Aro Ace - Blog Posts
being aroace and also a picky eater is just a constant stream of "well how do you know you won't like it if you never try it"
Pops giving the finger to amatonormativity
I made a tiktok for this! I’m drawing one aro character a day for aro awareness week!
Friendly reminder that Alastor is aroace. I personally think you can ship him however much you want, I can’t control that, but it’s disappointing that a majority of the fandom choose to romanticise and hyper sexualise him. It makes it so that he’s only portrayed as aro/ace in a minority of the fandom. A lack of sexual or romantic attraction isn’t boring, it’s not uninteresting. I want it to be normalised. Yes you can ship him but respect his canon sexual orientation, as much as you’d respect any other part of the community 💜
If anyone for some reason want to use this as any kind of profile picture you’re totally welcome!
Sometimes growing up is being given a large left boot all polished and pretty but nothing else and being told that "You'll grow into it someday." they've given you nothin' but a boot and expect you to hobble around barefoot until it fits.
So you stuff it in your drawer for that someday while walking around barefoot waiting for the day the shoe fits. It'll fit you someday. And you'll fit it back someday. Someday.
You open the drawer over and over again thinking "Maybe today is the day." but it isn't. You sit there wanting to cry because your feet are sore and tired with your skin begging to finally fall off the bone and you've been waiting for the damn shoe to fit all this time. To just fucking fit you. Fucking fit you because you were told it would and you've only those words to trust.
Years go by, and the shoe still don't fit. Either it's too big or too small for your foot. You've torn holes into it trying to force it to fit your foot and it's holding on by string and leather. It's far from the perfect boot it was when you first got it. And a whole lot closer to a single torn sole of a boot left in some small town backyard.
All you know is that it'll fit you. And you've had nothing but the focused pain in your scabbed feet to carry you around. It has to fit you. It has to. It has to or you've spent all this time waiting for it to fit and it never will. Then you focus on the never will part. Really, what if it never does? If it never does and you've spent all the time in pain waiting and waiting and waiting for nothing? Dese God you hope that's not it.
It's been decades and there's all kinds of shoe stores in your area with good boots looking real pretty in the windows. You hold out. You refuse to buy them because your boot WILL fit. It WILL. You go home and look in that drawer one last time. Dig the left boot out and put it on your begging left foot. There are two ways this can go although those two ways can lead to different things in the future. Way one, it doesn't fit. Again, it's too small or too big. You sit there frustrated because its been decades and you're not sure if the boot has decades more to go based on how worn it is. You're not sure if your feet have decades based on how worn they are. You're not sure if you have decades. Now what? Way two, it does fit. It finally fits. But, you only have a single left boot. You've waited all this time and there's no right boot to fit your worn and torn right foot. Now what?
Those two ways can lead to plenty of now whats. You waited decades for a single boot to fit you and for a single foot to fit it back. And it was all in vain. You have no shoe you can depend on now because it's all frilled leather and frayed lace that's one try on away from turning into dust. And it was all in vain. You wonder for the rest of your life about that boot. There'll be plenty of other boots and but they'll never be that boot. Solace is both found and not found.
That's it. Sometimes your childhood is a boot that you're waiting to fit so bad it becomes a religion and that's all you have to go off of. This is a 10:38 rant so yeah. Yeah that's it.
people:
me, a young aromantic:
people: love and sex is what makes us human!!!
me: oh really? then explain this!
Characters I headcanon as asexual and/or aromantic
1. Sherlock Holmes from BBC Sherlock - ace
2. Frodo Baggins - ace
3. Bilbo Baggins - aro ace
4. Spencer Reid from criminal minds - ace
5.Jo March from little women - aro ace
6. Seto Kaiba from YughiOh - ace
7. Sandra Bell from For The People - aro ace (I know she kissed Ted in the end but still)
can you get the demifamilial flag from my sona? and the aroace flag?
Of course!
Pride Flags Colorpicked from This Image
Aroace Flag Colorpicked from Chen Kitay (The Poppy War)
chen kitay from the poppy war is aroace (canon)
submitted by @tim-drake-selfcest
*art by @/colouranomaly on instagram*
do you think you could do the sunset aroace flag from hozier's first album? <3
Of course! This was one of my first color picked flags actually.
