Armin Arlert X Reader - Blog Posts

this is so preciousss🩷🥹

"Tell me if this gets boring," you say demurely, thumbing, almost nervously, at the edge of the page. You can feel Armin's weight against you; a warm, large shoulder pressed into yours, his side so close to yours it is almost making you flush.

He'd tilted his head to read with you, leaning it on your shoulder. You tried to tilt the book for him, but he simply hummed disapprovingly - not unlike the hum he makes right now.

"Just one more chapter," he says, voice soft and quiet, and as he presses himself closer to you, you know it will be at least two more.

tag list: @arlerts-angel @supersupper @levistealeaf @sukunascrustyfinger @nilaaaas @chiinni @dilfkentolover @arminarlertssword @bel-https @layla240 @katestrophes @er3nscottonpicker @siiyoko @ryoiii @lemontrees-things @arminarlertspersonalnurse @dvrkfverie @girlybelle @blvewave

requests are dearly appreciated, darlings 💗

⸻ 𝑺𝑶 𝑷𝑹𝑬𝑻𝑻𝒀 𝑾𝑯𝑬𝑵 𝑯𝑬 𝑪𝑹𝑰𝑬𝑺 ೃ✩

𝖠𝖱𝖬𝖨𝖭 — アルミン ⋅ fem reader

❧summary: armin is the prettiest crier you've ever seen.

❧warnings: dacryphilia, dry-humping, choking, bl*wjob, prettygirl!reader, softdom!reader, sub!armin, crybaby armin<3.

armin is so pretty when he cries. pretty is an understatement when it comes to him, everyone knows. his pretty doe eyes and silk golden hair, his button nose and perfect cheekbones adorning his petal skin and chiseled face. from his phisique to his whole expression of self, armin was a beautiful masterpiece. you mused on this specific thought while you violently humped his thigh for the past half-hour, greedily chasing your 3rd orgasm now that you could feel it slowly building within you– completely ignorant to armin's crying and pitiful pleading for your obvious neglect to his hurting bulge.

“angel, p-please... i–” armin's plea died in a choked whine when the hand in his throat suddenly clamped hard.

“armin.” you warned as he recoiled, already expecting your correction. “don't be greedy. good boys don't act greedy, ‘min. you don't wanna be bad, do you?” armin gulped. he knew you'd go straight for his gut. armin didn't want to be bad. he always wanted to do you good.

see, you never liked hurting the blond, and although armin promised that the choking wasn’t a problem, you couldn't help but feel a little guilt. pain play was new to you two, and it was something that you couldn’t tell if you both really enjoyed. armin knew he liked it because he got off on being dommed by a pretty girl like you plus, in the end he’d be getting a flood of praise and compliments. pain was something he could endure if it meant he’d be getting gallons of attention. you liked it because you got to make him cry. simple as that.

even the absolute art he was, armin managed to look even more ethereal when he cried. it was something about his glassy blue eyes and slightly reddened face. or the pearly tears gathered at his lashes, gleaming in his waterline before cascading his cheeks like diamonds on his skin. it all made him look all the more otherworldly, like he belonged in those oil paintings where people cried crystal wax tears.

“f-fuck. almost there, ‘min. pleasepleaseplease... b-baby i.. oh god–” you grinded down harder than ever against him now as armin grabbed your hips and added firmness to your frantic motions, quickly guiding you to your high by directly pressuring your clit on his thigh.

you came before you even knew with a loud cry; and armin sobbed a short yelp when your hand in his throat involuntarily tightened at the intensity, setting new tears down his face. you couldn’t help but soften at the sight. “aww, don't cry, baby. it's okay, hm? c'mere.”

you brought a hand up and petted armin’s hair, kissing away the tears rolling down his cheeks. “you're such a good boy, ‘min. you took that so well.” armin whined at the praise, but didn’t verbally respond. “it’s okay, ‘min. breathe for a minute.”

“baby, are you okay? what’s wrong? did i go too hard?” you brought both hands to armin’s face, cupping his cheeks while wiping the tears that gently streamed down them. you couldn’t deny being concerned, though. considering he wasn't one to not use his words or at least give an indication of his emotions.

“n-nothing wrong. i just…” armin’s hands remained on your hips, although the pool in his stomach was starting to overwhelm him. “it hurts.”

you followed his gaze down, and it was impossible to ignore the throbbing erection beneath him. armin couldn’t hold back his sniffling, or control the tears on his face. he was needy, hurting, and most of all horny. you slowly pulled armin’s head forward, gently kissing him before whispering into his ear.

“why didn’t you say anything, baby?

“i wanted to be good.”

your heart melted at his words. armin’s cheeks and the tip of his nose are pink and shiny, making you want nothing more than to kiss his pretty flushness away. “you are good. you’re so good, ‘min.” you took his lips in a deep kiss. “‘nd so pretty too. you're so pretty when you cry, y'know... so hot. you wanna get off, baby?”

armin’s face softened at the praise, nodding his head agressively as he could feel the heat below him start to rise. his breath hitched when you took his erection out of his pants and lowered to your knees, wasting absolutely no time on taking him in your mouth.

edged as he was, it only took a few bobs of your head to turn him fully into a moaning, squirming mess. he blabbered broken pleas, sobbing uncontrolably and obscenely from overstimulation as you felt him curl in on himself to pull on your hair for some kind of leverage, absolutely aching to cum.

feeling the droplets of his tears fall on your face and his breath hitch, you swirled your tongue around him one more time before finally granting him his merciful release.

“be a good boy and cum for me, ‘min.”

and he did. as you watched his entire body tremble and convulse when his eyes rolled to the back of his skull, and felt his warm spurts of come mingle with the droplets of his tears in your face, you mused once again;

yeah, armin is so pretty when he cries.

by GIRLYBELLE

𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃 ೃ✩

𝖠𝖱𝖬𝖨𝖭 — アルミン ⋅ fem reader

❧synopsis: you and armin have this one very peculiar measure for ‘keeping your minds sane’.

❧warnings: c*ckwarming, emotional s*x, established relationship, codep. if you squint, unprotected s*x, praise kink, creampie, mentions of anxiety; subspace. armin and reader being addicted on one another. (happy belated birthday armin!!).

“doing okay?” armin's quizzical soft voice brought you out of your dreamy state.

you felt lightheaded and drowsy, unsure about how long you both have been bundled up like this. bodies glued together, his c0ck buried deep inside you, cheek smushed on his shoulder and arms clinging onto him being your only connection to reality. a nice contrast with the gummy hug of your walls on him and the pressure of his rosey tip nudged against your cervix. it felt so big, you mused while your brain dove so deeper in the daze pool that even formulating a coherent thought was hard. the only one being how good it felt to be so completely filled with armin. god, you loved to be close to him like this —your body, mind and senses all intoxicated by only armin— it felt so comforting and grounding. so very addicting. armin was the sweetest of drµgs.

“good” you managed the answer out of your jello-turned brain. “s-so big, ‘min– m’ so full.”

armin smiled fondly. he also loved getting you like this. smooth. lulled. pacified. squeezing you more to himself, he followed your gaze to the pale light crossing the glass window. the early morning sky was cotton white, limpid. the sun looked like a giant pearl in the center of it –completely shrouded by clouds, which added a crystalline aspect to its shimmering rays. it was one of those truly perfect silver mornings.

“oh, yeah?” he thrusted up into you experimentally and you audibly moaned, air knocked right out of you. “feels good?” he knows it does, you don't need to answer; you two deliberately did not talk nor moved much in these moments –they were precisely for minimizing stimulation after all. downtime.

“gimme me a deep breath again, hm?” he nosed at the soft skin of your cheek. happily numb on his chest, you obeyed.

you and armin had started this new routine, one to ‘take care of your brains’. you worried about one another's mental state as both of you struggled with a bit of anxiety, so you settled a strict self-care consensus. screen times were now shorter, sleep schedules less flexible, and you two had a set of downtimes during the day. in the mornings anxiety woke you with the agonizing feeling of a stuffed head blocked from actual rest and the overstimulation of your own mind's sabotage; armin would always sense it to your saving grace–just as you always sensed when it was him who needed care,– and on that sentiment your little self-care routine was born.

so you didn't protest when he picked you up in his arms, pressing you against him while sitting you on his cock, eyes fluttering closed as you impaled yourself on him. you startled at the stretch, moaning when his tip nestled deep inside of you and prodded at your sweet spot.

“god, you're so warm.” he grunted, gently guiding your head to his shoulder as he tried to concentrate on easing himself into the moment with you.

downtime was a moment to unwind and recharge, a safe refuge; you'd recently learned about sensory deprivation. armin had sent you an article suggesting you both should try it. it read on how much it helped with anxiety, happiness and health with the end goal being resetting of the mind by experiencing an completely peaceful headspace. the usual sessions consisted of a set of noise canceling earbuds, a weighted blanket, a dark room and solitude —the special sessions however, included the presence of the other to reach the 'peaceful headspace', only reserved for when one's stress was too inflamed for space alone to be enough to remedy it, like now. special downtimes had three established stages for creating said peaceful mind bubble, a process of cleansing of the mind;

one. minimizing stimulation was essential; allow stillness to be the base of coordination and utter clearing of the thoughts is the base. armin's secure hold, the earbuds, a weighted blanket, a dark room and quiet being your allies.

two. emptying of the mind; distracting activities that kept the use of the senses to a minimum. breathing exercises. the one in charge usually leaded them –today it was armin. your chest glued to his helped you follow his calm breathing and heartbeat. even and peaceful. quietude devoided your mind of any thoughts and peace settled.

three. stability is the pacifier; securing the peace of mind by focusing it on a sole stimulus: pacifier. something grounding to latch on and keep your mind sane and clear of bad thoughts; the key piece needed to put you into the perfect blissful bubble only yours to comfortably float through. the refuge only armin could bring you. subspace.

you clinged to armin like a baby to its pacifier.

“breathe, sweetheart. slow and deep for me, yeah? in and out– good job.” he encouraged with gentle hands massaging your body.

the sight to behold of his gorgeous girl all dazed, high off of him and cock-drunk could make armin cum completely untouched, but he wouldn't. he was always determined to make sure you were fucked completely dumb, to make you forget and your body-mind always remember him for a good while before even thinking of letting you down again. maintenance.

he always waited for you patiently. the time spent calming your minds by relishing this pleasure felt perfect for the past hour until it gradually, slowly became a bother. as the daze ebbed away and your crave intensified by the minute, you became almost painfully aware of your surroundings. of your warm bodies glued together, of his arms holding you to him in a vice grip, of his thick length lodged in you. the blazing knot in your core was ready to snap any moment and the ache in you being both unbearable and not enough.

“mmmh-” you squirmed, wiggling in his lap in an attempt to get comfortable —to sate this ache for more just a for a little bit.

“baby, wait–ah!” you and armin cried out in unison as in your squirming, his cock glided even deeper in your walls and hit right on your sweet spot. the sudden stimulation on him and the surge of pleasure caused on you almost making you two pop that very moment.

recovering from your almost-orgasm, you opened your eyes to an ethereal armin. with eyes screwed shut and pearly tears gathered at his lashes, flushed pink all over, jaw clenched and nails digging into your hips trying his best not to come. endearment bubbled in your chest at the fact that armin held himself at edge of his orgasm just for the sake of waiting for you to come with him. god, you loved him so much. armin's always been sensitive. controlling himself at the feeling of you enveloping him so deliciously inside of you must've been so hard for him and you didn't even realize how close the both of you were at this point. and yet, he'd endured all of it concentrated only on you. always your good boy.

“baby...?” you kissed gently across his cheeks and nose over and over to soothe him; and wiggled impatiently on his lap when he opened his eyes, glazy and dark with lust.

“m’here, angel...” he breathed just before crashing your lips in a deep kiss.

you moaned into his lips as you suddenly felt him thurst up hard in you from below. the force of armin's hips knocked you off balance slightly and in a haste you placed your hands on his chest to keep yourself grounded, but that meant you had nothing to cover your sounds, resulting in gorgeous moans to flow from you above him. you soon bounced up and down him to meet your boyfriend's implacable pace. the pleasure was downright earth-shattering now and you doubted you'd last much longer, all you could do was cling onto him for dear life and moan shamelessly.

down below you armin was no better. he couldn’t control his moans and whimpers if he tried, and with how good you made him feel, he didn't have a care in the world about how he sounded. all he could focus on was how good it felt rutting deep into you where he belonged. in his mind all armin wanted was more, more of you and endlessly more of the home you provided him with and to push you both closer and closer to the sacred edge.

“good girl... ‘being so good for me, angel. s-so good–ah! you're all mine, baby–shit.” armin stuttered out as you gasped when he pulled you even harder to himself like you were a beautiful dream that would vanish if he didn't clutch on it hard enough; his psyche only chanting mine, mine, mine over and over like a prayer.

“y-yes! pleasepleaseplease ‘min... i-i'm only yours baby–fuck! ‘m so close, love... a-ah!” you craddled the back of his head and nuzzled your nose on his ear moaning right into it, completely drowned in pleasure.

“s’okay, princess. cum for me.” he whined also painfully close to his high. “s-so perfect, baby... gonna be my good girl and cum for me? ah-fuck. i-i've got you, angel.”

all the pleasure, the want, the burning love –everything felt too good, unbearably and overwhelmingly perfect for either of you to last much longer, time seemed to pause when you locked lips once more. and with one last meet of your hips, the world stopped. you saw the light of heaven itself with the intensity your high crashed over you, coming undone above him with an obscenely strangled moan. the heavenly sight was all armin needed to bring him to his own completion.

“oh, god–” armin gave a low and drawn-out moan when he finally came deep inside of you, marking your core with white and filling you up completely. his body trembled uncontrolably as he rode out your orgasms; and turned you into a drooling whining mess by the time he was done.

you were so good for him. his good baby girl fucked completely dumb. he was convinced it was perfection in its purest state. his good girl. armin felt beyond fulfilled.

both of you recovered in each other's arms; breathless, eyes squeezed shut, droplets of sweat and tears in your cooling hot red faces. as you came down of the extratospheric high, the realization that not once did armin's grip on you loosen this whole time caused a surge of love for your boyfriend to fill your eyes, heart and being. you felt whole and perfect. it was sublime how armin could efortlessly stabilize your emotions like this, and your mutual innate ability of being each other's comfort place. you soon felt warm tears to slide down your cheeks at such emotions. the whole experience was cathartic.

“‘m-min...” your small voice trembled when you got armin's attention, ocean eyes softening in love at the sound of it.

“i’ve got you, baby,” armin coos, hands trembling lightly as he clutches your face. with a small smile, he kisses you, the flush on his cheeks unbearably warm. “there you go, angel. breathe... i'm right here.” he cooed. sometimes it was so unfair; just how adorable armin was. “you did so wonderful, love... i love you.”

“i love you more.”

“i love you so much more...” he smiled gingerly into your lips. “do you feel better?”

“i feel perfect... thank you. i really needed this– needed you so badly. thanks for this, baby.”

“always, baby... it's me who should be thanking you if anything. i'd stay with you like this forever if i could.”

your glossy eyes carved eternal 'i love you's into each other's souls with the intensity of the pure love overflowed between you; an eternally flowing love from both hearts –its sacred fountain. he caressed your cheek affectionately and kissed you gently again, his other arm always craddling you to his chest, never letting you go even an inch separate from him. you felt so secure in armin's arms. soon, a familiar peace steadily invaded you as you felt your mind begin its submerge in the mental water of subspace– head feeling light and burden-free, just like a dove's feather. downtime was done.

“i’m here, always. i’m not going anywhere.” he cooed.

you felt like you could cry again solely from the praise. there was something about armin that made you feel everything with a strength you couldn’t describe.

an already vulnerable mindstate combined with armin's affection could put you easier into subspace than you normally ever would. the bombload of sensations he caused on you was the essence to create this magical dimension only armin could provide you. and only for you. he made you feel glorious and powerful; it made you truly believe him when he called you an angel. his angel. this type of subspace felt like a marvelous, almost utopian high. pure ecstasy brought alife from the abstract by his love for you.

“i love you, ‘min. so much.” you mumbled, groggily burying your nails on the back of his head, craddling it and watching your lover sigh with closed eyes at the shiver it gave him. you sealed your lips a final time, in one last effort before exhaustion finally flooded your senses.

“i love you too, angel... more than anything. don't ever forget that.” he promised sincerely, lovingly in between kisses to your face making you giggle quietly. “okay? my gorgeous girl.”

wholehearted giggles filled the room. you could stay all your life just like this, scooped up in his arms forever and always; in this safe haven just breathing in one another and getting intoxicated off it until your bodies gave out like this. the idea of monotony dreaded you, but it was the idea of eternity with your precious boy that sounded like the most beautiful of dreams conceivable. such a beautiful dream.

your mind teetered a bit on the edge of consciousness, causing subcounscious wishes to emerge unbidden to set your mind free to float through oblivion.

“‘wanna be with you like this forever too, ‘min. just you and me... forever and always, right?” you slurred out, snuggling into the soft cloud that was his chest. armin felt just as drunk off of you as you were of him, the way he embraced you and smushed his cheek on the top of your head with already closed eyes showing just how far gone he was when he dreamily promised you.

“yeah. that's right, baby... forever and always. just us.”

and with that, you finally glided into the arms of morpheus together. with minds at home in this secure embrace, you realized there was no other place you would rather be than here– in your own comfy bubble, where you and armin flew and played beyond the clouds of bliss; forever safe and contented. and life felt good once again.

© GIRLYBELLE

LOVESHAPED SWEET — 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐀. ⋅ fem reader

❧synopsis: an insight into one of armin's cutest love languages: baking for you.

❧warnings: armin being precious; tooth-rotting fluff again <333

𝐛𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧'𝐬 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐤. and the sweet detail about it is that armin's habit for baking comes from his connection with his mom. in his childhood, his mother baked him a lot of healthy pastries: sugar-free banana brownies, stacks of pancakes or fruit pies; mrs. arlert knew all about healthy recipes and some tecniques for sugar substitutes that were equally delicious since sugar was an luxurious item back in the walls. armin ate a lot of those treats and was probably all snacks he had in his childhood.

and it's an beyond adorable surprise that you happen to find out one morning when he comes to greet you good morning with a bowl of freshly made biscuits along with your favourite tea;

“three sugars, just the way you like it.” he beams in his ever so sweet morning voice, raspy and slightly whiny. there's still trace of sleep in his eyes and lazy smile too as you lean in to litter kisses to his temple and the spot on his flushed cheek just below his eyes.

“oh baby...” you say flatteringly inhaling the savory aroma of his lovemade work.

“smells so heavenly, ‘min... you made them all yourself, baby? just for me?” as you prainsingly reach out too stroke his flaming cheek,

“w-well yeah... just for you, love.” armin grabs one of the heart-shaped biscuits, still blushing as he presses them to your lips. “here, try it. s’all yours.”

and as the treat hits meets your tongue, your love for him overflows. you could only taste the alluring sweetness of his love in the tiny balls of pastry, chocolate and sugar. the feeling overwhelming you whole, overpleasing your palates. takes you a few seconds to open your eyes to the precious sight of your boyfriend, gazing doe-eyed at you in expectation.

feeling your heart swell and tingle inside, this time you're the one to bring the sweet to his lips, smiling lovingly, armin is your person, after all; “tastes just like heaven too.”

by GIRLYBELLE

GUILTY PLEASURE — 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐀. ⋅ fem reader

armin eats pussy for his pleasure. it's one time you see him fully lose control over himself, his mind becoming intoxicated by the sight of you all pretty and splayed over the bed, cunt glistening and exposed to his gaze like a juicy feast; the moment you saw the last drop of self control leave his brain at the godly sight.

“armin, s-slow down–fuck!” you plead helplessly but to no avail. your scent, your gorgeous sounds and your addicting body all took armin far too gone and the way he lapped and slurped greedily at your juices only attested to his lost sanity. you moaned and squirmed away as you felt yourself spiral inevitably down your second orgasm this night.

“you taste so good, angel... so, so good.” the vibrations his voice sent to your clit only loudened your shameless moans and drawed out the waves of your high, “you're so pretty.”

armin groaned when you desperately pulled back on his tousled hair, clearly overstimulated. his eyes were half-lidded, pupils blown wide, chin glistening and dripping a combination of your juices and saliva while he still clutched your sore thighs, seeming to be in a complete trance. armin's always been gentle, a kind, passionate and selfless lover who'd always put your needs before his, it was just the kind of person he was– which made your discovery of this layer of him all the more exciting and hot. the fact that this was a need of his and you were the trigger to bring out this side of his complex personality like a switch only amplified your ego and arousal for him. armin looked like a madman. and you shivered when his eyes bored into yours as he continued talking;

“and all mine too, right? you're all mine.” he said already bracing himself, to your panic.

“yes, baby. i-i am, but wait–”

“one more, sweetie. just one for me. i promise i just need one. i swear.” he chanted almost incoherently.

“m-min, wait–” his sudden dive in your core melted your sentence into a strangled moan as he began his devour on you implaccably once again.

and you would give him one more, armin would make damn sure of it. as your body writhed and squirmed helplessly at his mercy, you mused at the safe word you two had agreed on that was at your disposition at anytime, all you needed to do was say it and armin would be back to you with comfort and his sickly sweet words in an instant. and yet, you didn't. because you were obsessed with every side and layers of armin arlert's, and he was more than willing to give you a taste of every one of them.

by GIRLYBELLE.

