12th Doctor X Reader - Blog Posts

Speaking Up For Your Needs

Capaldi!Doctor x Reader

Summary - The Reader is having a bad day where they are feeling incredibly touch starved, but then The Doctor decides to teach The Reader how to fly The TARDIS.

Based On This Request -

Warnings - Themes of depression and loneliness

Word Count - 1510

A/n - Gender Neutral Reader. I had a second idea from this request. So, I just wanted to post it because I thought it was cute!

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Your body hurt and your skin felt like it was burning. You desperately wanted to reach out and hold someone’s hand, hug them, and rest against their shoulder after a tough day, but you could never bring yourself to ask for that kind of comfort. This happened a lot in your life; you remember feeling this way since you were a child. Whenever you had gone months without touch you would become like this. Just a mix of want and anxiety.

Your parents had instilled a toxic ideology in you from a young age: overly touchy people are annoying, and you mustn’t trouble people with physical affection. Even when you grew up and left your parent’s home, you never braved showing physical affection to your friends or partners. You were too scared of scaring them away because of everything your parents had told you. But it seemed that the more reserved you stayed in those relationships, the more they pulled away from you. And after a while, you would end up alone again.

You began travelling with The Doctor almost a year ago. He had asked you to travel with him after months of the two of you accidentally meeting in random places. The Doctor had said at the time that the main reason as to why he asked you to travel with him was because he could sense that you were lonely. You didn’t understand what he meant by that until now. You were in so much denial about how lonely and touch-starved you were. Now, though, you understood. You wanted to reach out to The Doctor about your needs, but you didn’t know how. 

You had seen how The Doctor interacted on adventures after saving people. Some would offer him handshakes and pats on the back and hugs, and he would either skirt away from them or his body would tense uncomfortably. You never wanted to make him feel that way. But he offered you so much emotional, financial, and just general support in so many ways, yet all you needed right now was a hug. Because of all the help he offered you in other ways, would The Doctor actually be willing to show you physical affection?

Today was a quiet day in the TARDIS. That almost made what you were feeling worse. On loud days, you could ignore your needs and just focus on the adventure and helping people that were in trouble.

“Now, given that you have been in the TARDIS for a while…” The Doctor announced as soon as he entered The TARDIS console with a couple of books in his arms. He had asked you to meet him there once you were ready for the day.

“I think that you should learn how to fly her.”

“What?!” You jumped up from your seat in shock.

“I’m not ready for that, Doctor!”

“Of course you are. Aren’t they, old girl?” The Doctor patted the console of the ship after setting the books down. The TARDIS then beeped reassuringly in agreement with The Doctor’s comment.

“I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt her or get the two of us into some sort of trouble.”

“Don’t worry. I will be here to guide you and The TARDIS will put extra protections on everything so we don’t punch a hole in the fabric of reality.”

“Can that happen?” You asked frantically as a new wave of panic rushed through you.

“No! Just joking around with you.” You nodded and breathed a sigh of relief, but then when you looked at The Doctor again, he was grinning like a maniac.

“Are you lying?”

“Of course!”

“Doctor!”

“Just come on, come on, come on! You’re ready and you know it!” The Doctor made a rapid circular hand movement in the air before he pulled you toward The TARDIS console. You ended up slumping beside him as he began to describe the functions of his ship.

The Doctor first explained every button and lever and random alien spinning device before you. He was being incredibly considerate in helping you understand something so incredibly inhuman, which surprised you. The Doctor, especially in this regeneration, didn’t have the most patient attitude.

You did well in remembering all of the parts of the console, but actually flying the time and space machine proved to be very difficult for you. Again, though, The Doctor was very encouraging, but nothing you tried led you to successfully flying The TARDIS.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” You ended up whining after another failed try at piloting the alien ship.

“Yes, you can! You just got to give it some welly!” 

The Doctor, almost out of nowhere, moved behind you and placed his hands on the console on either side of you. You instantly froze. The Doctor was still talking, encouraging you about your abilities and reminding you of some of the buttons and levers. You could barely concentrate, though. You could feel the heat of The Doctor’s body radiating off of him and into your back. He was so close to holding you that you almost couldn’t believe that this was really happening. Eventually, you had to take a deep breath in order to contain yourself from developing into a full daydream.

