Tuk was the one who realized that Spider didn't have a songcord
He had been around for a while at this point, having become a constant around the time Kiri learned to walk. She doesn't understand why her Mama hates him and says to stay away - Lo'ak and Kiri like him a lot and they have more fun chasing him then Neteyam! Neteyam is too fast and Spider is her size.
He's nice and lets her climb him and carries her even though her big siblings say she's getting too big - which, if Spider can carry her she is most certainly not too big - and plays her games while the others go to their training or apprenticeships
Sometimes he even brings her feathers and pretty things for her hair!
So yeah, when she gets to have her ceremony and holds her songcord for the first time, she's beyond concerned to find out that Spider doesn't have one
While they’re little, the cords hang in their hut until they're old enough to decide what to do with them. As it is, Lo'ak wants to braid his in his hair and Neteyam wants to put it on his bow like his mother. But there's a gap, one thats probably accidental, and she knows Spider should have his there
So she makes it her mission to be the best little sister ever and make one for him
After-all, if no one else is gonna do it then she, a craft master, is most certainly qualified
Grandmother makes most of the cords in the early stages so she inconspicuously asks for the twine to start it and how to make a bead. She asks why she needs it and Tuk tells her it's for her mother. Grandmother looks hopeful at that and gives it to her easily so Tuk knows she agrees with her. It's not till years later that she'll realize that Grandmother thought her mother had a realization...or another pregnancy. But she likes to think the first.
But...making beads is harder than she thought
She uses bone she found near the cooking fires - which, gross, Spider better like it - but whittling it is hard with only sharp pieces of the bone and rocks she found
The bead she makes is jagged and not very round and she almost cut herself a dozen times cause it's sharper than it looks but finally she has something that resembles the first beads on her cord. The knots are easier and she adds it to the start with pride. She adds a little of his blue paint cause it's his and that way it starts with him and her. Right as it should.
But even her cord has more than one bead.
Making this one was hard but Spider is her big brother and she can do it - besides, the look on her siblings faces when she presents his gift will be worth it.
So she starts wandering the outskirts of high camp with the cord on her belt. While she searches, she hums the first chords she can add. A happy little tune with a dramatic flourish; perfect so he remembers her when he sings it.
However, finding anything of use near the camp is proving futile. Nothing she finds is strong enough for a bead and the feathers are muddy and gross.
With her fathers determination, she sneaks past the bushes lining camp and into the forest
She makes it approximately 5 feet before Neteyam scoops her up.
Neteyam groans and Tuk finds herself propped up on chest, legs locked around his hips. She whines and squirms but unfortunately Neteyam is a seasoned big brother and there's no success in her attempted escape.
"Tuktuk, what do you think you're doing? You know you're not allowed outside of camp." The look on his face is disappointed and her tummy twists at the sight, but she has a good reason!
"I needed better bead stuff, the stuff in camp is yucky or is too hard." She whines but it isn't until he responds that she realizes her mistake.
"Bead supplies? Tuk what do you need bead supplies for?"
And so the surprise is busted
But...maybe she could get help
"..Spider doesn't have a songcord. I have one, you have one, Lo' has one, and Kiri has one...but he doesn't...so I'm making it. But I only have one bead."
And Neteyam doesn't know how to respond to that
Spider has been around since he could walk, they were together while Jake and Neytiri visited Kiri in her incubator, he realistically should have several beads by now. His chord should have his birth, his family, his first bow, the feather of his first kill...but Spider isn't Na'vi. He's not of the People...but it's Spider
Mom really wouldn't like it
But...it's Spider
And so he finds himself snatching Kiri's arm while she leaves her lessons. Covering her mouth when she shrieks and Tuk grabs her leg. Which, he doesn't really know why she did that, but it's Tuk. He pulls her between the huts while the other kids move on and mumbles his apology.
"Tuk, 'Teyam, what in Ewya's name are you doing?" She hisses, ears bent back, and eyes narrow. Her tail swishes angrily behind her and Neteyam realizes belatedly he could have done this better.
"We need your help. It-It's for Spider, we're making him a songcord. Tuk made him a bead but...we need help making more. You work with Grandmother, can you help us?"
And if Neteyam knows anything, its his sisters weakness for their oldest friend.
It's a long pause while she processes but soon, she relaxes, and he feels the tension leave his shoulders. Her tail slows and she takes a deep breath before she replies; "..fine. But if we do this, we all do this. Get Lo'ak and meet me behind Grandmothers. Quietly. She's out with Mother but I don't want to explain this before its done...you know Mom will be pissed, right?"
And Neteyam does...damn he does, but he nods.
With determination, they're off.
