Aids Epidemic - Blog Posts
my night manager (who is a gay man) and i sometimes sit down and exchange stories and tidbits about our sexuality and our experiences in the queer cultural enclave. and tonight he and i were talking about the AIDS epidemic. he’s about 50 years old. talking to him about it really hit me hard. like, at one point i commented, “yeah, i’ve heard that every gay person who lived through the epidemic knew at least 2 or 3 people who died,” and he was like “2 or 3? if you went to any bar in manhattan from 1980 to 1990, you knew at least two or three dozen. and if you worked at gay men’s health crisis, you knew hundreds.” and he just listed off so many of his friends who died from it, people who he knew personally and for years. and he even said he has no idea how he made it out alive.
it was really interesting because he said before the aids epidemic, being gay was almost cool. like, it was really becoming accepted. but aids forced everyone back in the closet. it destroyed friendships, relationships, so many cultural centers closed down over it. it basically obliterated all of the progress that queer people had made in the past 50 years.
and like, it’s weird to me, and what i brought to the conversation (i really couldn’t say much though, i was speechless mostly) was like, it’s so weird to me that there’s no continuity in our history? like, aids literally destroyed an entire generation of queer people and our culture. and when you think about it, we are really the first generation of queer people after the aids epidemic. but like, when does anyone our age (16-28 i guess?) ever really talk about aids in terms of the history of queer people? like it’s almost totally forgotten. but it was so huge. imagine that. like, dozens of your friends just dropping dead around you, and you had no idea why, no idea how, and no idea if you would be the next person to die. and it wasn’t a quick death. you would waste away for months and become emaciated and then, eventually, die. and i know it’s kinda sophomoric to suggest this, but like, imagine that happening today with blogs and the internet? like people would just disappear off your tumblr, facebook, instagram, etc. and eventually you’d find out from someone “oh yeah, they and four of their friends died from aids.”
so idk. it was really moving to hear it from someone who experienced it firsthand. and that’s the outrageous thing - every queer person you meet over the age of, what, 40? has a story to tell about aids. every time you see a queer person over the age of 40, you know they had friends who died of aids. so idk, i feel like we as the first generation of queer people coming out of the epidemic really have a responsibility to do justice to the history of aids, and we haven’t been doing a very good job of it.
Ill fucking do it, darling.
god, GOD Freddie Mercury was such a fucking badass
SACRIFICIO by ERNESTO MESTRE-REED (AFTERTHOUGTS)
quickly: a young afro-cuban discovers an underground revolution while investigating the last days of his dead boyfriend ('la revolucion!' won’t die / tourists who won’t leave / sex on the beach / bonfire orgies / little explosions everywhere / the ghost of che guevara / fidel castro as the voice of god / the body is the battleground / the oppressed becoming the oppressor / little brothers following big brothers / individuals finding community / families split by politics / quarantined confinement / dark liquor / kitchens turned into restaurants / HIV as radicalism / radicalism as an artform / queer people in love / men who are afraid to die / cities in the sky).
This is not a review, but I wish it was. Just thoughts as I recollect on the books I've read this year.
This is a book that transformed my views on sex, partnership, and revolution. I read this book in March of 2023 and it is now December. This story (along with THE BOOKS OF JACOB and BELOVED and PIRANESI) has sat with me all year, challenging me to think about who I am in relation to my community, my government, and my body. It has made me think more about what I require (or desire) in a partner, and what I want for the people around me. While reading THE BOOKS OF JACOB, watching LOVE HAS WON: THE CULT OF MOTHER GOD, and simply watching the news, I kept asking myself the same question the book provokes… when do movements become cults? is the oppressed always doomed to become the oppressor? how do you disrupt a negative feedback loop? is it possible to start over and build something totally new?
★ ★ ★ ★ ★