Academia - Blog Posts
Soft drizzles outside, cup of coffee on the side, wearing cozy clothes, reading a book, notes scattered all over, soft songs playing in the background,being delusion, and there's some sort of peace in the room....probably this is what it means to live in the present.
I seriously think boys need a apprecation post. So here it goes
Boys in general are really pretty and adorable.
Boys with slightly long and wavy hair. Boys who loves reading. Boys who loves talking about their interests. Boys who go head over heels for their significant other. Boy who have dimples. Boys who compliments. Boys who sing. Boys who like kids and nice to them. Boys who don't mock or tease on sensitive topics. Boys with brown eyes (those eyes glow under the sun). Boys who knows to control their anger. Boys who lets you know if they are busy (not to make you worried). Boys who like boybands. Boys who play instruments. Boys who don't degrade someone for doing something different. Boys who respects women.
Just ✨boys✨.
He is the gentleman in my eyes. He is such a kind man, and he rejoices when I get home safely. He is a person who enjoys learning specifics about my day. Someone who looks out for my overall health and wellbeing. Someone who will remind me to get a good night's sleep so I can wake up early on the days of my exams. During my difficult day, he is someone who keeps telling me, "You will rock it." someone who offers me their prayers for a positive day at school. He is not the person I refer to as my lover, but rather as my best friend. I would defend my best buddy from everyone who is against him.
I pleaded for more from him-more time to write about him and more days to learn about his passions for people, music and the art-but all he gave me was a bar of chocolate.
How am i supposed to say no?
Roses don't bloom quickly because, like any great work of art, beauty needs time to develop. Our love also blossoms in a very gradual, lovely way at its own speed, much like the rose. It's so lovely to witness how our relationship emits beautiful, wonderful sentiments at its own speed. Sometimes the thorns serve as a reminder that love may be painful, but the roses serve as a diversion and convince me that our love is also filled with beauty, affection, and passion. The rose will always represent how we are at our core true romantics.
(One week to go for valentine's day)
Appears to be a typical nerd with impressive academic brains. But he is the source of brightness in my otherwise dreary life. Although everyone thinks he is a bookworm, in my opinion, he is a poet who is hopelessly romantic but don't show it. He must be treated with care because he has a pure soul.
One particular girl is incredibly undervalued since she only asks for affection from people who write handwritten notes, buy her a bunch of flowers, and do the bare minimum. She reads novels and develops a romantic relationship with the imaginary world. She loses herself in poetry and romance novels instead of the real world since she is aware that people here want to be in immature relationships that will never lead anywhere.
"I made a mistake in what I did. The past few days, I didn't feel like myself. I was being brutal and rude. According to what you've told me, all the men in your life—aside from your father—have treated you cruelly and crudely. And I've devoted my entire being to avoiding being one of those. Unfortunately, I have in fact joined that group. I apologise." (a note found in a guy's diary)
"She studied the mythical book while seated in the library, holding a coffee in one hand and a pen in the other. She was so immersed in her book that she didn't even realize she had been disconnected from reality." - Devi
me, in any given conversation, redirecting the subject to greek mythology:
If you think about it, all our thoughts and morals and feelings are plagiarized as well. We are a product of what we hear, see, speak and learn. We pick and choose what we like best while the rest goes to deep recesses of our mind.
Someone, a long time ago, wrote the same words as me, albeit in a different format. That doesn't change the fact that we both reached the same conclusions. But the issue is that my thoughts were never uniquely mine. And in all honesty, I'm learning to deal with that.
~Me
"When the world shuts down and the quiet shushes and the darkness cloaks, I do the opposite. My small rebellions."
~Me
Creativity
You know, I’ve either had a family, a job,
something has always been in the way
but now
I’ve sold my house, I’ve found this
place, a large studio, you should see the space and the light.
for the first time in my life I’m going to have a place and the time to create.”
no baby, if you’re going to create
you’re going to create whether you work
16 hours a day in a coal mine
or
you’re going to create in a small room with 3 children
while you’re on welfare,
you’re going to create with part of your mind and your body blown away,
you’re going to create blind,
crippled
demented,
you’re going to create with a cat crawling up your back while the whole city trembles in earthquake, bombardment, flood and fire.
baby, air and light and time and space
have nothing to do with it
and don’t create anything
except maybe a longer life to find
new excuses for.
~Charles Bukowski
"So Now?"
the words have come and gone,
I sit ill.
the phone rings, the cats sleep.
Linda vacuums.
I am waiting to live,
waiting to die.
I wish I could ring in some bravery.
it's a lousy fix
but the tree outside doesn't know:
I watch it moving with the wind
in the late afternoon sun.
there's nothing to declare here,
just a waiting.
each faces it alone.
Oh, I was once young,
Oh, I was once unbelievably young!
~Charles Bukowski
Your river by the oak tree
has turned molten gold again,
as the glowing orb of light and life surrenders to the sapphire sky.
The cotton clouds float in shy, pink circles
While the rush of the river awakens a memory I had long forgotten,
When this same tree once bore luscious flowers,
Their scent wafting lazily into the cool breeze,
While we sat and reminisced about the possibility of other lives in the universe,
Under the silver moon.
A lot has changed since then.
Since the night we met.
~Me
"Totemism", Dime-Store Alchemy: The Art of Joseph Cornell by Charles Simic.
"The Sparrow in my Head"
There is a little sparrow in my head that likes to cause a mess.
It distracts me with its shrill screeching
that bounces against and vibrates my skull.
It flaps its tiny wings and causes a flurry in my head, like a feral hurricane.
It drills against my brain and causes pulsing migraines
and sometimes it nips at my eyeballs.
There is a little sparrow in my head
Shackled and caged behind bars of steel.
It is bruised,broken and battered
And its wings are clipped.
To set it free somebody will have to crack open my skull.
"It's not fair", cries the sparrow.
"Oh but it is fair", I reply,
"Just like, a head for a head,
a tail for a tail,
an eye for an eye,
and your freedom for mine."
The little sparrow gives a sad chirp and droops its wee head.
"Do not despair, little bird", I consol,
"One day you'll be able to fly,
high above, higher than the sky.
For just like in the circle of life,
the day your life begins,
is the day mine ends.
So chin up and wait some more,
just a little more time."
There is a little sparrow in my head that weeps tears of patience.
There is nothing else it can do.
~Me
*Inspired by Bluebird by Charles Bukowski*
Nothing is perfect BUT as long as there’s my glasses in every shot it’ll be fine.
mossy fiber butons.
I love them. absolutely gorgeous little dudes. I mean look at em.
In the hippocampus, they typically play a key role in plasticity, processing, and encoding of information. They are also located in the cerebellum as well. I will probably post more about them as there is a ton to cover!
250217/26
30-39/100 days of productivity
song of the week: b2b-charli xcx
it's been over a week since i last posted. i have been so stressed for my calculus midterm. i did over 250 integrals in five days, staying up until 4 am every day or not sleeping at all. my physics midterm got pushed to after the break so now i have three midterms back to back.
just had my calculus midterm last night and it honestly did not go well. this past week leading up to and after my exam definitely took a toll on me mentally, physically, and emotionally which undoubtedly affected my exam. but i'm going to try and stay motivated for my other classes and get a better mark on the calculus final.
i have so many lab reports and proposals to write now but at least reading week is next week and i'll be going home to see the sun.
pictures:
walking home after my midterm
6 am after studying all night
integrals on the classroom blackboard at 3 am (the janitor forgot to lock the door)
practice questions an hour before my midterm with friends
