Another Level Of Delulu - Blog Posts

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ruqaiyah tilted her head, her earrings catching the low light as if to emphasize her. always her. the hubbub of the ball carried on around them, but in ruqaiyah’s mind, the room had narrowed to this singular, unwelcome confrontation. devani’s nonchalance was a far cry from the reckless, thoughtless girl she remembered. ruqaiyah didn’t know whether to find it amusing or infuriating. perhaps both.

“oh, how enlightening,” ruqaiyah purred, the sweetness in her tone so cloying it was venomous. “you don’t know why you’re here. typical devani, fluttering in like a moth to flame without thinking about what you might burn.” her lips curved into a smile so perfect it might have graced a painting, though her eyes remained cold.

she smoothed the silken folds of her gown, deliberately elegant, her nails glittering with gemstones as she waved off devani’s comment. “you speak of clinging as if it’s a fault. and yet here you are, circling back to things you claim to have let go.” she leaned closer, her voice dropping to a low murmur meant only for devani.

“you don’t really let go, devani. you just run. a habit, it seems, you’ve yet to break.”

she paused for a moment, dragging her amethyst orbs across devani's face and her frame. it were intentional; and if she had little pride or self respect, she would happily let devani toland take care of her in a range of manners.

pulling back, ruqaiyah laughed lightly, a sound utterly at odds with the tension between them. “but how silly of me. we’re not here to dig up old grievances, are we? we’re grown women now. mature, as they say.” her eyes sparkled with mockery. “so, tell me,” she continued, taking a sip from her goblet as if this were all a game she was winning, “what’s it like, proving you can still get it? how does my attention make you feel, fool of fools?"

"what can i say? i have always been a giver," devani smiled sweetly, though there was just as much sarcasm in her tone as in ruqaiyah's. her eyes followed the arc over ruqaiyah's shoulder, into the path of those stood behind her, and devani offered them an apologetic glance.

it was not true. for most of her life, devani had given little, but she had took, and she took, and then moved on before any could ask anything of her in return. the habits of a lifetime were not so easily broken. "and what is the alternative, ruqaiyah? to cling to everything that i have ever held in my hands and get dragged down under the weight of it all?" perhaps she was too quick to let things go, but at least she was letting go at all. looking at ruqaiyah, she knew how she would rather be.

she paused for a second, mulling over ruqaiyah's words. she was not privy to the coffers of ghost hill, her mother and brother trusting her not with such matters. was that why aditya had done what he did? no, she did not think so. he was an arrogant fool, but not utterly stupid. "that can't be it. even aditya knows that is no way to get a woman's dowry." she spoke not as if ruqaiyah was trying to insult her, but as though they were discussing this normally, rationally.

"it is amusing," she insisted. "and it's silly. all this fuss over something you will never wear again. why does it matter to you so much?" it was the question she had never quite gotten the answer to. the things that seemed so irrelevant, so meaningless to devani always seemed to be of the utmost importance to ruqaiyah. perhaps it was a side effect of living the life that was expected to live, and never broadening her horizons beyond that.

ruqaiyah posed a question of her own, and for a moment, devani struggled with the answer. there really wasn't one, or at least, not one that would satisfy. "i don't know," she admitted. "perhaps just to prove that i still can get it."