pls this is so soft i cant 😭(also a lot longer than i anticipated but that's FINE 👀)
part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8
gang we got this ADORABLE art from @super-yellow-paris go give them aaaalll the love
so andrew and neil aren't too big on PDA, but after Baltimore, leaving the other is always followed by a lingering fear
neil notices how andrew always tenses a bit when neil leaves him, even if neil told him he was going somewhere beforehand
it could him going be to the mall, a restaurant, even just lectures
neil really doesn't like seeing andrew so tense but he can't figure out what's wrong
so one night on the roof, neil straight up asks "why do you always look so stressed whenever I go anywhere?"
andrew doesn't answer for a few moments, and neil assumes he's not going to get an answer but then—
"last time you left, you barely made it back. do you really expect me to trust you now?"
oh, neil realizes. oh, he's afraid i won't come back
andrew looks like he wants to drop the subject, so neil doesn't bring it up again, choosing to rant about his Intro to Stats teacher instead
but he doesn't forget. and he starts noticing how other couples leave one another
matt and dan kiss or hug, nicky and erik say "i love you," aaron and katelyn squeeze each other's hands and look into each other's eyes
it's all very... comforting. reassuring. and neil realizes that that's exactly what he needs to do. he needs to make sure that andrew doesn't forget that neil would never leave him again, not on purpose
so he thinks and thinks and thinks
(he quickly learns that paying attention in his Sports Medicine class is a lot less interesting than thinking about andrew)
neil knows that andrew wouldn't want showy affection with lingering kisses and they haven't really gotten to the "i love you" stage yet, so he needs to figure out a compromise
and then on a cloudy monday morning, the perfect solution hits him
he and matt study together almost every thursday, so 3 days later, they have a plan to head over the library to do some homework
so matt comes up to the monsters' room where neil and andrew are to tell neil that it's time to go
neil hops up from his place curled under andrew's arm on the sofa and goes around collecting his stuff — as usual
and andrew's shoulders begin coiling up with near-unnoticeable tension — as usual
this time though, instead of walking out the door directly, neil pauses in front of andrew and sets down his books on the coffee table near the sofa
and before andrew or matt can react, neil does it
he reaches over, gently cups andrew's face in his hands, and kisses him on the nose
it's feather-light and short, but andrew freezes, his face more expressive than he usually shows, eyes wide
neil gives him a small smile shit shit shit andrew's heart is beating so fast, come on andrew get a hold of yourself say something do something and then he picks up the books delicately and leaves with a gobsmacked matt
andrew doesn't really know what to do with himself and just sits there until kevin arrives 5 minutes later and asks why andrew is so red, if he's okay, does he has a fever, can he still play exy?
andrew shakes out of his stupor, stomps over to his room, and flops helplessly on his bed to be very gay
(this is how neil finds him 1.5 hours later. he tries (and fails) not to laugh. andrew gives him a bruising kiss to shut him up)
it becomes habit though. neil treating andrew like he's something precious, holding his face so reverently, kissing his nose softly
and andrew doesn't know what to do with himself. every single time
but it's okay, he thinks. because while goodbyes might sound permanent, kisses are a promise that the other will come back