Aroace Flag Colorpicked from Hozier Album Cover
I feel as I’ve accepted my aroace-ness I’ve become so much gayer and I don’t know how, but I’m vibing with it.
I know! Though I do think that some of them might’ve had platonic crushes (”squishes”) rather than romantic crushes, but yeah romance doesn’t compute or make sense. It definitely seems subjective and varying on the individuals boundaries and then to add on top of that there’s also trauma and just one’s overall lived experience, though I do notice that some people will change their boundaries once getting to know someone as it can be a little awkward when getting to know someone in general. So yeah, basically I 100% agree with what you said above, as they don’t seem serious, but maybe they could be, not like I know.
It funny how I was able to accept that I was ace, granted I was in denial about it for some time. Then I realized I was aro and was like…”NONONO…I know I have no desire to date anyone, but NONONONONONONOnonono….I haven’t dated anyone…I don’t know what a crush feels like, let alone attraction!!! I’ve never had any fantasies!!! Wait-…people fantasize ABOUT ONE ANOTHER?!! I wouldn’t date any stranger or my friends!!!” and then I had the most funny thought at a certain point (before I knew the term aromantic) and it was, “Well maybe if I move countries I’ll be able to fall in love!!!!”, and meanwhile when romance/sex would show up in media I’d be like “Where is the plot?! Why did we lose the plot?! People actually want this?! WAIT-?! Do people act like this?!”. I also thought people were just deadass lying when they said they experienced crushes in kindergarten, which they probably weren’t lying. I will say though I do love food. I mean pesto is an absolute god. Chocolate is amazing (though if don’t like chocolate that’s cool too, same with any other food). But bread…oh my god! I love naan, rolls, and most breads.
It funny how I was able to accept that I was ace, granted I was in denial about it for some time. Then I realized I was aro and was like...”NONONO...I know I have no desire to date anyone, but NONONONONONONOnonono....I haven’t dated anyone...I don’t know what a crush feels like, let alone attraction!!! I’ve never had any fantasies!!! Wait-...people fantasize ABOUT ONE ANOTHER?!! I wouldn’t date any stranger or my friends!!!” and then I had the most funny thought at a certain point (before I knew the term aromantic) and it was, “Well maybe if I move countries I’ll be able to fall in love!!!!”, and meanwhile when romance/sex would show up in media I’d be like “Where is the plot?! Why did we lose the plot?! People actually want this?! WAIT-?! Do people act like this?!”. I also thought people were just deadass lying when they said they experienced crushes in kindergarten, which they probably weren’t lying. I will say though I do love food. I mean pesto is an absolute god. Chocolate is amazing (though if don’t like chocolate that’s cool too, same with any other food). But bread...oh my god! I love naan, rolls, and most breads.
It’s funny being somewhat extroverted and being aroace. I love it! I feel like a double agent.
Also the line between romance and friendship is so convoluted at this point that I really don’t see the difference. People kiss their friends. They make out with their friends. I mean people even fuck their friends. So where is the line. I’d say it depends on a) your boundaries, b) how you feel, and c) and where you’re at right now. Basically, all of it is subjective and I can’t tell when people are in relationships, so I always assume that they are friends cause I can’t tell.
I know it isn’t the best to be “pal paling” people, but I wouldn’t deem it a bad thing. There’s barely any aro-spec representation. Everyone has a story to tell, and perhaps even through little things, you should share your story.
On a side note, I’m literally creating a story because I decided to create my own representation. First it was for gender, now it’s for ma sexuality and romantic orientation.
The struggles real, am I right?
