sometimes I don’t know how to express to my friends how much I love them and appreciate them and what they do!!!!! like!!!! when they say they love me, care about me, love hanging out with me, etc I want to believe them and I do!!! but my anxiety tells me they don’t actually mean it!!! it tells me they’re lying!!! and it kills me!!! so when I’m told and shown love from them I don’t know how to accept it and express my appreciation and love back!!!! like no, thank you so much for getting me to drink and eat something when I don’t want to care for myself at all!!! thank you for telling me to sleep and trying to help me sleep!!!! thank you for understanding that I’m a touch starved fool and being affectionate with me!!!!! thank you for just looking out for me and simply being my friend!!!!! I love you guys so freaking much!!!! I hope that one day I learn how to express this properly!!!!
damn, haven't felt this sort of unreasonable fondness for a bunch of [new] people in a very long time. hope I don't mess it up