The Doctor stayed behind you and muttered encouraging statements as you attempted to pilot his ship again. It was difficult, of course, but you felt different this time. For some reason, with The Doctor so close to you and his words in your ear, you finally managed to fly The TARDIS.

“I did it!” You exclaimed excitedly.

“Of course you did! I knew that you could.”

You sighed and tried to release some of the tension that had built up in your body since The Doctor surrounded you with his body. You could hear that The Doctor was continuing to congratulate you, but you didn’t know how to respond to his comments, so you just hid your head and nodded. 

Tentatively, The Doctor placed his hands on your upper arms and sighed heavily in thought before speaking. You froze again upon feeling The Doctor’s boney yet firm hands on your body. You didn’t know what to think of everything that occurred that morning. But eventually, The Doctor spoke and did his best to relieve any anxiety that you might have.

“I know that you're lonely. I told you so when I first invited you to travel with me …” The Doctor paused before continuing.

“I’m lonely, too, sometimes. But I have been a lot less lonely since beginning to travel with you.” The Doctor paused again. You felt your eyes begin to water, but you refused to let yourself cry.

“Our situations are very different, but you don't have to completely close yourself off to me. I want to be here for you, however you need me.” 

You fell back into The Doctor’s chest, and he instantly wrapped his arms around your torso and rested his head against yours. It felt so nice to be held again like everything was right in the Universe. Your skin felt cool, and your body relaxed, the opposite of how your felt earlier. You now had to intensely fight to hold back tears as you felt your body finally fully relax within the strong arms of The Doctor.

“Every person has boundaries. It would be unsafe if you were to not have them. But please don’t think that you are upsetting me by speaking up about your needs. Okay?” You nodded into The Doctor’s shoulder and uttered a content ‘I understand’ which was muffled by The Doctor’s coat. Sometime during your time being held by The Doctor, you had turned in his arms. You didn’t remember doing this until much later, but you were surprised, despite what he stated, that he stayed like this with you. 

The Doctor ended up swaying back and forth for a bit with you in his arms, but as The Doctor usually does, he got bored very quickly. 

“You know … There is a planet where instead of handshakes, it’s mannerly for the people to introduce themselves with long hugs. Also, they have multiple interactive cuddle amusement parks and resorts. If you would like to go there with me?”

“You’re getting bored just standing around, aren’t you?” You joke into The Doctor’s jacket.

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise. I’d love to go to that planet with you, Doctor. But will you cuddle me while we read together sometimes?” You asked as you slightly pulled away from the Time Lord. The Doctor still kept his arms around you tightly, not allowing you to move too far away from his chest.

“I’ll do it all the time, Y/n. But let’s go to that cuddle planet!” The Doctor kissed your forehead before taking one of your hands and spinning you around a couple of times. He then jumped around the console in order to pilot the two of you to the cuddle planet, where you spent the rest of the day together.

Touch Starved

Capaldi!Doctor x Reader

Summary - The Doctor has noticed your behaviour change over your time in his TARDIS and is determined to do something about it.

Based On This Request -

Warnings - Themes of depression and loneliness, not great parents

Word Count - 1292

A/n - Gender Neutral Reader. This was requested and posted on my old Tumblr account and I just wanted to post it on here. I hope that you enjoy it!

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You were a very affectionate person. You knew this from a very young age as you would love to hug your friends and want to hold their hands constantly. Your parents, however, instilled in you the harshness of society and how many people don’t like random and public displays of affection or how some people can use your naturally affectionate against you. So, they quickly moulded your behaviour after childhood and taught you to restrain yourself. They said that affection was cute when presented in children, but annoying and awkward when seen in adults.

After you grew up and went into higher education, your parents expected you to follow their influence. So, you grew colder and more isolated with age until you barely showed your friends physical affection at all.

When you first met The Doctor, you saw this opportunity to shed the influence of your parents and to return to your warm and bubbly self, but you hadn’t tried to hug either him or Clara, yet. You grew insecure when you heard The Doctor’s protests to Clara’s hugs. He would always give in, though, but you could see that he was still a bit uncomfortable with the act. You understood that Clara was The Doctor’s companion longer than you, though it still hurt your heart every time you would see the two of them hug or hold hands.  

You wanted affection so badly your body physically hurt. You didn’t know who to tell, though. So, you internalized your past and your current wants. You began staying in more, staying in your room in The TARDIS and usually sleeping. You were conflicted with yourself. You knew what you wanted, but the voices of your parents continued to echo throughout your head. So, you stayed in and secluded yourself so as to not be tempted into giving into your more affectionate personality.

