Asexuality - Blog Posts
WHY IS EVERYTHING SO SEXUALIZED I CAN'T EVEN EAT A BANANA ANYMORE
what's sad about being asexual and having three siblings is that i can't use the "the bloodline ends with me" joke to come out on our mum.
ACES!!! Look at this Scientific American article!!! It makes me genuinely so happy to read. We’re making it!!!!
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/asexuality-is-finally-breaking-free-from-medical-stigma/
*actually I am kinda wondering how does one know if they’re asexual or aromatic?
I mean sexuality is a huge spectrum and everyone experiences it differently meaning people will all have unique experiences. I personally went through multiple labels before I even figured out I was aro/ace.
In my own experience, I figured out I was asexual first, and then aromantic followed a little bit later. A friend at the time was talking about their experience as a lesbian and mentioned feeling gross around like shirtless men and how attracted they were to women and that was when I realised that sexual attraction was an actual physical thing. Like people have a physical response or something, I don't fully understand and probably won't ever. Aromantic for me was more of a I have never experienced crushes and at this point struggle heavily imagining myself in a romantic relationship. Maybe consider how you feel about potential relationships and what is important to you in relation to them. I'm personally incredibly happy with just platonic relationships cause I get everything I could want from them.
It's the sudden realisation that attraction is actually a thing that people experience and isn't just 'oh they look cool...' Also like the experience of faking crushes to try and fit in cause I didn't understand why I didn't actually feel anything for anyone.
The funniest shit about asexuals is that all of us grew up consuming media that talks on and on about sexual attract and desire, with a pretty hypersexualized culture and people talk about it a fucking lot too. And what is that we all collectively think? "Yeah, that's clearly an exaggeration, nobody actually feels like that! The whole world it's pretending, that's the only possible explanation..." Like sure buddy, that's a very logical way of thinking, the entire world is acting, don't think too hard about it
This is actually so accurate to my own lived experience. I was comfortable with the label “Asexual” or “Ace-Spec” before, but having this microlabel feels so warm and fuzzy 🥰
finding a term that you’ve never heard before but it resonating with you so deeply is a really cool experience
and that is why research on queer identities, whether gender, sexuality, or romance, is so needed!
from Ace Voices by Eris Young
guys asjsjvssk how does romantic attraction feel like. what even IS romantic attraction pls i'm serious 😭😭
AND WHAT ABOUT SEXUAL ATTRACTION DO I JUST DON'T FEEL IT AT ALL OR HAVEN'T I MET THE RIGHT PERSON YET WHY IS ALL OF THIS SO CONFUSING
I learned about the terms "Berrisexual" and "Pomogender" and I'm trying to figure out my identity again, help...
HAHA I LOVE THIS
Translation:
Would you continue dating me if I suddenly became a worm?
-darling, you know very well that I would continue, but i have to admit that it sounds very strange
-no, ew
-what the.. why are you even asking?
-I basically don't want to date you
-the one who asked this question
Who even came up with the stereotype that aromantics are soulless and emotionless? Yes, people are different, and "bad" aromantics exist, but... My girlfriend is aromantic, my friend is aromantic and they are very nice and kind.
(they also say this about asexuals, btw 😭)
I changed my pfp. Do you like it, guys? :3
Btw Alfia is part elf. That's why she got her powers so late.