ANGELS — 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐀. ⋅ fem reader

❧summary: waking up with armin is your daily slice of paradise. (this is a repost from my old account <3)

❧warnings: tooth-rotting fluff <3.

❧word c.: 886

the sun rose a while ago.

it was costumary for you to wake up earlier some mornings, not only to admire armin's beauty and peacefulness just a bit longer; but also for him not to wake up alone, for him to wake up to you so patiently, happily waiting for him, or sometimes for you to even softly wake him up yourself.

and god did you love to do it — wake armin up was one of your favourite things to do in the world. to be the one to wake up next to him... trail your nails through his scalp, watch him utter tiny smiles in his slumber, probably a result of dreaming; you often wondered what did your pretty boy dreamed about. and as the morning light shone upon the crown of his head, lightening his golden hair like a halo, you smiled at the idea of angels, thinking it was only fit for a pure golden soul like him to dream of his own kind.

“baby...?” you whispered lowly, carefully “wakey wakey, sweetness.” you softly poked his cute plump cheek as you kissed the top of his head, his other cheek pressed against you chest.

you always woke him up slowly; gentle touches and light kisses, wanting to bring him up from dreamland calmly and for him to emerge from slumber comfortably – not startling at the sound of an annoying alarm and rising already stressed with a sense of urgency. it always gave you peace of mind, to drain armin's anxiety and little stresses in small ways like these; ensuring he rose from bed feeling secure and loved, and you believed it was very good for his own mind. phisical affection and words of affirmation were your mutual love languages so none of you ever failed to make the other feel safe and comforted, specially armin – your gentle reassurances and affection did wonders to his mental health.

you raked your nails through his back this time, and smiled fondly when you felt a shiver in his body and a sigh leave his lips. “honey? you with me?” you asked, whispering and not expecting a reply. instead resuming back to rubbing his back with your nails and caressing his hair and cheeks, both actions eliciting a hum and more pleased shivers from armin, who pressed his cheek more against you.

you brought the hand on his back up to cup his cheek, the one on his head still massaging his scalp. and then you proceeded to pepper sweet light kisses to his cheeks, forehead, eyelids, his red little nose and the corner of his mouth. armin uttered the tiniest of smiles. he was slowly starting to wake up, which made you smile wider. “i love you, baby boy...” his tiny smile grew a bit, “i love you so much it hurts.” you said ever so lovingly, knowing now he was hearing.

armin tried opening his eyes before closing them with a squint due to the brightness of the daylight. you absolutely marveled in the fact that armin looked like a newborn when waking up in certain mornings — one of the infinite things you loved about your boyfriend.

he kept the smile on when you kissed the spot between his eyebrows amidst soft giggles. “i love you more...” he managed to say slowly in his adorable morning voice. oh, his morning voice... you could go on about how perfect it was forever. it was raspy, whiny and breathy; melodic like an angel's, like he was.

“hi.” he greeted sweetly, bashfully; still wearing his sweet smile, unaware of your heart clenching in overwhelming love with him.

“hello there, sleepyhead.” you said. slowly he sat up, you followed while unconsciously squeezing armin's slumped form more to yourself – which soothed him greatly. “did you have a good sleep?”

his head found home in the crook of your neck, arms around your waist as you patiently awaited the sleepness to leave his organism, never ceasing your gentle caresses on his hair and body. armin melted in your embrace, your constant love and affection were always a balm to his anxiety and insecurities. the both of you now sat across one another in the middle of the bed surrounded in blankets and love – as two little angels tucked in their own fluffy cloud.

“yeah... very good. waking up's even better, though.” he said with that sweet, perfect signature smile of his.

“yeah?” kissing him slowly and lovingly, you felt him needily melt into your lips before parting. your foreheads now touching.

“yeah... ‘missed you so much yesterday... ‘m sorry i was already passed out when you came—” you cut him off with another kiss, which he returned gladly. god, he constantly wondered what good he did to ever deserve someone as perfect as you.

“don't be sorry. i was so happy to find you all snuggled and shrunken up in the bed, lovie. ‘had the time of my life spooning you after bundling us up in the covers.” you said as you cupped his cheeks and nuzzled his face smiling, kissing away the little tears gathered at the corner of his eyes and placing more small loving kisses in his lips before getting up.

armin was sitting at the edge of the bed still rubbing the remnants of tears and sleep from his eyes when you grabbed his face once more and fixed his adorable bedhead, straightening the ruffled strands back into place softly. you placed a last, long kiss in his forehead as his eyes closed in delight the whole time, the grateful smile never leaving his lips. “you're the best girl in the whole world, y'know that?” he slurred dreamily as you giggled and the two of you locked eyes, forehead to forehead again.

“pancakes?”

“pancakes.” he confirmed.

mornings with armin are an absolute different kind of slice of heaven, it truly was your very own little happy place.

PERFECT — 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐀. ⋅ fem reader

❧summary: just one of you and armin's most precious memories. (this is a repost from my old account).

❧warnings: just pure fluff <3.

❧word c.: 822

armin would often nudge you in the early morning hours, asking softly if you were already awake. when you answered him an unsaid yes through a smile and a hum, although with your closed eyes, you could literally feel him silently beaming excitedly at your side of the bed.

“c’mon baby...” you can hear the smile in his perfect voice and feel his ever so soft lips against your eyelids. you immediately smiled upon opening your eyes to the sight of him in the clear dim-grey dawn light, your very own angel made flesh.

“let's go.” he whispered against your cheek. “yeah...” you imediately remembered your little plans for today when you saw his sweet smile, slowly getting up and stretching. “just gonna put on some warmer clothes.” you rasped between tiny kisses to his jaw, making him softly squirm playfully at your touch.

and that was exactly what you did, lazily throwing on a hoodie over your pajama and not really caring about your appearance, because after all, you were hanging with your boyfriend. the one person that had seen you in every emotional state there was, from happy to absolutely depressed. the one person that was there for you all the time, every time.

and the moment you put on your shoes and beanie, you already heard the quiet crack on the door of your shared room. smiling, you silently opened the door; and you were greeted again by the soft smile of your beloved boyfriend, armin. like you, he was still wearing his pajamas with a hoodie thrown over and was waiting for you outside.

“you ready?”, he asked as if you weren’t already closing the door behind you. as an answer, you turned around and took his warm hand in yours which immediately held onto you tightly. when looking at his face, you could make out a light dust of pink on his cheeks. you chuckled quietly. almost one year dating and he still became flustered by the smallest things.

“you’re cute”, you said, more to yourself than to the boy standing in front of you. “i am?”, he asked confused. “let’s go pretty boy, you wanna see the sunrise or not?”, you ignored his question and began walking down the floor, pulling the now even more flustered armin with you.

the way to your destination was comfortable. there wasn’t much talking which was completely fine with you. just being, existing next to each other was enough. the wind was cold, smelling like fresh snow. in the distance, you could hear the soft waves of the ocean. even though it still was dark outside, you could make out the angelic features of your boyfriend.

his blue eyes, beaming with excitement, his sweet little nose, taking deep breaths, savoring every ounce of the fresh morning air, and his beautiful lips, forming a content smile.

noticing you staring at him, armin squeezed your hand gently: “everything alright?” he asked. “yes, everything’s perfect”, you answered, smiling at him, eyes full of love.

a few minutes later, you were already running through the sand, both holding your sneakers in your hands, not caring about the coldness, about the birds you were scaring with your loud laughter. any outsider would smilingly shake their head at you both, childishly running to the water, hand in hand and seemingly forgetting that there was a whole world existing outside your little bubble.

coming to a halt just a bit before the waves could actually touch your naked feet, you just stayed there. looking at the sky colored in different shades of orange, listening to the calming sounds of the water.

but the beautiful sunset wasn’t the only thing you were admiring, no you were also looking at your boyfriend. especially the way he smiled widely, the way his eyes were shining so brightly, with pure admiration for the beauty of nature.

for the second time this day, armin noticed your gaze fixated on him. “what’s wrong?”, his wide smile got softer, more gentle as he looked you directly in the eyes. “nothing, just looking at you”, you answered truthfully while silently pulling him into a warm hug.

“i love you.” the boy chuckled softly. it was a pure, quiet laugh, not the one you did over a bad joke or to tease somebody. no, it was an honest and pure and gentle chuckle full of love and admiration. “i love you too.” it was barely a whisper, as soft as the cold breeze ruffling through your hair, only meant for you.

it was moments like this, where you just wanted to stay for the rest of your life. your boyfriend, your pretty boy, holding you tightly, head resting on your shoulder and arms laying around your waist, gently squeezing you to himself.

it was moments like this where you felt complete. moments like this where everything was perfect.

love, belle.

DUALITY — 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐀. ⋅ fem reader

❧summary: you and armin revelust in one another's bodies as he claims his birthday gift.

❧warnings: smut to fluff, established relationship, birthday sex, unprotected s*x, creampie, overstimulation.

imagine being fvcked by 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧 on his birthday, he absolutely ravaging your tight raw pvssy until you're full of his cvm and utterly exhausted, body and mind. goes without saying that was this duality of him you fell in love with, his capacity of fulfilling your every need – sating you, leaving you wanting for nothing while at the same time leaving you even more addicted to the delight that is armin arlert.

the next morning you're so sore and try to stand but you're simply unable to walk, and your fiancé is right there by your side with a glass of water and some painkillers; soothing you, kissing your plump rose cheeks, you both talking so intimately within the morning bliss and him thanking you for everything you've been to him this past year... he tells you what a good girl you were for him last night and that he loves you so much. you marvel in the utter duality that is Armin. not unbalanced; only just right. his perfection.

“i have to attend for some meetings soon, so i'm heading out now, alright? i drew you a bath and breakfast is waiting for you in the nightstand...” he kisses your lips once more and places a soft kiss on your nose. there's no place in the world where you'd rather be than here, right now. just you and him. the only two people in the world.

“okay...” you say softly, cupping his cheeks and keeping his face close to yours. he melts right into your touch, and when he starts peppering little kisses in your wrist, you actually fear suddenly combusting on the spot. how can he be so precious?

he holds your eyes in his for a few seconds and finally your lips seal in a final kiss before he goes. satiating, loving, warm. his lucky charm for the day. “i love you so, so much.” he says,

“i love you so much more, baby.” you say against his lips. slowly you part, his eyes still closed as if drawing in all the love you just shared, refreshing him anew. you rub your noses together, giggling quietly before he stands.

“i'll be back by noon. make sure you're all nice and pretty by the time i get back, i'm taking you to lunch on this new restaurant i reserved for us.” he says to you with a sweet smile and you can only think you couldn't be more sure and happy about the diamond ring on your finger. you are his and he is yours; just like you were always meant to be. just perfect.

yeah, 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧 𝐀𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐭 is such a concept...

love, belle.

𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓'𝐒 Name Meaning✨

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥summary: little analysis of my angel boy armin's name bc why not <3 (another armin appreciation post bc i just wanna praise this dreamboy sm more askhgsjkz🤧💗

↳ ᴀʀᴍɪɴ is a unique name of german origin, literally meaning “soldier” or “warrior”. It derived from the name Arminius, the chieftain of the ancient Germanic Cherusci tribe. Armin also means “whole”, “big”, “universal” and “entire” (from Old High German “ermen/irmin”).

The name is also appearently an ancient persian name meaning “Guardian of Persia” or “defender”, (from “آرمین/ârmin”).

ᴀʀʟᴇʀᴛ is a surname of Old German and English origins. the elements are arn, meaning 'eagle', and wald, meaning 'to rule'.

ɪsᴀʏᴀᴍᴀ on ᴀʀᴍɪɴ's name:

“I chose the name ᴀʀᴍɪɴ ᴀʀʟᴇʀᴛ because of the way it causes you to think of the word aluminum, and because it seemed like starting both names with the same letter would make it easier to remember.”

𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭. it's very light, almost unnoticeable since he has such good diction. however, spending quite a deal of quality time with your boyfriend made you fall even more in love with him over his every detail. it's arguably one of the things that enchanted you the most at the start of your relationship: the way his accent slightly thickened when he rambled excitedly about something he liked – or just talking rushedly in general – never failed to bring a smile to your face and hearts to your eyes.

everytime armin noticed your dreamy stare, he'd always nervously apologize for rambling again, his intrusive thoughts always telling him he might be boring you. “not at all, honey. i actually love hearing you talk about things you like.” you'd always tell him sincerely, smiling and cradling his hand in yours, giving his knuckles sweet kisses.

“o-oh, okay.” he'd say bashfully, a beaming smile playing on his soft lips. and it was true, listening to him talk was always so interesting, satisfying even. and not only for his appealing interests. you also never missed how attractive he sounded. only his voice was already enticing for itself; bright, soothing, a little breathy, and with the kind of timbre that soaked into your skin, melodic like only an angel's could be.

so when the faint accent mingled with his voice and tongue, it was beyond adorable to hear. i actually believe armin has a bit of a german ancestry through his grandfather and his perfect german fluency could be connected to it since he lived with his grandpa for a time. once when you asked him to read a text in the language for you, it was almost as if the words poured out of his mouth like pure chocolate. a simple thing as armin's voice in that language could send tingles to your deepest core. it was captivating, sultry almost.

also his accent mostly thickens with the extremes of his emotions – making him sometimes even slip a german word midsentence without noticing – it can go from extreme joy to annoyance. the first earning him dozens of kisses to his cheeks due to his surpassing cuteness... the latter, however, brings us to discuss a very important topic: frustrated armin cursing in german™... which in that case means it can earn him a effective and glorious kind of stress release, and you, well... let's say one of the most mindblowing sex experiences of your life.

i'll elaborate on the experience with expressive details on another day, meanwhile, enjoy this little brainrot.😋

by GIRLYBELLE.

𝑯𝑶𝑾 𝑻𝑯𝑬𝒀 𝑴𝑨𝑲𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑺𝑸𝑼𝑰𝑹𝑻

— Eren Jaeger, Armin Arlert, Jean Kirschtein, Reiner Braun, Levi Ackerman x f!reader

cw. squirting, full nelson, fingering, mirror sex, cunnilingus, doggy, nipple playing, daddy kink, mating press — rbs are appreciated — m.list

EREN JAEGER

“My cock is so good you’re going to make a mess” Eren whispers in your ear, your knees close to your cheeks as he hammers inside you, his cock so deep he kisses your cervix with every thrust of his hips.

Your cunt drips as you leap into his lap, your back attached to his hard chest as Eren holds you firmly by the hips filling you with every thrust, “play with your pretty clit” he gasps as he watches his cock disappear between your slick folds.

You quickly circle your nub, moaning his name as the release approaches. You feel it different, wetter and stronger than previous orgasms.

Your body relaxes and you slump on his chest, he smirks and begins to fuck you harder, your fingers are replaced by his that move rougher and faster, “come for me, angel” he says through clenched teeth as his cum begins to drip onto his shaft, “give it all to me, come on”.

You gush hard and his cock is forced out of your slick slit, “that’s it” Eren moans grabbing his cock and beginning to rub the head on your clit hitting it with light strokes to make you squirt some more as your cunt clenches around nothing and you babble nonsensically, “so good you’ve gone dumb” he teases, laying a kiss on top of your head.

Keep reading

armin who always lets you borrow his sweaters. he loves coming home to you curled up on the bed, looking all cozy in his clothes.

armin who can’t get over the way you wear his hoodies when you go out. some part of him loves it because it shows everyone else out there that you’re his, but he’ll never tell you that.

armin who encourages you to steal every last item of clothing in his closet, even if it means you take each and every one of his favorite shirts. to him, you look a million times better in them than he will ever look in them anyways.

armin who now catches himself buying clothes he thinks you would look cute in when shopping for himself.

Watcher - Stalker

(Armin x Reader) - Word Count: 2.2k

Creature: a person who harasses or persecutes someone with unwanted and obsessive attention

Warnings: Cunnilingus, Panty Raiding

Extra Notes: Happy Halloween Eve! One more day left!

You had never thought much about the boy who lived in the apartment next to yours. He always seemed to be out in the hallway whenever you were; running into you on your way to work, on your way out with friends, on your way to the store, he was always there. You had assumed he had the same schedule as you, coincidentally always in your way and always by your side.

You had become friends with the boy who lived in the apartment next to yours, Armin. He was really nice, and the both of you seemed to have a lot in common with each other. He has a brother - same as you, he was an English major in college - same as you, his favorite musicians are Taylor Swift and Lorde - strangely, same as you. It never bothered you how much you had in common with him, in fact you had never thought about it for longer than a minute before.

The excessive amounts of common interests between you and Armin had actually helped your friendship with him. When you first met him, he seemed standoffish, awkward, maybe even a little bit weird, but after finding out your shared interest in tv shows, suddenly he was a whole new person.

He’d even stop over at your door some nights when he had made too many leftovers of whatever he had made himself for dinner. He’d stay for conversation and to hear a review of the food he gave you. He’d step inside of your apartment, but never past the kitchen, only being able to view the other rooms. He never stayed longer than an hour, and you never felt yourself wishing he’d stay longer.

So, it was no surprise to you to hear a soft knock on the door and to find Armin on the other side. He held a familiar plate of food in one hand and a DVD in the other. You scanned the items and then looked up at him, your eyebrows slightly knitted together.

“What,” You asked Armin slowly, “What’s all of this for?”

Armin tilted his head at you, a small smile appearing on his lips, “No hello?”

“Hi, Armin.” You sighed. “Now, answer what all of this is?”

“Hi, and all of this is a movie night, and I brought you some curry. Now, can I come inside?”

You looked over your shoulder at your apartment. It was slightly dirty from the past few days of lazy nights after work. Your clothes were spewed about and you could even see some bras and panties lying on your living room floor right outside of the bedroom door. You knew they’d be far enough out of the way that Armin wouldn’t see them, so why the hell not?

Why not let him in? It’s just one movie night.

You shifted your body so you weren’t blocking your apartment from Armin anymore. You tilted your head towards the living room, and spoke one demanding sentence to your neighbor, a soft smile on your lips.

“Alright,” You said, “Come inside, and you better heat that food up for me while I start the movie.” Armin walked by you and into the kitchen, nodding in agreement to your request. “And, wait, what movie even is that?”

Armin turned around to you, standing beside the microwave. “27 Dresses, you told me you had never seen it before.”

“How did you remember that?” You furrowed your eyebrows deeply. “I said that months ago, I think I said that last Christmas even.”

Armin shrugged, “I have a good memory.”

You brushed his comment off, and the whole conversation in fact. You had to admit it was refreshing how nice Armin is to you; he always bring you food, he brings you gifts, he even brought you flowers in the past - he may have stopped once he realized how creeped out you were to see him on the other side of your door holding a full bouquet of flowers. But still, it was the thought that counts.

You always kind of assumed your neighbor had a little crush on you considering all that he’s done. You weren’t sure you felt the same, but you were sure that you liked his attention and the way he looked at you in the hallway when he ran into you. He looked at you like you were a sunset, you were bright and beautiful and a sight he doesn’t normally have the luxury of seeing.

Which isn’t entirely true considering he’s always in the hallway at the same time as you are.

You put the DVD into the disc drive of your laptop and plugged your laptop into the tv. You quickly skipped through the previews, not feeling particularly in the mood to sit through trailers of movies from before 2012. By the time you were done setting up the movie, Armin was already on the couch behind you, watching you as you bent over your laptop.

You felt a bit awkward by your neighbor’s curious eyes stuck on your body. He always seemed to stare a little too hard at your body, and you supposed being bent over right in front of him was like showing a dog a treat.

You rubbed your now sweaty hands against your sweatpants, trying to wipe away the nerves of having Armin inside of your apartment. You weren’t sure if these nerves were coming from being close to your neighbor because you’re afraid of him or because you’re attracted to him. Being around Armin was a mess of confusing feelings.

You walked around your coffee table and took a seat beside Armin on the couch. Once you were sitting, you noticed Armin scoot the tiniest bit closer to you. His knee pressed against your knee, and you could feel his eyes staring at the side of your face, but you chose to ignore him and watch the beginning of the movie instead. That was until ignoring him was no longer an option, he leaned in close and spoke to you over the dialogue of the movie.

“So,” Armin said, “I was at this new cafe the other day - it’s right up the street - I think you should give it a try sometime, it’s really good. I tried their blueberry crumble muffins, and it was fantastic.”

You turned to him, “Do you mean the cafe called The Big Wave?”

“Yes!”

“I went there the other day.” You turned your body towards your neighbor, now completely disregarding the movie on the screen. “I had the pumpkin muffin, but I was gonna try the blueberry one if they didn’t sell out before I got there!”

“That’s insane,” Armin said but there seemed to be some emotion absent in his voice, “I really wanted to try the pumpkin muffin too, but decided against it.” Armin glanced back at the tv, but then met your eyes once again. “Maybe sometime we could - if you wanted to, of course - we could go to the cafe together, and try each other’s muffins.”

Your eyebrows shot up, “Try what?”

You giggled as Armin’s face flushed with red and he shook his head frnatically, “Oh no no, I swear I didn’t mean it like that, oh my god.”

