feel free to change words and pronouns as needed.
“Oh, hey, you’re that singer no one listens to.”
“Oh, hey, you’re the asshole no one likes.”
“I’m not shopping at this store. I’m robbing this store.”
“Psychologically speaking, vengeance rarely brings the catharsis we hope for.”
“Unless we all want to die very unpleasant deaths, we’re going to have to work together.”
“What the hell is up with this bow and arrow shit?”
“I love this chick. She’s got rage issues.”
“Your protection is based on the fact that people are scared of you.”
“You made me want to be a less terrible person.”
“If you want boys to respect you, show them you’re serious.”
“Nothing gets a guy’s attention like violence.”
“I underestimated you and I’m sorry.”
“I’m used to it.”
“I’m sorry, (name), I’m just a terrible person I guess.”
“So… we broke up.”
“She stole my fucking car!”
“That is childhood trauma right there.”
“Fine. But if you try to run, I will kill you.”
“I’m not proud of what I did.”
“I had to find a new identity. A new me. It wasn’t easy.”
“I guess all good things have to come to an end.”
“So, we broke up. I handled it real mature.”
“The inflection in your voice, the way you can’t hold eye contact, and the fact that you’re a filthy little thief, all suggest that you do.”
“Well, sounds like a dick.”
“You’re so tiresome! If you want my mercy, shut that hole in the middle of your face and listen.”
“(Name) is gone, but it’s just a matter of time before some other asshole tries to finish what he started.”
“You’re a filthy fucking rat.”
“That’s why he needs me to look out for him. That’s why he needs me to take care of him.”
“Still a work in progress.”