I created a new oc!! I like Smokey 🖤
me, asexual: omg... that's so hot 😳 🥵
Pull Apart Christmas Tree Garlic Bread
Thanks for the shoutout, and you know what? I feel it's specifically targeted at people like me, whose story goes similar to mine, so here is my story:
Age <14; you think you are hetero
Age 14-15; you think you might be Bi because your best friend (same gender) is so smart/ so beautiful/ so cute/ all of it, and you just go fjeksojfbwoa every time you see them, so you label yourself bisexual
Age 15-16; actually scratch the bisexuality, you don't really care about the gender anyway, you just want somebody to love you, anyone, so you do some research and discover that hey! Pansexuals don't care about the gender of people they love, so you must be Pan, right? That's logical conclusion
Age 16-17; okay, so this is the time, when people start talking more openly about sex, right? So, you realize you aren't a child any more, they talk about theirs first time or even get pregnant, and you just sit there like 😐 because WAIT! People your age really are doing it? They talk about things they felt before and after... And you just sit there because... Okay, you read (or even write) some smutty fanfics/novels, you know what sex is and everything, you even joke about it, so they have to be lying, that's impossible, you never felt like that, something has to be wrong, so you do some more research, and you find it... Asexuality, you are happy because that means you aren't a freak, a robot or a not-human creature to be killed (things I was called by some random dudes after I told them I don't feel sexual attraction) and you have a new label for yourself, you think you are panromantic asexual
Age 17-21; you are comfortable with your sexuality and romantic attraction, you find the best fitting description for yourself, you are happy with it, so you put it on the shelf and forget about it because now you know who you are, you have some problems with your gender, but that's another topic because you are almost 22 years old and... Welp, you never dated anyone, you rarely have crushes, and you don't look for love, not like some people do, no, you just... Don't feel it? "Again?" you ask yourself, It's... Welp, you know about aromantic people, you read too much about it, to not recognize it in yourself... But... You still want love... It's difficult enough when you are asexual, and... How? How are you going to find love now? So, you just... Don't label yourself because it's easier
Age 22; After some anxiety time you calm down and accept, that after 7-8 years of mislabelling yourself you are somewhere on aro/ace spectrum, and that history really like to repeating itself because for so many years you (again) thought no romantic feelings = panromantic...
I really would like this to be a joke, but almost 4 years of thinking that no sexual attraction = bi-/pansexuality AND THEN almost 8 years of thinking no romantic attraction = bi-/panromantic... Like how blind I am? How many times I will step on the same fucking rake and bonk by head with the handle?!
in honor of ace week id like to shoutout every asexual who first thought they were bi/pan because they looked at all the genders and felt no difference and zero is equal to zero so they said "huh. must be bisexual" and then shoved their sexuality back under the rug for 3-5 years
here's the thing. "ace people can still have sex" and "aro people can still be in relationships" are objectively true statements. this is because people can do whatever the fuck they want forever regardless of their label/orientation. however some of you have GOT to get your shit together and stop using those statements to undermine larger conversations about aspec identity. following up "ace people don't owe you sex in a relationship" with "ace people can still have sex in a relationship though!" is not fucking helpful! yes it's true. yes it's a reality for many people. however if we used our fucking brains for a second and thought about how following up "people don't have to conform to societal expectation" with "but people can still conform!! don't worry they can still conform!!!!" is counterproductive and very frustrating for a lot of people then we could get back to the actual point which is not "aspec people can still have sex/be in relationships" but "aspec people can do whatever they want with their relationships and their bodies". which they can, by the way. they can do whatever they want forever. and you should give them 200 dollars every time you see them for dealing with this shit
Happy International asexuality Day! Be ace, do crime, drink aced tea!
ZYZ + ZYC (49. …out of necessity)
(asexual-ZYC attempts to make an advance on ZYC, out of what he feels is necessity, hurt/comfort ensues ♥️)
I cannot tell you how much joy this prompt gave me, thank you so much! It took a while to get this story down the way I wanted to, I hope you enjoy 🖤🩶🤍💜
Zhuo Yichen isn't blind. He has long since seen the eyes Zhao Yuanzhou makes at him when he thinks Yichen isn't watching, or even when he is. He has heard the flirtations (the same as directed an Wen Xiao), has heard Yinglong say zhiji, he has noticed the others giving them space to be alone, creating chances for him to confess.
It's not that he doesn't like Zhao Yuanzhou. Most of the time the demon is sharper, funnier, more interesting, more true to his own nature than anyone Zhuo Yichen has ever seen. He wants to spend time with the demon, he wants to be the one sitting next to him, wants to feel as comfortable around the other as his friends seem to be– as Wen Xiao seems to be, despite the demon's endless stream of flirty comments.