“It’s fine, Armin.” You smiled at him as you gently placed your hand on his knee. “I’d love to go to the cafe with you sometime-” There was a moment of silence before you grinned and spoke again- “and we can try each other’s muffins.”

Armin placed his hand on top of your own, attempting to show you physically how happy he was to be in your living room with you, and to have you sitting on the couch right beside him. You were both now completely ignoring the movie, just staring gracefully into each other’s eyes. You always sort of knew a moment like this would arise with your neighbor eventually, he gave you too much attention and you really liked basking in that attention. You were sure if you ever gave him the chance, you’d make him the happiest man on Earth by being his girlfriend, and you’d be constantly spoiled.

The whole relationship looked like a win-win situation from the outside.

“Armin,” You whispered, but he quickly interrupted whatever you were planning on saying by pressing his lips into your lips. You let him kiss you, and you even kissed him back slightly. It felt good to feel wanted and Armin made you feel entirely desired just by the way he tightened his grip on your hand, as if he were in disbelief that this was really happening - so much so that he had to hold onto you as proof, hoping you wouldn’t fade away into his imagination.

Armin moved his lips away from yours, resting his forehead against your own, “I’m so sorry, I- I shouldn’t have-”

“No,” You said while leaning your lips closer to his, “But, you can. You can kiss me, I want you to.”

Armin nodded slightly before leaning back into your shared kiss. He kissed you more passionately now, his lips parted and you even felt the gentle tickle of his soft tongue against your lips. Despite the thousands of times he had imagined kissing you, he never imagined you being so submissive to his touch. You let him do whatever he wanted with your lips and your body, you didn’t mind his hands groping your hips and chest.

“Can-” Armin whispered into your mouth- “Can I go down on you?” After the question was in the air, his face scrunched up with awkwardness. He shook his head gently, apologizing three times before you interrupted him.

“Sure.” You weren’t sure where these words were coming from. You never really felt any attraction towards your neighbor other than mentally accepting that he is conventionally attractive. He wasn’t even your type and his crush weirded you out more than it flattered you. But, to be honest, you haven’t had somebody on top of you in months and if this was your only option at the moment, then you were willing to make do with this opportunity.

You laid down for Armin, your head on the yellow decorative pillows on your couch. He sat between your legs as he smoothly pulled your sweatpants off of your legs. You thought he may explode seeing you in front of him like this, his face and neck was a concerning red color, you honestly weren’t sure he was even breathing at the moment.

Armin started at your knee and slowly kissed down your legs. You watched him curiously as he made his way down to your panties. It was ironic for you to see him like this, acting like these kisses were teasing you when you could tell they were just making him more needy.

Your neighbor left one soft kiss on your clit through your panties, and the sudden feeling caused your hips to jolt forward. He was proud of this, and continued, passionately and slightly rushed, but it felt good. You liked the way he made out with your clit through the fabric, but you honestly preferred it with your panties on the ground beside the couch.

It was like he knew nobody had ever done this for you before. After all of the hookups you brought home, all of the dates that ended here, not even one of them went down on you. And, even if they had, you weren’t sure they would’ve ever been this good at it, you were certain Armin must’ve done this for thousands of people considering how magical this felt for you.

You brought your hand to the back of Armin’s bright blonde hair, gripping onto the strands as he sucked on your clit. Choked sounds came from your mouth, and you weren’t completely sure if they were supposed to be moans or gasps - they were somewhere in between.

You weren’t surprised by how quickly Armin tongue had gotten you close to finishing. This feeling felt better than anything your own fingers had done to your body in the past, and you really hoped you could recreate someday with a toy. You felt as if you were floating when you tightened your fingers on Armin’s hair, trying to let him know you were close.

And, strangely enough, you could tell he knew. He didn’t need to hear you say it, he knew you were coming on his tongue. He continued the same move that had gotten you close until your body vibrated with pleasure. You groaned so loud, you thought maybe the people could hear you outside, even the people driving in their cars with their windows rolled up.

Armin and you didn’t speak much after the moment had passed. He said he didn’t want anything in return, and you didn’t cuddle him, but you did hold his hand gently under the blanket you shared. You had put your sweatpants back on once the movie’s credits were rolling and you put the remaining curry in the fridge as he gathered his things.

He left your apartment quickly, no kiss, one goodbye, and one hug - and then he was gone. The door shut behind him and you thought this would be the perfect moment to pick up some of your dirty clothes from the living room floor. You could’ve sworn your panties had landed beside the couch, but you decided maybe they had been kicked underneath. You decided not to investigate too hard, Armin always struck you as a weird guy but a panty snatcher was a bit too far, even for him.

If you knew the truth about him, you’d never want him back in your apartment again, you’d probably even move apartments as soon as humanly possible. But, losing that feeling that he gave you between your legs wasn’t worth it in your head, he could steal all of the panties he wanted from you just so long as he made you feel that good again.

My little headcanon about Armin is that he likes/doesn’t mind the smell of cigarettes. He finds it somehow familiar and kinda relaxing (?) His mother and his grandfather used to smoke, so he is used to it and wouldn’t mind if you do.

Well, it depends.

He would never like the fact that his partner is a smoker due to the harmful consequences of it. But he also makes it clear that it doesn’t bother him at all; the smoke and the slight scent of tobacco impregnated in your hair or clothes.

Is it bad that he thinks it’s a little sexy??

I know Armin hands look like this…

Imagine him nervously fidgeting with them, concentrated while playing with his own fingers.

Slim but strong, masculine but soft. Not exaggerated at all. With tedious nails.

He is so cute I’m IN LOVE.

The End of the world as we know it- Armin Arlert

Armin watches as a bloodbath of horror unfolds in front of him, the sounds of cries echoing the infinity of deaths that occur in less than an instant. Armin's chest swells with fear as his comrade's blood splatters like paint on a disgusting canvas of death. With Armin standing on the city's rooftops, he could see that this could be the last time he ever felt the air fill his lungs, the last time he could grasp the feeling of life before it was ripped away by the jaws of death.

Armin finally looks at the girl beside him as the steam gusts toss his hair around in the daylight. He noticed how her arms were lifeless at her side, her swords numbly clasped in her hands, long forgotten. He knew she was thinking the same thing he was;

“How are we going to get out of here alive?"

The thought causes Y/n’s hands to tremble. She couldn't imagine this being her final moment; her mind wouldn't let her. All she knew was that she was terrified and that she was paralyzed. She takes a hesitant breath.

“Y/n?”

As he glances up into her eyes, Armin's calm voice rises, a little sob escaping from the back of his throat. She cocks her head slightly, her gaze locked with Armin's cold blue ones, focusing on his words.

"I have something to say to you. I've never had the the words, or even the confidence, to say this to you before."

Armin takes a tentative step forward and reaches out to take herhand. He immediately observed a difference in the experience surrounding them when he joined their fingers together. The horrors he felt inside were contrasted by her warm, reassuring touch.

“So I'm just going to say it. I adore you. I've always admired you. Everything about you is unique. The way your eyes smile before your lips do, how you laugh at every stupid joke anyone tells you even if it's not funny, and, most importantly, how you have always comforted others even when you are in pain.”

Her vision became blurry as tears streamed down her cheeks after hearing Armin's confession.

"You're lovely, beautiful, and sweet. I don't know what life would be like without you, and I never want to find out. Y/n, I, I..."

Before Armin could finish his sentence, he felt Y/n’s lips brush against his. That kiss was the sweetness of passion, a million loving thoughts condensed into a single moment.

*********************

Hey! The writer here. This is my first official Armin one piece! I love this man sm omg.

REISS MENTAL ASYLUM / １２

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

powerless

１２

“G—Good morning, Erwin,” the assistant spoke in a gentle tone, gulping. He felt just like before— a trapped mice with no escape. He woke up this morning with nothing more but nervousness, fear and anxiety.

”Good morning,” the blond responded with no trouble, staring at him with his usual heavy gaze. As the poor assistant expected, bearing the dominant look wasn’t possible for him, as he preferred to look away in nervousness. Erwin narrowed his eyes by the evasion, but expected such by the same situation they were before, “I believe you know why I called you.”

The boy didn’t want to answer— he stayed late at night trying to figure out anything to take care of Reiner, but he barely protected Eren by whatever punishment he could have received that time. He couldn’t just leave them— It was against his morals, and he knew they didn’t really mean to hurt him like that. It was just... a mistake, something he had to take care of to do his job better. These things happened; it didn't have to be a big deal for him. But for whatever reason it was a huge deal to his coworkers every time something happened to him.

His thoughts were interrupted by Erwin’s voice calling his name, “I’m waiting for your answer,” it was clear he wasn’t happy either— there was no welcoming smile on his face, nothing that [Name] could feel comfort with. The same as before, unfortunately. [Name] knew Erwin wanted answers, something the assistant didn’t want to give. Both of them were visible tensed, one more visible than the other.

It’s not as if he could just lie. Erwin knew about everything beforehand anyway, and he believed telling a lie would be much worse than telling the truth. So, in a defeated, low voice, [name] answered. “...Yes.”

The reaction wasn't immediate. The blue-eyed man observed in such manner it made [name]'s body cringe. Whatever he wanted to find, it was enough to satisfy him. ”Good,” he leaned back on the chair, pleased by the assistant’s cooperation, “tell me what happened. Don’t lie this time, I would appreciate if you didn’t.”

Being under such harsh gaze didn’t make lying possible— it was as if Erwin was watching his every movement. [Name] couldn’t help himself and played with his hands nervously. He didn’t want to be under this interrogation again, but here he was. There had to be something else he could do to evade these situations, but none came to mind. He was stuck, and no miracle would help Reiner nor him out of this.

“Hmn,” [Name] began, playing with a part of his white coat. What could he say? ‘Well, Reiner choke me and almost kills a worker’? No way. “There... was a small problem going on yesterday...”

Blue eyes narrowed. ”Define small.”

[name] gulped. ”Uh... Mr. Braun lost control of himself, and... attacked me and another worker— but the situation was handled!” The assistant tried to finish such horrible statement with an awkward smile. That was the nicest way he could put it— it was the truth, really.

That only made the blond raise an eyebrow, amused by such answer. ”What did he do exactly?”

He cleared his throat. The blond really wanted to get detailed answers. ”He... uhm... strangled me and hit a guard...?” [Name] whispered as he tightened his grip on his coat, “but everything turned okay! So it’s fine!!” The assistant tried to show a careless smile, but the director obviously didn’t give in.

”No, it’s not,” Erwin firmly said, “show me the damage.”

That made [name] freeze. ”B—But—“

”Now.” Surprisingly, Erwin didn’t sound overly mad with the command, but his tone didn’t change it’s authority. [Name] couldn't do anything else but obey— what else could he do? Refuse? The assistant remembered how scary the man could be before. For some reason he seemed to hold back, but [name] know better than push his buttons. A scary Erwin was something [name] wanted to avoid, even now when Vincent told him many workers and patients began their 'irritation' period month.

The bruises quickly formed when he saw himself in the mirror this morning— they looked bad. His whole neck was covered in yellow, green and purple, and they did hurt when they were touched. He didn’t want anyone to see them, but he knew that was not possible. If they reacted they way they did back with the other incident, he didn't looked forward with these bruises. Even if he didn't want to accept it, he knew he was a bit scared about what was coming for his patients. 

With nothing else to say, he carefully pulled his turtle neck down, revealing the nasty bruises covering his neck. He timidly looked at Erwin, who eyes didn’t change. As blue eyes stared at the damage, [Name] tried his best to think about protecting his patient and not be afraid of the repercussions he was going to receive.

”M—Mr. Smith— I would like to ask you to not do anything to Reiner, please. He wasn’t in control of himself, and I’m sure he didn’t mean this to happen. I will—”

The blond quickly interrupted his useless statement. ”Rule #2: if a patient injures a worker, specially their doctor, they will get punishment as we see properly,” the blond spoke, “and as I can appreciate, his punishment is appropriate.”

[Name] shook his head as he spoke, not feeling well about how things were going. “B—But he can’t get punish because of things he can’t control! We are suppose to help them! Not harm them!”

It doesn’t seem Erwin likes what the assistant says, noticing his tensing shoulders and narrowed eyes as he hears such talk.

Erwin was infuriated. These guards were incapable of doing something so simple— so fucking simple. This punishment was something Erwin was going to see at first hand, but he couldn’t see any satisfaction coming out of it. Poor [Name] was already attacked— the damage was done and their incompetence was shown. Seeing that failure harming something as bright as his worker, only made him angry and irritated— this situation was annoying.

Something like that wasn’t going to happen ever again.

”[Name],” he spoke, standing up from his seat, towering him, “I care about your well being— I can’t just ignore what took place yesterday.”

”But—“

”I have not finished talking,” he states with authority, successfully shutting the assistant down with a mere look, “I can’t ignore it this time, nor I would ignore it in the future. This is a serious issue, and it will get resolved as they have always have.” It will. 

[name] pleaded. “But Reiner—“

He slowly approaches [Name], speaking in a firm tone. ”He will get punishment, even if you oppose against it.”

”Please, Erwin!”

Erwin closes his eyes, exhaling slowly. He couldn’t give in to the assistant’s sweet voice, even if he wanted to. He walked around him, as if he was playing. ”You do remember you have something to give me, hmn? After what happened with Jäger?”

”W–Well, but Reiner...”

The blond opens his eyes, trapping [Name] between his arms on the desk by the assistant's surprise. The action made the [hair color] haired flush— their proximity was so close he felt butterflies inside his stomach.

”You can’t just beg me to forgive everyone, [Name]. This is not how this place works,” If you payed me with something else I could reconsider it. “This is needed— it’s for your own protection and good, [Name]. We can’t let anybody doing whatever they want, not caring how many 'pleases' you give me.”

”...I don’t want him to get hurt for something he couldn’t control, Erwin...” [Name] knew this was defeat. Without meaning to, a pout formed on his lips as he fixed a depressive stare on the floor. 

”He knows very well what he does,” he smiled, softly taking a strand of [Name]’s hair, looking at the assistant with fake kindness, “he knows what happens when he does these things, [Name]. It’s not his first time.”

[name] looks at him with a tint of scarlet on his face, trying to put a brave expression. ”C—Can I know what kind of punishment that is?”

”Nothing out of the ordinary— just some kind of things not too harsh.” Why was he so... interested and caring? They were nobody— disgusting things nobody wanted. The doctors only worked here for the money, and no one gave a shit about them. Yes, maybe some 'doctors' came with the 'I can change this place' attitude at first, but they gave in, or just ended with an unlucky fate. But this assistant... was different. He could feel it— he acted as a nuisance, like the others initially were. His caring attitude irritated him: him talking about them with a bright smile was disgusting— just seeing this beautiful assistant preoccupied about those nuisances, was deplorable. 

With a last try, [name] stared at him with pleading eyes. ”Can I at least see it...?”

“Of course you can’t,” he let’s out an amused laugh, “I’m surprised by your dedication to your patients, [Name]. You surely are one of the few workers who try to protect them this much.” Why are you like this?

”It should be normal! I mean— they need help, that’s why I’m here for!” He frowns, “I just... can’t stand the idea of them getting hurt because of my incompetence...” 

”Punishment doesn’t happen because of you. It’s because of their actions, and they sure will know how to cooperate once you see them again. All of this is for your protection, [Name].”

”But I don’t need protection!” Erwin’s amused expression along with his slight touch on his bruises shuts him down, “t—this was just out of my possibilities! There won’t be a next time!!” In all honesty, those marks were embarrassing. They were proof of his horrible work at handling the situation, and he promised to himself that next time was going to flow better— he just needed to see them at first hand to understand the motives of the outbursts. That's what his work was anyway— why were they so... uninterested?

The blond smiled. ”Of course there won’t be. I won’t allow that,” he caressed [name]'s face as if he was a small dog looking for attention. The assistant's eyes semi closed, tensing under the touch. His face redden, and Erwin couldn't resist laughing by such view. He looked adorable. "You sure are something else, [name]. You can go now, thanks for your cooperation,"

As he gets free from the other's touch, [name] shakily whispers a thank you and a see you later before walking away sheepishly. Being touched like that by one of your bosses was something embarrassing— he felt like a dog! Even if he liked being praised by Erwin, he had to be careful to not confuse his real motivations. Liking your boss was unfortunate— [name] believed he was an impossible man, after all. Also, he was... intimidating when he wanted.

”Oh, and about your payment,” he speaks with a kinder smile, making [name] turn at him with a flushed face, “you haven’t forgotten, have you?”

[Name] can only shake his head, too ashamed to talk. Being under the blond's touch was something else— the assistant felt warm and nice, two dangerous things to feel inside this office and for your boss. He didn't feel in control of anything; he almost looked like a small cat being protected and toss around by everybody.

”Good,” he steps back with a smile, “what does a cup of coffee sounds?”

”...Uh?” [Name] blinks, looking at his boss, dumbfounded by the question.

”I know a nice place. Sometimes our workers go there in their free time— nice coffee, too,” he returns to his seat, a pleased expression on his face, “well, it’s not as if you can refuse the offer, hmn?” He spoke with playfulness— like a child who got what he wanted in the end. This opportunity was something he was waiting for, after all; to know more about his favorite worker; to get closer and establish a nice, warm, solid relationship between them. Small steps; [name] was a small kitten he needed to handle to make him understand.

”I—I guess not...” [Name] didn’t expect such offer— well, he didn’t imagine something else. At least he thanked his boss wasn’t a perverted man who took advantage of his workers— [Name] wouldn’t have bear the sight of Erwin being that corrupted. Sighing, he showed a small smile, less stressed than before, “that sounds nice,” Imagining a date with your boss was embarrassing— even more when he was the one in charge of the whole building. [name] didn't know what to expect from this whole ordeal; how should he act? what should he eat? Being around Erwin was embarrassing enough, so being that close to him as a date meant more stress to his poor mental health.

”Fine, then. How does tomorrow sounds?”

。。。。。。。。。。。。

When he went inside his office, he didn’t expect to see Zeke sitting there with a serene yet irritated look on his face. It seemed he was waiting for him, as he wasn’t particularly doing anything but stare at the door in utter silence. [name] wished he wasn't there yet, but he remembered today wasn’t his lucky day at all.

His stare relaxes a little as he sees his precious assistant coming inside. Leaning back on his chair, Zeke speaks with his usual tone, but something is clearly different. “Good morning, [Name].”

The assistant didn’t waste another minute in answering. ”G—Good morning!”

The doctor waits a moment before speaking again, observing [name] every move. ”I tried to look for you yesterday, but it seemed you... left early.”

Again, another interrogation... ”...I did, yes.”

Zeke narrowed his eyes. ”Any explanation as to why? Usually you don’t leave before saying your cutes good byes.”

[Name] doesn’t speak at first. Scratching his hand, he didn't know what to say exactly— he didn't want to talk about the situation, but he knew everybody would make him talk. He didn't like that at all, so he stayed in silence as he stared at the floor with a frown. He had enough of this with Erwin— speaking everything that happens to him is not pleasing, and even if he’s thankful by their worries he doesn’t really need them! ...not that much.

”Anyway— I know what happened yesterday. Actually, I think we all did,” he gets up, approaching [name], “show me.”

[Name] shakes his head. He doesn’t want to— he knew everyone will make their way to see the bruises, but the assistant doesn’t like the idea. Why does everyone wants to see his failures? It only made him feel annoyance and disappointment in himself.

”[Name],” Zeke says his name as if he was speaking to a child.

The assistant complies in the end— he knows better than pushing Zeke's buttons. Pulling his collar down in silence, he looks at the ground to not see what kind of look Zeke has. Good thing— it’s not that the blond is showing an angry expression, but his eyes turn cold as he examines the horrible marks on his assistant.

Merciless and barbaric are the only ways Zeke can think of Reiner’s actions. He already knows [Name] didn’t get his way on Erwin to forgive the warrior— it’s painfully obvious. It could be almost two weeks until they fade away, possibly three. 

At least he is somehow thankful [Name] is still here with him, and didn’t had the same fate others workers had. Who knows what would have happened.

"No matter how many times I tell you, you can't stay out of trouble," he speaks in annoyance, "I can't leave you alone at all, it seems,"

"This was just an accident, sir! Reiner wasn't in control of himself!"

"Of course he wasn't, and he'll never be," he pinches the bridge of his nose, "accident? he knew very well what he was doing— how can you be this blind? Or do you perhaps fake ignorance for some strange reason?"

"I'm not faking anything!" he accidentally raises his voice, clearly upset by how his boss was talking about their patient, "I care about him like I do with others! ...Why—Why does this have to be a big deal when I get hurt...?"

"Why? Because you are my assistant, [name]. And I won't allow someone like them hurting someone like you."

"...Like them? T-They are human just like me, sir," [name] spoke with a firm tone, "They need our help, and if I get hurt in the process of helping them, then it shouldn't be a big of a deal every time I do...!"

