Antonin04 - Blog Posts

Serra nodded her approval when he explained. "That is good. She is a woman of good taste, you are well off listening to her." There had been a moment in time she'd been jealous and disliked the blonde, but she had gotten over it. She actually quite liked her now.

"I will wear it. It's quite lovely. If it was ugly I would have no problem telling you so. I think you could handle my honest opinion." Perhaps it went against propriety, but as long as people did not listen in she was fine stretching the boundaries. "They think they know what's best. It is hard to tell them that they do not. "

“Leta made comments and observations.  I think that I have spent enough time with her to understand the basics of picking out something that won’t end up as an expensive paperweight at least.” Antonin never wore much jewelry himself.  A chain was just something that could be grabbed or used against you if a fight went on long enough or got too heated.  Fighting against Leta had told him that much too, but he didn’t need to bore Serra with that, especially not on her birthday. “Don’t worry I’m not the type to tell you to put it on, it’s yours now and you can do with it what you will.  At most if I see you wearing it some time I might be quietly delighted.”  He thought to his own parents.  “Yes parents are hard to defy at times no matter your age, at least on the important things.  They always find the way to make you want to defy them, and still regret it if you get your way, don’t they?”

She didn't hide her disappointment at his answer, letting it rest on her face for a moment before she pasted a friendly smile onto her lips once more, ever the picture of amicability. "I hope that you do understand." Serra wasn't used to the concept of compromising, thinking that if she said what she wanted everything around her would shift to accomodate her wishes. This was the first time that didn't happen and honestly? She didn't think this was actually happening.

"I was always thinking I would one day like to move to Paris. It is my favorite city in the world." Serra mused, pausing as she looked over at him. Discussing this felt surreal, but it was good that they discussed it now, agreed on a story so there wouldn't be discrepancies. Damage control. "Perhaps we can say that I want to move and you don't. That way neither of us is painted in a bad light."

"No one would dare to break up with me." Serra confirmed his assumption with a small nod. It was always easier being the one leaving rather than the one who was left.

Serra looked over at him with a sigh, biting her lip. So this was the end. He wasn't begging for a second chance and somehow that made her respect him more. "I enjoyed our time together. I would say that I hope you find someone better, but as there's no such thing, I will say that I hope you find someone better suited for you."

“I won’t debate what’s owed at this level of courtship, perhaps it is best our journey ends while we can still part amicably.  I’m sure you’ll find someone to your standards and willing to devote themselves to you so wholly, desperately, and chastely.”  He let go of her shoulders, he could have lied to her told her they would be engaged, but though Serra was many things she was not one to suffer such a slight quietly.  It made him curious where she would go, who she might end up with on the way  there. “What is it you would like to tell people?  I’ll stick with how you would like to spin things as long as it’s reasonable and doesn’t paint either of us in too bad of a light.  A mutual disagreement or you have outgrown me, but I won’t drag myself through the mud.  A professional distance at events.  Don’t let this make you doubt yourself, it's not that you’re not enough, I just want more of you than you’re willing to give right now, knowing that is a kind of growth.” He tried to keep his smile warm, but there was a bit of bite in it.  His words were as always chosen carefully to garner a specific reaction. He waited smiling at her as if daring her to be something less than happy.  If he thought about it he was unsure what he was feeling exactly. “Have you had a relationship end on anyone’s terms but your own I wonder? Is that why you feel more comfortable saying the words I wonder?” He got closer to her than he meant to, perhaps it was affecting him more than he would admit,  “It’s a shame but I think our differences are irreconcilable.  Perhaps they were from the start, but it was fun to figure out I think, it was a delight to be seen with you, there is no one who can fill a moment the way you can or at least an event.”

Serra swallowed, not wanting him to notice that she was more nervous than she was letting on. She had a carefully crafted reputation and appearance, she didn't want him to think she was some foolish girl with no experience. "I live with my parents. I do not want to live alone just yet, it seems like too much work and I do not like to work." Her words albeit honest, were meant to stall. "I do not think my parents would approve of that." They were traditionalists through and through. They would not allow her to stay out all night at a man's house either. If he had been her husband they would not interfere, but if he was her fiancé they might take less offense with it, but she doubted that even then they would approve.