Except…
Love is a confusing thing, to Zhuo Yichen. He loves (present tense, always present tense) his brother, his father, loves his friends. Only that doesn't seem to be the kind of love that makes people do ridiculous things. The kind of love that makes young people foolish and old people feel young, the kind of love that inspires so much art and poetry and song– This kind of love is not something Zhuo Yichen feels. Well, that or he is the most sensible person the world has ever seen.
Regardless, he likes Zhao Yuanzhou. In a way that feels different to the way he cares about his family and friends, he really likes that annoying demon. And the demon seems interested in him. So according to all the great stories, the songs, the poems (he has done his research, thank you very much), if two people like each other then they kiss. And that's how you're sure that it is love, and not just like.
And that's how he ended up here, waiting for everyone else to retire after their dinner on the veranda, hoping Zhao Yuanzhou doesn't go to bed before the others do. It is late, and they've already collectively bullied Bai Jiu into going to bed, with placations and lies that they too are about to sleep. Pei-daren may even have been telling the truth, for she retired soon after. Ying Lei is still talking, going on about this divine feast he was invited to some decades ago and about how he wants to recreate a specific dish. Wen Xiao knows him better than anyone, and winked at him when she left, claiming she had some more studying to do.
Zhao Yuanzhou has been eyeing him all evening, and Zhuo Yichen has never before had cause to wonder if this is what a piece of fruit on a market stall might feel like. He's not sure he likes the feeling of waiting to be picked, of being judged, or perhaps of being assumed to be something delicious– anyway.
Ying Lei yawns halfway through his meandering description of herbs he'd need to grow, and stands from the table. "I'm heading to bed as well, you two night owls behave yourself!"
"What do you-"
"We always do," Zhao Yuanzhou answers over Zhuo Yichen. The mountain god snorts and shakes his head as if they were children and not an ancient demon and a human more responsible than their little runaway god himself.
With Ying Lei gone this would be the perfect time to make his move. The only thing he needs to do is to turn to Da Yao and… kiss. Just kiss him. Somehow the songs and the stories failed to mention how hard that next step would be. Zhuo Yichen stares at his tea cup, and finds himself wishing for something stronger. The tea stares back at him, growing cold in accusation of his inaction. The silence loudly proclaims his failure to act, the night sky moving inexorably on to morning.
"Zhuo-daren?" Zhao Yuanzhou's questions startles him, and he turns to the demon. "You've been preoccupied all evening, am I really so very distracting?" He knows the smirk the demon will be wearing before he even turns to look at him. When he does it is hard to look away from those lips.
"No," the lie is painfully obvious to Zhuo Yichen, and of course the demon notices too. For the first time Zhuo Yichen can say he is grateful for the fact that Zhao Yuanzhou is such a flirt.
"Did you know demons can sense lies, Xiao Zhuo-daren? Why don't you tell me what's really on your mind-"
"-Can I kiss you?" The words are out of his mouth before he knows it, and he cringes at how silly, how earnest, how innocent he sounds. His cheeks are burning, and he'd give anything to be elsewhere right now. Perhaps the earth can open up to swallow him, perhaps enemies can beset the capital, hordes of demons attack the Bureau, absolutely anything… Anything would be better than sitting under the stars by the light of a few candles as Zhao Yuanzhou stares at him.
Surprise is the first emotion that flashes across Da Yao's face, but amusement follows it swiftly enough. Close behind it is a hunger Zhuo Yichen doesn't have a name for. Is that what love is, or even lust? A hunger? It seems strange, but Yichen doesn't have the time to think about that now. The silence stretches too long, and Zhuo Yichen is about to start making excuses, blame the food, the time of night, even an imaginary fever or poison.
Then the demon is moving, swift as a blade, and Zhuo Yichen almost tries to block and evade until he realizes: he asked for this. Zhao Yuanzhou lunges for him like he is attacking, but grabs him as soft as one would hold a flower, one hand snaking around his waist and the other around his neck. His lips meet Yichen's in a soft greeting, asking without words to touch him and yet being so much more eloquent about it. It's… strange. People do this for fun?