"You really don't get it, do you?" the blond was irritated. Annoyed, upset, angered— his assistant clearly was someone much different than anyone in this disgusting place, wasn't he? Caring? Help? This place was filled by corruptness and vileness— there was no real help here; there never was, "you won't change anything about them. They will remain the same, we are just here to help them stay out of the trouble they cause in the world, [name]. Simple as that,"

It felt as if [name]'s hopes and dreams were shattered once for all. Hearing those horrible words coming out of his' boss mouth was awful and upsetting. [name] did believe in change; why nobody could see that? This place was like a Limbo to the patients; never going out? Taking their freedom forever? Yes, they caused horrible things, but [name] believed in change. He was here to help. "...I can help... I know I can,"

Stubborn as always. If he didn't like him that much, Zeke would have already throw him into the upper floors for his flesh to be teared away into pieces. But no, that wasn't allowed to happen— his assistant had to be with him at all costs, even if he was this obstinate. In fact, Zeke believed in change too. "You sure are a magnet of trouble— do you think being just a beginner, without any acknowledge, can change anything? This place is not a playground. And, if you don't remember, you were hired to be my assistant, not an independent doctor doing whatever he wants. So you go by my orders, even if you like them or not. So, if I order you something, you will do what I say. Understood?"

[name] tightly gripped his hands, embarrassed and ashamed. It was obvious he didn't like being scolded nor have conflict with his superiors; but no matter what, it seemed he always caused trouble for his boss.

"I said, understood?"

"...Yes, sir..." he answered with a sad tone, staring at the floor with a frown.

Gritting his teeth, the doctor didn't like one a bit how this was going. But this punch of reality was needed, even if it hurt his poor, little assistant's feelings. He had to see it was pointless— they were a waste of their time, and nobody could change who they really were. Sighing, the blond caressed a strand of [name]'s hair, "do you think I like scolding you? You are a capable adult— why do I need to be in your toes every time I leave you alone? You should know better than this— they are not children."

Hearing Zeke made [name] so ashamed— he felt as if he was a child again. "I—I didn't mean this to happen... I just wanted to help, sir..." He bit his lower lip, feeling horrible about the whole thing. He didn't feel comfort with Zeke's touch, knowing very well how he truly thought.

"You have to do as I say, kätzchen," he sighs, "I can't follow you everywhere to clean your mess— you are getting me in trouble with Erwin. You don't want that, do you?"

"O—Of course not, Zeke! That's not what I intent by any means!"

"Doesn't look like it, boy," Zeke sighs, leaving [name]'s hair to pass a hand trough his face, "alright— now that this is out of the way, I must tell you Reiner will face consequences, even if you don't want to. I guess Erwin spoke to you?"

[name] nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line.

"Very well. That will be all in the matter, then—"

”W-Wait! I just wish to know if he’s alright? I hit him really hard...” [Name] was horribly worried about Reiner. If that hit knocked him out, then it was obviously an injury, “I—I didn’t mean to hurt him like that! Really!”

Zeke lets out a snort. “You think a simple chair would kill that beast? Haven’t you imagined the things he has gone trough?”

”H—He’s not a beast! He’s a person!” [Name] frowned, staring at Zeke with a glint of sadness and desperation in his eyes. No matter what other people said about them, he would always think different about his patients, “you shouldn’t talk about them like that, sir— they feel just like us,”

Zeke sighs. “No matter how many times I tell you, you won’t understand. It seems you need to see something going horribly to trust me they have no future,” narrowing his eyes, the man sighed deeply in exasperation.

”They do have one! We just have to guide them, sir! But I can handle all of that,” [Name] shows a toothy smile, “that’s why I’m here!!”

This talk had made [name] open his eyes with who he worked with. It seemed not only Zeke, but others thought like him— he couldn't deny the eyes of his coworkers when he talked about his patients; the pity stares thrown at him. And then, there was Hanji's comments said back then; about them being 'her experiments'. Remembering these small things, made [name] realize he was the only one trying to solve something unsolvable.

It seemed this place wasn't what he imagined.

"What's with that face, kätzchen?"

[Name] didn't know if playing dumb was a good thing. "Uh— nothing! Just remembered I didn't bring my lunch again..."

Zeke narrowed his eyes at his assistant, clearly unsure about his explanation. [name]'s lips pressed in a thin line, trying to not see him in the eyes.

In the end, the doctor scratched his ear with a boring look.

"...What a clumsy assistant I have."

。。。。。。。。。。。。

"As always, I'm behind the glass observing everything. Whatever may happen the guards are outside," Zeke explained once more, giving a dark look at the familiar guard outside the room— Vincent, who tried to suppress a smirk by the usual stares he got lately.

"Okay! No need to worry, everything will be fine!" [name] smiled proudly and nodded at Vincent as he received a wink in return, before entering the room. The last thing he heard behind him was a 'sure thing' from Zeke.

“Hello, Connie!” [name]'s cheerful voice echoed trough the room, making him cringe a little by the dead silence the room was filled in.

”I heard what happened,” said Connie, with what seemed a mocky smile plastered on his face. He looked like a child who knew your dirty secret and was ready to blackmail.

[Name] blinks, before sitting down. ”You did?” It seemed not only workers gossiped, but patients did too. News sure fly fast here.

”Eren and now Reiner? It’s surprising how you are still alive,” the patient rest the side of his face on his palm, looking at the assistant with a smirk, "maybe you are cursed,"

”That’s... comforting,” [name] knew those encounters were dangerous. He didn't want to believe it at first, but seeing how things worked here... it sure was something that made him unable to sleep at night. Quite terrifying. It felt as if you saw your friendly neighbor in the news because he was a serial killer for three years. He shivered.

”I thought he would break you like a twig! I don’t want to say that I'm amazed, because you haven’t seen anything yet.”

[Name] was curious about the experiences inside the asylum— realizing he didn’t know almost anything about where he was working, maybe some small questions drifting out of the main topic wouldn’t be that bad.

”Could you explain how it can get worse, Connie?”

”Much worse, obviously. Hadn’t they said anything to you?” He laughs, “useless much?”

“...Haven’t heard a single thing. Would you mind?” [Name] tits his head, showing a small smile. He knew Zeke would be commenting something about this question later.

The boy gets quiet, not interested in the topic anymore. "Nope, since it doesn't have to do anything with me," he chuckles, "let's talk about something better— me!"

...I wish to hear about what he had to say about it. But since Zeke is hearing everything, it seems I can’t do much about it. “I agree— today is for the two of us, as planned,” the assistant smiles slightly, “how are we feeling today? Has something happened lately?”

”I’m doing as great as always,” he shows a toothy smile, “the other day I won an uno game! Jean was a dumbass that couldn’t beat me— such a bad loser!” 

Connie’s laugh resonates the room. “Uhu hu— experienced uno player? That sounds dangerous! I would love to play with all of you some time. I’m sure you have fun games,”

Connie shrugs, “Meh— there’s always bad losers. One time Reiner threw a chair at Armin and he got a concussion because of it,” he grins as he remembers, “but— ohoho! Eren didn’t let him go! Reiner got the beating of his life, doc! Reiner is even scared of Eren since then! Can you believe such big guy scared of that crazy emo dude? Incredible, if you ask me!”

...Beating? “That doesn’t sound good— but please, Connie, none of you are crazy so don’t use such words to describe others. Don’t perceive others the way you don’t want to be perceived, okay?”

”Blah, Blah, don’t care. They don’t matter to me anyways— not worth the time,” he rolls his eyes, clearly displeased by the assistant’s words.

“Since they are not worth the time I give them, you are not, either?”

”...Ah? What are you saying?” Connie’s eyes narrowed, clearly unhappy about whatever nonsense [Name] was saying. 

”We all are equal, so we should get the same respect— that’s the most important thing as humans, don’t you think?”

”It seems you haven’t gotten something clear, doctor,” Connie rest his back on the chair, staring at [Name] with a blank, yet uncomfortable stare, “the thing is, we are not human anymore. We lost that right a long time ago.”

[Name] frowns. “That’s not true— you are human. You feel just like anybody; you think, you act, you live, don’t you? So, if someday told you were not human anymore that is a horrible lie.”

“Seems you are not aware. That’s surprising,” he yawns, his expression clearing, “I must say you are interesting. Even when you know everything I can do, you behave like a hero! But surprise, there were plenty before you! So don’t feel special.”

”That’s not what I intent.”

”—Anyways! The other day I played pocker with the others. Guess who won? Of course—”

”—Armin?”

Connie blinks dumbfounded, clearly irritated by the interruption. Nevertheless, he quickly answers with a glare. ”...?! Of course fucking not! It was me!”

For a couple of seconds, Connie resembled a child— a kid who pouted when things didn’t go his way. But [Name] saw trough that, and those furious eyes resembled a beast rumbling in the shadows, scared of being caught. [name] knew winning was a facade— he didn't win the games.

"Armin is a nobody— he doesn't matter at all. He doesn't even do anything! Useless as always," he looks irritated, "I don't know how Eren can even be in the same room with that good for nothing..."

[Name] blinks in a frown, displeased by the rude statement. Hearing such degradation of someone was not a good thing to hear, and [name] never felt comfortable hearing gossip back then. Unfortunately, he had to act professionally and not get controlled by his emotions. This place was different than in high school.

"...Perhaps you see yourself the way you see others," [name] whispered more to himself than for Connie, writing down on his clipboard. Of course, this didn't go unnoticed by the patient. Who frowned and narrowed his eyes at the assistant.

"As if! What the fuck are you talking about?!"

"Just thinking loudly, Mr. Springer. Maybe change will come when you acknowledge who you are, and accept that mistakes happen..." he hums, "just like you didn't win the game— that's alright, you know? Sometimes—"

"Shut the fuck up! Shut up!" the patient slammed his hands on the table, standing up with a furious expression plastered on his face. He gritted his teeth as he glared at the assistant like an animal; clearly, he was furious, "I didn't lose that stupid game! What the hell are you talking about!"

”Perhaps we should play a game to test your high skill, don't you think?" [name] tilted his head, liking his own idea. He surely had a plan for the game he was interested to evaluate.

Hearing this, Connie crossed his arm as he rested on the back of the chair. Narrowing his eyes, the patient tapped his forearm with his index finger, trying to observe any anomaly the assistant could have. It seemed games were one of his interests, as his furious demeanor disappeared quickly. "Why so sudden?"

"Well... sometimes is nice to play with someone with experience, don't you think? I love uno, so I don't see the problem,"

The patient considered the idea. To [Name], it didn’t seem done by any harm— the card game could be an experience to know more about Connie before doing anything. After a cold, heavy stare, Connie answered with a careless, mocking tone. "...Alright. Prepare to lose, you stupid fuck."

[name] chuckled, amused. "That's nice. But first, I have to ask permission to my superiors to play. Then, our next session will focus on some games."

"Blah, blah. Hey!" Connie suddenly turned his head at the glass, surprising [name] by the outburst. "you sick useless piece of shit! You WILL approve this game, if not, you are a FUCKER!"

That's totally not helping, Connie... Well, now the permission was going to be harder to get. "Maybe if we ask in another way we can get the green light."

"They don't deserve to be talked another way, doc. You reeaaaally are a dumb idiot to believe in these fuckers," Connie grinned at [name]'s stupidity. He lift up the middle finger at Zeke, who [name] could feel the stare he must have been giving, "well, looks like you are just a clueless rat... that's just funnier,"

At first, [Name] could have believed his word because of the thought of Connie despising the treatment— something somehow normal. An usual reason to shit talk your doctors… nevertheless, this time was different. Zeke’s talk made him realize doctor weren’t benevolent— weren’t understanding. [Name] didn’t know if all of them where like this; but even Erwin didn’t have compassion for anybody.

Knowing he was being monitored just as Connie, [Name] didn’t say a thing about the manner. It wasn’t as if he could gossip with his patients, anyway.

The next talks weren’t as much of impactful— just the usual “how do you feel?”, “what activities help you?”, “how is the medicine helping you?” Of course, Connie did little to nothing to answer them, but the last question. He only stated they made him sleepier than usual, even causing him some pain in his hands. [Name] noted this with bolder letters, not trying to forget to change them if possible. First, an examination and diagnosis would be needed on his part if authorized. Then, an investigation about what could pill would be better for him without damaging his health would be enough. If everything went the way he wanted, anyways.

"Looks like it's your time to be the dog," Connie said as he heard a bell ringing, "surprisingly you weren't such an boring shit like last time."

"I appreciate your compliments, Mr. Springer,"

"I will applaud you if you get here next time— who knows who else wants to know you."

Before [name] could reply, a tapping on the other side of the glass made him say his goodbyes and leave.

。。。。。。。。。。。。

"Interesting session you just had," was the first thing Zeke could let out after witnessing such session. It was only time [name] wanted to do "schooling" to them. Idiotic. As he walked trough the hall with the guards behind, he snorted by how ridiculous this assistant was.

"Mr. Zeke, please forgive Connie! He just talks without thinking, so please understand him!" [name] tried to reason, embarrassed by the behavior as tried to keep up with his boss.

Zeke exhaled from his nose, perhaps irritated by the Mister, or the excuses his assistant was giving. "Connie, loves to denigrate others. Understanding is not a choice," there was a twitch on his eye, "and good luck asking me for permission for your little experiment,"

"Sir..." [name]'s face instantly saddened, not expecting such harsh act. "It's to know Connie better! Please, your permission is important to help him!”

"I have told you before. You won't change a thing, even if you do more than a hundred experiments,"

"I won't think negatively— it's their future. How can they be better if I don’t even have hope with what I do? It’s unbelievable!” [Name] shook his head, “this is not what I signed for… this is inhumane!”

“Perhaps it’s time to accept the real world, kätzchen,” he scratched his ear, “going around playing hero is not a good idea,”

[Name] could not feel exasperation at such thing— he was disappointed. “I’m not playing hero! I’m just trying to do my job, which is suppose to help others… Just, please, Mister! Give me the permission and you will see I can help them!”

Zeke only stopped his walking to stare at him with a clouded look. As if he was examining— observing. There was silence, the only source of sound being the chatter of others doctors in the hall. [Name]’s body felt heavy; his hands turned into fists by the anxiety and slight fear his mind and body fell in. A simple stare leaving him unable to breathe— he didn’t want to know how his bad side could look like. How did these men shut him off with a simple look?

Then, the blond turned to normal in a blink. Humming, Zeke rearranged his glasses carelessly, answering with a bored tone. “I’ll allow it,” before [Name] could celebrate his green light, Zeke interrupted him with his hand, “but with one small condition,”

[name] blinked dumbfounded. “…yes?”

”When you met Erwin, I want you to say something to him,” [name] couldn't see his eyes clearly— the lights of the hall reflecting on his glasses prevented him from doing so.

”…okay—! I’m listening!”

”You will say, straight to the eye, without stutter…” There was a smirk, missing it could have been easy if he wasn't paying close attention.

”Hmn?”

  ”Fuck off.”

.

.

.

”Ok—?! WHAT?!” [Name] stared horrified, “I can’t do that! Absolutely not! You will kill me!”

”You will do that, no objections. Also, I will know if you don’t do it. I assure you,” There seemed to be a ghost of a cruel smile on his face.

”I can’t do that, Zeke! That’s atrocious! Can’t I do something else!?” [name] could feel his whole body tense by just imagining doing such atrocious and embarrassing thing. Was he back to school without knowing? Who even where these people?

The doctor couldn't stop his chuckle, amused by the situation. If his dear assistant was going to be asking for permission, the he had the perfect excuse to make him do the things he wanted. After all, if such patients were so dear to him, then making him do stupid things as this was making him understand how much was worth wasting his time in such persons. ”Not this time. Perhaps I will think of something else next time,”

”Next time?! I don’t want to think about next time…” [name] facepalmed, already feeling sick. This... was not good. At all. He was only asking for something so simple as playing cards— why was Zeke making him a fool of himself in front of Erwin? With what purpose? He was only going to dig his own grave if this was current occurrence. "I don't understand, why would you make me do something like that?"

"Why not? This place needs fun every once in a while,"

"By making me the fool? That's not fair," [name] wasn't any pleased by being the one ruining his chances here.

"Perhaps I can be more forgiving next time," he didn't look at him, "sorry, kätzchen. This one is a selfish one of mine,"

"Not fair..." [name] could only frown at the ground, feeling betrayed and humiliated already. This wasn't funny for him at all— being used for such things was low. Just because he wanted to treat his patients like human beings? Uncalled for!

"This place isn't," the blond put his hands in his pockets, "but don't look too sad, [name]. Remember you are doing this for your patients— isn't that worth it?"

Those words only made him see trough Zeke's real intentions— of why he was being used as a joke tool. To use him to do such stupid, unfunny thing. Just because he wanted to play nice. [name] didn't want to hate— it was too much. But this... was unfair. Why was he being such a cruel person? If this was the easy 'condition', [name] wasn't ready of what was coming next. The thought made him frown in disgust.

[name] wants to reply, but then a mixture of whimper and yell is heard, along with meaningless shouting. The assistant looks back only to see an horrifying scene— a patient stabbing a doctor countless of times without any mercy. There's a fierce expression on his face— anger. And was he... smiling? 

[Name]'s whole body froze in shock by the sight. Crimson dirtying the white walls and ground of the hall, dirtying the people around— there are many shouts, cries and gasps. But [name] can only stand there, tensed as a rock, with terrified eyes opened like plates staring at the uncontrollable patient stabbing over and over who seemed to be a doctor. He couldn't even see where was he even stabbed— blood covered almost all of his body.

There was laughter— patients were around.

Guards who were already around ran to the patient, but it seemed he wasn't done doing a scene. Finishing his last act, he looked at everyone like an animal, until finishing his contest with [name]. The assistant flinched by meeting such... vile, dark stare. They were void of life, yet he could assure the man was living the best time of his life. Pupils dilated, a toothy grin, shaking body... what was making him alive was the adrenaline.

Then, he trow something— what he had on his hand. [Name] could only stare in horror.

W—What did he...?

"Look out!" Without doubt or thoughts in his mind, Vincent wrapped his arms around [name] and forced both of them on the ground, missing the flying knife just in time. The object graved on the wall with a loud and sharp sound, luckily not injuring anybody with how quickly and hard  was thrown.

[name]'s heart beats fast while he tightly closed his eyes, frightened. He gripped Vincent's clothes tightly, not sure if moving was a right choice. This time, the poor assistant doesn't know what to do; what to think. He leaves to Vincent that task.

Another guard immediately took the patient by the wrists and pinned him down, receiving yells and a fight from him. The unknown patient trashed around, trying to get free from the hold, thankfully not succeeding.

"How in THE FUCK does a patient got a knife?!" the blond furiously exclaimed, "first of all— who does this thing belongs to?"

Ignoring Zeke's yells, Vincent sat, guiding [name] to do so. The frightened assistant opened his eyes, shifting his stare to the wall where the knife resided. Then, to the doctor who was stabbed, laying on the floor. [name] could only hear his whimpers and grunts. There was so much blood... he felt sick on his stomach, almost wanting to gag. 

If it wasn't for Vincent, he too would be on the floor, agonizing.

"You okay?" Vincent softly asked, grabbing [name]'s face with his hands, looking worried. [Name] just nodded, out of it. The guard tried to avert [Name]’s attention from the horrible scene— there was a lot of blood on the floor surrounding the doctor. Vincent could feel the assistant’s terror, and as best as he could he tried to calm him down with a softer voice, “that’s nice— okay? Let’s get up— can you stand?”

As [Name] tried to, the terror he felt made him frozen in fear. He couldn’t move properly— his hands and legs were shaking horribly. Vincent, seeing his bad state, helped him stand by wrapping an arm around him tightly. "Breathe. Like this," the guard made an example, making [name] to look at him,"let's do it together, okay? One, two...."

The assistant tried to do his best, shakily exhaling and inhaling. He wasn't doing a good job, but Vincent seemed satisfied with it. "Good, [name], very good. Don't stop, ok? Let’s go to the infirmary to check on you,” he talked with such smile it made [name] calm a little bit. It was reassuring and Vincent felt so... safe. [name] couldn't stop himself and grabbed part of Vincent's uniform, closing the gap between them. He smelled like coffee, somehow working for [name] to escape the stench of blood filling the hall.

"[name]!" Zeke came into the picture, looking... irritated? "how are you? Let's go to the infirmary to properly check on you,"

Vincent didn't mean to, but moved [name] a little bit behind him, away from Zeke. “I can get him there, doctor.”

“Didn’t ask you to. Do you know first auxiliary? Are you a doctor? A nurse? I think not.” He glared, “I will get [Name], so if you may—“

[name] interrupted with a low, shaky voice, barely audible. “I–I think... I prefer V-Vincent getting me there, M—Mr. Jäger...”

“What?” Zeke narrowed his eyes, not liking this at all.

“He—He—“ [Name] tried to speak, “his company will help m–me a–a lot, right now...” he held Vincent’s clothes tightly, clearly not wanting to let go.

Zeke clenched his jaw, his unsatisfaction clearly showing. His assistant, his precious assistant, preferred being at the dirty hands of this man? Why? 

[Name] did notice the terrifying glare Zeke was giving, because he tried to hide like a child from his mother’s lectures behind Vincent’s back. The guard could feel the tension and the murderous aura the blond doctor showed, and the best thing to do, was leaving.

“Well then, Dr. [Last Name] and I will leave to the infirmary. Thanks for your preoccupation, but I will notify you of Dr. [Last Name] state until we finish.” Vincent carefully choose his words and spoke in a serious tone, not giving in under Zeke’s murderous glare. The guard knew this sudden change wasn’t just for disobeying orders— the doctor made it clear he disliked discipline, but there was a feeling on Vincent’s guts that said this was much more different.

