Recently, on June 5th, I turned 40. This is an age I don’t mind, and quite excited about. I thought my 30s was quite exceptional. It made me feel whole and alive that decade. It healed me from my 20’s where I was quite broken and lost. So at age 40 and on, I hope to find more of myself.
Now I know I haven’t updated my tumblr in more than ages, but I’m more of a creeper than a writer that cuts out different letters from magazines and sends it to the lead investigator kind of gal, but I’ve been busy.
I’m married now and have a frickin 4 year old boy! I’m a boy mom! I just want to sit on a bench under the tree for some damn shade!
So, back to my age. When I was 29, I thought I couldn’t possibly make it to 30. I thought I’d cease to exist. I didn’t actually think I’d die or anything, just that some celestial being would just pluck me from existence. So when I hit 30, that morning I felt strange, I was ready for something to happen, only nothing happened.
The only thing that happened was that I got reacquainted with an old friend, who became my boyfriend, who became my fiancé, who became my husband, who became the father of our child.
I used to question why I was so happy. I would subscribe to the saying, “this too shall pass.” Though poetic, was damaging to me.
Now I ask myself, “why not?” Why not be happy? Why not feel love? Why not be hopeful?
Anyway, I’m 40 now, and I’m excited!