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As of late, there has been much casting speculation on the hunky star of the Hunger Games' sequels Catching Fire and Mockingjay, Finnick Odair. He is described to be a tall, svelt, blonde with a beguiling smile. With majestic, Norse- deity looks such as these, the internet is twitterpated with who could possibly be cast as the trident-bearing Adonis.
Last week, Entertainment Weekly even published a poll with who people most wanted to see play Finnick. While the top choice Ryan Kwanten....
...makes sense, and who, like any good Aussie takes to the water like a perfectly sculpted dolphin, he's too old. Kwanten is 35, a young 35 to be sure, but mid-thirties just the same. It's not that I'm ageist, but rather that the casting has stuck fairly close to the ages the Hunger Games kids are supposed to be. Granted, Finnick is supposed to be 24, but still Kwanten might be a bit of a stretch.
Other top choices were Ryan Gosling (absurd), Channing Tatum (in what world?), and Kellan Lutz (nein, danke). The only one that made any sense to me, and who seems to have quite the crazed internet fan-base is Alex Pettyfer.
He, too, makes sense. So pretty. But he does have one major issue. If his performance in Beastly (I CANNOT RECOMMEND THIS FILM HIGHLY ENOUGH) is any indicator, we have no hope of understanding a single word he garbles out while trying to mask his English accent. There were moments in that movie that we rewound multiple times, and between three women, could not decipher any real words he'd said.
What I'm really trying to get at here is that we should stop all this speculation now because we're going to be nothing but disappointed. We are all firmly in different camps and all our selections have their faults. All we're doing is building up resentment and false hopes. I think everyone needs to sit tight and temper expectations until we get the casting announcement. Put on some One Direction, make some more Peeta and Gale themed "Keep Calm" memes, and relax. Don't set yourself up for disappointment...
...Unless of course you have placed yourself into my camp, which would make you right. Settle in smugly because you know your choice is the best and most apt. Your choice was originally up for the role of Peeta but ultimately lost out to Hutcherson. At first you were like, "How could they possibly?!" but now that Finnick is on the horizon you're all, "Hutcherson was the right choice then; this guy is the right choice now."
Who is it?
Why, it's Hunter Parrish! You may know him from his turn as bad boy Stan in 17 Again, Luke in It's Complicated, or most famously Silas on Weeds. Boy is fine, and what you might not be able to see here is that his mouth is filled with a million, gigantic, shiny white teeth. Is this picture not quite doing it for you? Do you need help completing the image?
Worry not. I've got you covered.
What a dream....