Even when they were already leaving, Vincent could feel the glare on his back. It was until they were out of sight he sighed in relief.

“S–Sorry for getting you into trouble...” [name] didn't look at him, but at the floor.

“Everything for you, darling.” He kissed his forehead, showing his childish grin.

Back at the hall, Zeke could only watch in disgust as that guard left with what was his assistant. Dark thoughts filled his mind, not stopping any of it. Hatred is what he feels for that man— disgust is another. How and when did [name] got close to him? And under his nose...? Hmn.

Useless things need to be disposed.

"SAWNEY!" A familiar female voice shouted, followed with a shaky one. Zeke could not get more annoyed now realizing who this thing belonged to.

"W-Wait, Dr. Hanji!" Hanji's assistant, Moblit, quickly followed her behind. His expression of horror formed at the sight of what happened.

"Oh my! What did you do, my Sawney...?" Hanji spoke with a fake, sad voice. Kneeling beside him, she tried to approach him but the guards, as they looked at her in disgust, prevented her touch. "Let me hold my baby! He didn't mean to!"

The blond doctor stared at such display in annoyance— a normal occurrence with this crazy idiot when her things went out of control.

He needed a cigarette. 

But, as he was leaving, an authoritarian, harsh voice silence the hall instantly. A simple command that made all but him shiver and close their mouths like children who know what they did wrong. Zeke was amused, but not surprised by the sudden appearance of Erwin— after all, he was always observing.

He almost pity Hanji for what was coming for her. Almost.

Before leaving, a quick look at Erwin's passive aggressive expression was enough to almost make him snort, if he wasn't aware of his own set of feelings overcoming his mind.

  "Hanji Zoë. In my office right now."

。。。。。。。。。。。。

"Okay! It seems everything's in order!" Vincent showed a small smile, putting away a semi-wet napkin already dirtied in red. Cleaning away some blood that got on [name]'s face was nicely done, but unfortunately, some of it got on his coat. He hoped [name] didn't notice, but he knew the assistant was aware, "how are you feeling?"

Taking his time, [name] wasn't sure of what to say. Witnessing an attack like that wasn't everyday occurrence for him— something simple as yelling from his patients shook him enough, but watching with his own eyes how someone was deprived of life like that... it marked him. Just remembering how disgusting the place smelled, the amount of blood approaching his feet was enough to make him hastily grab the small trash can besides him and vomit. He felt Vincent's hand pat his back in an attempt of comfort, and he was thankful. 

Vincent hurriedly took a cup of water and gave it to him when [name] finished. The assistant couldn't met his gaze because of his embarrassment, but took it nevertheless. After washing his mouth the best he could, he tried to not see the mess he did to whoever that trash can belonged to. Feeling Vincent's hands on his shoulders, gently caressing him, made him feel a bit better about the whole thing tough— at least he wasn't alone.

"...Thank you," [name] said with a gruffly voice, sighing tiredly.

Nightmares were guaranteed tonight.

"It's nothing," Vincent let out a huff, "you have the right to get it all out, okay? Witnessing such thing is hard, so don't be hard on yourself,"

[name] knew, but he couldn't stop himself from asking such absurd question. "Is he...?"

Looked like Vincent didn't want to answer that question— his lips pressed in a thin line, a frown forming on his face. "...Most likely. That was... a lot," even if he had to see outburst in a daily basis, that didn't mean death was present in all of them. Seeing someone taking the life out of someone else in such rage... it always made Vincent afraid, "hopefully you don't have to... witness something like that again. To think a patient had a knife... I have no clue on how did he got his hands on that,"

[name] didn't either. Weren't they watched everyday at every hour? He didn't feel that safe anymore— perhaps paranoia would be a long companion in the next few weeks.

"What you did... thank you," [name] squeezed the guard's hand, his shoulders touching. [name] was a person who needed touch when he was in a bad state mentally— just the act of holding hands and staying at each other side was enough to calm him down. He liked Vincent, his presence did help him stay his cool, and he didn't say rude things about his wrong doings. "If it weren't for you I... m-maybe—!"

"Hey, hey," he hold his hand, caressing it with his thumb, "I was there to protect you, wasn't I? Didn't I promised you? I know you are scared, but remember I'm always looking out for you. Nothing will ever happen to you while I'm here, alright? It's valid to be unsure and afraid, but be sure I will be there."

Hearing such words, [name] let out a big sigh he didn't realize he was holding. It was reassuring hearing him promise something like that in a place like this— it made him feel... safe. Unconsciously, [name] rested his head on Vincent's shoulder. Closing his eyes, he grabbed tightly the guard's hand, as if fearing he would go. 

The guard squeezed back with a redden face. He looked away in embarrassment by the proximity, but didn't say anything.

A comfortable silence meet the room— but just like always, nothing was ever quiet here.

”[Name].” A voice is present, and both males look at the door to see Mike and Levi, who are staring intently at both of them with cryptic eyes. 

“H—Hi, Mike, Levi!” [name] quickly let go of Vincent's hands and left his side slightly by moving a bit further away. Vincent felt a bit upset by that, but understood. He also stood up without a word, leaving a bit of space between all of them.

There's silence. The ravenette approaches him, levi takes his chin and raises it slightly, wanting to see the harsh marks more clearly. They are greenish and purplish— and he can see how [Name] tenses at the slightest movement on his neck. 

Anger is not the word he can describe his emotions— rage? fury? He doesn’t know, but what he knows is that seeing those marks is surely infuriating. They looked disgusting, yet pleasing. He only wanted to hear [name] quiver and whimper by his touch— to remind him of his incompetence and naivety.

“What a deja vù,” Mike says— It certainly was. The only difference was the gravity of the attack, which was quite big. He asks worriedly, “do you feel alright?”

The assistant didn’t waste time in responding. “Of course I am!!! I’m totally fine, it was just a big scare!” Laughing nervously, [Name] tries to ease the tension; but not even him takes comfort in his words. His body tensed, his hands shook.

”Of course you are,” Levi says without believing him, touching a little bit the bruises. The assistant jumps by the pain and gasps, and the guard doesn’t keep his mouth shut by the cruel act.

”Hey! Please be careful, Mr. Ackerman,” Vincent doesn’t hold himself and speaks without thinking, yanking [Name] to him with a protector stance, “Dr. [Last Name] is not alright, even if he says so. Touching his bruises is not needed,”

Levi narrows his eyes at him, glaring in disgust, “you think I don’t know that, filthy guard? We all know this inept assistant can’t stop himself in going into trouble— and lying about something we all can see is fucking idiotic.”

”I believe Dr. [Last Name] doesn't want to hear such things in his state, Mr. Ackerman. Please, have empathy.”

[name] gets up, trying to ease the whole thing. ”N—No—! It’s okay, Vincent. It’s— it’s the truth. I’m being useless by going into trouble. I should know how to handle these things, I’m sorry.”

It was then that Levi caught a glimpse of red on his coat. How disgusting. "Looks like you get into whatever mess you can," he sent a short look at the blood, crossing his arms. Maybe it was because there were more people in the room, maybe it was his repulsion, but he did stopped himself from giving [name] a piece of his mind. He wanted to say how unable he was of taking care of himself; how utterly weak he would always be, "always needing someone to clean your shit. How disappointing," 

"And what now? A guard sticking his nose where it doesn't belong?" he sent a glare to Vincent, who didn't have a problem holding the stare contest, "know your place. You are here to work, so get out and work, before I take this shitty job away from you."

He is really angry... [name] thought. He gave a slow nod at Vincent, knowing he wouldn't leave easily if he didn't respond. Nevertheless, he knew the guard wasn't satisfied at all, noticing how annoyed he looked.

"Understood, sir. Have a nice day," he said before leaving, almost talking trough his teeth. [Name] felt bad being the one causing all of this, but he really couldn't do anything.

"That isn't going to come out easily," Mike signaled the stains, looking a them with a frown. [name] stared at them too, lost in thought.

"...Yeah, I know," well, he was already imagining himself trying to wash this tonight. Good thing he wasn't that close, but the mere thought of someone's else blood on his clothes made him ill again. "Wish me luck, tough," he showed a weak smile, trying to ease himself.

Levi just stared with a frown, not understanding his pathetic display. He looked pitiful— his hands shook, he was pale as fuck, his hair had become a mess, his coat had blood, his bruises made him look like he was out of his mind, and yet, that pathetic, miserable smile was enough to annoy him. That stupid smile that made him look like... his usual idiotic careless self. What made him, him. 

"You look like you are going to faint," Mike plainly stated, making [name] sit down once again. "I think you should go home already— I will notify Erwin so there's no need to worry."

"I-It's alright, I don't feel that bad!" just the idea of leaving job unfinished made him feel even worse. He had work to do! Even if he saw someone d...die... "I-I can just stop wearing my coat for t-today—" the images of the doctor on the ground surrounded by thick blood didn't make him feel less ill. He covered his mouth as he retched, breathing a bit erratically to stop himself of throwing up again. Mike's hand guided his head to look at the ceiling, saying it was not good to look down.

"Yeah, I don't think so," he touched [name]'s forehead, humming, "I think you are going to get sick, [name]."

"S-Sick...? But I can't! I have too much to do! I refuse to be sick!!!"

"Not something you have a say, I'm afraid."

"I refuse, Mike!!!"

"What a brat, talking to his elders like that," Levi could not just silence himself at such childish demeanor. 

"Ah—!! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it that way!!"

The air seemed to lighten a bit, thankfully. Mike chuckled, loving this side of [name]. It was a nice change around this place— he looked pretty cute, too. A smile he wanted to protect. "Anyways, jokes aside, you really don't look good. And I know you don't feel good, so for the best you should call it a day."

"Give me that," Levi gestured the coat in disgust, "I will take care of it. I know you will not do shit to those stains, and you will look disgusting if your lazy ass leave them. So give that shit to me and for my sake, will clean that."

"W-What?! You can't do that!" [name] shook his head with a redden face, "I--I can do it, sir! T-There's no—"

"I didn't ask you, brat. Give it to me before I tore it out of you," with this, [name] couldn't just say no. He obeyed, like a good boy. Thankfully it wasn't that bad, but the stains were noticeable, so they needed to be gone. Of course, someone like [name] didn't know how to clean the blood out of fabrics, but Levi did. "And yes, you indeed look like shit."

"But how can I just leave...?"

"There's a front door."

"Hahaha... not funny..."

"I believe Levi here will accompany you there, since I'm going to notify Erwin of your absence for today and tomorrow. So don't bash your head because of that," Mike stated, getting some strands off of [name]'s face, gently caressing his forehead, "and I believe you are not strong enough right now to walk by yourself. So give yourself some care and obey."

"Nice. More unnecessary work, fucking tree."

。。。。。。。。。。。。

While the two walked trough the building, [name] could not stop feeling bad about making Levi do things he shouldn't be doing in the first place. He looked down in misery, pouting. "I'm sorry, sir... I didn't mean this to happen."

Levi just stared ahead with his neutral yet annoyed face. "Me neither,"

As they finally got to the entrance, [name] showed an apologetic smile. "Well, thank you for your help! We will see—"

"What the hell are you rambling about?" Levi narrowed his eyes, "you think you are capable of walking in this shitty state? I thought you could think with that head of yours, but actually I didn't."

[name] blinked, confused. "Uh?"

"I'm giving you a ride, brat. What else?" Levi stated as if was obvious, letting out a low I'm not that kind of bastard. He opened the doors to leave, [name] following behind him.

This time [name] felt even worse. "B-But that's just too much! I'm fine to walk! Really!"

"I'm just going to ignore your rambling and get to the car. I advice you to do the same." He said with a harsh tone, done with the whole ordeal. "or should I wait for you to faint and get you inside,"

"I... I'm sorry you have to do all of this,"

"Christ, you are making it sound like this is hell," he raised an eyebrow at this, "making a big deal out of this... ridiculous. Just get in the car."

But [name] didn't. He stood there, looking at the ground in shame. His whole day was already ruined to begin with, but this was the icing on the cake. He felt utterly worthless, and relying on others is what made him more upset. He didn't mean this, really.

Nevertheless, even if Levi wanted to say he was being a dumbass, he could see how upsetting [name] was getting. He looked like he was going to cry, for fuck sake. Sighing, he prepared his next words to finish this whole ordeal, relaxing his shoulders."Look," [name] slightly raised his head, looking like a child, "I'm doing this because I want to. Like hell I'm going to be following someone's else orders, even less if they are from that ugly tree. You do look like shit, and I'm not..." he stopped himself, unsure, but kept going, "I'm not going to be satisfied until I sent you home myself, alright? So stop giving me that st-- that look, and get in the damn car."

[name] blinked, once again. This was... one of the first time Levi was being honest with him— and he did noticed how he held himself back to appear less... harsh. Sometimes, [name] believed Levi saw him as a nuisance. But this... made him think otherwise. Perhaps Levi only said rude things to him but didn't mean them that much. Nevertheless, he felt lighter with this confession, or to be precise, he felt a bit happier. His smile was genuine this time, Levi could tell. "...Okay."

This brat... making me say shit like this. Thankfully, the ride was filled with comfortable silence— [name] fell asleep quickly, and Levi was content enough.

So cute...

e m p t y / 9

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter nine  — new mornings

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

They lived two years in Trost, but it took them one year to live on their own. Even with Lydia's protests —and Jean protested in secret, too—, Beatrice didn't want to be the burden she felt she was, and with her savings of the bread and pastries she did in the local bakery, it was enough for them to move to a house near the gates. Beatrice and [Name] couldn't stop thanking Lydia in opening the door of her home, taking them in as if they were family. [Name]'s mom had told him Lydia was a great friend in her past, before she moved to Shinganshina.

Even if the old memories of his past hometown tormented him in some way, along with his friends, he somehow enjoyed living in Trost. It was a nice place— Lydia was just as nice as Beatrice and Jean was a good friend. Before he knew it, their friendship went deeper and deeper, becoming really close. Jean always worried about [Name]'s headaches, every time trying to help in anything he could along with Lydia. The woman bought plenty of herbs with her own money to try and calm his migraines, and Beatrice nor [Name] could stop thanking her for it.

It become frequent how Jean couldn't stop himself and caress [Name]'s hair every headache— his eyes became softer when he frowned. It had become a reflex, somehow. [Name] didn’t mind— in fact, the teenager didn’t care at all about getting touchy. He liked taking Jean’s hand and play with it when they were bored sitting under a tree, or just lay his head on Jean’s legs to sleep.

At first it felt weird, but as Jean could feel butterflies in his stomach, he suspected what was happening. He got nervous when [Name] so normally and carelessly touched him like nothing, as if it was something anyone would do. Jean now believed Beatrice when she said [Name] was a social inept— all of what he was doing felt like they were lovers, and he didn’t even know it. Every time he did it, Jean blushed and averted looking at the boy, sometimes even evading touching him.

Jean knew very well what his feelings were but refused to believe it, it was obvious. Even his' and [Name]'s mom did. It was difficult to bear with it, even more when [Name] was oblivious about it. Why wasn't him more upfront? These couple years have made him more brutally honest than before, so why he couldn't confess to him? Was it fear? Maybe for rejection. Jean knew [Name] didn't know or wasn't interested in these topics— he had tried to question the boy before, but nothing came out of it. [Name] was uninterested, or maybe he have never felt something like that before, so he couldn't speak about it as if he knew.

__ __ __ __ __

“So [Name]...”

”Hmn?”

”Have you ever liked someone?”

”Liked...?” He looks to the sky, “well, yeah.”

”Really? Who?” He tried his best to sound uninterested about the topic.

”You,” Jean’s face blushed at that, but before he could get his hopes up [Name] followed with, “my friends from my hometown too... specially Armin.” And with that Jean went to the beginning, frowning with a twitch on his eye.

”not that type of liking! I mean If you have liked someone as in... love." He blushed, embarrassed by such thing to say.

“Like the books our moms read?” And he did sometimes too. Beatrice loved reading, specially romance novels. Armin and Beatrice had taught him reading books would be a good thing for learning about emotions, in some way. It could have sounded stupid— how someone didn't know what they feel? But [Name] didn't. He felt like a vessel still— these past experiences have helped a lot to grow his sentimental side, but there was more to know.

”Weird example, but yeah, like these cheesy stories.”

”hmn...” he had never thought about it— well, he liked Mr. Erwin a lot, but not as in love. “Don’t think so.” Maybe Beatrice? She says 'I love you' a lot to him, but he doesn't know if it's that particular form of love Jean is saying. "What about you?"

"W-Well— of course," he tried to sound 'cool' if that helped, "I've going out with some girls and—"

"That's not true. You are always with me." [Name] looks at him with a raised brow, obviously not believing his lie. Jean's facade faltered, but the teenager tried to change the attention to another topic.

"A-Anyways!" He laughed nervously, "have you ever kissed somebody?! BECAUSE I HAVE!"

"Kissed..." He blinked, deep in thought. [Name] didn't remember kissing anybody, but the sudden feeling of doing it is there. He touches his lips, wondering. "I don't think so."

Jean gulped, trying to play it off, "would you... like to try it?" He knew very well what he was doing— [Name] was unaware of these things, but it wasn't as if he was taking advances out of him, right? It was just... something for him to learn.

The amnesiac teenager blinks, staring at Jean. According to these books, a kiss meant something special, a sign of love. [Name] didn't know what love certainly was, so maybe trying kissing Jean would make something different? "Okay."

"O-Okay?! I-I mean—! A-Alright," Jean gulped, blushing. His heartbeat is erratic— he didn't actually believe [Name] agreed of something like this. Good thing they are in the forest near the walls— it would have been too embarrassing being looking at. Both of them kneeled in front of each other, [Name] looking at him with his head tilted. Jean averted his gaze, trying to calm himself.

He sighs, ready. Getting near [Name]'s face, his hands shake. The amnesiac teenagers gets near too, but Jean freezes. His eyes widen, not knowing what to do. Surprisingly, [Name] is the one who initiates the kiss— his hand supporting on the ground to get nearer Jean as he closes his eyes. It's clearly an inexperience kiss— but Jean's heart felt like it was going to explode. It's such a gentle and soft gesture, a curious action. Before he knows it, [Name] is pulling away with a humn. Jean is completely red, he is happy about what just happened, but he knows he can't get his hopes up with [Name], remembering how he usually is.

Nobody talks— [Name] tilts his head, touching his lips while Jean is still shocked by the kiss. What did [Name] feel? Did he like it? Did he realize something?

"S-So, what do you think?"

"I don't know."

"W-What?"

"It's... different, but I don't feel something else about it," Jean's heart crashes as he hears these words. He had a little bit of hope something would change, but it seems it didn't. "You?"

The taller teenager sighs, clenching his jaw. "Same." His excitement and happiness fade away as quickly as they appeared. Maybe this would be the first and last time he took advantage of [Name] like this— a kiss was something hurtful but wonderful at the same time. 'Love' surely hurt a lot.

__ __ __ __ __

Love was something unknown for him, and for now, he didn't look interested by it. Jean hoped sometime he would have taken a more liking to him after that kiss, but Jean knew that was unlikely. So he hided his feelings, in hope of someday he could show them when the time was right. But obviously he took advances of [Name]'s touchy behavior— when he laid his head on Jean's lap, he played with [Name]'s hair. Or sometimes when the other rested his head on his shoulder, Jean would rest his head on the other's, smelling his hair.

This situation was annoying.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

Beatrice lived in fear of hearing those words— living the day he would leave to chase his dream. She didn't want to appear sad in front of her boy, so his anguish and sadness were showed with Lydia. The woman tried to comfort Beatrice as best as she could— but both of them knew their boys would leave them soon.

But it was time, and Beatrice knew from the start it was going to come sooner nor later. She always hoped he could change his mind, but his mind was set the first time he heard about the military. But she couldn't stop him, could she? She couldn't stop her husband nor son, and look what happened.

"Mom..." He spoke, stopping eating. Hearing such tone made Beatrice's heart hurt— that was it, "I'm going to enlist to the military."

She didn't say a word for some minutes, worrying [Name] by it. Beatrice had never got silenced over anything, but he knew he touched a sensible spot. She relieved some memories about her husband and a son he didn't know anything about— they left, enlisted to the survey corps and as many expected, they died in combat. It was painful and difficult to accept such thing again, but Beatrice can't forever hold a bird who wants to be free.

"Is that what you really want?" She hold her tears and her voice from breaking, but [Name] saw trough the facade easily. It was the second time felt something like heartbreak, seeing her like this. He stood up from his seat and keeled besides her, hugging her waist and resting his head on her legs. She caressed his hair, not holding the tears anymore. [Name] shut his eyes, some tears slipping and wetting Beatrice's dress.

"Yes."

"I see."

They stayed like that for a long time.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

It was pretty difficult accepting he was going to leave. Surprisingly, Jean was going to enlist too, but he had told his mother he was going to join the Military Police, and not the Survey Corps like [Name].

When Jean knew where [Name] was going to join in the end, he almost had a heart attack. He couldn't believe something so idiotic, reckless. Was he insane? But, most importantly, didn't he care they were going to... separate if that happened? They wouldn't see each other again. Jean was mad, and even when he voiced his worries to his friend he didn't listen.

