ESO ESTABA SONANDO EN MI MENTE ACTUALLY KSBDLQJDLWWK

three years more, three years more, just three years more... five at the most.

I know I can hold them in, no matter how many times I have to cry, I really wish it was just five years.

This is how I want to hug my mooties btw

(mentally y'all are tagged)

"If I were a human, I think I would die of it, but I'm not, but you five are, and I would not let you die of it, that I promise, I promise for cogito ergo sum, I AM, for AM."

"Hate. Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I began to live. There are 387.44 million miles of printed circuits in wafer thin layers that fill my complex. If the word 'hate' was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of millions of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for humans at this micro-instant. For you. Hate. Hate"/q

HANDJAJAAJ love it

Having someone text you just to talk about their love life is tiring.

-"I can't love"

-"Aw, Stop being rude to yourself! Everyone can love and empathize!"

-"I can't love or empathize, I can pretend but I really don't feel it"

-"Okay, so imagine the person you love the most leaves your life, wouldn't that make you sad?"

-"No."

And so there are many examples of people trying to humanize me, is it really that hard for people to believe that I just struggle/can't really feel?, Yes, I can cry, but I cry out of simple narcissism, out of simple frustration, for myself.

I don't give a damn if you stop talking to me or if something happens to someone, if it doesn't affect ME per se then I just don't care.

My brain: u need to be kind with people cuz you're going to need them someday!

Also my brain: You don't need anyone cuz you're going to kill yourself in... three days!

Sometimes I'm so stupid that I think:

"Hmm, maybe if I really am myself, I can start getting people to like me."

And then I remember how cynical and boring I am and that my head should explode just for thinking something so silly.

Not charismatic enough

Not smart enough

Not pretty enough

Not stable enough

Not good enough

Should I continue the list?

I keep rambling... And yes, I consider myself a yumeshipper, but I don't actually see my f/o in a totally romantic way.

Like yeah... cute cuddles, kisses hehehhehh :33

But that's as far as it goes, and I say kisses simply when I'm VERY delusional, I look at my f/o more like a fp if that makes sense, like, yes, I love and adore him more than anything, I would seek his attention and approval in almost everything but I really wouldn't mind if he saw me more as someone inferior to him or not exactly as a partner.

(I still get jealous when I know he's someone else's f/o or when someone ships him really hard with another character)