After much convincing from both Clara and The Doctor (both of them knocking on your bedroom door constantly to see if you were okay), the three of you went on an adventure together. The Doctor decided to take the pair of you to a planetary market. They both explained that they had both been there before, The Doctor many times so, but the two of them figured that you would appreciate the aesthetics of the planet, as well. You have described to both of them many times that you always loved fairs and festivals and markets as they always gave you an opportunity to meet and interact with many individuals. Even if you avoided physical touch, you loved spending time with new people.

As soon as you arrived on the planet, your spirits instantly rose. You would go from booth to booth, talking to all of the individuals from various planets and people, just happy to interact with all of them. 

You then went to one booth, excited by what they were selling, but you were unable to understand the seller. The Doctor came up from behind you and unexpectedly placed one of his slim hands on the small of your back. You tried to concentrate on what he was saying and his conversation with the seller, but your mind continued to drift to the weight of The Doctor’s hand on your back. 

Clara motioned for the two of you to join her at another booth down the main market pathway. It was clad in different accessories such as jewellery and scarves and hats. The Doctor’s hand moved up your back to between your shoulder blades as he pushed you toward the booth. Once there, he dramatically picked up various accoutrements and moved you around like a model to see which was the best looking on you. Clara giggled, then added to The Doctor’s madness by wrapping a thickly-knit purple scarf, with stars and moons embroidered into the fabric, dramatically around your neck. The pair of them stepped back and smiled broadly. 

Clara removed a strange hat from your head and The Doctor removed the scarf while you struggled to get a complicated bracelet off of your wrist. You tried to ask them multiple times what they were doing, but they always responded with a jolly “isn’t it obvious?” You had finally removed the bracelet when you saw The Doctor holding a bag out to you.

“What’s this?”

“The scarf. You looked good in it and I thought that you would want a souvenir.” He smiled and shoved the bag into your shocked hands before quickly taking your arm in his and walking after Clara who had gone to find some edible food for you and her’s Human palate.

The day continued just the same. Clara and The Doctor trying to make you happy by showing you the wonders of the Universe and the amazing celebrations of this planet. All of you ate strange foods (as long as they were safe) and you got a few more souvenirs. All the while, The Doctor always had a hand on your back or his arm hooked around yours. You couldn’t understand the change in attitude and what was happening and why The Doctor was acting so differently. The three of you even took a couple of photos in front of a monument with your arms all wrapped around each other. The Doctor, rarely, if ever, acted like this, but you were enjoying it.

You were starting to worry, though, that this was just The Doctor’s way of giving you one last great adventure before sending you back to Earth. This plagued your mind even though you tried to enjoy the rest of the day and create lifelong memories of your time with your friends. But your inner fears were continuing to rage in a confusing rubble in your brain when the three of you returned to The TARDIS and The Doctor said to prepare for a much more running-filled adventure tomorrow.

“Both of us?” You stayed behind after Clara said her goodnights and went to her room in order to ask some of your questions. 

“Not just you and Clara?”

“Why wouldn’t you be there, Y/n? Are you not feeling okay?” You shook your head in confusion.

“I just thought that you were taking me home. This adventure was so fun and happy, I had figured that it would be my last one.”

“Do you want to go home?” You practically screamed a frantic “no!” back to The Doctor, probably a bit too quickly.

“Then why would I make you do so?”

“I don't really know. I was just worried that I might have made you and Clara uncomfortable because of how much I love showing affection to the people I care about.” You were looking down at your shoes until you felt The Doctor’s hands come to firmly hold your shoulders. You looked up at him, but you were still too afraid to look him in the eye.

“Y/n, I promise you that you have not made either of us uncomfortable. We know that you care about us, and our boundaries and we really appreciate that. I do especially. I’m not that big of a hugger, but I will always love a hug from you. Whenever you need one, just ask.” The Doctor smiled bittersweetly, he could see that you were on the verge of tears, and he just wanted to make you happy. He slowly opened his arms for you, and you fell into his chest. The Doctor ran a hand over your back, rubbing relaxing circles into your muscles, while his other arm was wrapped around your neck, gently curling you into his torso. The two of you stayed like this for a while, you couldn’t tell how long, just simply enjoying the relaxing peace of the gesture.