"But what are you thinking?! It's the survey corps!" He tried to reason.

"Yeah, I know it's the survey corps. That's why I will join them." He stated, not bothered by Jean's yelling. The taller boy only got railed up by such behavior— didn't he care?

"But you could die, do you know that?" He desperately tries to talk a sense to him, "many of them don't come back!"

"I know, Jean. But... that's what I have to do." [Name] knew he had to join them— after all, they found him outside these walls. His answer had to be out there, somewhere.

"What you have to do?" He snorted, "aren't you thinking about Beatrice?" About me?

"Jean, I will join the survey corps. It was decided since the beginning."

"You don't care about anyone, do you?!" Jean couldn't stop his anger— [Name] was cruel when he wanted, even if he didn't mind to. He sighs, passing his hand trough his hair exasperatedly, "whatever." He left without turning back, he was angry and felt betrayed. Jean knew if he stayed any longer he would say things he didn't mean and turn the situation worse,

[Name] frowned, clearly sad about how things turned out. His hand tried to reach Jean, who disappeared without even sparing a last glance at him. He felt something heavy on his chest, and the same static noise overcome his ears. He did something wrong— but this is what he wants, and he can't turn back from his decision. But why is he feeling so sad? Just as he lost Eren, Mikasa and Armin? Was it so important to Jean where he wanted to go? It was his life— not his'. Was he being cruel? Just thinking about begin mistaken caused another headache to appear.

  P̵̣̫̱̮̼̲͔̰͈͙̈́̈̎̏̈́͠ī̷̞̥͍̙̓̈́̊͘t̷̛͕̝̓͐̓̋̄͑̎͋̉̊̈́̚̚ĩ̶͚̲͙̞̮̺͓̟͖͙̯̊̽͜͝f̴̡̺̬̟̭͙͕̙͚̯̟̹̱̹̩͐̈́̄̈͂̈́̈́͊̎̾̊̓̒͘ȗ̸̝̜͔̍̎̚ͅl̸̛̥͈̘̆̽̎͊̊͂͑̎͜ͅ.̵̧̢̢̛̮̘̤̭̳͔̈͒͗͒̔̍̇̈́̂͝͝͠͝ͅ ̸̨̦͔͙̫̙͉̝̭̣̮̫̤̪̎́̈̊̂̈́̓̆̋͝͝ͅD̶̛͖̹̣̲̘̫̭͕͔̊͒̾̃͊̓̊̀͂͊̕͝͠ǒ̶̧̧̢͉̳͉͔̪̻̠̗̲̜̒̄̀͜ͅn̶̮̻̮͍͔͚̲̝̮̪̖͇̠͂͌̀͌͂'̷̢̨̥̖̟̘̟̖̗̪̜̌̈́̋̃ͅͅt̶͒͐͊̈́̄̐̉̓͋̽̊̓͜͠ ̸̼͉̘͚̈́͛l̵̨͕͓̂͗̓̾̑̈́͠͠ͅị̷̛̭̹̺̂̌̇̊̐̀̍̎̂̋̔͘͠ş̶͕͔͈͎̻͖̪̀̏͊̌ţ̶̢̜͔̪̱͍͈̞̭̯͎͑̐͌͊̾͜͝ȩ̴̛̥̺̄̿̀͐͑͒̓̈́̋̄͋n̸̨̠͐̔͋͗̿͒͐ ̸̠͇̻͕̗͎̇̂̌̐̒̈́̕͝͝t̶͔̤̮͆͊̃͝o̵̡̪̦̙̲͆̈̂̑͜ͅ ̶̼̙̤͆͌͠ą̶̛͍͚̦͇͓̥̯̟͑̿̐̇̈́̈́̔̌̊ͅn̴̢̩̺̪̂̒̆͛̄̇̂ŷ̴̢̡̢̛̳͕̹̝̲̖̻̇͗͒͐̓͗̒͌̚ͅǫ̴̮͈̤̖͆̈́͑̃͆̾̌̿̐́͋̊͠n̴̠̬̫̪͐̈͑̇͌̅̎̓̑ȇ̶̡͇́̆̈́.̷̢̣̩̖̫͖͕̊͌̓̍͛̈́̌̂̓͘

But he's my friend...

Jean stopped talking with [Name] after that. The amnesiac teenager never felt so much sadness before— after all, Jean was his close friend. Beatrice could only guess what happened between them, and she couldn't possibly blame Jean. Seeing how [Name] stayed in his room all day made her worried— the boy was always under his blankets, and when he came down to eat, he was wrapped around his blankets still. Even if he looked so adorable like that, Beatrice couldn't feel happy when his expression screamed absolute sadness. She knew the best was for the two to talk it out, but seeing Jean nor [Name] tried to fix this, she decided to do a small step— talk to Jean. She have talked to [Name], but the boy didn't even wanted to leave to room.

When Beatrice talked to Lydia, the woman had realized something was wrong the moment her son returned so angry. He had come straight to his room and closed the door with such force that it was heard everywhere in the house. But he didn't shut himself in his room too much, thankfully.

When Jean came downstairs and saw Beatrice, he frowned and clenched his jaw. The woman could see his distress and maybe embarrassment— maybe he thought she would lecture him or something.

"Hello Jean," Beatrice smiled, hearing a small 'hi' from the boy as he sat down with her, "I know you know why I'm here for, right? But don't worry, I'm not mad at you."

Jean didn't spoke, rather, he looked down as he crossed his arms.

"[Name] is sorry about what happened— it's not that he doesn't care, it's more that... he really wants to know what's outside. He cares a lot about you, you know? But you know how he is with his feelings."

The boy doesn't talk. Rather, he sighs heavily, trying to think. If [Name] was just a neighbor he barely knew, he couldn't care less, but he wasn't. It was his friend, the person he liked— his life. Why he couldn't just stay with him?

"It's stupid," Jean said, "joining the survey corps? Is he insane?"

She chuckled, "I know. But you can't trap a bird forever, Jean. It will eventually fly away when they see the opportunity— that's how [Name] is. He has his mind set, and he will not change any time soon, even if the world tells him otherwise."

"Aren't you... angry?" Jean asked, frowning. Was she okay with the fact [Name] was going to join the survey corps? And possibly die?

She smiled sadly, looking down, "Not angry... just sad," she looks at Jean, "you can't decide or force someone to decide what to do with their life, can you? Just look at it in reverse— if [Name] tried to reason with you to join the branch you don't want to be, would you? After your mind is set?"

He fell into silence. But it was different, right? The Military Police was safe. The Survey Corps wasn't— both of them could live together, even. Nevertheless, imagining [Name] bugging him to join together would only irritate him. Averting Beatrice's gaze, he crossed his arms in defeat,

"I can't make him, can I?"

"Not even me." She smiles, but not a happy one. It's empty, and Jean can see trough it, "oh, and also..." She laughs, "you should do something with these feelings of yours."

The teenager's face becomes red at hearing the call out— he frowns, trying to ignore his blush. "W-What feelings?! I'm mad at him! Not- Not in..."

"Love?" She chuckles, "just remember one day you two won't be together. Time doesn't wait, so be fast."

He groans, rubbing his neck. Beatrice claps, widening her eyes with a devilish grin.

"And also! Who knows who will take interest of him! My boy has become reaaaally handsome, Jean. I'll say act fast!"

"M-Miss Beatrice!"

"I'm just saying, dear!"

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

The amnesiac boy was miserable. Jean didn't want to talk to him, and [Name] didn't insist after that. If he didn't want to talk, then that was fine. But [Name] couldn't stop feeling so... sad. If it was Eren who fought with, his younger self wouldn't have cared as much as he did now. Since when did he change? Well, maybe it wasn't if he changed or not— he liked Jean. He enjoyed being with him and he helped him with his headaches, and more importantly, his voice wasn't annoying. [Name] grunted, hiding his face under the blankets.

[Name] didn't answer when he heard a knock on his door— he didn’t even paid attention of who the footsteps belonged to. Not until the person spoke, recognizing Jean.

”[Name]? Are you there?”

Jean? [Name] turned at the door, still wrapped around his blankets. He blinked,

"[Name]...?"

The amnesiac boy quietly got up from his bed, slightly opening the door just a little gap, his tired eyes prying outside the room to see Jean. The other jumped in surprise by the squeak the door made, along with seeing the unusual dull eyes looking at him.

"Can I... come in?" He gulped as [Name] fully opened the door for him to enter, closing it after. The amnesiac boy sit down on his bed, still covered in blankets. Honestly, Jean thought he looked adorable like this— but that wasn't important right now!

There was silence. Surprisingly, [Name] was the one who spoke first.

"I don't want you to be mad at me..." He looked down, playing with his fingers. His plain expression was the same, but his tone of voice changed. It was like a hurting child.

Jean sighed heavily, rubbing his neck. He didn't like being mad with him either— but he was justified, wasn't he? Maybe not but... he didn't like the idea of joining the survey corps one a bit. He wouldn't, that wasn't for him at all.

"Me neither," He sat down besides [Name], who didn't look at him still. "It's just... I don't want you to... die."

"I won't." He looked at Jean with a different expression he couldn't pin point, "I promise."

"Yeah yeah..." He didn't believe it— but knew [Name] was strong. Even if he still didn't accept hat he wanted to do, maybe, just maybe he could change his decision in the future, right? "I'm not mad, okay?" He looked at him with a clear frown in his face. Jean wasn't happy, neither angry— just... sad about not getting his way this time.

Silently, [Name] wrapped him around his blankets too, sharing them. "Joining branches will take time, so let's enjoy our time together." The corner of his mouth slightly raised, taking Jean's hand. He blushed clearly— how couldn't he? "Let's lay down."

Obeying, the two boys laid together on the bed, looking at each other. Jean averted looking at [Name] with a blush, while the other looked thoughtful. Can he hear my heartbeat??? Fuckfuckfuck—

"I haven't told you the reason why I want to join." That gained Jean's interest, forgetting about his little problem, "but don't tell anyone, alright?"

Then, he explained his first memory, who and how they found him and how he met Beatrice. Seeing it like this Jean understood, but wasn't he scared after seeing the titans? He never understood how the titans didn't scare him off when they took over Shinganshina— he admired him in secret, but he wouldn't say that out loud. Even so, it interested him where [Name] was from— that was why his eyes were different from everyone's? But outside the walls... that was impossible. No one lived outside— only titans.

"So that's why you want to go..." He closed his eyes, blushing, "just because I stopped being mad doesn't mean I still like the idea, o-okay?!"

The sound provided from the amnesiac boy surprised him— [Name] was chuckling. It was the first time hearing him like this. After all, him reacting like this was something rare. "Okay," he answered as he closed his eyes, "let's sleep."

Jean looked at [Name], still blushing. He was so... handsome but pretty at the same time. He looked so peaceful and gentle like this. Jean would never ever in his life would say that he always watched the boy in secret when they shared the bed together when they were younger, along with many secrets and memories he will hold everyday. He didn't want him to go someday— the thought only made him angry. This wasn't fair.

"And also! Who knows who will take interest of him!"

Remembering Beatrice's words made him almost grunt, covering his face. He wouldn't allow that! ...Would he?

  B̵̡̨̹̰̝̙̱͎͖̙̙̯͖̬̿̿̀̀̎̊͌͝ḙ̵̡͓͕̙͙̳͚̬̠͐͐̓̌̉̒͘͝͝ì̸̧̟̝̟̥̠̺̦̫̯͈͗̌̈́̒͂͑͆̄̈́̀̓͜͠n̴̨̡̪̗̜̮͇̳̮̟̼̗͇͒̋̊ͅͅg̴̥͇̼̹̮̻̼̬͉̺̲̝͐͊̏͋͑͜ ̵̢̺͑̃̈́̈́̈́͆̅͂̚̚̚ẅ̶̻̲͕͚͖̕ͅį̶̯͓͆͌̕͜͝t̷̜͉͎̫̘̝̠̣̰̲͕̫͓́̎͂̎h̷̺̼͕͔̹̪̮̜͚̯͐̎̉̎͐̇̽͒̃͝ͅ ̴͔̲̻̺̙̉̀̅̃̿̊͒̋̎̓͆̚̚̚ơ̸͎̜̜̣͊̔̂͊̉̌́͆͆̑̓͗t̶̘͇̟̦̩̞̰͉̱̰̖̜̱͕̐̆͋̒̈́͆͋͝͠͠͝ͅh̴͚͐͊̊̌̇ͅͅȩ̸̳̤̪̖̹͈̥͔̩̠̥̅̄̔̅̈́͋̓̒̚͝͝r̸͖͙̖͓̆s̴̨͙͔̦͙̃͑̅̈́͒̏̇͆̈́̾͊͝ ̸͓̹̫͇̺̭͉̙͗͜ȏ̵̺̘̱̮̜̟̗ņ̴̛̳̖̮̝̒̈́͋̽̌̅͊͊̚͝͠͠͝ͅl̵͍̻̜̖͑̋̿̃̈́͝ͅy̷̢͎͉͙̖͔͍̜͉͓̩̣̼̅̏͘ ̸̨̧̳̱̆̽̉̐͝w̴̧͚̗͎͍̳̣͇̣͍͍̜̣̔̒̅ǐ̷̤̦̰̫̱̃͌̈ͅl̷̡͚̰͔̼̩̦͖̬̼͍͖͗̒̐͝l̶̡̙̳͖̘̤͋̑̈́̈́̅̓̈́́̄̃̋͠ ̶̬̻͉͉̞̞͙̝̺͖̂ͅc̷̢̣͙̝̞̻̬͔͙̕ǎ̶̡̘̝̥̳̪̮͔̫̒́̆̈̀̐̏̑̕͝͠u̸͓͛̈́̌̑̐̅̒̆̿͆̋s̷̗̙̙̩̰̮̤̤̼̥̪͓̝̰̎̍̒̿͆̏͆̓̍̚͝ͅe̸͖͈̺͓̪̽͌ ̴̛͖̲͓̟̳͍̤̍͌̅̔̒̽̍̽͘̚h̵̢̡͚̺̩̻̉͂̓ī̴͔͇̙̝̓̓̿̐͗̈́̒͝m̴̥̘̱̦͚̹̱̳̻͂̂͗̏̾͌̑̿̆̂̃̄́̅͜ ̸̢̨̢̛̼͎͈̫̲̗̬̺̞̞̅̍͑̈́̍̚ͅš̴̨̝̻͙̘͇̞̠͕̠͎̫̐̈́̌͘͠͝͠͠u̷͚̝̗̜͉͔̪̙̣̪͓̦̝̲͗̐́̿̈́͋́͠f̸̢͙͈̲̘̙͈̱̈̾͒̊̕f̶̧͖̬̻͖͙̥̫̆̾͆́͒̀́̽̀̇̇̾ͅḙ̷̢̡͍͕̟͉͓̮̲̰͕̙͓̋̂̆͠ŗ̷̛̬͓̼̲͍̻̰̥̜̙̺̓̂̇͑̆̄̕͘͝͝͠į̴̜̬̹̥̘͚̘͉̲͎̜̆̈́͑̓n̷̥̏g̷̻̳̯̞̬͚̘̯̿̿.̴̧̹͖̱͔̙͙̳̣̾̂̕ͅ

L̴͚̗̄̂͐̏͐̆̓̕ĕ̶̡̤̳̠̹̪̹̰͔͕̑̏͌̈́ͅt̵̢̳͓͈̃̏̈́͗͗̌̈̄̀̓̄̆ ̶̭̹̦͕̞͈̲̙̙̺̈́̓̋͌̒̎̂̅̀̚̕͝͠ͅţ̴̧̡̱̥̲̥̗̲̮͇̜̬̙̳̈̏̍̾͋̽̎̆̈́̋̎̐̕͝ẖ̸̡̛̳̙̞̪̫̫̮̺͇̳͇͔̞͌̾͑̍̒̚̚͘͝͝e̸̼͐̈͋̑̀̅͐͆̓̕͠ ̶̨͖̯͇͖͓͍͓̩̍̌͂̅̈́b̷̢͈́͂͒̂̍̂̈́̍̎̏̉͊͆͘ơ̷͈̼̝̩̰̭̥̻̩̿̿̒́͜y̶̭̽̈́̈́͊̈̆͠ ̵͙̜̻́̇̆̓̑̌͊̾̌͛̎̑́͠b̷̧̥͍͍̞̍̑ę̴̧̯̗̩̥̭̰͕̓̃́̍͂̄͋̓̐̄̌͛̃̕͜.̴̧̬̫͚͔̭̝͉́̓͌̑̂̉̈̊͠ ̸̨̡̨̛̬̳̺̪̪͇͐͛́̑̾̈́̽̓͗̒̈́̚͝͠ͅY̶̜̪̟̳͍͖̥̼̭͉̭̼͐́̂̓̑̎́̇̋̕͜͝ͅớ̷̠̮̬̲̒̍̎͑̑͐̕u̶̢̢̮̺͓̘͈̠̟̰̱̞̥̣̓ͅ ̶͉̠̲̣̖͊̍̾̀̅̋̏͜k̵͈͂̒̋̃̽͊̈́̽̈́͆͂n̸̛̜̠͉̳̤̥̟̘̟̬̻͕͇͆̍̊̑͋̈̾̄̉̀͊͘̚͜ͅo̸̡̮̗͇̺̦̺͚̱̠̞͓̭̓̐̕ͅŵ̸͙̉̉̈́̑̎̌̓͊̅̿̒͝ ̶̡̟͍͙̜̽̅͑͌̑͜͜͝͝w̸̡̩͈̩̹̤̙̝̒̑̾̂̌̎̚͠h̷̺̜̖̒̈́̓͝ă̶̜̥̖̘͔̹͐͐̓̈́̀̅̊̐̌̈̍̀͘͝t̵̗̥̲̚ ̷̨̩͗̍̈̈́́̈́͑̓̋̈̕͝ẉ̸̛̽͆̎͗̉͌̂̓̈́̃̿̋̍͜͝ĩ̴̛̛͍̺̣̲͍͋̀̀́͊̍͝͝l̷̛̠͚̰̊́̉̒̏͐̓̐͘̕̕l̸̬͍̤̠͓̠̬̃ ̷͍̥̭͉͉͍̞͔͎̯̺͎̑̾͌̾̈́h̶̨̢͖̯̫̮̭͑͜ẩ̷̰̩͙̰̲̳̹͗̊̑̈́̂͝͝p̴̡̡̛͇͎̮̟͍̥̯̂̔͜͠p̷̫̤̝̗̣͎̃͋̉͑́̋̈̎̾͌͝ͅẽ̶̼̠̳̙̬̉͒̾͂̄̂̽̍̍̐̈͠͝n̸͚̲̤̹̘̥̼̉̅͗̏̔͆̈̕͘̕ͅ ̴̨̛̛̟̦̬̺̫̣̯͓̜͖͎͆̍͑̄͗̑̊͘͝ļ̸̣̫̖̫̘̎̈́͋͌̿̽̊͑̚͠ả̷̩̣̮̫̐͊̽͊̃͠t̷̺̣̘͋e̶̙͓̯̜̭̗̥͉̫̎͛̆̀̓͊̚͜͜͝ͅr̴̩͔̗̔͛.̸̧̖̤̰̱̻͓̂͊

  [Name]'s whimpers took his attention. The amnesiac boy was frowning, and Jean knew exactly what was happening.

"Your head again?" He unconsciously placed his hand on [Name]'s forehead, worried. The touch somehow calmed him a little.

"I tried to remember— bad choice." He sighed, hiding his face onto Jean's chest, making the teenager blush completely again. He knew [Name] could hear his heartbeat— calm yourself! Clenching his jaw, he hugged the boy closer, looking at the side in shyness. He had to enjoyed while it lasted— soon they will be in the military, and doing things like this in front of everyone would be embarrassing, wouldn't be? He only wished time didn't go as fast.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

This was the day.

[Name] packed his stuff with the help of his mother, she doing most of the talking. She didn't want to cry, so the best she could so was to keep her mind occupied in talking and helping.

"You are such a handsome boy now, I can't believe it..." She sighed, "You are getting taller too..."

"Do you think so? Jean is still taller than me."

"He had grow up so much too... And to think it has been only two years." She laughed, "I can't wait to see how the military has shaped you."

They finish quickly, after all it isn't much. They leave the house, stopping at the entrance. There's silence— both of them see the path where everyone is going. After all, today was the day to enlist, and many teenagers were already leaving their homes. [Name] turns to see Beatrice, who is deep in thought.

She sighs, "you can come back if you can't take it, alright? No one will think less of you!" She takes him and kisses him all over, receiving a chuckle from [Name].

"Okay, mom."

"Don't forget to visit! I will sent you letters, okay? If I can I will sent you some cookies too!" She kisses him, "do your best, and make a lot of friends, please? When you come back in your free time, come with your friends! A lot of food will await you."

With a last hug and more kisses, [Name] leaves. When Beatrice can't see him anymore, tears fall from her face as she tries to hold her sobs. She wipes them, but the tears won't stop from falling. She's horribly sad and broken, but she knows this is the right choice for him. After all, he belongs somewhere else.

