can like. His psychosexual obsession with Blackbeard and his and Ed’s weird codependency is juicy enough to drive the plot at times. He’s a little freak to the point where he got his toe cut off and he liked it. He’s stubborn. He’s driven. He’s manipulative. He’s plotting and conniving. He sees other people as caricatures of themselves and DOES NOT react well at all to people falling outside of the box he’s made for them. He’s angry all the time. He can’t identify love. He’s jealous of Stede in the way that a child is jealous of their friends’ friends. All of these are wonderful traits in a blorbo (and terrible traits in a person, but a blorbo is not a real boy) They make him interesting and they give him layers. It’s very fun to theorize what happened to him to make him this way. There are many reasons to like Izzy Hands. But it’s kind of annoying when other characters’ cool stuff is ascribed to Izzy and those characters are ignored and maligned in favor of Izzy, especially when those characters are the brown romantic lead and the bald kinda frumpy guy with a lisp, who in 99% of media doesn’t get to be seen as hot but in this media gets to be desired. And it makes me feel bad for your Izzy that you cant like him for him.

daily schedule

1 hour: do work

23 hours: cry about gay pirates

please send help. i haven’t slept in weeks and my family is starving

But you’re Blackbeard. You can’t be Blackbeard without your black beard.

cannot stress enough how much i love the way our flag means death portrays blackbeard in the finale. there is no mistaking that everything he’s doing is a facade. he doesn’t want this. he wanted to be loved. he wanted to be happy. but he’s come to the conclusion that that life just isn’t for him. he’s only ever been a monster, it’s the easy way out. but the final shot of blackbeard isn’t him sailing confidently to his next adventure. it’s him breaking down on stede’s bed, crying so hard that the makeup he’s using to mask himself is running down his face. he is broken. we all know that, and they’re not trying to tell us anything different.

Animal Crossing: A selection of Stede and Ed’s Looks™️🔥

image id in reblog

the older i get, the more i need time & personal space to be as boring as possible

Ed / Stede + parallels [1/?] | [1.09] + [1.10]

In a way, as painful as it is, it’s great seeing who the legendary Blackbeard really is (Not Ed, not just Blackbeard, the Legendary Blackbeard)

From the beginning of the show they tell us about this terrifying, monstrous pirate, Blackbeard. Then we meet him and see he’s just a dork who is bored and really likes Stede’s lifestyle. Our thoughts are just, “Oh, he must be just a dork with a bad reputation”

And when Izzy or Calico Jack say things like “You’ve changed” or “The Blackbeard I knew would have killed them in a heartbeat”, and our reaction is like Stede’s. “That is absurd” “Maybe these people don’t know Ed” “Our Ed, doing that, being a monster, let me laugh”

So when Ed then throws Lucius off-board with a cold, disturbing expression and cuts Izzy’s finger off and makes him eat it we are shocked.

We didn’t think Blackbeard was this. Izzy and Calico tried to warn us, their characters told us, but we didn’t listen. Because we are so in love with Ed as Stede is, and we know Ed, but we didn’t know Blackbeard

you HURT izzy? you make him suffer and cry? oh! oh! kudos for author! kudos for author for One Thousand Years !!!!!!