My childhood ended like this: My father came home from work one day, took off his shoes, asked me to bring him some tea (his obsession with tea is terrifying) and casually asked me when college admissions begin. Naturally, I was not caught off guard and intelligently replied, “Admission who?”
The next day I was rudely woken up (early, might I add) by my brother singing, “Wake up, Quackess! Time to tear your hair out, beat yourself with an axe, and run into the wall head-first!!!”
Did I mention my brother does not sing well?
Noticing my less-than-subtle, bleary-eyed glare, he added, “Mumbai University Registration.”
I gave him my usual What-Did-You-Drink-This-Time look. I have used it so often, it’s become second nature. Grudgingly, I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom. Three seconds after I came out, I found myself thrown in front of the computer with my brother grumbling under his breath. I managed to catch “can’t even register without me” and “stupid Quackess” and “don’t like Amma’s cooking.” I avoid giving myself a headache by not trying to figure him out.
I went on Google and searched for the Mumbai University website. I clicked on the link that appeared and proudly thought, ‘Oh yeah! Now all I got to do is find this form and fill it!’ I gleefully beamed at the computer screen until Akshay said, “Wrong website.”
What?! But it said “Mumbai University” right there!
When I voiced these objections, he glanced up from Modern Combat 4 (a game, for those who don’t know) and brightly said, “There are two Mumbai University websites. They wouldn’t be able to live with themselves if they made things easy!” And then he went back to ambushing “Bunnnnny” in the multiplayer mode.
So I went to the previous page and located the correct website. Then I had to open a Power Point Presentation that Akshay had downloaded to figure out how to fill in this registration form. Which meant going through 52 slides one by one. And of course, you can’t just minimize it. No, you have to exit it every time you want to complete any step, which means that after you’re done with that step you have to open it and go through each slide again until you reach where you were before.
So, obviously, after two hours I had a headache, my brother was in a bad mood and my mother was crying because “education isn’t what it used to be when I studied.” And I also realized that whoever had made that PPT and designed the website spoke “The Inglis” (English).
When I got to the point where I had to upload my picture and signature, Akshay gleefully assured me that this step would take only six hours, while rubbing his hands with anticipation. Until I reminded him that he had to help me with it. His face fell faster than I did when I tried skateboarding.
Surprisingly, the picture was uploaded without much cursing, at which point Akshay started screaming about how the system was biased. After that, the rest of the process went smoothly (or as smoothly as Mumbai University Registration can go) and within 24 hours I was done. Victory! The hardest part of the process done! Yeah!
Then they told me junior college admissions don’t require registration with Mumbai University.
……
Kirtana P. Menon