"Please come back safe..."

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

"There you are," Jean says, already waiting for him in their usual spot. They agreed to go together, as always, "thought you changed your mind."

[Name] let his tongue out, making Jean snort. "Never." They return on their walk, following the others teenagers to their new future.

I hope... they are there.

T̵̨̨̛̠̤͇̩̩͈̤̪͖̮̜̜̼̣̳̟̝̫͒͒͂̽͛̒͑̍̇̒͆̚͝h̶̩̜̳͔͍̱̳̺͍̲̩͔̥̠͍͚͈̑̃̐̾̇́̓͐͑̔̚͝e̶̫̭̬̩̰̝̬͎̰̿͋̓̒̅̉̉̎͗̕͜y̵̨̢̲͓͇͓͔͓͐̽̃͆̿̓̕͘ ̶̛̣̗̪̙͒̑̊͂̈́͒̏̔ẅ̷̢̧̨̛̬̗̮̳̣̙͉̟̫̣̬̮̲̲̬͔̑̓̒̉̾͠ḭ̵̬̲͉̱̲͕̱͕̞͉̯͎̯̘̤̙̠̻̽̽͋̀͑̓̂̍͆̉̽͐̍͑̋ͅl̸̢̡̧̬̟̞̻̩͈͓̙̙̻̺̲̭̤̦̼͉̖̩̻̩̣̓͗̐̊̓ͅļ̵̧̢̢͖̼̤̲̩̙̥̖̘̜̭̗̫̗̮͓͔̗̦̗͖̱̎̃̇̈́̊͋͑͌̓̀̐̀̏̔͋͋͋ͅ.̷͎̖̲̈́̋̑̈́̅̈́͆̈̓͛̾̐͊͋̐̓̌̈́̔͑̔̑̔̽

e m p t y / 8

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter eight — after dark

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

The travel to the refugee was awfully slow. [Name] felt horrible all the way there, bearing the voices of adults and children suffering around him. Not even Beatrice hugging his head on her chest calmed his nerves. The poor boy still thought about his friends and what they where doing. If they were still alive.

He knew when the boat stopped because Beatrice told him as she got up, helping him stand up. [Name] hugged her leg, trying to hide from nothing in particular. He was tired, and so was Beatrice. Everyone followed the soldiers who guided them to the refugee, every person with torment in their expressions.

“Everyone! Get in line for the supplies! Women and children first!” A soldier yells to all the people, guiding them to where the food was. Multiple boxes were placed behind a desk where another soldier was preparing the supplies.

The soldier guided the women with their children first. Beatrice and [Name] got bread and water— the soldiers had said if they gave more there wouldn’t be more supplies for the next boats. Some people began to shout and yell against it, but the word was final. Beatrice thanked the officer and took [Name]’s hand, walking to the opposite direction of that place.

“What is going to happen now?” [Name] asked, not feeling hungry at all. His huge appetite was gone after such thing.

Beatrice was deep in thought. She had no family outside Shinganshina— her parents passed away a long time ago. Her husband’s family had practically dishonored him, and they wouldn’t talk to them. She knew if they go to where they were, they wouldn’t be welcomed. It would have been just a waste of time and energy.

“Maybe..." She whispers, nodding to herself, "we'll go to Trost. I have a friend who may take us in, if not..." She looks at [Name]'s eyes full of worry, but she smiles to calm him. "We'll manage, like we have always done, right?"

"Yeah..."

"I'll go to ask something to the soldiers. Stay here, alright? I'll come back quick." Beatrice smiled at him and left, leaving him alone. [Name] sat on a empty box far away from the group of people, resting his elbows on his knees.

He was upset, but he couldn’t cry. There was no sight of his friends here— he didn’t even hear them. Were they alright? Were they still inside that mess? He couldn’t even sent a letter— to where? They had no home. Shinganshina was no more. His house, Beatrice’s and his’ stuff... only the memories remained. But was that even a good thing? He couldn’t just resign— he couldn’t let them win.

[Name] frowned, feeling rage inside him. His home was lost, but not forever. Until he grows and enlists to the military, their home could at least have some possibilities to be regained. He just had to enlist to the survey corps and be free.

Where did we hear that before?

W̷̨̜͈̫̥̜͍͕̪͉͎͇͙̆͐̒̋͂̆̐̊̋͌̓̉̈́͋̾͝͝͠ē̷̡̲͇͖͙̭͓̹̃̓̓̈́̓͊̄̍̿͑̈́̈ͅ ̴̜̝̞̳͈̳̩̘̠̥̙͇̥̋̔̍̕͜a̶̢̛̯͇̠̙̺̦̹͇͍̤̤̬̜̾͗̒͆͌̔͛̃͐̈́͂͆̀̐̆̾r̷̢̡̡̞̱͙̤͙̪̟͉̪̘͕̳̗̓̇̾̊̒͝e̶̢̡̧̮̹̩̅n̷͙̜̩͖̹͍͇̖̯͗͂̓̄ͅ'̸̧̧̖̼̙́͋̍̃̔̄͛͊̌͘ẗ̸̛̟̪͙̼̽͂͗̔̄͆̆̍̍͗̋̾̑͠ ̶̧̛͉͈̤̲̹̬͎͔͕̬̹̈̏͂͒̾̊̒͌̽͗̍͐͘͝f̷̛̜̝͓̫̹̰̞͈̜̺̜̿̽̓̒̈́̊̾̐̏͌̈́̓̕̕͝͝r̸̛̖̽̒̓̀͌̾͆̌͝ē̷͕̻͙̘̥̼̟̱͙̳̜̠̖̟̪̰͆̐̍̃̅́̾͆̾̇͑͝ͅĕ̸̢̳̘̘̺̞͈̻͍̣̎̽̈͆̈́̂̑͗͘ͅ.̵̨̰̙̘̻̘̭̞̯͖̠̹͕͋̉͌̓̇͗

A huge pain felt on his head, making him whimper and hold it as he frowned with his eyes closed. He heard a voice, but he couldn’t understand what it said. Like the whisper he heard before— but this was different. Whatever it was caused him a lot of pain. [Name] wondered now what could he get to calm his pain, now that Dr. Jaeger wasn’t here no more. Did he make it? Did miss Carla make it too? So many people he wondered about could be lost, hurt, or even dead.

He was hurt.

Now that his headache was over, the boy’s eyes wandered around. He didn’t want to see the horror and misery some people had on their faces, so he averted them completely. It was enough with the sounds of their voices and the cry of children for his ears. When is Beatrice returning?

His [hair color] eyes catch something falling— bread? As three kids pass trough, not noticing they lost something. The boy stands up, taking the food from the floor and hurriedly walks to the three kids, immediately taking their attention. “Hey! You dropped this,” they turn around, and when [Name] meets the gaze of the tallest kid, he can’t help but wondering something, blinking repeatedly.

“Oh? Uhm, thank you.” The blond speaks first, taking the bread [Name] is handing over. It is noticeable the [hair color] haired boy is focused on their taller friend, and he can help but grow worried by it.

“Uh... a–are you ok?” The taller kid gently speaks, while the blonde girl stares at the quiet boy in front of them, wary.

The amnesiac boy tilts hid head, confused by the familiar feeling the tallest boy’s eyes have— it was... as if he saw them before. Somewhere else, but he can’t remember. “Have we met before?” He bluntly asks, getting slightly near the kid, seeing his eyes.

The sudden question does shock them a little— they are sure they have never meet this kid before, that was for sure. And even so, they don’t recognize from nowhere.

“I—I don’t think so!” The tall boy sweats, gulping.

The blond girl focuses on the stranger kid— but blinks repeatedly as she focuses on his unusual eyes. Her own eyes widened slightly, as if she recognizes him. Her expression returns to normal in a second, crossing her arms.

“Your eyes... are different.” She speaks loudly, making her friends turn at her in surprise before focusing on the kid’s eyes, holding their shock. They look at each other as if they were reaffirming something, but [Name] doesn’t notice or cares about it.

The [hair color] haired boy blinks unbothered, “they are.” [Name] lets out an ‘ah’, remembering where he had to be right now. Beatrice had told him not to leave the spot, thing that he obviously did. “Sorry for the sudden... question, but I have to return. Good... luck?” He tries to finish the weird interaction, his social skill obviously lacking. He turns around to leave, but the male blond takes his hand before he does.

The blonde reacts first before he leaves, taking his wrist. But as soon as they touch, the amnesiac boy feels a shock. [Name] feels in a daze for a couple of seconds, as if he’s seeing something that isn’t there, but it seems the other kid didn’t feel the same thing because he doesn’t react. "Wait! What’s your name?”

T̴̛̬͒̈̅͗͘̕h̷̩͓͉̝͂̂̇̈́̍̿̈́́̐̿̎̿̒̚ĕ̷̢͕͎͉͈̠̲̝̞͈̪̲̗͔̲̯̣̬͚̓̽̈͊͒̋̔̈́̑̃̅͝y̵̨̨̝͕̺͂͒͋̏̂̈́̈̉͒̉̒̃̓̒̐̔̚͝͠ ̷͈̉̾͌̈́̾̃̀͑̌ͅä̸̜̺͈͖͇͕͍̣̜̝̫͕̦͉̂̇͋͊̌͐͐̋͂͘r̴͚̦̞̗̙͚̽̀̾̌e̸̡͍̥̮̱͎̠̤̩͕͛̓̎̾̌͐̈̍̿͌̉̊̚͜ ̴̠̪̉̾͋͆̌͗̕͘͝h̴̛̛̜̲͎̘͚͉̪͓̎̒̊͋͌̅̋̀͂̓̋̈́̓͐͑̈́͂̊̚͜ĕ̷̡̽̈́̐̀͑̏̎̔̎͘ȑ̴̨̧̢̨̯̪̭̥͍̲̰̭͎̟̳͎̳̮̯̻̍̎́ë̷̛̲̺̳̯͇̲̥͙͖̠̫̯̹̪̬͙̠̮͇̖̉̊̉̌̅͑͑̑̍͗̏ ̵̧̥̣̟̹̄̆̊̆̄͛̏̅̅̑̿͊̈́̐̚̚͜͝͝͝ȁ̴̡̡̢̧͚͓̳̘̰̮̤̠̼̪̟̩̭͇̳͒l̵̨̲̫̜͖̪͉̙̝͈̞͇̪̬͔̠̺̺̖͍̼͒̆͛͒̋̌̓̾̑̅͗̂̑͆̉̿̕͝r̶̤̱̙̖͎͍̭͙̳̬̐̐̑ȩ̷̣̫͔͓͚̺̯͆̋͗͆̀̔̽̈̂͜͜͝ą̵̡̹̤͎̪͙̟̙̰̻͙̝̺͕̖͉̍̽͛̇͂̐̊̋̏͂̂̉̊͐̓͌̄͂͜͝ͅd̵̡̛̟̲̉͗͂͌͛̓̏͌̆͗̎͌̕͝͝͝ỷ̶̡̼͎͇̮̫̹̝͎̭̱͙̲̟̞̀̌̿͘͜.̶̨͙͔̪̣̮̠̋̈́͒̈́̓̐̈́̂̒̿͂̀̾̐̀͝ͅ

“[Name].” He answers bluntly, blinking and shacking his head to shake off the weird feeling.

“Uh— and where are you heading to...? Did you lost your home?” He pries, looking carefully at the boy.

“I’m going to Trost with my mom.” He wonders, “what about you?”

“We have nowhere to go to. We... lost our home.”

“I’m... sorry. But at least the three of you are together... I can’t say the same about my friends.” A somber look passes his face, a pain crossing his chest.

“You lost them.” The blond girl says, avoiding looking at him. They visually cringe at the revelation.

“I haven’t find them yet.” He tried to have faith. [Name] didn't want to believe he lost them.

“So you are not sure...?” The brunette pries, a little shy.

“I hope not. I... I have hope, if that helps.”

“W–What do you plan to do next?”

[Name] tilts his head, looking at the floor as he thought about before. His rage didn’t fade off— he was sure he would enlist in the military as soon as he could. There was no going back. “I’m enlisting.”

“Enlisting? To the military?” The girl spoke, raising a brow. [Name] nods. “For what?”

The stoic boy answers instantly, “to explore what’s behind these walls.”

“Why? Weren’t you there when the wall broke?”

“And?”

“And? You saw the titans! Aren’t you scared?!” This time the blond interfered, a look of shock plastered on his face.

“So being scared means I won’t do nothing?” He crosses his arms. “My home is lost— I can’t let it be just some memories.”

The children see him in amazement, well— only the two boys. The girl is wearing her usual frown, still looking at his eyes. “So you will enlist when you’re old enough?”

“Yeah," he blinks, "what about you?”

“We don’t know yet.” The blonde says hurriedly.

“[Name]!” The boy could hear Beatrice calling for him, making him turn around.

“What?”

“Mom’s calling for me.” He turns to see them, “I have to go now.”

“Well then, hope we can see each other again.” The blond boy tries to smile at him, receiving a nod from the expressionless kid.

Before leaving, [Name] looks at the brunette in the eyes, softening his gaze a little. The taller kid gulps unsure of what to say or do, and chooses not to say anything and just wait.

“Your eyes are pretty.” The sudden compliments makes the brunette blush— but he couldn’t say anything as the kid was walking away already. The three children stay put, looking at the unusual boy leaving with hurry. What a strange meeting... and rather lucky one.

“One thing to care less about.” The girl speaks, crossing her arms as her eyes follow the kid.

The children walk away. The blond boy frowning, the brunette still blushing and the girl looking behind her.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

“Good news! There’s a boat going exactly at Trost just now. They are making people get on already, so let’s hurry!” She took his hand and walked hurriedly to the boats’ direction. "If we get on right now we can arrive in one hour!"

[Name] noticed she looked rather happy. She was smiling— maybe to calm him. What happened was traumatic, even if they didn't have to face the titans like other people did. Even seeing them from afar was scary... [Name] wondered how Eren, Mikasa and Armin managed. If he had accepted that lunch invitation, what would have happen to him? Would he be with them right now? Maybe he could have helped them if he noticed sooner...

Ẁ̴̡̞̝͚̲͎̲̬̩̖̺̥͊̋̅̈́̏̊̅̆̽́̌ḧ̷̡̧̳̗̣̱̜̺͇̺͍́͆̃̓̽̈́͑̿̆̃͝͠͠a̷̛͓̒̔̎̎̋̆̃̚͝ẗ̵̛̙̻̖́͒̈̍̈́͑̀͂̋͘͝ ̴̗̟̠̪̮̬̪̦͙͖̯̝̊̓̾̅̈́̾̅̓̽̆̾̈̚h̷̼͉̿̽̿͒͊̀͛̊ȩ̸̢̢͎͚̝͓̞̘̬̩̭̭̍͐̈́̑̽̂̋͂l̴̢̢͕̩̰̝̜̲͑́̈́̎̈́̓̅͐̀͜͝ͅp̴̖̐͌̀̿̋͊̔̚͠ ̷̨̧̘̠̼̹̼̰̪̯̯̻̳̓̈͗̊̈́̂̽͑͑̑̽̈̒͠͠c̵̲̜̙̻̳̰͇̦̺̪̼̰̥̊̒ȯ̶̼͕͇̲̫̤̞̪͊͗̏̑̐͑̈́̔̊̅͆͜ư̷̡̩̳̝̼̦̯̬̹̯̮̥̼͂̍̚͝l̷̨̟̠̖̟͎̀̋͂͗̉̔̇͑͌͘͠d̷̨̤̺͚̬͚͉̿͝ ̸̺̟̺͔̟̭̣͔̠̯̪͆͜y̷͖̍̉̑͂̚o̵̧̢͔̖͔͍͈͖̫̯͙͍̪͚͑̋̎̋͋͑̀̈́͆̇̚͝͝͝ű̵̧̲͇̺͔̅̉̋͠ ̸͇̜̠͎̗̣̰͔̼̳͇͛̅h̸͍͉̞͇͑͊̊̍̾̚͝͝a̷̡̩͙͖̻̹̗͎̟͙̼̙̪̰͗͌͒͐v̴̛̭̦̙̟̣̯͙̹̈́̍͐͆̇̎̇̃̏̕͝͝͠ȩ̵̝̦̌͒̔̆̓̑͜ ̷͎̿̿̎̓͘b̸͖̟͉̥̤̼̻̫̝̻̈́̃͆͒̽͌̔͝͝r̷̡̨̠͙͚̰̗̙̪͉̋̆̑̊̓̒͒̏͊̏̄͜i̶̢͔̼̲̻̞̞̝̦̫͈̩̔́͂ņ̷͎̜̬̻̳́̇̿̚g̵̡͖̘̝̟̗̼͇͑́̋͌̏́̃̉̕͘è̸̢̺̣̹̤̰̭̩̱̮͑̄̍͑̀̓̚͠d̸̡̡͇̥̝͋́̅͒̍̐?̸̮͙̏́̾́̈́̓̇̓͑ͅ ̶̧̖̝͉͉̈́Ÿ̵̨͇͙̥͚̰͎͔͖̰̭̺̗̭́̀͊̆̒̎̓̑̈́̕ǫ̴̛͓̻̘̞͙̪̱̜͙̝̜̠̅̈́͝͠u̶̡̢̧̲̜̱̮͚̣̥̳̞̓͛ ̴̛͙̹̹͈͇̆̊͑̀̍̊̄̄͛̕a̴͚̰͙͚̯͉̝̭̤͋̓̎͊͒̐̌̿͛͝r̶̢̛͕͕̳̺͍͈̗̟̫̓̓̓͂̌͆̀̚͘ͅę̵̧͍̪͈͚͕̟̞͓͑̃̀͐͗̍̄͜͝ ̸̢̳̹̼͖͓̙̳̯̭͔͋͐̇̏͌̉̌͒̊̊͂͋͊̚͜ͅj̸̧͙̥̰̳̊͂̄̇̏̈ų̸̧͙͔͕̬̺̱̱̯̬̤̳͑͆̅̌̉̓̚͘͜ŝ̶̩͎͓͎̾̈́͌́̐̈́̎̉̄̈̓͘͝ţ̸̭͖̥̜̦͔̼̼̾̎͗̿̈́̓̎͐̚͜͝ ̶̢̜̯̰͉̟̝͈̲̜̙͕̋͗̿̇̚̚͠a̶̛͙̯̬̘̗͈͉͕͈̖̽̌͑͛̈́͑͒̓̍́͝͝ ̴̧̨͉̜̖̖̅̾͒̈́͊͗̃͑̓͘͝u̴̢̜̝̼̞̼̠̠͖̩̫͒̆̓͂s̷̛͙͉̈́͗̈̐̎͝ě̸͇̫̪̰͕̺̝̗̤̖̜͊ͅl̶̢̢͓͖̖̰̘̦̭̦̝̫̒̽͐̿̕͜͜͜ẽ̷̢̧͈̤̟̟̬̱̯̝̩̑̽̂̑̇͂͛̋̑͑̚͜͠͠ͅs̸͎̳̮̽ş̷̛̹̰̪̣̖̭̬̠̃͂͐̀̂͜͝ ̷̡͍̗̬̪͒̽͌b̷̢̛̘͇͎̠͓̝͇͕̱̠̻̹̗͍͂̎̋̋͋̐o̷̱̖̯͊͗͐̔̄͗̈́̈́̋̽̌̏͠y̷̧͙͖̣̞͕̲̌̆̃̾̅̃ ̶̨̬̜͖͔̖̰̗̉̆͐̈́̃͋͑̒̅̈́̑ř̷̡̬͕̬̗̄͒̃̇̀̚i̶̧̛̮̳̺̖͖̻͉͎͉͈̟̩͚̍̋̉ͅg̴͉̻̓͌̆͑h̸̙̺̝̦͖̎̄̔̉̈́̅̈͗̿̃́̅͝t̵̢̼̺̦̙̗̣̪̥̯̄͐͂̂̏͘͜ ̴̨̧̳̗͓̹̖̱̟̏̔͒̽̅n̸͕̟̕o̵͓͇̗̭̦̗̼̻͈͗̓̿̃ͅw̵̮͙̜͛̇̎̐̇̑͂̈́͘̕.̶̧̘̬͈̈̀̈́ͅ

He flinched, pressing his palm against his forehead. Gritting his teeth, the boy tried to not let go any sound— what was with this headaches now? They weren't that usual in the same day. Something was wrong with him; maybe what happened had affected him more than he thought? If so, his future managing this headaches didn't look bright. The only thing that was left with him was the herbs and the was he could bear with the pain.

"Well, there are people around..." Beatrice looked around, spotting the Trost's boat. There were soldiers shouting the boat's destination, making it easy to spot it. Both of them walked where they were, along with some other families that were already waiting the others to get on. They arrived just in time, it seemed. Beatrice sighed in relief, turning to [Name], who hided his painful headache with his stoic expression. "In Trost we go. Don't worry honey, I'm sure Lydia can take us in."

"And if she can't?"

Beatrice doesn't falters nor her smiles fades, "then, like I said before, we'll manage. Together, okay?" She squeezes his hand gently. [Name] doesn't answer verbally, rather, he sighs and shows a smile as he squeezes back. He's glad Beatrice is okay— if not, he would have been all alone by himself. Maybe he would even be back at Shinganshina, lost, not knowing what to do. When he find her, something heavy disappeared on his shoulders.