And so that is how he finds himself in a clumsy circle with his siblings surrounding him. Bone and wood are in the center of their circle, small paints with them, and a jumble of small blades. Kiri has seen Grandmother do this before and so she leads them through making their beads with a different ease than Tuk found by herself
Tuk spends the time weaving feathers into the bottom of the chord and adding bits of paint to the finished beads. They make a bags worth, albeit a small bag, for Spider too. He'll need more. Their beads by no means look to par with their own but they try their best. Each painting and carving with as much patience as they can muster.
It takes them the rest of the day but soon they have a small pile ready. Kiri takes the pieces and spends the next day tying the knots and attaching them as secure as a 10 year old can.
It's time consuming but in a few days of work between apprenticeships, meals, and whatever else may keep them within sight of the adults, they have a songcord
Its messier than theirs and small, the knots aren't as tight and the symbolism in it is meager. They wanted to keep it happy but without parents to record his beginnings, its small knots of Spider growing up in basecamp with the first beads being the familial bead they each made of themselves. They added feathers from some of their favorite varieties to the bottom and, in place of training memories, added times he won a game or did something cool. It's different but so is their brother.
They decide to present it to him together, since it was something they all made. Normally he would have a ceremony for it but they decide that his could be them.
They steal him away in the evening, right before it's time for him to head back to camp. They want him alone so the adults can ruin the moment; while some of the younger adults have accepted Spider into their ranks, they don't know how the older warriors would respond.
Tuk is the one who catches him and pulls him into the treeline. They settle into the clearing where they usually play and, anxiously, they give Tuk the cord. She walks forward and nervously holds it out. The older trio sit in nervous silence as they wait for Spider to respond.
"I...guys what is this?" Spiders face is bright red and they'd worry if it weren't for the smile trying to win over his face.
"It..its your cord, Bro. Tuk said you don't have one so...we made it." Lo'ak responds first and scoots closer, Tuk at his side. "I-I made the first one and then I got the feathers and the pretty rocks on the bottom. Kiri and 'teyam and Lo' made most of the beads but I helped paint 'em. The bag has more for later cause Kiri knows how to knot 'em in. And...And we made the song too.." Tuk grins, nervous but clearly excited. She turns and runs to her sister who begins to hum
Kiri closes her eyes, humming softly the little song her siblings made for him. Spiders grinning at this point, 12 years old and teary eyed. He scoots closer and pulls the siblings into a hug as she finishes.
"Thank you, thank you-" He cuts himself off laughing, the others joining in. There they stay until eclipse is waning over their heads and time is up.
Spider braids the cord into his hair and it's with him when Quaritch catches him. They don't know its significance to take if from him but he clings to it in his cell, humming the song to himself as he waits for help thats not coming.
Home
Spider was never meant to find Home
He knows that. No matter what Kiri whispers to him, what Lo’ak insists when the young warriors of the Omatikaya attempt to chase him off, or what Neteyam mumbles when Neytiri whips around with venom on her lips - he knows it, because if it were wrong, it would mean that everything that’s happened was for no reason. He can’t go that route, and so Home is just a concept he’ll never know
His siblings tempt to sway him many times over the years - they feel so much like Home it hurts, but he’s not so selfish to risk it for them when he knows he already took it from their mother
He’s seen his father in the photos the scientists don’t know he has, video logs that show a man that’s only been a horror story his whole life
But what scares him is he sees himself
He sees his eyes, the scowl when he’s angry, the cinch in his brow. He scowls at the image and sees his own face stare back.
So yeah. He doesn’t have a home. He has siblings though, and that’s more than he deserves. So Spider is okay. Really, he is.
But then his Dad shows up
—-
Quaritch is everything he thought he’d be and…not.
He’s angry. The man is full of hate and a need for revenge. He destroys the ground beneath his feet and spits on the life that’s surround them. He doesn’t know Ewya but he hates her none the less.
But he’s protective. Possessive of what’s his (and yet another damn thing he got from his father) and it seems Spider is included in that
He hates it but a part of him feels protected - it’s safe in the that’s holding a poison blade is. He’s one slip up from hell
But hell was bridgehead. It was the feeling of his deepest parts being pried out and displayed like the pages of a storybook
No one cared as they saw some of his best and his darkest days.
No one cared when the whips came out. When he bled so much he worried it was fatal
No one cared when he starved, when the distant sound of wildlife made his stomach twist with need.
Except Quaritch.
Quaritch snuck him food, bandaged his back, and pulled him down.
His hands may have delivered some of the blows or his lips produced the words to trigger nightmares but he cared.
Love is complicated, but he knows his Dad loved him
He thinks he may have too
Quaritch saw him.
He didn’t know. He thought he did but he didn’t but he wanted to he knows he did -
Then Neteyam almost dies. No one came for him. They left him, gave him up, except his brothers didn’t
Neteyam and Lo’ak fought for him.