Being polyamorous while also being aroace has been the most confusing shit of my life. I just wanna vibe in a polycule and I want to feel cared for. I feel cared for my friends at the moment, so I’m okay now, but it’d be nice in the future, cause I don’t wanna live alone. I really shoulda known I was aro though....like the signs were so obvious...and ace even more obvious. I am glad though that I basically embody chaos at this point.
sexual attraction seems weird, like a couple days ago my drama class was watching a movie and the guy took his shirt off and loads of girls were freaking out... like yes the man has titties
As more and more time passes, I feel more and more attached to the few representations in media we have. Being on a-spec is awesome in its own way, but I only wish if I could see more of it in media. Not because I wanna feel seen. But because I wanna see what future might look like for someone on a-spec who doesn't want any sort of partnership. I saw some posts earlier talking about how a "single" life is extremely hard to sustain in current economy and that's extremely true. I also remember my friend saying "you can always adopt kids! You need someone to look after you in old age!" And... she was somewhat right, in a way. I don't want kids, but... what exactly is my future going to be like? Who is going to be there for me in a world where romantic relationships are prioritized before anything else? Its just all very very... in dark. There is no movie or book to look at and say "hey! Thats the kind of life I want!" Because every single media shows a version of life that isn't for me. I talk to my friends about wanting to live as a "single queer cat lady" but... realistically, how sustainable and possible is that?
I’m going to stop responding to this aphobe’s asks but as for their last one asking me why asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums while nothing else in the community is, that’s because you just made it up. Sexuality is a spectrum. Barely anything in the world is just black and while.
Forgot to mention this but it should be added
“aromantics can still date” sure and gay men can want to be with women
are you stupid or just dumb?
First of all, aro people aren’t necessarily ace as well so many still feel sexual attraction. Not to mention, QPRs and other tertiary attraction exist. You can also have a platonic relationship (people often underestimate the strength platonic attraction or bonds can have), a romantic relationship without attraction (often cupioromantic people will have these but anyone can), a relationship where each person is attracted or in love in a different way (for example, the women could be attracted to the man in a romantic way and the gay man could be attracted in a platonic way). The possibilities are pretty much endless. And yes, I have heard of happy couples in which the partners are a gay man and lesbian woman and they aren’t together in a lavender marriage.
“aromantics can still date” sure and gay men can want to be with women
are you stupid or just dumb?
First of all, aro people aren’t necessarily ace as well so many still feel sexual attraction. Not to mention, QPRs and other tertiary attraction exist. You can also have a platonic relationship (people often underestimate the strength platonic attraction or bonds can have), a romantic relationship without attraction (often cupioromantic people will have these but anyone can), a relationship where each person is attracted or in love in a different way (for example, the women could be attracted to the man in a romantic way and the gay man could be attracted in a platonic way). The possibilities are pretty much endless. And yes, I have heard of happy couples in which the partners are a gay man and lesbian woman and they aren’t together in a lavender marriage.
same i'm an aroace dude
Help me prove my family wrong!
I don't know if this post will break containment, but will you like/reblog if you are or know a man who is asexual? All of the people in my life seem convinced that being Ace is a 'girl thing' and that Ace men don't exist!
Cheesy Garlic Bread
happy international asexuality day to:
[PT: happy international asexuality day to:]
asexual men, y’all are so underrepresented
asexual women, you’re not “prudes”
genderqueer / non-binary asexuals, you exist
asexual trans men, you don’t deserve infantilization
asexual trans women, you’re not “just a f3tish”
asexual cis men, your existence isn’t “sad”
asexual cis women, you do NOT just exist to have babies (but if you want to have children, that’s just as valid)
asexuals who don’t experience any sexual attraction, you’re not a “stereotype”
asexuals who experience any amount sexual attraction, you’re not “faking it”
demisexuals
gray-asexuals
asexuals with a high libido
asexuals who don’t label themselves
asexuals who use many labels
asexuals who use microlabels
asexuals who are shy, you’re not a stereotype
asexuals who are outgoing, you’re not pretending
christian asexuals, you’re not “just celibate”
jewish asexuals, your existence is NOT inherently sexual
muslim asexuals, Allah loves you just as much as anyone else
hindu asexuals, your deities respect you
asexual buddhists, kindness will protect you
asexual pagans, (me!!) remember to cherish every moment
asexuals who are in the closet
out and proud asexuals
alloromantic asexuals
aromantic asexuals
aplatonic asexuals
acespecs who don’t identify with the term asexual
every asexual! y’all are so epic!!