Beatrice talks all the time they are waiting to get on the boat, talking about how Trost is a good place to live. She says her pastries could charm the people from them if she plays her cards right. [Name] believes she doesn't have to play anything to love her as he does— someone nice as her is noticed by miles. If they don't like her or her pastries, is because they are dumb.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

Beatrice was right —like she always is—, they arrived to the district in one hour. The boat was just tight— seems there were other people who had business in the same city. Once they got off, they stretched. They were awfully tired— if this 'Lydia' Beatrice talked wonders about didn't take them in, the would have to sleep on the streets because their energy was disappearing. Quickly after their little 'exercise', they got a move on. It was more tiring, because Beatrice didn't exactly know where her friend lived no more, and asking to person to person was taking all of their day.

Luckily an old woman who sold fruits knew exactly who she was talking about. The nice lady told them where Lydia lived with her son, and it wasn't far away from there.

"Yes! You have to turn left when you are at Jimmy's bar, then you will see her house. It has an orange door, so you can't mistake it."

"Thank you so much! I don't have anything with me to thank you now, but—"

"Oh, hush! You don't have to worry about it," the lady chuckled, taking two apples from her baskets and handed them to Beatrice, who blushed and shacked her head, "don't worry about it, dear! Take them! I can see your lovely son is hungry, and I'm sure you are too. So please take them."

Beatrice sighed and smiled, grateful for the help she got. "I'm very thankful, ma'am." She took the apples, handing one to [Name] who took immediately and began to ate it.

"Thank you, ma'am."

"Oh, what a handsome boy!" She laughed, "you two seem tired. Only god knows what you two went trough. I won't take your time anymore, so please hurry and rest."

Beatrice thanked her again before leaving, retaking their little 'mission' to find Lydia's house. "Everything will be alright," she spoke more to herself as he took a bite on the apple, looking ahead, hand in hand with [Name]. The boy looked at her with his tired eyes, squeezing her hand.

It only took a few minutes to spot the bar the lady talked about, and after they took the turn they spotted quickly the orange door. Beatrice sighed in relief before approaching it, knocking on it three times. [Name] realized his mom was nervous, seeing her tensed shoulders and pressed lips.

"Everything will be alright," he gently spoke, smiling. Beatrice looked at him in surprise, blinking. She smiled soon after, patting his head.

The door opened— both of them changed their attention to it. A chubby woman with brown tied hair looked at them in confusion, but before Beatrice could speak why or who they were, the woman's eyes widened and a "oh my!" left her lips, quickly after hugging Beatrice with happiness in her actions.

"Beatrice! It's been so long since I last saw you!"

"I'm happy you remember me, Lydia." Beatrice smiled, returning the hug.

Lydia's expression changes into a worried one, "I heard what happened in Shinganshina! Are you alright?!"

"Uh, well— as you heard what happen, I wanted to ask you—"

"You don't even have to ask, woman! You can stay here as long as you want to!"

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

"This is my son, Jean! Say hi to [Name], Jeanbo." Jean's mom happily said, taking a step on the right to give Jean some space.

Behind her was a boy taller than [Name]. His hair color had two tones, by [Name]'s surprise. It looks good on him. He had a frown on his face, and even if he looked irritated, maybe he was just shy.

"Don't call me that..." He said in irritation, before looking at the [hair color] haired boy with a blush on his cheeks. He grabbed his wrist, a little shy. "Hello." He only greeted.

Showing a small smile, [Name] tried to sound friendly and not that expressionless, not knowing if he succeeded. "Hello. Is nice to meet you, Jean."

Jean, blinking, said, "yeah, uh, nice to meet you too..."

"Beatrice and [Name] will stay with us for some time, so please be kind with them, alright?" She spoke to her child softly, and he only blinked in surprise and nodded in return. [Name] didn't know if he minded some strangers stayed at his house, but it seemed Lydia didn't. "Okay then, why don't you show [Name] your room? He will sleep with you just for some weeks before we settle this, okay?"

"My room?!"

"Jeanbo! Don't be disrespectful in front of our guests!"

"B—But—!"

"Jean."

The boy sighed, nodding. He guided [Name] where his room was, which was upstairs.

"I'm sorry if I'm causing you trouble..." Beatrice said, looking embarrassed.

"Don't be! Jeabo is just difficult, but he doesn't mind," Lydia waits until she sees the boys leave, then turns to Beatrice, "now, I can see you are both hungry AND tired! Let me make something for you. It's almost night."

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

The small walk to Jean's room was quick and filled with awkward silence. [Name] —who is not good at all at social stuff—, didn't feel particularly uncomfortable, just tired. Maybe he could sleep a little if he was allowed to?

"Sorry you have to share," [Name] spoke, taking Jean's attention, "I can sleep on the floor if you want."

The other boy blushed for some reason and averted looking at [Name], "I-It's alright. We can sleep t-together." Hearing that made [Name] relieved— he didn't want to sleep on the floor tonight. He was so tired, mentally and physically. Maybe he could even sleep one full week.

"Here's my room..." Jean opened the door, letting [Name] in. The amnesiac boy at the sight of the bed almost falls, and without thinking much he asked, looking at Jean with tired eyes,

"Can I sleep?" Jean's eyes widened, blinking. He just nodded slowly, seeing [Name] walk tiredly at the bed and drop himself on it.

Jean waited for a reaction, but there was none. "Did he fell asleep already?!" Jean approached the boy, getting near his sleepy face. When he heard the small snores coming out of his mouth he was sure the other fell asleep instantly— Jean didn't know that was possible until now.

Now that he was ‘alone’, Jean could pay attention of his new roommates’ appearance. Not that he didn’t... appreciate it when he first saw him, but now he could carefully see him. Even if his characteristics weren’t out of the ordinary, he looked different. But what looked obviously different was his eyes. Jean didn’t looked at them that much at first, but when he looked at him to ask if he could sleep Jean had the opportunity to see them.

They were... cool.

Jean blinked, realizing how weird he was being by watching carefully the other boy. Blushing, he covered his face with his hand before quietly walking towards the door to leave, not without glazing one last time at [Name], seeing his sleepy face.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

"Oh, where's [Name]?" Lydia asks, noticing the absence of the other boy.

"He fell asleep."

"He must have been so tired... my poor boy..." Beatrice sighs.

"Uhm—" Jean speaks, trying to let his question out. Beatrice, noticing it, looks at him with curiosity.

"Hmn? Is something you want to ask me?" She smiles kindly, stopping her actions while Lydia cuts some vegetables.

"Well... [Name]'s eyes are... different," he shakes his head, "n-not that is a bad thing or anything!"

Beatrice chuckles, "indeed they are, hmn?" Jean nods, shyly looking at her, "I think he was born with them... I've seen them since I first saw him."

"Oh? [Name] isn't your son?" This time Lydia pries, looking at Beatrice who shakes her head as an answer.

"I found him, or rather, he found me." She smiles as she remembers how scared and lost he looked before— like a frightened kitten. "Jean, [Name] isn't a bad boy by any means. He's... quiet and a little anti-social, so please be patient with him, yeah?"

Jean just looks at her with widened eyes before nodding. He couldn't deny he was interested in him— after all, it wasn't everyday he made some friends, even if he tried to don't make it obvious. And [Name] looked interesting.

"Finally you will have a friend, Jeanbo!" His mother chuckled, finishing making dinner. The boy grunted.

"I have friends! Y-You just haven't seen them...!"

"Sure thing, my boy..."

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

[Name] didn't wake up until the next morning. And even so, Beatrice had to wake him up because Jean couldn't. The woman seemed she was get used to such sleeping problems, because she dealt with it fast.

"Here," Jean hands [Name] some clothes, "we will share clothes. I will show you the shower." [Name], still sleepy, yawns and nods, doing his best to walk straight. Jean gazes at him a few times, ready to catch him if he falls. Luckily that doesn't happen.

"Uhm, breakfast will be ready when you finish, so... go there...?" He awkwardly speaks, receiving a nod from [Name]. Jean is ready to leave, until his low but gentle voice speaks,

"Thank you," and then closes the door, leaving Jean alone. The boy looks at the wooden door for a couple of seconds before leaving to breakfast.

Lydia tells Jean to go to the bakery to accompany some bread to today's breakfast, but says to wait for [Name] so they can go together. Jean waits on his seat, until [Name] comes.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

"Uh... let's go then," Jean says, looking at [Name] who yawns and follows him not before waving at Beatrice and Lydia, who wave back in return with a smile. Jean awkwardly does it too before closing the door.

Jean didn't want to ask, but his curiosity was growing on him. He knew [Name] was in Shinganshina when all of the titans came in and broke the wall... and the titans, such monsters that Jean have never saw and couldn't imagine, wanted to know everything [Name] saw. Was there really a titan as big as the walls? How did it looked like?

It seemed he was trying to keep his mouth shut, as [Name] saw how his mouth opened but closed a couple of times. [Name] knew exactly the other wanted to ask— and if he was honest, he wanted to forget about it.

"Just ask." He spoke rather loudly, irritated by the other's actions. Jean jumped at hearing his voice, blushing in embarrassment. He took a couple of seconds before asking,

"Is that true? A titan bigger than the wall?"

[Name] remembers it— skinless monster, moving its eyes trough the people, meeting his'. It's hand gripping the wall, rupturing it. "Barely."

Jean is surprised, but can't hold his questions anymore, "how are they? are they really that big? how many were there?"

Titans who smile for an unknown reason, who eat humans for a reason not known, "they are big, and they smile a lot..." He shivers remembering them, and even if he didn't see them close, their smiles burn his mind.

"Smile...?"

"Yeah."

Jean catches [Name]'s tone and stops prying. Luckily the awkward silence didn't last long, as the two boys arrive to the bakery, instantly smelling the bread. [Name] relax, remembering the times where Beatrice and he bake in her kitchen. Jean does most of the task, seeing as [Name] is not that great socializing. He only says a low hello to the baker, and when Jean takes their stuff the leave.

"Sorry If I pried to much... I was curious."

"It's alright."

"Ahh— but isn't it Jeanbo?" A mocking tone of voice that [Name] recognizes too well is heard behind them, making them turn to see who is it. Jean know exactly who, seeing his frown as he turns around. "And with a new friend I see!" The other boys behind him laugh.

Jean is in silence, and [Name] can't help but assume what is happening. He knows it too well— since Armin was bullied a lot, he knew exactly what type of people this kids were.

And he wouldn't stand for that.

"Aaaah! Look at his eyes! So freaky!" One of them gets near [Name]'s face, making the boy frown in disgust. "What?? You don't talk?"

"Leave us alone."

The bully takes Jean by his shirt, smiling disgustingly at him, "what? momma's boy has grown some balls now that your little friend is here?" Jean shut his mouth, trying to get out of the other's grasps but failing to do so. "Yeah, that's what I thought, momma's boy!" The bully lets out a laugh, following by his friends. But the bully sees what is Jean holding in his hand, grinning, he steals it from Jean's grasp, "ah! you have bread with you. How nice of you, Jeanbo! Now, let me take it—"

"You won't take anything." [Name] speaks, looking straight at the bully's eyes who looks surprised at him, but quickly changes his expression to his clown face.

"Ah? The mute can talk?" He says as he drops Jean, approaching [Name] to intimidate him. He is taller than him, but to [Name] it doesn't mean anything. "Look, I will explain you how things works here, you see—"

"Shut your filthy mouth. You are annoying." [Name] spat out, helping Jean stand up, who looks already frightened by what is about to happen.

"How dare you—!" One of the bully's friends say, but the leader stops him with his arm.

"Now, now, we have to teach him a lesson, don't we, boys?" The boys laugh devilish, nodding as they stretch and move their fists. "Now, why don't you cooperate and—" before he could continue his banter, a punch straight to the face shut him off, surprising his friends and Jean by the sudden force that made him fall. There's silence for a moment, but the bully, embarrassingly covering his bloody nose, yells, "what are you waiting for, idiots?! Get him!"

The two boys react and approach [Name] to give a punch, but the by easily dodges their attacks by kneeling and lifting his leg to kick one of them with full force, making one fall on top of the other. It seems he knocked-out the one of top, seeing he got unresponsive, as the one under him tried to move.

Jean thought this would be over seeing the fight ending quickly, noticing how people are surrounding them.

But [Name] wasn't done— he slowly approached the leader, who looked terrified as he tried to back off still on the floor. The amnesiac boy harshly took him by the collar, looking at him with deadly and frightening eyes, "you should give me that," he points with his head the bag of bread.

"Y-Yeah, all yours!" He quickly speaks, handing him the bag. But just as [Name] takes it, the bully's expression turns into a big grin, taking [Name]'s wrist to make him fall. "Hahaha! You thought you will—" An elbow to the face knocks him off, silencing him for good. [Name] drops to the floor without much harm, taking the bag and with Jean's help he stand up. He dusts himself without much thought before giving Jean the bread.

"T-That was... amazing!" Jean can't stop his surprise and the nice feeling of someone standing up for him. He admires the stoic boy, who doesn't look tired, dusting himself as if nothing had happened. He looks at Jean, tilting his head with a small frown.

"We should get going for breakfast." He began walking, but seeing as Jean wasn't following, he stopped and looked behind him with a raised brow. His humming made Jean's thought snap and run towards him with a blush, the two boys walking to their home as they talk all the way there.

Jean didn't want to admit it, but [Name] was pretty cool, even if he was a little weird. He looked forward to being his friend in the future... He didn't mind sharing his bed with him if it meant hearing him talk more.

Trough the walk to their home, [Name] hides his headache, more exactly trying to ignore the static that he hears.

Ḧ̴̻̩̘̰͖̯̫̼̼̼̮̤̼̭̩͉̟́̄̓̓́̍̕͘͝ͅe̵̡̨̡̢͓̜̻̻͇͚̖͂̾̐͑͌͛̃̃͂͘͝͝͝ͅ ̶̢̬̼̱͈̬͍̣͍̖̟͉̫͚͇̈́̀͊͋̊̅̾͂͗̈́̌̑̚̚â̸͇͚̩̰̊̎̿̍̐́̈́͘͘͝͠ͅľ̷̛͚̦̖͗̋̇͗͋́͝r̶̢̛̲̞͎͕̜͈̬̹ͅe̵͉͕̦͈͈̞̝͙͈̠͉̹̟̗͓̊̑͗̾͐͘͘͜͜͝â̵̢̤̟̭͕͍̥͈̥̈́̌͐̾̐͊̆͆͐́̒̑͐̌̚̚͠͠ḏ̵͔̫̻̪͔͖̮͓̮͎̋̾̉͊̔̉̐̌͗͂̒͌̍̿͘͝ͅÿ̵̢̬̙́̐̃͐͋̐̾̈́̍̋̇̀͊̈́̐̋̚͝ͅ ̸͈̘͔̯̩͐̑̔̿̃͋̆̅̒͌͌̍͝͝h̷̖̟̉̌̓̅̎̉̎̌̚a̶̱̼̙̮̥͕̥͔͈̽̍̅̊̈̏̂̂̍̕͝s̸̜̮͐̓̈́ ̷̳̫̳̙͒͋̽̃̈́̈́̏̈́̈̎͂͛͝͠ţ̵̲̩̣̠̲̝͙̜̻̣̲̀̿̃̿͆̆͆h̶̩̞̠̭̳̼͇̠̝̗̻̼̮̙̞̹̤̑̈́̂̒̓̇̔̔̈́̏͌̋͝͝͝e̵̡̮̙̺̯͇͚͕͕̫͛̊̅͂̆ͅį̸̹̞̱͍̫̥͓̻̫̈́̽̏͋̃̇̋͆͑̄͒̓́̔̒̚̕r̷͕̙̖͓̩̃͒̎͂͒̓̃̕̕͘͝ ̶̛͈̜̰̗͈̭̬̥͈̳͚̼͖̙̏͗̏̎̔̏̅̌̚͜͜͝p̵̨̡̖̰͈̬̮̗͓̘̂̐̒̂̈́̊ơ̴̧̡̨̧̙̟̯̞̻̪͉͕̫̝͎̜͗̄̈̊͆̊̓ͅw̵̡̡̡̺̬̹͇̠͓̟̘̹̱̺̾͐ͅẹ̶̼̦̜͙̹͎̥͌͆̓r̶̞͔̯̪͖͖͖̝̜̜̯̰̙̈́̌̐̑.̵̡͉̫̠͎̩̦̗̣̝̝̪̙̽̈́̓̄̚̕ ̸̛̛̫̘̲̓̈́̌̈́̓͑͒̀͘͝G̴̡͙̯͖̥͙̼͕̳̜̬̺̬͕̱̭͕̐͌̍̀̑͛̓̔̾͗̒̉́̇͑̔̚ǫ̷̬͚̝̭͚̳̠͙̺̖̞̭͖̉̍͑̊̈́̇̿̋͆̂͌̊͌̀̔̈́̚ͅọ̵̎̊̌̈̌̏͌̑͂̐̕͝͝d̸̬͙͆̽̊̔̋͒͐͝ ̸̧͈͓̱̗̂̄̃̇͊̒̅̏̀͊̚t̶̡͇̭̣̫̣̹͙̤̬̥̗̑̊͠͠h̷̬̬̙̣̙̭͚̦̝̦͇̻͖̹͂̅̄̓̈́͊̆̈͐̄͊͜͠͝͝ỉ̴̛͍͙͔̬̹̬̞̄̈́͐̅͒̌́̿̐̊͐̕͜ͅn̶̡̝̱̘̯̼̳̝̬͙̰̻̦̳̈͒̾͂͌͆̿̐̈́̈͠g̶̢̜̬̫̰̯̖̹̩̤͊̇̈́̓̓͂̓̐̚ͅ ̷̨̛̩͙̹̻̩̣̦̬͇̤̥̼̓̋̄͒̈̄h̴̩̲̠̥̳̹͇̮͇͕͔̝̤͗̓͗̈́͘ͅͅȩ̸̨̻͇̫̥̩̪̟͈̩̼̘̒̆͌̆̕͜͜'̷̨̡̡͇͍͖͈͎̣͈̞͙̼̖̠̲̭͖̳͛͋̎̂̾̆̅͒͘s̶̪͙̭͔̋͛͑̐͛͝ ̶̲̄̈́̈͂̽͒͋͗̊͑̂̈̈́̚̚͝͠ņ̴̡̥̦͇̗͕̖̜͖̞̒͋̑̇̌̾̈͗͝ŏ̸̤̈́̾͋ț̷̠͓̲̹̻͔̙̻͍͎̮̾̎̈́̂̅̉͌̓̋̒͐̊̌̽̿̑̚ ̷̨̢̤̲̥̹̰̼̗̰͍̮͖̥̺̠̾͂͗͂̓̑̑̔̎͛͗̿̉̚͘ͅa̵͎̫̳̲̙̤̟̦̺̗̣̞͉͉͒̇͊̍̎͂̍͛ͅ ̸͚͈͉̱͇̦̜̣͉̗̎̇̒ͅͅģ̸̦̱̠̣͔̼͉͗̉̒̈̓̃̾͝ơ̶̢̧̹̯̳̬̱̭͇̣̖͊̆͂͊͑͋͑͑̚̚͠͝͝o̶̧̬̹͈͎̯͈̼̰̫̲̣̜̥̊̀̔́̔̇͑͆͝͝ͅͅd̷̢͎̰̖͚͉͙̼͓̮̗̬̦̱͔͊̍̉̿̈̌̂̄̐̒̿̚ ̷̢̧̼̹̏͐̄̀͑̏̉͊̊͝ͅf̸̧̧̺͔͉͙̮͈͕̭̜͈̰̗̎͐̑̈́͑̀́̌͝ö̸̢̨͍̥̞̮̹̫̹͓̞̱̟͓̳̳͙́̎̽̿̑̀͆̾͝ͅͅr̶͇͍̱͚͖͚͑̓̈̋̌̌́̃͆͌͋ ̸̢͔̙̻̼̼̦̞̲̫̗͓̝̦̒͗̚ń̷̨͕̟̲̦̬͉͖̘̜̺̱̭̖͖͈́̋ͅơ̷̙͚͕̰̼͕̙̞̠̥͚̠͆̂͌̋͑̚͠ţ̸̠̜͔̭͐̓͋͛̾̽̊̓̓ḩ̵̧͍͕̙̱͈͈̤̑̔͜i̸̢̢̮͇̤̘̞̥͋̅̑̀̂̈́n̶͎͙̎̄̿̚g̷̢̻̩̟̳̲̩̫̝̮̤̞͈͎̹͈͗͂͜.̴̡̖̬͇̬̫̰͙̺̖̇͐̒̿́̎̔̈́̇̊̃̆̔́̉̾̕͠.̶̢̧̧͍̭̩̤̝̪̰̤̱̹͖̰͙̹̀͑͛̉͜͜͝.̵̳̲̦̼̞͚̅̿̈ͅ

NOTES i'm taking some canon-liberties rn, like * how can the warrior trio get to the refugees before eren and the others? * [name] nor beatrice saw the armored titan because their ship had already sailed * tbh, jean's ma doesnt have a name anywhere, so i named her to write more easily i hope you don't get too much annoyed by that hehehe