Serra kissed him back, letting herself get distracted, relaxing into his touch if only for a moment before she pulled away. She did not want to give this up. She liked spending time with him but he was asking a lot of her. Perhaps more than she was capable of giving him. At least at this point.

Hearing the confirmation that there were indeed others bothered her and the glint of annoyance and jealousy was obvious when he spoke about it. While he had been seeing her he had been with others. It wasn't something she had ever had to deal with, the guys she'd been with had been interested in her and only her, basically worshipping the ground she walked on, begging for her attention. "The entire time you've been seeing me there were others?" Serra shook her head. It was incomprehensible to her. It bothered her more than his focus on the physical part of a relationship. "I do think this is where our journey ends."

He looked at her trying to get a read on her so undaunted.  She must have a goal even if it was him. This wasn’t a thing she could bluff though not really, at least for long did she realize that? He would make sure.  He grasped her tightly there was no space between them.  He held her squeezed her.  She was supple he held her close speaking slowly.  “Facts can still be asserted boldly.  To promise this so freely I would have you know what you’re getting yourself into.  Do you live at home?  I would have access to you, stay with you most nights if not all, there or here I don’t care, but your parents certainly might.” He moved grabbing her bottom a simple if signifying gesture.  If she shrunk from that he would know she was all talk. “I don’t care if I am your first or just your last until one or both of us are done, but if we are to be each other’s everything we must be at each other’s call.  I promised you romance, pampering, training, none of that will stop but there will be more.”  He kissed her again biting her lip, a small thing but something signifying the new eyes he saw her with. Was she truly his equal or just playing at it. “If you are making me choose and choose now. I want us both to be happy with the choice.  No regrets.  I’ll need time to break it to the others, some will be simpler than others.  You can always leave, but hot and heavy or not at all.  This is what I’m asking of you.  I will devour you and you will enjoy every moment of it.  See to it that you enjoy your prime and are enjoyed in turn.  If I’m to be satisfied with just you, you will see how insatiable I truly am.  Are you sure this is something you agree to Serra Borgin?” He teased at the small of her back and the slit of her dress as if he was just realizing how well she filled out her dress. “You are a delightful morsel Serra Borgin, and I would sample you, deeply, carnally.”  He traced his hand on her bare leg. “I would like a physical relationship. To consummate ours regularly, so there is no confusion in what I am asking you.”

"I know what I want and what I am worth. I do not see it as boldness if it is factually accurate, which I believe it to be." Serra informed him with a matter of fact tone, keeping eye contact with him and not shying away from it. "It is something I would promise because I know I am capable of being everything." Growing up with a silver spoon and being told that she was perfect day in and day out left its mark on her. "You do not scare me, if I make demands I suppose you making some would be fair as well. As long as there is no one else." Serra did not know what she was talking about, acting like she had more experience than she actually did. She'd been with all but two guys before.

Kissing him back she was infatuated, it made her feel important and powerful knowing that he wanted her. "I have not asked you to apologise. Your experience is something that is far preferable to someone my age that is inexperienced. I do know that I am beautiful."

"You should know that I will not be waiting around forever. If you choose to go for someone else and satisfy your curiosity elsewhere I will make my choice as well. I am in my prime and you are not my only option." She was not willing to wait around like a fool waiting for him to choose her. "You either choose me or you don't. But you don't get to come back if you don't choose me in the first place. I am no second choice nor am I a consolation prize."

He brushed his hand against her cheek. “You are even more bold than I thought.  Are you saying you will be all they are and more is that something you would promise?  It’s a lot for one so young and inexperienced.”  He held her face so she couldn’t look away. “You have been bold so I will too. I am a crass thing with certain appetites, I didn’t want to subject you to anything you might not be ready for make demands of you that were too physical.  A kiss, an embrace are pleasant but I’m talking about more than that, not eventually now.  It isn’t much time and it is an unfair demand, but I feel an equal one to severing ties that I have developed, turning all focus to you. It’s only fair I tell you what I would that focus would entail unless you discover yourself repulsed by my desires. We are both people of certain tastes, and I feel once I have tasted you I will want more..” He kissed her, the reason might be colored by her response, but for now he used the gesture to speak to his point. It was a thing of lust rather than love, something to entice as well as sample.  “One may only be around pretty things for so long without sampling or spoiling them, and though I pride myself on many things, chastity is not one of them, but I don’t apologize for that.  From the beginning I have told you that I am dark and cruel, but you are smart enough to know that you are physically desirable.  Attractive as well as beautiful.”  Her rubbed his thumb across her lips, more a gesture of desire than intimacy. “” “I won’t make you promises I have no intent to keep, but if I can’t have you now, fully and without reservation, or a way to expel desires that would make me present an indecorous image. I will come to you when I’m more available, ready to endure the triteness of a chaste courtship assuming we are both still interested and available of course.  Maybe by then you will know the duality required to maintain a perfect appearance.”