The lips against his own are warm, and while not unpleasant it's a little weird. People use their mouths for eating, and talking, and breathing– and then they also want to touch their mouths together? For extended periods of time? It isn't bad, per se, and Yichen is no poet or artist, but this does not seem like something that inspires such great art.
"Xiao Zhuo?" Oh gods. He's been thinking too much, and Zhao Yuanzhou has noticed while kissing him that he… doesn't care for kissing, apparently. "What's wrong?"
How does one explain to the person you just asked to kiss you that no, thank you for the scientific experiment, I'm not actually interested in doing that. In hindsight Zhuo Yichen realizes how awful his question was. He got the demon's hopes up over nothing, only to disappoint him. Li Lun's words about humanity's cruelty echo in his mind. Zhao Yuanzhou's eyes are searching his face, increasingly concerned with his lack of answer. He is still holding Zhuo Yichen ever so gently, their faces still close enough to feel the demon's breath ghost across his skin.
Zhuo Yichen shrinks back, breaking that gentle hold, trying to hide himself from those kind, concerned eyes. "I'm sorry."
Da Yao reaches for him, this time slowly instead of knife-fast, and lays a careful hand on his arm. The weight of it settles with the weight of a thousand expectations and Zhuo Yichen stares at it like it is something fearful. Whatever Zhao Yuanzhou reads in his gaze makes him retract his hand quick as lightning.
"I'm sorry," Zhuo Yichen repeats. He might be apologizing for either of his actions, or both, or for even waking up and thinking this was a good idea. He's honestly not sure which one it is. Perhaps running away like Ying Lei did is not such a ridiculous action after all. Especially because the ground isn't obligingly opening up and swallowing him whole. He focuses his attention on his abandoned tea cup, because he can feel Zhao Yuanzhou's eyes searching his face.
"I'm not sorry," the demon announces, and it's such a weird thing to say that it makes Zhuo Yichen look back into those dark eyes. "I got to kiss my favourite human, so whatever it is that you've done: I don't mind." His smile is entirely cheerful mischief and is such a 180 from moments before that Zhuo Yichen knows he is acting, and reacts accordingly to roll his eyes.
"There, that's the infamous Zhuo-daren I know," Zhao Yuanzhou drops part of the mischief-mask, but keeps his smile. He returns to his own seat instead of being so terribly close, and waits patiently for Yichen to sit upright and collect his thoughts. "Now, if Zhuo-daren would tell this lowly demon what he has done wrong, perhaps this one can forgive him, hm?" He makes it sound so easy, Zhuo Yichen thinks. He makes it sound so tempting, as well: forgiveness.
Zhuo Yichen stares at the demon for a long moment before deciding to put away his pride. It's the least he can do for leading the demon on like that. "I… have never kissed anyone," he begins, and resolutely looks away from the smirk Zhao Yuanzhou lips curl into at those words. "All the stories say people kiss, but I've never understood why? It just… has never seemed interesting."
"And it was interesting enough to ask now?"
"I wasn't sure– so I thought I should check, because kissing seems to be how people tell if they…"
"If they like one another?" Zhao Yuanzhou completes the words that Zhuo Yichen cannot make himself say.
"Yes," he admits, looking firmly at the table.
Laughter is probably the last reaction Zhuo Yichen expected, but Zhao Yuanzhou is laughing. "Ah, Xiao Zhuo, I have good news: there are many more ways to tell a person you like them besides kissing."
When the demon says it it sounds so simple, so obvious. Zhuo Yichen wonders why he hadn't thought of that, why the stories are so full of kissing if there are other ways to show love. Still, he feels the need to check: "You don't mind?"
"Mind? That I was given your first and last kiss? Why, Zhuo-daren I am honoured-oof," Zhuo Yichen punches him in the shoulder for that, but stays to wait while Zhao Yuanzhou gets them the wine he offered earlier. They've got much more to talk about.
Happy International Asexuality Day!!! 🖤🩶🤍💜
Tell your friends and family you love them!!!!!!
Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.
I’m trying to prove something.