They risked their lives when they had the chance to get away
Spider pieces his home together after that
Home finds him in the nights after when he rests with Kiri on his shoulder and Lo’ak’s hand loose in his grip. Tuk is curled into her mothers chest and Jake stands a silent guard at the door. Neteyam is flat on the bed of one of Ronal’s medical tents. His brother has been asleep for a few hours now with Norms assistance, but his family is too afraid to leave his side
He’s been awake the whole time. He hurts in ways he didn’t know he could until his capture but the warmth of his closest friends is too precious to loose right now. Still, he can’t sleep. Adrenaline is running under his skin and anxiety is inching up his throat. Jake is outside, safe and strong, but his tracker could lead the rest of the sky people here again, never mind Norms tempering, or his memories could have a clue, they had to be recorded, or -
Jake lays a large hand on his shoulder.
He jumps and a scared gasp escapes his throat before he processes the subtle differences. The thinner fingers, callouses Quaritch hasn’t had time to form yet, the gentleness.
“You need to sleep, Kiddo.”
Spider shudders and bows his head. “I will, just…can’t. I’ll go lay down in a few hours. When they’re okay.”
He can practically hear Jake roll his eyes. “I’m here. You’re safe, they’re safe. You need to sleep, Son.”
They both freeze, blood cold and eyes wide, as the silence envelops them.
Then, of course, Lo’ak snores and the moments gone. Jake laughs softly and suddenly exhaustion is pulling at his eyelids. A cushion slides behind him and a hand gently lowers him down.
“Sleep.”
The pieces come faster after that.
He cries with Kiri for hours. Laments his father, spills everything he felt. She’s the first one he tells the truth too. She knows more than he thinks anyone else ever will
He tells her Quaritch is alive. He tells her its all his fault.
She cries, yells, and then they just lay there. She tells him how scared she was of her mother. How lost she felt without him there.
He looks at her as she cries and another puzzle piece slides into place
Lo’ak and Neteyam came together when they came back for him, but it doesn’t feel settled until later.
They’re on their ilu with Spider behind Lo’ak as they race out to meet Payakan. He’s giant and beautiful and damn terrifying, but Lo’ak describes him as his soul brother. An extension of himself and a badass of a friend. They tell him how Payakan saved them. How he helped get Spider home
He’s scared and excited and now sure what to make of the beast, but then Lo’ak is leaving him on the ilu and falling into the water
He rises on a fin the size of a small marui with a loud whoop that can’t help but make Spider laugh in astonished awe
“Paya, meet my other brother, Spider.” Then a wave of water is splashing over him as Lo’ak laughs in a way he hasn’t heard since the forest
His breath leaves his lungs as he laughs and laughs, happy for more reasons than one. Neteyam meets his gaze from across the surf and smiles then one quick nod. He holds his gaze and feels the warmth spread in his chest.
“Team up?”
“Team up.”
Tuk has been his little sister since he held her in his arms for the first time. Neteyam snuck him over when they were barely into puberty and put a baby the size of his torso into his arms
He remembers her being the most terrifying thing in the world. He was so sure she would be terrified of him, that he would make her cry as soon as she was in his arms and the other kids would realize he’s a monster
But Tuk has always been Tuk and she just grinned and pulled his hair. Her Tswin fluttered with her affections and he knew he would do anything for her
He had never seen her angry, truly angry, until she stumbled into him cleaning the cuts along his hips and back. The cloths on the floor are bloody and his skin is angry and mottled but he had been decent at hiding the level of it until now. Behind her, Neytiri stops in her tracks as she takes in his scars
Tuk’s eyes fill with tears and then he has a bundle of 5’7” child in his arms
Her eyes flash and she looks like her mother when she growls out; “What happened? They hurt you?”
He stutters, not knowing what to say when Neytiri kneels down in front of him. She takes the ointment and the bandages in front of him, moves his arm from his side, and begins to apply. Her hands are shaking and he realizes he’s never seen her frazzled
“You’re a child.”
He looks up, Tuk now angrily crying in his arms while she cleans and gently bandages the wounds. “I..I know…look, I’m sorry Tuk saw, I-I didn’t think anyone was coming back for a while..”
“You’re a child. Children are precious. I-I didn’t realize they…that…” She scowls down at the drying blood and puts the wrap down. She pulls him forward so he rests against her with Tuk snug between them. “I’m sorry, Spider. This will not happen again.”
His face is red and words don’t seem to work but he manages a scared nod. “O-Okay?”
She nods, decisive, and resumes her work. Then, lifts a dirty dread with a disgruntled finger. “These next. My children will not be seen looking uncared for.”
And that’s that. He has a family, a home, and it’s all he ever wanted.
He doesn’t think it could get better.
Part two coming cause holy shit it's 2000 words