"I am very beautiful, that's true, but you should not sell yourself short. Of course I am the better looking one out of the two of us as I am a woman and naturally more beautiful but you are handsome as well. I would not show interest in you if I found you undeserving of my attention." Serra was very particular with who she paid attention to and who she didn't. She liked to pick and choose who she believed was worthy of her time. "Why not?" What reason would he be giving her, she wondered.

"I would never settle. If I choose the person I want to be with it is because I decide that is who I want. I deserve to have the best of the best, one that will shower me in gifts and in compliments. Just me. Not anyone else." Her voice turned sugary sweet as she focused her attention back on him. "If you want to continue seeing me, you will not be seeing other women. The choice is yours. If you are unsure and are interested in others, then your answer is made and this is where we say goodbye. I deserve undivided attention and focus. I am the best, but I will not compete with other women for your affection. While I do not want to get betrothed or married yet, I know my worth."

“Hmm.”  He moved a hand to stroke her cheek. “You are beautiful, effortless, beyond reproach, but I am, not.  I feel undeserving when I’m around you, you say you’re inexperienced, and I enjoy experiencing you, but I feel that as I am I can’t give you what you deserve even if I would like to.”  He stopped as if struggling with the words or how they might land.  “I worry that you will be done with me as you grow, become the perfect thing that I know you are, and regret settling. You shouldn’t be forced to settle, and I’m not in a position to be as serious with you as I would like to.”  He looked at her, deciding he should be as straightforward as she had been.  “I’m seeing other women.  I’m worried you might have heard something or gossip, or will and this is something you should hear from me.  I feel like it’s something I need to do before I get serious about anyone.  At least to the level everyone is rushing into betrothals and bringing other people into them.” He moved closer looking into her eyes and squeezing her shoulders.  “Breaking a betrothal or getting into a marriage that was a failure is not something I will do.  I couldn’t leave someone I cared about that much or betray them after making that kind of promise.”

Serra had been off conversing and pretending to care what other witches were saying when Antonin grabbed her hand and they disapparated before she could come up with an excuse to say goodbye. Not that she cared about what they thought, but people talked. Especially because they were jealous of someone as gorgeous as her. It was only natural for them to be so. She looked around the unfamiliar area, confused to where he had swept her off to. Serra wanted to ask, but he had kissed her before she could utter a single syllable.

His kiss had consumed her, distracted her. There was something going on and she didn't know what it was. Perhaps he would tell her, perhaps he wouldn't. If it had nothing to do with her, she could do without knowing, but if it did thought she had a right to know. His words alarmed her, never liking to hear the word serious, but the compliments soothed her enough to listen to him. "What do you wish to tell me?"

Who: @serraborgin Where: Zafar x Evelyn Wedding/ Antonin's Flat There was no time, no explanation. He needed to get away and take her with him somewhere they could speak in private. He apparated the last place she had been and took Serra's hand before apparating again before she could protest. It had been enough time he thought, and he couldn't risk something worse happening. They appeared inside the safety of one of his flats. A nice quarter of London, tucked away. No one would notice their sudden appearance with the curtains drawn. Before any words could be exchanged he kissed her. The same fire in his eyes was there. He needed to be close to someone and he wasn't sure what light she would see him in once he was done talking. He stared at her hands clasped on her shoulders, breathing in slowly trying to get ahold of himself. "You don't know how long I wanted to do that, give you a proper snog, something too scandalous for that uptight wedding." He stroked her chin. "You are gorgeous. I don't deserve you. Can I speak with you, be serious for a moment. I need to tell you something that I didn't want anyone over hearing. I needed to be alone with just you, Serra."